Philly is 5-2, and we are going to win the Ultimus. Long have we awaited the glorious S32, and the time is upon us. I went to the Oracle of Delphi and they predicted an Ultimus win as long as I sacrificed my first born, and I did that immediately without a second thought. Those two losses were literally just we could pretend other teams have a chance to beat us. I just had to take a 10 minute break from writing this to laugh at the notion of other teams being better than us. As for DeSoto? Well he's doing well being the radio man for the defense, telling players to go this way and that way, and because of that he'll never record as many stats as his other linebacker brethren. However, that might change soon, since he has a trick up his sleeve this season. That trick? Steroids. Roided DeSoto is going to get probably 16 tackles, 5 sacks, and 3 interceptions a game. He will later be disqualified, but the damage will have been done. He'll have injured every other offensive player in the league.
189 words
189 words