Being a snake based team, we obviously had to put the Snake Pit underground. And since we're also a Portland based team, the stadium obviously had to be exclusive and somewhat hipster. Thus the Snake Pit stadium is actually an underground speakeasy. The entrance to the stadium is through an unassuming door in a local coffee shop that only sells organic, single origin, fair trade coffee. There's no parking because everybody bikes or uses public transportation, and all stadium refreshments are provided by local co-op farmers.
And contrary to popular belief, the Snake Pit isn't just a cold, damp hole in the ground full of snakes. It's a warm, damp hole in the ground full of snakes because snakes are cold blooded. We have state of the art exercise and medical facilities on site, including antivenom for 9 out of the 10 venomous snake species that reside in the stadium. Please alert stadium staff immediately after receiving any bites, along with a description of what the snake looks like.
So slither on over to the Snake Pit and pay us a visit! We promisssssse you won't regret it!
(186 words)
And contrary to popular belief, the Snake Pit isn't just a cold, damp hole in the ground full of snakes. It's a warm, damp hole in the ground full of snakes because snakes are cold blooded. We have state of the art exercise and medical facilities on site, including antivenom for 9 out of the 10 venomous snake species that reside in the stadium. Please alert stadium staff immediately after receiving any bites, along with a description of what the snake looks like.
So slither on over to the Snake Pit and pay us a visit! We promisssssse you won't regret it!
(186 words)