10-10-2022, 07:48 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-16-2022, 10:20 AM by dude_man. Edited 9 times in total.)
ISFL Scouting Combine
Season 32 Edition
The scouting combine of Season 32 saw fifty-nine brave souls parade themselves athletically before a grandstand of lecherous owners eager to claim their pounds of flesh. Amid the cat-calling and empty glasses of sangria, future ISFL hopefuls gave it their all to dehumanize themselves into a commodity rather than a person; selling their bodies on the open field rather than the back alleys from whence they came. For the average person, the entire spectacle would be nothing less than wholly degrading... but fortunately for the combine class of Season 32 (and as revealed by the wonderlic test), they weren't nearly smart enough to be bothered. A fun time was had by all!
Quarterbacks
And as usual, it was the incoming quarterbacks that drew the most attention; stealing all the money and glory from their teammates at the line of scrimmage who make it possible for them to exist at all. With only two QB participants attending, it was only Bernd D. Brot that looked like they hadn't just rolled in from the donut shop to do no more than watch other people sweat. A physical specimen, Brot set QB records in the 40-yard, Vert, Broad, and Shuttle events; while ranking second all time among quarterbacks at the bench. Truly Bernard D. Brot will be a franchise quarterback for a long time to come. That can't be said for the slug-like Live Laughlove, whose bottom 10% scores in every athletic event were outperformed only by the speed at which he cleared the buffet at the local Golden Corral. It's hard to imagine any respectable ISFL team ever starting him.
Running Backs
Sporting three attendees with wonderlic's in the single digits, Season 32's running back class begs some important questions about the league's policies on head trauma. Are we doing enough?
Lalu Muhammad Zori, Rocky Rhoads, and John Riggins are the only verdant stars among a sea of red; with cohorts Marques Brown, Ebenezer Splooge, and Zack Mullikin lighting up the event tables with the colors of fall. And fall they should in this years draft unless they fall into the gym pronto.
Notably, both Zori and Riggins qualified in the top 2% of all running backs at the combine in the 40-yard, which should translate into some serious yardage on the ground for any team smart enough to draft them. It's Riggins' smarts that should propel him easily in the first round on this year's draft, and as the clear victor at the position for this group.
Wide Receivers
Escanor Sama is a stud. With a work ethic like this kid has, he's a no brainer to go in the first round. If there was ever a guy who will obviously keep up on his training and continue to improve, he's the shining example. You can take that to the bank.
Otherwise, there's not much else special about this draft class of receivers. Barnes and Sam have a few notables, but still run towards the middle of the pack. They should each go in the mid to late rounds of the draft, and likely won't evolve beyond a WR3 for any team they land on.
McQueen and Keedic look like they wandered in off the street and are simply trying to make their way back out.
Tight Ends
Lenard Graf is a name you're going to hear for a long time. This kid is the total package at tight end; sporting speed, strength and smarts. He should immediately open holes in the run game and provide great pass protection. Couple that with some explosive playmaking and you've got yourself an ISFL stud.
Herc Kirkby is also notably above, if closer to average at the tight end position, and is worth a late round shot on any ISFL team. If he puts in the work, he'll also have the potential to rise as a star in this league.
Swayman, Datamax, Manoux, and Teboat are all journeymen who are unlikely to evolve any further in their careers. To make an impact at the DSFL level with what they're working with would be a feat of its own.
Offensive Line
Strength is the name of the game when it comes to blocking, and Mauler Panda leads this class of six linemen with an impressive performance. He is one of the slowest linemen in this years class however, with a sloth-like 5.67 in the 40 yard and a lack of dexterity in other skills events. Dallas Fort-Worth was second in strength, but presents as a more all around player, with above average speed and agility for a 300lb wall of muscle. Theo Awardsystemisbad was third strongest overall, though his speed and smarts left a lot to be desired. It will depend on Theo's work ethic to decide if he'll become a big name in blocking or just another journeyman for some ISFL team. A Kicker is about as well rounded as they come while being fourth strongest overall, and Howard Walters was probably the least impressive of any lineman at the combine. Nick Denslow seemed out of position with the weakest bench today, though his speed and agility were exceptional for his size, begging the question if he's playing the correct position.
Defensive Line
Arnie Rufus is the story of this year's DL combine, absolutely crushing the course and looking all around like one of this years best players. Not far behind is Danielle Hunter and George Fantobens, who had very impressive days and were the overall strongest and fastest of all the linemen to participate. None of the others had much presence, and their success in the league will hinge heavily on their ability to hit the gym and make strides in their physical development. It's a very demanding position, and few take it all the way to super-stardom.
Linebacker
Three players stood out in this years linebacker class, and all three should have the opportunity to become superstars.
Zephyr Greywolf is a stud, if not the sharpest tack on the board. Watching him breeze through this course was not only impressive, but should cement his place as a first round pick for any team, if not the first overall.
Spicy Ron had an equally impressive day, scoring a bit lower physically though showing a bit more football knowledge overall. If he can keep working hard, he'll be the centerpiece on any ISFL team.
Kalam Mekhar was another outstanding presence at the combine, who could easily be compared to Greywolf and Ron in terms of viability for any ISFL team. One of these guys should easily win a championship over their careers.
Seven other players ran the course at the linebacker position, but none seemed impressive overall.
Defensive Backfield
Modern Nazgul absolutely dominated with an impressive 4.38 in the 40 yard and Drazagor Blaze tied for smartest football player with a wonderlic of 39. Both players should make an immediate impact coming out of the DSFL. Ladamian Beck, Lance Witt and Jack Ryan also impressed with all around solid performances.
Kicker
Jack Lewis was stellar all day with 100% power percentage and Ian Ohara should also make an impact at kicker. Spooky Bazz showed some promise, but will need a lot more work before he's ready to seriously contribute.
Season 32 Edition
The scouting combine of Season 32 saw fifty-nine brave souls parade themselves athletically before a grandstand of lecherous owners eager to claim their pounds of flesh. Amid the cat-calling and empty glasses of sangria, future ISFL hopefuls gave it their all to dehumanize themselves into a commodity rather than a person; selling their bodies on the open field rather than the back alleys from whence they came. For the average person, the entire spectacle would be nothing less than wholly degrading... but fortunately for the combine class of Season 32 (and as revealed by the wonderlic test), they weren't nearly smart enough to be bothered. A fun time was had by all!
Quarterbacks
And as usual, it was the incoming quarterbacks that drew the most attention; stealing all the money and glory from their teammates at the line of scrimmage who make it possible for them to exist at all. With only two QB participants attending, it was only Bernd D. Brot that looked like they hadn't just rolled in from the donut shop to do no more than watch other people sweat. A physical specimen, Brot set QB records in the 40-yard, Vert, Broad, and Shuttle events; while ranking second all time among quarterbacks at the bench. Truly Bernard D. Brot will be a franchise quarterback for a long time to come. That can't be said for the slug-like Live Laughlove, whose bottom 10% scores in every athletic event were outperformed only by the speed at which he cleared the buffet at the local Golden Corral. It's hard to imagine any respectable ISFL team ever starting him.
Running Backs
Sporting three attendees with wonderlic's in the single digits, Season 32's running back class begs some important questions about the league's policies on head trauma. Are we doing enough?
Lalu Muhammad Zori, Rocky Rhoads, and John Riggins are the only verdant stars among a sea of red; with cohorts Marques Brown, Ebenezer Splooge, and Zack Mullikin lighting up the event tables with the colors of fall. And fall they should in this years draft unless they fall into the gym pronto.
Notably, both Zori and Riggins qualified in the top 2% of all running backs at the combine in the 40-yard, which should translate into some serious yardage on the ground for any team smart enough to draft them. It's Riggins' smarts that should propel him easily in the first round on this year's draft, and as the clear victor at the position for this group.
Wide Receivers
Escanor Sama is a stud. With a work ethic like this kid has, he's a no brainer to go in the first round. If there was ever a guy who will obviously keep up on his training and continue to improve, he's the shining example. You can take that to the bank.
Otherwise, there's not much else special about this draft class of receivers. Barnes and Sam have a few notables, but still run towards the middle of the pack. They should each go in the mid to late rounds of the draft, and likely won't evolve beyond a WR3 for any team they land on.
McQueen and Keedic look like they wandered in off the street and are simply trying to make their way back out.
Tight Ends
Lenard Graf is a name you're going to hear for a long time. This kid is the total package at tight end; sporting speed, strength and smarts. He should immediately open holes in the run game and provide great pass protection. Couple that with some explosive playmaking and you've got yourself an ISFL stud.
Herc Kirkby is also notably above, if closer to average at the tight end position, and is worth a late round shot on any ISFL team. If he puts in the work, he'll also have the potential to rise as a star in this league.
Swayman, Datamax, Manoux, and Teboat are all journeymen who are unlikely to evolve any further in their careers. To make an impact at the DSFL level with what they're working with would be a feat of its own.
Offensive Line
Strength is the name of the game when it comes to blocking, and Mauler Panda leads this class of six linemen with an impressive performance. He is one of the slowest linemen in this years class however, with a sloth-like 5.67 in the 40 yard and a lack of dexterity in other skills events. Dallas Fort-Worth was second in strength, but presents as a more all around player, with above average speed and agility for a 300lb wall of muscle. Theo Awardsystemisbad was third strongest overall, though his speed and smarts left a lot to be desired. It will depend on Theo's work ethic to decide if he'll become a big name in blocking or just another journeyman for some ISFL team. A Kicker is about as well rounded as they come while being fourth strongest overall, and Howard Walters was probably the least impressive of any lineman at the combine. Nick Denslow seemed out of position with the weakest bench today, though his speed and agility were exceptional for his size, begging the question if he's playing the correct position.
Defensive Line
Arnie Rufus is the story of this year's DL combine, absolutely crushing the course and looking all around like one of this years best players. Not far behind is Danielle Hunter and George Fantobens, who had very impressive days and were the overall strongest and fastest of all the linemen to participate. None of the others had much presence, and their success in the league will hinge heavily on their ability to hit the gym and make strides in their physical development. It's a very demanding position, and few take it all the way to super-stardom.
Linebacker
Three players stood out in this years linebacker class, and all three should have the opportunity to become superstars.
Zephyr Greywolf is a stud, if not the sharpest tack on the board. Watching him breeze through this course was not only impressive, but should cement his place as a first round pick for any team, if not the first overall.
Spicy Ron had an equally impressive day, scoring a bit lower physically though showing a bit more football knowledge overall. If he can keep working hard, he'll be the centerpiece on any ISFL team.
Kalam Mekhar was another outstanding presence at the combine, who could easily be compared to Greywolf and Ron in terms of viability for any ISFL team. One of these guys should easily win a championship over their careers.
Seven other players ran the course at the linebacker position, but none seemed impressive overall.
Defensive Backfield
Modern Nazgul absolutely dominated with an impressive 4.38 in the 40 yard and Drazagor Blaze tied for smartest football player with a wonderlic of 39. Both players should make an immediate impact coming out of the DSFL. Ladamian Beck, Lance Witt and Jack Ryan also impressed with all around solid performances.
Kicker
Jack Lewis was stellar all day with 100% power percentage and Ian Ohara should also make an impact at kicker. Spooky Bazz showed some promise, but will need a lot more work before he's ready to seriously contribute.