02-20-2023, 08:20 AM
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2023, 08:20 AM by jollyjiggs. Edited 1 time in total.)
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Look, Legs McMillion is used to insensitive and prying questions about how he plays football and does various tasks that a pair of legs should struggle to do. He's heard it all before. That is, until his final post-DSFL draft question. An unknown reporter put Legs McMillion on the spot when asking how he likes his pasta. You see, usually the questions regarding food are related to how he eats it- never his interests in how it's made. Legs started sweating and rapidly tapping his foot. The reporter repeats the question, "is there any specific way you like pasta to be made? Chicken Alfredo? Basil pesto? Maybe just some red sauce?"
Legs McMillion stands out of his chair at the podium (no one notices because this doesn't change his height). He's been a national sensation for years now and has done multiple interviews. He doesn't shy away from hard questions. But this..... this is so much more personal. Legs McMillion has worked so hard for the 'cool guy' image he has today. He doesn't want to lose it all by answering this question, but he doesn't want to be seen as someone who run away either. He's got to answer it.
"Buttered noodles."
"Excuse me?" the reporter says.
"Butter on spaghetti noodles." Legs repeats.
"Uhh, I.. uh, that's... not very adventurous." the reporter's words stumble out.
"I am a pair of legs. I won gold in the Paralympics. I have some of the best kick returning records in college football. I was able to get drafted into the DSFL. And I am a picky eater."
Audible gasps can be heard in the room, followed by an air of awkward silence. Some other reporters leave the room shaking their heads in disbelief. An older gentleman still in his seat can be found crying profusely into his notebook. You can hear the production team frantically yelling at each other to go to commercial and get this off the air. Finally, from the chaos, the original reporter commands the attention of the room.
"Leave this on air!" states the reporter. "Legs, it's okay to be a picky eater. I'm one too, and I finally feel safe sharing this with the world. Everyone," the reporter looks directly into the camera, "I eat buttered noodles too!"
The room is totally silent. Then, it erupts in cheer. The crying old man is now clapping with tears of joy. Confetti drops from the ceiling. Then everyone shuffles out of the room and carries on with their lives.
"What the hell is this league?" Legs says out loud to himself as he scurries back into the locker room.
Look, Legs McMillion is used to insensitive and prying questions about how he plays football and does various tasks that a pair of legs should struggle to do. He's heard it all before. That is, until his final post-DSFL draft question. An unknown reporter put Legs McMillion on the spot when asking how he likes his pasta. You see, usually the questions regarding food are related to how he eats it- never his interests in how it's made. Legs started sweating and rapidly tapping his foot. The reporter repeats the question, "is there any specific way you like pasta to be made? Chicken Alfredo? Basil pesto? Maybe just some red sauce?"
Legs McMillion stands out of his chair at the podium (no one notices because this doesn't change his height). He's been a national sensation for years now and has done multiple interviews. He doesn't shy away from hard questions. But this..... this is so much more personal. Legs McMillion has worked so hard for the 'cool guy' image he has today. He doesn't want to lose it all by answering this question, but he doesn't want to be seen as someone who run away either. He's got to answer it.
"Buttered noodles."
"Excuse me?" the reporter says.
"Butter on spaghetti noodles." Legs repeats.
"Uhh, I.. uh, that's... not very adventurous." the reporter's words stumble out.
"I am a pair of legs. I won gold in the Paralympics. I have some of the best kick returning records in college football. I was able to get drafted into the DSFL. And I am a picky eater."
Audible gasps can be heard in the room, followed by an air of awkward silence. Some other reporters leave the room shaking their heads in disbelief. An older gentleman still in his seat can be found crying profusely into his notebook. You can hear the production team frantically yelling at each other to go to commercial and get this off the air. Finally, from the chaos, the original reporter commands the attention of the room.
"Leave this on air!" states the reporter. "Legs, it's okay to be a picky eater. I'm one too, and I finally feel safe sharing this with the world. Everyone," the reporter looks directly into the camera, "I eat buttered noodles too!"
The room is totally silent. Then, it erupts in cheer. The crying old man is now clapping with tears of joy. Confetti drops from the ceiling. Then everyone shuffles out of the room and carries on with their lives.
"What the hell is this league?" Legs says out loud to himself as he scurries back into the locker room.
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