Quote:1. The Season 42 Ultimus and Ultimini have officially come to an end. Congratulations to the the Norfolk Seawolves and Arizona Outlaws for each winning their respective championships. How did each of the finalists in either the Ultimus or Ultimini arrive at the playoffs? Were there any teams that surprised or disappointed during the playoffs? Did the outcome of either championship game surprise you at all?
Reader beware, this wall of text is just hiding the wall of salt behind it. Whining helps me hit the word count and that's all that counts. Don't take me too seriously. I'm not really certain that I can stomach writing a third tribute to an Arizona Outlaws championship in just five seasons since I came back to this league, but I'd rather suffer than look at anything related to the DSFL, and I'd rather look at anything related to the DSFL than write based on any of these other prompts. I guess I have a better understanding of how it felt back when Orange County wouldn't just fuck off and die. Sometimes there are teams or general managers who are just good at this stuff. And sometimes they get a max earning quarterback and wide receiver virtually for free because some people have a weird refusal to play for any team but one. Just kidding. Kind of. Really though, who am I to judge. Enjoy the league the way you want to. My mild irritation is not worth someone else's disliking the league. If you ask anyone but me, that is. Anyway, arguably the worst part about the Arizona Outlaws' victory is that their team name is two words, the lowest among all ISFL teams. Some may recall that I waxed poetic about the New Orleans Second Line last time around, even though they didn't win. Well that won't happen this time, that tactic is played out. This time I got a quarter of the way through just by bitching about how other people choose to go about their simulated player's simulated business. Anyway, let's look at Arizona's season. I don't know if the Outlaws new quarterback is a GM or someone else who forced their way there, but what a season it was for rookie QB Donovan Winters. A 66% completion rate, three times as many touchdowns as interceptions, and nearly 4,000 yards as a rookie. That's one of the better debuts I can remember, but I don't remember much that happened before S19. Definitely not a coping mechanism. Winters' spectacular debut was buoyed by wide receiver Louis Blondin, who I swear to god has been on Arizona longer than Aaron Craft was at Ohio State. Then you go look and they joined the Outlaws a handful of seasons ago after starting out with San Jose. Good on whoever that user is for giving San Jose a chance, unlike that one commissioner. I'm feeling spicy. We haven't even started with the team's Most Valuable Player yet. That honor goes to Danny Nedelko, because of course DDSPF would make running back the most important position in the offense (yeah, yeah, it's Quarterback. But the fact that running back might rank second tells you... not very much about this sim that you didn't already know). Anyway, fellow backfield member Sherwin Blue - who has like 1,200 TPE mind you, basically benched himself so Nedelko could get a billion yards or something. He certainly ruined my fantasy draft, I know that much. Anyway, Nedelko posted an absurd 17 touchdowns and nearly 1,900 yards. On the ground alone. As a receiver he added 48 catches for 351 yards and another touchdown. I kind of expected the receiving numbers to be better when I started writing that sentence. Anyway, he had 480 touches this season. I'm pretty sure his brain is now porridge and he should be forced to retire. I am very unbiased. That dynamic trio of offensive superstars, one of whom belongs in a geriatric ward no matter what the index claims, propelled the Outlaws to the league's highest scoring offense and a top four offense in terms of yardage. What helped them succeed, however, was opportunity. And opportunity was provided by the handful thanks to Arizona's stingy defense, which allowed under 19 points per game to their opponents, and just 67 rushing yards. I guess that makes sense, since they probably led for a long time in most games. There are so many players with 100 overall ratings on that defense I don't know if I'm even going to bother writing about them as individuals. It would be too depressing. Are any of them even close to regressing or getting worse or anything? I guess it helps when you sign every free agent you want and don't have to spend any real draft capital on your best players, and nobody in the league's head office bothers to step in to veto the absolutely outrageously imbalanced trade that Mobiaus made when they let him flail about as the GM of the New Orleans Second Line (had to get another one in), and wah wah wah. This team is going anywhere, so I guess I should save some of the salt for next season when they win again. Should anyone from Arizona read this and make it this far, congrats. Truly. If the team wasn't well run none of my little complaints would be here because you wouldn't have won. Back answer the original question - it can be answered in a lot fewer words. Arizona built a juggernaut and it flattened everyone in its path. The end!