10. Through a random lottery drawing, you have been named the league's new commissioner for a day. Congrats! What improvements would you make to the league if you had the power to do whatever you wanted?
I’ve answered this a few times in the last I think, but never in character. SO TODAY, LET’S TALK ABOUT A LEAGUE RUN BY WILLIE SWAGGERT. FOR SOME REASON, THE LEAGUE BELIEVES THAT WILLIE GOTTA WORK FOR TPE, MONEY, UPDATING, TASKS, STATS, AWARDS, AND SO FORTH. BUT WHY? WHY SHOULD THE SWAGMASTER MIRACLE HAVE TO DO ANYTHING? NEW RULE: IF YOU GOT LOADS OF SWAG, YOU GET EVERYTHING FOR FREE. WEIRDLY ENOUGH, ONLY SWAGGERT, THE DUCKS, AND THE SALAMANDERS HAVE ENOUGH SWAG TO PUT THIS TO GOOD USE.
NEXT UP, WE GOTTA SEGREGATE THE PLAYERBASE BY “MOST DESERVING TO BE ON A TEAM WITH WILLIE SWAGGERT” to “LEAST DESERVING TO BE ON A TEAM WITH WILLIE SWAGGERT.” BY DOING THIS, WE REWARD THOSE WHO HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN ACKNOWLEDGED BY THE MASTER OF SWAG AND ENSURE THAT THEY ALL GET WHAT THEY DESERVE. AND THOSE WITH NO SWAG GET PAIRED UP SO THEY CAN BE SWAGLESS TOGETHER, AWAY FROM SOCIETY PREFERABLY SO SWAGGERT DONT GOTTA SEE NONE OF IT. BY DOING THIS, EVERYONE IS HAPPY BECAUSE ONLY WILLIE SWAGGERT APPROVED FAN FAVORITES EVER WIN, SO THAT MEANS THE FANS ALWAYS GET WHAT THEY WANT 24/7, AND ANYONE WHO FALLS OUT OF FAVOR GETS ROTATED OUT SO THE FANS STAY WINNING AND DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CONTINUING TO WATCH BUSTERS BRING THE SWAG TEAM DOWN.
LASTLY, AS HEAD OF EVERYTHING, SWAGGERT DECLARES THAT ALL INTERNAL RECORDS WILL BE CLEARED FOR A COMPLETE FRESH START. This is because Willie Swaggert is constantly under severe legal proceedings due to a never ending amount of false accusations from his haters who ARE CONSTANTLY SEEKING TO RUIN HIS LIFE. SO BY CLEARLY INTERNAL RECORDS, NO LONGER WILL A GM ASK A PLAYER “Did you really commit those murders?” OR “Son, you should be locked away in a federal prison, not a football team.”
308 words
14. Expansion Expansion Expansion! Tell us why you think the league should expand / not expand or include any ideas (in words) for team branding ideas you have or team locations.
I’ve always been someone who has wanted more and more expansion, as I’m sure a lot of people have. All of the other leagues benefit from smaller team sizes so it’s easier for them to have a bunch of teams and it helps make them look WAAAAY more active than us, when in reality there’s just so many more positions for us to fill. With that said, it sucks being the one league who has to talk about potential contraction so often. But that’s the nature of what we do, of course.
To start getting to my point here, I think contraction a little bit at the ISFL level would be extremely healthy for the leagues, but damn is that such an awful thing to say or feel, because I don’t want to see anyone lose their team. But as it stands, DSFL is perpetually in a state of losing players too quickly and ISFL teams who are either too filled or not filled enough. We only really need to reduce the league by two ISFL teams, but honestly, I’d say if we do contract they should absolutely be kept as bot teams so we don’t lose the branding and can keep somewhat unique matchups going. Maybe even allow the team GMs and warrooms to manage to bots and boy names? Just feels like total elimination which is what usually occurs or gets pitched around would be the wrong move.
Another point that came to mind, is that we could expand but make the expansion teams bots only, controlled by the select few who made the team. Seems like a fun way to reward people while having some variety in the teams. And the teams could be made entirely out of something similar to GM bots so people can make them feel somewhat competitive.
304 words
I’ve answered this a few times in the last I think, but never in character. SO TODAY, LET’S TALK ABOUT A LEAGUE RUN BY WILLIE SWAGGERT. FOR SOME REASON, THE LEAGUE BELIEVES THAT WILLIE GOTTA WORK FOR TPE, MONEY, UPDATING, TASKS, STATS, AWARDS, AND SO FORTH. BUT WHY? WHY SHOULD THE SWAGMASTER MIRACLE HAVE TO DO ANYTHING? NEW RULE: IF YOU GOT LOADS OF SWAG, YOU GET EVERYTHING FOR FREE. WEIRDLY ENOUGH, ONLY SWAGGERT, THE DUCKS, AND THE SALAMANDERS HAVE ENOUGH SWAG TO PUT THIS TO GOOD USE.
NEXT UP, WE GOTTA SEGREGATE THE PLAYERBASE BY “MOST DESERVING TO BE ON A TEAM WITH WILLIE SWAGGERT” to “LEAST DESERVING TO BE ON A TEAM WITH WILLIE SWAGGERT.” BY DOING THIS, WE REWARD THOSE WHO HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN ACKNOWLEDGED BY THE MASTER OF SWAG AND ENSURE THAT THEY ALL GET WHAT THEY DESERVE. AND THOSE WITH NO SWAG GET PAIRED UP SO THEY CAN BE SWAGLESS TOGETHER, AWAY FROM SOCIETY PREFERABLY SO SWAGGERT DONT GOTTA SEE NONE OF IT. BY DOING THIS, EVERYONE IS HAPPY BECAUSE ONLY WILLIE SWAGGERT APPROVED FAN FAVORITES EVER WIN, SO THAT MEANS THE FANS ALWAYS GET WHAT THEY WANT 24/7, AND ANYONE WHO FALLS OUT OF FAVOR GETS ROTATED OUT SO THE FANS STAY WINNING AND DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CONTINUING TO WATCH BUSTERS BRING THE SWAG TEAM DOWN.
LASTLY, AS HEAD OF EVERYTHING, SWAGGERT DECLARES THAT ALL INTERNAL RECORDS WILL BE CLEARED FOR A COMPLETE FRESH START. This is because Willie Swaggert is constantly under severe legal proceedings due to a never ending amount of false accusations from his haters who ARE CONSTANTLY SEEKING TO RUIN HIS LIFE. SO BY CLEARLY INTERNAL RECORDS, NO LONGER WILL A GM ASK A PLAYER “Did you really commit those murders?” OR “Son, you should be locked away in a federal prison, not a football team.”
308 words
14. Expansion Expansion Expansion! Tell us why you think the league should expand / not expand or include any ideas (in words) for team branding ideas you have or team locations.
I’ve always been someone who has wanted more and more expansion, as I’m sure a lot of people have. All of the other leagues benefit from smaller team sizes so it’s easier for them to have a bunch of teams and it helps make them look WAAAAY more active than us, when in reality there’s just so many more positions for us to fill. With that said, it sucks being the one league who has to talk about potential contraction so often. But that’s the nature of what we do, of course.
To start getting to my point here, I think contraction a little bit at the ISFL level would be extremely healthy for the leagues, but damn is that such an awful thing to say or feel, because I don’t want to see anyone lose their team. But as it stands, DSFL is perpetually in a state of losing players too quickly and ISFL teams who are either too filled or not filled enough. We only really need to reduce the league by two ISFL teams, but honestly, I’d say if we do contract they should absolutely be kept as bot teams so we don’t lose the branding and can keep somewhat unique matchups going. Maybe even allow the team GMs and warrooms to manage to bots and boy names? Just feels like total elimination which is what usually occurs or gets pitched around would be the wrong move.
Another point that came to mind, is that we could expand but make the expansion teams bots only, controlled by the select few who made the team. Seems like a fun way to reward people while having some variety in the teams. And the teams could be made entirely out of something similar to GM bots so people can make them feel somewhat competitive.
304 words