I am about to write 600 words about the Portland Pythons.
S46 was a tough one for Portland. They finished 3-11 with the worst offense and almost worst defense in the league, then lost their WR1 Brad Woof to the ISFL. After that, their co-GM left to accept the GM position for the Yellowknife Wraiths, resulting in a search for a new GM. Finding and hiring Jadda as GM was the Pythons first and likely most important step towards S47 relevance, followed almost immediately by drafting LB Willeh Strong with their hard earned first overall pick.
The team had a strong draft, taking key players like S Rocket Ride and returning TDL waiver RB American Dream, and their returning S46 players like Jadda's WR Jonathan Irons, Yap God TE Tyler Higbee II, CB Edith Nickelback, and LB Upcetti Spaghetti rounded off a well-balanced squad.
The team got off to a rough start, likely due to the huge turnover and attempting to find a rhythm with their new talent and management. But coming into week 6 at 1-5, they sure found it. New GM Jadda and LB Willeh were heavily devoted to sim testing this season, and everything started to click. Using their new testing strategy of [THIS STATEMENT HAS BEEN REDACTED BY THE PORTLAND PYTHONS], the team was able to maximize their players' talents. In the following nine games to end the season, the Pythons would go 8-1.
Their final game of the regular season was crucially important to the team, as with their unfortunate start, they found themselves on the edge of a playoff berth and tied in the standings with their division rival London Royals. With both teams at 8-5, it was a win-and-in scenario for London and Portland. I saw first-hand the dedication displayed by Portland's testing team, and I have no doubt that their incredible effort before the matchup is what won them the game in such dominating fashion. Portland put their foot on the gas from the opening kickoff and never looked back, winning 26-12 and grabbing a playoff berth.
The team's biggest hurdle would come in their first round matchup with the Minnesota Grey Ducks. Minnesota was 11-3 on the season and was sporting the top defense in the league, plus a top 2 offense. The game did not start in Portland's favor at all, as the first five scores were by the Grey Ducks. Two Oswald-Newton FGs, two Soul King Brooks rushing TDs, and a pick six halfway through the third quarter gave Minnesota a 27-0 lead with just under seven minutes remaining in the third. For most teams, this would have been the end of things, but finally the Pythons' sim experience started to pay off. Portland's potent passing offense suddenly came to life and their defense became impenetrable. QB Van Goff would lead his team down the field for four consecutive touchdowns and the Grey Ducks were entirely unable to even move into FG range. Pythons stun the league's top team with a historic comeback and would go on to win 28-27, the winning touchdown coming at 51 seconds remaining in the form of a two yard Van Goff pass to RB Gucci Gurley.
Portland cemented their S47 legacy as a stellar second-half team with their impeccable performance in the Ultimini. Up against the #2 seed Luchadores who were appearing in their second straight championship game, the Pythons faced the #2 and #1 offenses in back to back weeks. A defensive battle in the first quarter was finally won by the Pythons with an Animal Blundetto 3 yard TD run, but TIJ answered swiftly and strongly, once again putting Portland on their back foot. Four straight scores (three FGs and a one yard Andre Benn receiving TD) put the Pythons in a 16-7 hole in the early third quarter. Then, just as they did against Minnesota, Portland came alive. Unlike the previous week, they still allowed their opponents one more TD, but the second-half offense was electric, scoring three TDs in the same amount of time. The dagger was a two yard TD catch by the Yap God himself, Tyler Higbee II, and the unlikely worst-to-first story was compete. TIJ sent packing two years in a row, and the 9-5 Portland Pythons lift the trophy.
S46 was a tough one for Portland. They finished 3-11 with the worst offense and almost worst defense in the league, then lost their WR1 Brad Woof to the ISFL. After that, their co-GM left to accept the GM position for the Yellowknife Wraiths, resulting in a search for a new GM. Finding and hiring Jadda as GM was the Pythons first and likely most important step towards S47 relevance, followed almost immediately by drafting LB Willeh Strong with their hard earned first overall pick.
The team had a strong draft, taking key players like S Rocket Ride and returning TDL waiver RB American Dream, and their returning S46 players like Jadda's WR Jonathan Irons, Yap God TE Tyler Higbee II, CB Edith Nickelback, and LB Upcetti Spaghetti rounded off a well-balanced squad.
The team got off to a rough start, likely due to the huge turnover and attempting to find a rhythm with their new talent and management. But coming into week 6 at 1-5, they sure found it. New GM Jadda and LB Willeh were heavily devoted to sim testing this season, and everything started to click. Using their new testing strategy of [THIS STATEMENT HAS BEEN REDACTED BY THE PORTLAND PYTHONS], the team was able to maximize their players' talents. In the following nine games to end the season, the Pythons would go 8-1.
Their final game of the regular season was crucially important to the team, as with their unfortunate start, they found themselves on the edge of a playoff berth and tied in the standings with their division rival London Royals. With both teams at 8-5, it was a win-and-in scenario for London and Portland. I saw first-hand the dedication displayed by Portland's testing team, and I have no doubt that their incredible effort before the matchup is what won them the game in such dominating fashion. Portland put their foot on the gas from the opening kickoff and never looked back, winning 26-12 and grabbing a playoff berth.
The team's biggest hurdle would come in their first round matchup with the Minnesota Grey Ducks. Minnesota was 11-3 on the season and was sporting the top defense in the league, plus a top 2 offense. The game did not start in Portland's favor at all, as the first five scores were by the Grey Ducks. Two Oswald-Newton FGs, two Soul King Brooks rushing TDs, and a pick six halfway through the third quarter gave Minnesota a 27-0 lead with just under seven minutes remaining in the third. For most teams, this would have been the end of things, but finally the Pythons' sim experience started to pay off. Portland's potent passing offense suddenly came to life and their defense became impenetrable. QB Van Goff would lead his team down the field for four consecutive touchdowns and the Grey Ducks were entirely unable to even move into FG range. Pythons stun the league's top team with a historic comeback and would go on to win 28-27, the winning touchdown coming at 51 seconds remaining in the form of a two yard Van Goff pass to RB Gucci Gurley.
Portland cemented their S47 legacy as a stellar second-half team with their impeccable performance in the Ultimini. Up against the #2 seed Luchadores who were appearing in their second straight championship game, the Pythons faced the #2 and #1 offenses in back to back weeks. A defensive battle in the first quarter was finally won by the Pythons with an Animal Blundetto 3 yard TD run, but TIJ answered swiftly and strongly, once again putting Portland on their back foot. Four straight scores (three FGs and a one yard Andre Benn receiving TD) put the Pythons in a 16-7 hole in the early third quarter. Then, just as they did against Minnesota, Portland came alive. Unlike the previous week, they still allowed their opponents one more TD, but the second-half offense was electric, scoring three TDs in the same amount of time. The dagger was a two yard TD catch by the Yap God himself, Tyler Higbee II, and the unlikely worst-to-first story was compete. TIJ sent packing two years in a row, and the 9-5 Portland Pythons lift the trophy.