The Oxford Comma actually started playing American football in England. While everyone else was learning how to juggle a cute little round ball on their foot, where kicking it was predictable and just geometry, Comma turned his focus onto something more challenging. He was never the biggest lad in the schoolyard, but he could read a play perfectly as soon as the huddle broke. His anticipation was second to none. Some kids even wandered if he had the superpower of reading minds. He would predict snap counts (once he perfectly timed a 7th grader's "hilarious" 12 count snap, jumping the line and wrapping his arms around the QB before he even got both hands on the ball), deflect any pass over the middle, and would always choose the correct running hole to plug. Unfortunately for Comma, no one wanted to play with him. He often had to seek out clubs in order to even play pickup. His reputation as a menace preceded him and he would often clear games just by arriving.
But now, Oxford Comma has taken his talents to the coast, where his eccentricity is rewarded and his defensive mind could be put to good use.
But now, Oxford Comma has taken his talents to the coast, where his eccentricity is rewarded and his defensive mind could be put to good use.