24. What are your thoughts on the sim engine? What sort of improvements would you make to the sim engine if given the opportunity? (Written Task)
The issue with this question is to decide how vulgar to be... (just kidding). But to be completely frank and quite serious, I think this sim engine could be a lot better. "How?" you ask. "shrug" I say.
It would be easy to point at the aesthetics and say that dots are boring. Which is true, but it's nor the reason the sim is bad. No, I'm talking about the things we have just accepted as "the sim being the sim", outrageous outcomes that have just been accepted as if it were a part of life. The leaves fall off the trees in October, but punting on 3rd down is a flying pig. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of having to carry an umbrella outside to keep from being pooped on by all the airborne swine.
I'm usually one to say that a suggestion about a change is worth very little unless it has a solution to offer, too. But here I am complaining without a reasonable alternative to suggest.
25. You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do? (Written Task)
This might be the easiest offseason task question of all time. We have had hundreds of "primetime" halftime shows over the years, yet very very few of them have stood out as being even slightly good. These productions are constantly worried about doing the next BIG thing, y'know? In an attempt to out-do last time, they think they have to go bigger. But deep down in our subconscious, what we really all want is smaller. So every halftime show would consist of two parts: a concert and a singalong. First up, Taylor Swift (yeah yeah I know). Now this isn't some eras tour big stage nonsense. This is Taylor on the 50 yard line with a 5 piece band behind her. Depending on the year, there might be a small 3-piece bass ensemble, too. Then, after 5 performance songs, Taylor dismisses the band and pulls up a stool. Then she leads the stadium in a singalong of the most classic, unhateable songs in existence: Sweet Caroline, Mr. Brightside, Bohemian Rhapsody, Piano Man, etc.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
27. if your player wasn't a professional in the ISFL/DSFL, what would they be doing instead? (Written Task or Graphic Task)
With a name like Oxford Comma, I feel like the choice is pretty obvious...WWE. Name all of the best grammatical punctuations and you'll see that they all, at one time or another, have performed in the WWE. Comma has the size for it, the dramatics for it, and most certainly the fan base for it. The Oxford Comma is the most beloved punctuation of all of english language. Ask any linguist you know. Er, anyone who would admit to being a linguist.
Either way, the path is paved. The Comma does that the Comma wants to do. On game days, it's eating sack lunches and retrieving fumbles. But once he hits that geriatric age of 32, he becomes too sophisticated to be in the ISFL and instead moves on to the refined WWE. It is a natural progression I assure you. Therefore, if the ISFL were to fold today, Comma's future would still be exceptionally bright.
28. Imagine your current position was not available to be picked when you created your player. What other position would you have picked, and why? (Written Task)
Well, my first player was a WR. He was modeled around Julian Edelman, but no one told me that slot receivers in the ISFL suck, so Calvin Spiff also kinda sucked. So to distance myself from him and to give myself time to get over how bad he was, I decided to go to the defensive side of the ball. And what position is more fun to play than LB? However, had all the LB positions ben filled and I was forced to choose something else, I probably would have gone like DE I suppose. I wanted to stay on the defense so that I would feel less conceited when I make an offensive player next time. I feel like you gotta have experience with both, y'know? Anyways, Comma would have been on the line most likely. But I would have been more open to swapping to a DB in that case too. Kicker was on the table, but I knew I had at least one more player of mostly max earning in me before I had to make a position that can skirt by on it's mediocre earning that I plan to do in a few seasons.
The issue with this question is to decide how vulgar to be... (just kidding). But to be completely frank and quite serious, I think this sim engine could be a lot better. "How?" you ask. "shrug" I say.
It would be easy to point at the aesthetics and say that dots are boring. Which is true, but it's nor the reason the sim is bad. No, I'm talking about the things we have just accepted as "the sim being the sim", outrageous outcomes that have just been accepted as if it were a part of life. The leaves fall off the trees in October, but punting on 3rd down is a flying pig. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of having to carry an umbrella outside to keep from being pooped on by all the airborne swine.
I'm usually one to say that a suggestion about a change is worth very little unless it has a solution to offer, too. But here I am complaining without a reasonable alternative to suggest.
25. You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do? (Written Task)
This might be the easiest offseason task question of all time. We have had hundreds of "primetime" halftime shows over the years, yet very very few of them have stood out as being even slightly good. These productions are constantly worried about doing the next BIG thing, y'know? In an attempt to out-do last time, they think they have to go bigger. But deep down in our subconscious, what we really all want is smaller. So every halftime show would consist of two parts: a concert and a singalong. First up, Taylor Swift (yeah yeah I know). Now this isn't some eras tour big stage nonsense. This is Taylor on the 50 yard line with a 5 piece band behind her. Depending on the year, there might be a small 3-piece bass ensemble, too. Then, after 5 performance songs, Taylor dismisses the band and pulls up a stool. Then she leads the stadium in a singalong of the most classic, unhateable songs in existence: Sweet Caroline, Mr. Brightside, Bohemian Rhapsody, Piano Man, etc.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
27. if your player wasn't a professional in the ISFL/DSFL, what would they be doing instead? (Written Task or Graphic Task)
With a name like Oxford Comma, I feel like the choice is pretty obvious...WWE. Name all of the best grammatical punctuations and you'll see that they all, at one time or another, have performed in the WWE. Comma has the size for it, the dramatics for it, and most certainly the fan base for it. The Oxford Comma is the most beloved punctuation of all of english language. Ask any linguist you know. Er, anyone who would admit to being a linguist.
Either way, the path is paved. The Comma does that the Comma wants to do. On game days, it's eating sack lunches and retrieving fumbles. But once he hits that geriatric age of 32, he becomes too sophisticated to be in the ISFL and instead moves on to the refined WWE. It is a natural progression I assure you. Therefore, if the ISFL were to fold today, Comma's future would still be exceptionally bright.
28. Imagine your current position was not available to be picked when you created your player. What other position would you have picked, and why? (Written Task)
Well, my first player was a WR. He was modeled around Julian Edelman, but no one told me that slot receivers in the ISFL suck, so Calvin Spiff also kinda sucked. So to distance myself from him and to give myself time to get over how bad he was, I decided to go to the defensive side of the ball. And what position is more fun to play than LB? However, had all the LB positions ben filled and I was forced to choose something else, I probably would have gone like DE I suppose. I wanted to stay on the defense so that I would feel less conceited when I make an offensive player next time. I feel like you gotta have experience with both, y'know? Anyways, Comma would have been on the line most likely. But I would have been more open to swapping to a DB in that case too. Kicker was on the table, but I knew I had at least one more player of mostly max earning in me before I had to make a position that can skirt by on it's mediocre earning that I plan to do in a few seasons.