10-21-2024, 12:04 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-21-2024, 12:11 AM by Megsychan. Edited 1 time in total.)
I want to thank you, and everyone else involved in this RP, for the amazing reception my writing has gotten. I don't always get this in every project I end up joining; I literally just left a PBP game the other week because the GM claimed I wrote too much and that I was cluttering his backlog with, you know, actually trying to develop my character. One thing you learn when you do roleplays is that you got to find the people who appreciate you and hold them tight, because they're one in a million in the wider sphere. From my brief time here in the ISFL, I felt that with the vast, vast majority of the people here do appreciate me, and gave me nothing but the warmest reception, and I appreciate the fuck out of that.
I remember one of the things that really got me to fall in love in the league, after initially considering leaving after perhaps not the greatest draft experience in the world, was coming onto the San Jose locker room and seeing how many people there reacted to one of my media posts after I published. Specifically, it was my presser, which I still hold is one of my favorite pieces I wrote, shameless plug here. There were people who I never interacted with once in the league up to that point talking to me about how much they loved my writing. People who clearly weren't just saying it to be polite, but actually showed they had a basic understanding of the plot line I was making with Akane. That made me so happy that day, because I will be honest, I do get paranoid about shit like that. Constantly feeling that no one likes me, no one wants me around, etc. I want to stress this is a me issue. I'm not trying to subtweet anyone here. I have trust issues sometimes, and that's no one's fault nor responsibility but my own.
But with those trust issues in mind, I'd see my own media, and look at the fact that honestly, it doesn't get the most engagement nor does it pull the best numbers re view count, and it did, at that point, make me wonder how much people cared about what I was writing about. I'd get the usual crowd of a few people (including some friends who I send my writing to but otherwise don't participate in the rp, including my gf at the time), to comment about how they'd like a piece, but I see that my media just really wasn't doing much on the forum itself. And you have to remember, I come from a RPing tradition where I'm used to people constantly responding to each other, building off of each other, etc, so the silence was sometimes deafening. I really am not just used to posting shit and not seeing anyone respond back. But that moment in the San Jose locker room, along with similar moments in both the rookie chat and to a lesser extent the main chat (I prefer the rookie chat outside of gameday, what can I say?)... it really did make me feel appreciated at that moment. It made me realize that despite the numbers, despite the limited engagement, people actually do care about what I have to say. People do care about Akane. People are invested in my blorbo's plight as she tries to adjust herself into a life of stardom.
I don't think I really properly paid that moment back to San Jose at this point, if I can be honest, but hopefully as I am called up this season, I can show the love back.
On a semi-related note, this rp has helped a lot with my mental health. You guys obviously have only seen me for a few months, and I'd rather not overshare on a public facing space, but my output can be... spotty, at times. But the ISFL represented something so fresh, so engaging to me as a core conceit to write about, appealing to so many niche interests of mine all at once, that I couldn't help but feel inspired to write. And so, I did. I even talked to my therapist about you guys from time to time (My first messages on the discord was even sent in his office lmao). And... one of the things I said in my last session, is that I felt like writing for Akane has made me feel more prepared to try to go back to finish my masters, since I'm showing I can write on schedule and actually produce at a reasonable pace again. It's still not certain, its still not finalized, but the fact I am even at this point at all... I got to thank all of you guys again. You lot have no idea how much y'all helped me in my fucked up journey in life.
I want to shout out @jreed12, @AustinP0027 @.HoshinoIchika, @WALDO, @Gadget, @Bigred1580 and everyone else in the Dallas LR for always believing in me, even when I had to take a mental health break early on when I hadn't fully established myself yet. I keep talking about how much I love Dallas and my time there, and I stand by it. I couldn't have been drafted into a better team. On the San Jose side, I want to shout out @RussDrivesTheBus for being much more accommodating than he needed to be in my transition into the ISFL proper. Hopefully, this season, you'll see the Yajin in full gear. If I don't get the DB record for most sacks and/or fumbles, then the sim hoed me. I want to also shout out all the friends I made talking on the rookie server, far too many to list, but the main reason why this community is so great is the people who make it up. And of course, the person I have to thank the most is my love of my life, @Butteryicarus. You give me reason to keep going every night. I love you so much.
Also I lost power writing this which is why it took so long to post this I am so sorry ;_;
I remember one of the things that really got me to fall in love in the league, after initially considering leaving after perhaps not the greatest draft experience in the world, was coming onto the San Jose locker room and seeing how many people there reacted to one of my media posts after I published. Specifically, it was my presser, which I still hold is one of my favorite pieces I wrote, shameless plug here. There were people who I never interacted with once in the league up to that point talking to me about how much they loved my writing. People who clearly weren't just saying it to be polite, but actually showed they had a basic understanding of the plot line I was making with Akane. That made me so happy that day, because I will be honest, I do get paranoid about shit like that. Constantly feeling that no one likes me, no one wants me around, etc. I want to stress this is a me issue. I'm not trying to subtweet anyone here. I have trust issues sometimes, and that's no one's fault nor responsibility but my own.
But with those trust issues in mind, I'd see my own media, and look at the fact that honestly, it doesn't get the most engagement nor does it pull the best numbers re view count, and it did, at that point, make me wonder how much people cared about what I was writing about. I'd get the usual crowd of a few people (including some friends who I send my writing to but otherwise don't participate in the rp, including my gf at the time), to comment about how they'd like a piece, but I see that my media just really wasn't doing much on the forum itself. And you have to remember, I come from a RPing tradition where I'm used to people constantly responding to each other, building off of each other, etc, so the silence was sometimes deafening. I really am not just used to posting shit and not seeing anyone respond back. But that moment in the San Jose locker room, along with similar moments in both the rookie chat and to a lesser extent the main chat (I prefer the rookie chat outside of gameday, what can I say?)... it really did make me feel appreciated at that moment. It made me realize that despite the numbers, despite the limited engagement, people actually do care about what I have to say. People do care about Akane. People are invested in my blorbo's plight as she tries to adjust herself into a life of stardom.
I don't think I really properly paid that moment back to San Jose at this point, if I can be honest, but hopefully as I am called up this season, I can show the love back.
On a semi-related note, this rp has helped a lot with my mental health. You guys obviously have only seen me for a few months, and I'd rather not overshare on a public facing space, but my output can be... spotty, at times. But the ISFL represented something so fresh, so engaging to me as a core conceit to write about, appealing to so many niche interests of mine all at once, that I couldn't help but feel inspired to write. And so, I did. I even talked to my therapist about you guys from time to time (My first messages on the discord was even sent in his office lmao). And... one of the things I said in my last session, is that I felt like writing for Akane has made me feel more prepared to try to go back to finish my masters, since I'm showing I can write on schedule and actually produce at a reasonable pace again. It's still not certain, its still not finalized, but the fact I am even at this point at all... I got to thank all of you guys again. You lot have no idea how much y'all helped me in my fucked up journey in life.
I want to shout out @jreed12, @AustinP0027 @.HoshinoIchika, @WALDO, @Gadget, @Bigred1580 and everyone else in the Dallas LR for always believing in me, even when I had to take a mental health break early on when I hadn't fully established myself yet. I keep talking about how much I love Dallas and my time there, and I stand by it. I couldn't have been drafted into a better team. On the San Jose side, I want to shout out @RussDrivesTheBus for being much more accommodating than he needed to be in my transition into the ISFL proper. Hopefully, this season, you'll see the Yajin in full gear. If I don't get the DB record for most sacks and/or fumbles, then the sim hoed me. I want to also shout out all the friends I made talking on the rookie server, far too many to list, but the main reason why this community is so great is the people who make it up. And of course, the person I have to thank the most is my love of my life, @Butteryicarus. You give me reason to keep going every night. I love you so much.
Also I lost power writing this which is why it took so long to post this I am so sorry ;_;
![[Image: yw2OodS.png]](https://imgur.com/yw2OodS.png)
