With the grand return of the NCAA Football franchise, EA Sports established a thorough selection process to decide who would have the honor of being on the cover. They intended to find a player that embodied the spirit of collegiate football: teamwork, athleticism, and determination.
First, they took every NCAA player who moved onto the NSFL this season since it's far superior to the NFL, CFL, etc. They then invited all these players to a remote desert island, marooned them on different parts of the island with only a jug of water, a compass, a knife, and 10 feet of rope. The objective was to be the first player or players to successfully reach a luxury yacht moored 3 miles due south. Watching from afar they observed the players interacting with the environment and each other to achieve their goal. A large group of players banded together to create a large raft by chopping down trees, making their own rope, and such. When this group of players finally reached the yacht after hours of rowing and fighting the ocean currents they were surprised to see Blackford Oakes already lounging on deck with a drink in one hand and a bimbo by his side. Though those players tackled the task as the creators intended, Oakes had beat them through sheer laziness: he tried tying two logs that had fallen over together but it was too much work so he rolled one down to the beach and kicked his way to the yacht like a child on a kickboard.
Begrudgingly, EA Sports put his likeness on the cover.
First, they took every NCAA player who moved onto the NSFL this season since it's far superior to the NFL, CFL, etc. They then invited all these players to a remote desert island, marooned them on different parts of the island with only a jug of water, a compass, a knife, and 10 feet of rope. The objective was to be the first player or players to successfully reach a luxury yacht moored 3 miles due south. Watching from afar they observed the players interacting with the environment and each other to achieve their goal. A large group of players banded together to create a large raft by chopping down trees, making their own rope, and such. When this group of players finally reached the yacht after hours of rowing and fighting the ocean currents they were surprised to see Blackford Oakes already lounging on deck with a drink in one hand and a bimbo by his side. Though those players tackled the task as the creators intended, Oakes had beat them through sheer laziness: he tried tying two logs that had fallen over together but it was too much work so he rolled one down to the beach and kicked his way to the yacht like a child on a kickboard.
Begrudgingly, EA Sports put his likeness on the cover.
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266 words