11-18-2020, 01:09 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-21-2020, 06:04 AM by Asked Madden.)
It was a cold Saturday night when I walked into the Royals football stadium. I had seen a shadowy figure carrying a large sack walk into the stadium and decided to follow. It turns out that shadowy figure was none other than Mag, planting large seeds they had stuffed into a burlap sack. Upon discovery, Mag attempted to hide the sack behind them, but, due to the sack being twice the width of them, failed to hide the sack. Upon being questioned as to what they were doing, they said "y'know, nothing" and walked away casually, nonchalantly dragging behind them a large burlap sack of seeds. Before leaving, I decided to take one of the planted seeds back home for interrogation
Despite intense interrogation, the seed said nothing, possibly due to not having a mouth or vocal cords. I decided to ask around the league for some possible clues on the suspicious seed situation. All I received was one statement from an anonymous source, who stated "I support trees". After that failure, I decided to use my self-taught ninja moves to sneak into the Royals warroom, and I discovered there something odd. There was nothing. No scouting, no discussion on team needs, nothing except one single phrase: "follow the trees".
After that dead-end, I next researched Mag's past, which, as everyone knows, is top secret information. After days of tireless research, I came upon an astonishing discovery: If you remove the letters A and G from Mag's name, and add E, X, I, C, and O, you get "Mexico". This is no coincidence dear readers. Mag must be from Mexico. I then flew to Mexico and asked around if anyone had ever heard of Mag.
Unfortunately, due to the fact that I do not know Spanish, I had to guess what they were saying by trying to see if what they said sounded like an English word. I came upon a bakery, and upon entering I saw a word on a sign: "Magdalena". This must be the right place. After buying some delicious pastries and a blue gumball, I tried to connect the dots of mag's past. And then, I knew everything. I hadn't just bought some delicious food, I had also bought what shall lead me to the truth. I rushed home, and did the most scientific possible research: looking up the food I bought and seeing if any of them had any relation to Mag or a possible plant.
After hours and hours, I got to the final thing I bought: A sweet blue gumball. I had gone through every other possible sweet, and nothing worked. This had to work. And then, I found it: the sweet gum tree. The only question now is why? Why the hiding? why the planting of sweet gum trees, and why those trees specifically. I held an impromptu press conference to find out the answers. Mag, knowing they were know caught, revealed everything. "I've decided to create a team of all trees. No more players, no more training, just trees."
Everyone was shocked. Riots broke out in the streets, friends became enemies, enemies became friends, and the London Royals became the only tree-exclusive team in the league. Amidst all the chaos, I decided to get on top of a platform with my ISFL brand megaphone and shout my question: "Why those trees specifically?" Before Mag got last into chaos and the universe rips in twain, Mag managed to yell what may have been their final words: "I like those trees, they have pointy balls".
There you have it folks. My prediction for the next draft is the London Royals draft absolutely nobody. They will depend on the trees at every single position, and hope that the spiky balls will be enough to stop the opposing team.
(635 words)
Despite intense interrogation, the seed said nothing, possibly due to not having a mouth or vocal cords. I decided to ask around the league for some possible clues on the suspicious seed situation. All I received was one statement from an anonymous source, who stated "I support trees". After that failure, I decided to use my self-taught ninja moves to sneak into the Royals warroom, and I discovered there something odd. There was nothing. No scouting, no discussion on team needs, nothing except one single phrase: "follow the trees".
After that dead-end, I next researched Mag's past, which, as everyone knows, is top secret information. After days of tireless research, I came upon an astonishing discovery: If you remove the letters A and G from Mag's name, and add E, X, I, C, and O, you get "Mexico". This is no coincidence dear readers. Mag must be from Mexico. I then flew to Mexico and asked around if anyone had ever heard of Mag.
Unfortunately, due to the fact that I do not know Spanish, I had to guess what they were saying by trying to see if what they said sounded like an English word. I came upon a bakery, and upon entering I saw a word on a sign: "Magdalena". This must be the right place. After buying some delicious pastries and a blue gumball, I tried to connect the dots of mag's past. And then, I knew everything. I hadn't just bought some delicious food, I had also bought what shall lead me to the truth. I rushed home, and did the most scientific possible research: looking up the food I bought and seeing if any of them had any relation to Mag or a possible plant.
After hours and hours, I got to the final thing I bought: A sweet blue gumball. I had gone through every other possible sweet, and nothing worked. This had to work. And then, I found it: the sweet gum tree. The only question now is why? Why the hiding? why the planting of sweet gum trees, and why those trees specifically. I held an impromptu press conference to find out the answers. Mag, knowing they were know caught, revealed everything. "I've decided to create a team of all trees. No more players, no more training, just trees."
Everyone was shocked. Riots broke out in the streets, friends became enemies, enemies became friends, and the London Royals became the only tree-exclusive team in the league. Amidst all the chaos, I decided to get on top of a platform with my ISFL brand megaphone and shout my question: "Why those trees specifically?" Before Mag got last into chaos and the universe rips in twain, Mag managed to yell what may have been their final words: "I like those trees, they have pointy balls".
There you have it folks. My prediction for the next draft is the London Royals draft absolutely nobody. They will depend on the trees at every single position, and hope that the spiky balls will be enough to stop the opposing team.
(635 words)