Hey all! This is my first large media post/series so bear with me.
In this series I will be simulating a mascot march madness, where I assign seeds and create a march madness tournament for all 22 teams. This will be a several post series with one post per round with a play by play of the showdown between the two mascots.
This simulation will take place through arbitrarily assigned probabilities for each team to win each matchup through my obviously infallible judgement. These probabilities will change through each round and matchup depending on several factors.
1. The location of the matchup will be in the environment of the higher seed. If two of the same seeds face off, it will take place in a randomized location between a river, a forest, a quiet suburb, and an arid desert.
For example, the matchup between Baltimore Hawks and the Honolulu Halaluha will take place off the coast off Hawaii.
2. Any pre-existing relationship or history between the two, such as the Birddogs having an innate advantage against birds.
3. My arbitrary judgement
4. Any wounds inflicted during the fight will carry on through to the next fight. Each fight will be back to back.
This post will essentially be the “Selection Sunday” post. I will go through each team and explain why they got their seeding
6. Fire Salamanders
This mascot was interesting to rank because it could be taken two separate ways. The most logical thing is the small amphibian that many of us have problem seen before, either in person or online. The other way is the salamander of myth and fantasy. I chose to take this the most literal way possible and this mascot will be represented by the real life fire salamander. Measuring only a few inches long, its diet includes insects, worms, slugs and occasionally young frogs. While this animal makes an awesome mascot, it is not terribly fearsome on the battlefield, earning it the 6 seed.
6. Grey Ducks
They are several “Grey” duck species, and several duck species in Minnesota, but they are all pretty similar so it is not necessary to pick a certain species. This actually is a large step up from the fire salamanders, but it still pales in comparison to the rest of the mascots. Weighing only a couple pounds, most ducks feed on worms, snails, and small fish. Some also eat aquatic plants. Again, another good mascot but not a great contender.
5. Hawks
This is where the power level of the mascots really steps up. This is the first real predator on the list and is a fearsome one at that. Hawks are extremely deadly to their prey which includes small animals such as snakes, lizards, fish, mice, rabbits, etc. They are well known for their talons which it uses to pick up small animals and kill them either with the talons or with their also incredibly sharp beak. Most hawks weigh only a few pounds, but can have a wingspan of over four feet. This mascot is sure to be a glass cannon and should probably be one of the popular sleeper picks in this tournament. If the hawk plays its cards right, it could absolutely beat higher seeded foes.
5. Liberty
Liberty can be taken a couple different ways. The mascot itself is the Liberty Bell, but it also portrays the idea of liberty, an incorporeal idea. An idea / civil right holds absolutely zero sway on the battlefield, but liberty is given the benefit of the doubt and their mascot is taken to be the liberty bell itself. Liberty is given the five seed because it is this great immovable object that can hold up to some wear and tear but it really does absolutely nothing. It also already has a large crack on it which shows some weakness and it could also easily be tarnished or vandalized by any of the human competitors in this tournament.
5. Otters
My vote for the cutest mascot in the tournament. The North American River Otter weighs anywhere between 11 – 30 pounds, and its diet consists of various amphibians, snails, mussels, and crayfish. River otters are very active predators and hunt in water mainly and deliver quick, vicious strikes. While one of my favorite mascots, I really don’t think it will hold up well against some of the other competitors like a lion or any of the human competitors.
5. Copperheads
A common North American snake ranging from 20-37 inches long, averaging at about 25. Its diet consists of small rodents like mice and voles, and it also eats insects and frogs. The main feature of this mascot will be its defense. It may not be able to strike down a birddog or a human, but it can absolutely fend them off with its quick strike and venomous bite. This is also a dangerous mascot to face in the early rounds because if it gets a bite off, the venom may set in and affect the winners ability in further battles. While I don’t think this wins in a direct fight to the death against many mascots, it can absolutely drive some off, which is what this tournament is.
4. Birddogs
A large size upgrade over the mascots so far, this mascot looks like a springer spaniel to me so that’s what I’m going to take it as. Springer spaniels have an amazing nose and can track down anything that it is up against. This is partly what makes it a great hunting dog, along with it’s intelligence. They weigh between 40 to 60 pounds and are very spry and agile. Although his may be a very friendly dog, it still has amazing hunting skills and may be fearsome to face.
4. Hahalua
Hahalua is a Hawaiian word for manta ray. This is one of our biggest competitors, reaching 23 feet in width, and weighing up to 3000 pounds. Talk about a size upgrade. What this giant has in size, it lacks in ferocity. They do not possess a stinger like their sting ray cousins and are mostly filter feeders. They consume zooplankton, krill, and can sometime consume small fish. This mascot’s main attribute is its sheer size. It may not kill its competitor but it can win through just sheer indifference to its attacker. It would most likely escape from most things in the tournament but that also means that it would lose. This animal will not have a tendency to fight back.
4. Pythons
To give the pythons a fighting chance in the tournament (not biased at all), I have interpreted them to be Burmese pythons. These pythons typically grow to 16 ft and weight about 90 pounds. Its diet mostly consists of birds and various sized mammals. Pythons are extremely muscular and kill their prey by wrapping their body around the prey while contracting its muscles. This will break bones and eventually suffocate the victim. Burmese pythons are also incredible swimmers and can stay submerged for 30 minutes. This mascot can absolutely dominate some of the other competitors around it or below its seed, although it may have trouble against higher seeds with equipment or that rival it in size. It also has a disadvantage if it manages to win the first round, because it will most likely consume its prey, making it sluggish and not as ready for combat.
4. Coyotes
A small canine weighing between 15-45 pounds, coyotes are widespread across North America. Their diet consists of deer, rabbits, hares, rodents, etc. Much like the birddog, this mascot will have more of a chance against the lower seeds but not as much against the higher ones. The coyote also has a disadvantage because coyotes are pack hunters, making a lone coyote much less effective.
3. Luchadores
The first of the human competitors, the luchador, also known as lucha libre wrestlers, is a wrestler in the style of Mexican professional wrestling. They specialize in rapid holds and maneuvers, especially those that use the rope. This use of the rope will give the luchador a special advantage in its home territory, the wrestling ring. Luchadores are most well known for their use of stylish masks. Luchadores are experts in hand to hand combat but may come up short against other mascots better equipped than them.
3. Butchers
Butchering is a profession amongst humans that involves slaughtering animals, dressing their flesh, and selling their meat. A butcher will have an innate advantage against smaller animals than it, and also comes with their main equipment, a cleaver. Without this cleaver, the butcher would largely be ineffective but this dangerous weapon makes them much more fearsome on the battlefield.
3. Sailfish
A large fish reaching up to 10 feet in length and can reach a maximum swimming speed of 78 mph. They can weigh up to 200 pounds. This is a large amount of force to come slamming into you, especially if centered on the sword-like bill. They are much lighter than their swordfish cousins but there is still impressive equipment on this weaponized missile of a fish. If any of the other mascots find themselves in the sailfish’s home environment, they are definitely in trouble if they are not adapted to water.
3. Outlaws
Based off of the logo, I’m going to say that this is a late 1800’s type outlaw. This mascot’s signature equipment is going to be a Colt Single Action Army revolver. This was the standard military service revolver from 1872 until 1892, therefore it would have been pretty prevalent. This mascot gets an advantage against the other humans based off of its weaponry alone, giving it a huge ranged advantage. If the outlaw can be accurate in its shots, it can take down many of the other competitors in this tournament.
2. Buccaneers
This human is going to come with a cutlass and an old flintlock pistol. This is pretty much on the same tier as the outlaw but it gets a slight upgrade because of the buccaneer’s added proficiency in hand to hand combat. They also have added knowledge of the ocean and so will have an advantage in water.
2. Sabercats
A large, extinct, predator the sabretooth’s diet consisted of other large mammals of its era. The sabretooth cat has been hypothesized to have the long saber teeth to cut deeper into the soft tissues of their prey like the belly and the throat. This is truly an apex predator and honestly should not have much trouble getting far into his tournament. Anything less would be a disappointment to the sabercat fans out there. Interestingly, saber tooth cats are actually not closely related to modern cats!
2. Silverbacks
Gorillas can weigh up to 500 pounds and stand almost up to 6 feet tall in rare cases. Their diet consists of foliage like leaves, stems, and shoots. Gorillas have two main advantages against other competitors, their strength, and their intelligence. Gorillas have the strength and tenacity to power through most other competitors and have the intelligence to use the battlefield around them to their advantage.
2. SecondLine
This is the mascot that I actually had not heard of at all, so it took a bit of research. The Second Line is a tradition of parades in New Orleans focusing on music, dance, and engaging in community. The reason that this mascot is ranked so highly is because of the sheer number of humans that this parade will possess. This will give it the advantage against most things that the crowd thinks that it can take, although the crowd will definitely be prone to fleeing against dangerous threats like a lion or a yeti. While the crowd could probably beat a lion down with sheer numbers, they would be more likely to flee the battlefield before losing some of their own.
1. Seawolves
The one seeds. This is where some of the true powerhouses lie. So, based off of the logo, a seawolf is a literal submarine. How is this far? Well, its really not. A seawolf has such a large advantage against pretty much every other competitor in the field because of the manpower, equipment, and weaponry involved. This mascot can fight in the water or can deploy humans to land or just attack from the water. This is as complete of a mascot that you can ask for.
1. Yeti
The Yeti is a mythical being of untold strength. It lives in a completely inhospitable environment so it gets an incredible advantage against other competitors that are forced to fight in its domain. This really is a wildcard of a mascot because being a mythical being, no one really knows how much power and strength lie within this being. There is no visible ceiling on this creature’s power, but it is easy to see that it has a very high floor.
1. Royals
The last all natural and living mascot, the lion is called the king of the jungle for a reason. They are typically 72-82 inches long and can weigh up to 500 pounds. This mascot certainly has the regal aura of its namesake. Lions are an apex predator and hunt wildebeest, zebra, and buffalo. While the typical male lion may not have as much experience hunting as the female lions, a lion that is the leader of a pride will have plenty of experience in 1v1 duels against other male lions looking to challenge their leadership. This gives them a huge advantage in this tournament because they have experience in this exact sort of scenario.
1. Wraiths
This is another wildcard. There are many unknowns with this mascot like what actually is a wraith? What can they do to harm the living? Are they even able to be defeated? These questions we really can’t answer and just by the sheer nature of that, the wraiths earn the 1 seed. This mascot will have an innate advantage against humans and human creations, but their effect on animals is yet to be seen.
![[Image: MAScot.png]](https://i.ibb.co/Vt3WMCY/MAScot.png)
Apologies for any errors I have made like typos or issues y’all have with my decisions. This was my first big media post and I had a lot of fun!
2372 words
In this series I will be simulating a mascot march madness, where I assign seeds and create a march madness tournament for all 22 teams. This will be a several post series with one post per round with a play by play of the showdown between the two mascots.
This simulation will take place through arbitrarily assigned probabilities for each team to win each matchup through my obviously infallible judgement. These probabilities will change through each round and matchup depending on several factors.
1. The location of the matchup will be in the environment of the higher seed. If two of the same seeds face off, it will take place in a randomized location between a river, a forest, a quiet suburb, and an arid desert.
For example, the matchup between Baltimore Hawks and the Honolulu Halaluha will take place off the coast off Hawaii.
2. Any pre-existing relationship or history between the two, such as the Birddogs having an innate advantage against birds.
3. My arbitrary judgement
4. Any wounds inflicted during the fight will carry on through to the next fight. Each fight will be back to back.
This post will essentially be the “Selection Sunday” post. I will go through each team and explain why they got their seeding
6. Fire Salamanders
This mascot was interesting to rank because it could be taken two separate ways. The most logical thing is the small amphibian that many of us have problem seen before, either in person or online. The other way is the salamander of myth and fantasy. I chose to take this the most literal way possible and this mascot will be represented by the real life fire salamander. Measuring only a few inches long, its diet includes insects, worms, slugs and occasionally young frogs. While this animal makes an awesome mascot, it is not terribly fearsome on the battlefield, earning it the 6 seed.
6. Grey Ducks
They are several “Grey” duck species, and several duck species in Minnesota, but they are all pretty similar so it is not necessary to pick a certain species. This actually is a large step up from the fire salamanders, but it still pales in comparison to the rest of the mascots. Weighing only a couple pounds, most ducks feed on worms, snails, and small fish. Some also eat aquatic plants. Again, another good mascot but not a great contender.
5. Hawks
This is where the power level of the mascots really steps up. This is the first real predator on the list and is a fearsome one at that. Hawks are extremely deadly to their prey which includes small animals such as snakes, lizards, fish, mice, rabbits, etc. They are well known for their talons which it uses to pick up small animals and kill them either with the talons or with their also incredibly sharp beak. Most hawks weigh only a few pounds, but can have a wingspan of over four feet. This mascot is sure to be a glass cannon and should probably be one of the popular sleeper picks in this tournament. If the hawk plays its cards right, it could absolutely beat higher seeded foes.
5. Liberty
Liberty can be taken a couple different ways. The mascot itself is the Liberty Bell, but it also portrays the idea of liberty, an incorporeal idea. An idea / civil right holds absolutely zero sway on the battlefield, but liberty is given the benefit of the doubt and their mascot is taken to be the liberty bell itself. Liberty is given the five seed because it is this great immovable object that can hold up to some wear and tear but it really does absolutely nothing. It also already has a large crack on it which shows some weakness and it could also easily be tarnished or vandalized by any of the human competitors in this tournament.
5. Otters
My vote for the cutest mascot in the tournament. The North American River Otter weighs anywhere between 11 – 30 pounds, and its diet consists of various amphibians, snails, mussels, and crayfish. River otters are very active predators and hunt in water mainly and deliver quick, vicious strikes. While one of my favorite mascots, I really don’t think it will hold up well against some of the other competitors like a lion or any of the human competitors.
5. Copperheads
A common North American snake ranging from 20-37 inches long, averaging at about 25. Its diet consists of small rodents like mice and voles, and it also eats insects and frogs. The main feature of this mascot will be its defense. It may not be able to strike down a birddog or a human, but it can absolutely fend them off with its quick strike and venomous bite. This is also a dangerous mascot to face in the early rounds because if it gets a bite off, the venom may set in and affect the winners ability in further battles. While I don’t think this wins in a direct fight to the death against many mascots, it can absolutely drive some off, which is what this tournament is.
4. Birddogs
A large size upgrade over the mascots so far, this mascot looks like a springer spaniel to me so that’s what I’m going to take it as. Springer spaniels have an amazing nose and can track down anything that it is up against. This is partly what makes it a great hunting dog, along with it’s intelligence. They weigh between 40 to 60 pounds and are very spry and agile. Although his may be a very friendly dog, it still has amazing hunting skills and may be fearsome to face.
4. Hahalua
Hahalua is a Hawaiian word for manta ray. This is one of our biggest competitors, reaching 23 feet in width, and weighing up to 3000 pounds. Talk about a size upgrade. What this giant has in size, it lacks in ferocity. They do not possess a stinger like their sting ray cousins and are mostly filter feeders. They consume zooplankton, krill, and can sometime consume small fish. This mascot’s main attribute is its sheer size. It may not kill its competitor but it can win through just sheer indifference to its attacker. It would most likely escape from most things in the tournament but that also means that it would lose. This animal will not have a tendency to fight back.
4. Pythons
To give the pythons a fighting chance in the tournament (not biased at all), I have interpreted them to be Burmese pythons. These pythons typically grow to 16 ft and weight about 90 pounds. Its diet mostly consists of birds and various sized mammals. Pythons are extremely muscular and kill their prey by wrapping their body around the prey while contracting its muscles. This will break bones and eventually suffocate the victim. Burmese pythons are also incredible swimmers and can stay submerged for 30 minutes. This mascot can absolutely dominate some of the other competitors around it or below its seed, although it may have trouble against higher seeds with equipment or that rival it in size. It also has a disadvantage if it manages to win the first round, because it will most likely consume its prey, making it sluggish and not as ready for combat.
4. Coyotes
A small canine weighing between 15-45 pounds, coyotes are widespread across North America. Their diet consists of deer, rabbits, hares, rodents, etc. Much like the birddog, this mascot will have more of a chance against the lower seeds but not as much against the higher ones. The coyote also has a disadvantage because coyotes are pack hunters, making a lone coyote much less effective.
3. Luchadores
The first of the human competitors, the luchador, also known as lucha libre wrestlers, is a wrestler in the style of Mexican professional wrestling. They specialize in rapid holds and maneuvers, especially those that use the rope. This use of the rope will give the luchador a special advantage in its home territory, the wrestling ring. Luchadores are most well known for their use of stylish masks. Luchadores are experts in hand to hand combat but may come up short against other mascots better equipped than them.
3. Butchers
Butchering is a profession amongst humans that involves slaughtering animals, dressing their flesh, and selling their meat. A butcher will have an innate advantage against smaller animals than it, and also comes with their main equipment, a cleaver. Without this cleaver, the butcher would largely be ineffective but this dangerous weapon makes them much more fearsome on the battlefield.
3. Sailfish
A large fish reaching up to 10 feet in length and can reach a maximum swimming speed of 78 mph. They can weigh up to 200 pounds. This is a large amount of force to come slamming into you, especially if centered on the sword-like bill. They are much lighter than their swordfish cousins but there is still impressive equipment on this weaponized missile of a fish. If any of the other mascots find themselves in the sailfish’s home environment, they are definitely in trouble if they are not adapted to water.
3. Outlaws
Based off of the logo, I’m going to say that this is a late 1800’s type outlaw. This mascot’s signature equipment is going to be a Colt Single Action Army revolver. This was the standard military service revolver from 1872 until 1892, therefore it would have been pretty prevalent. This mascot gets an advantage against the other humans based off of its weaponry alone, giving it a huge ranged advantage. If the outlaw can be accurate in its shots, it can take down many of the other competitors in this tournament.
2. Buccaneers
This human is going to come with a cutlass and an old flintlock pistol. This is pretty much on the same tier as the outlaw but it gets a slight upgrade because of the buccaneer’s added proficiency in hand to hand combat. They also have added knowledge of the ocean and so will have an advantage in water.
2. Sabercats
A large, extinct, predator the sabretooth’s diet consisted of other large mammals of its era. The sabretooth cat has been hypothesized to have the long saber teeth to cut deeper into the soft tissues of their prey like the belly and the throat. This is truly an apex predator and honestly should not have much trouble getting far into his tournament. Anything less would be a disappointment to the sabercat fans out there. Interestingly, saber tooth cats are actually not closely related to modern cats!
2. Silverbacks
Gorillas can weigh up to 500 pounds and stand almost up to 6 feet tall in rare cases. Their diet consists of foliage like leaves, stems, and shoots. Gorillas have two main advantages against other competitors, their strength, and their intelligence. Gorillas have the strength and tenacity to power through most other competitors and have the intelligence to use the battlefield around them to their advantage.
2. SecondLine
This is the mascot that I actually had not heard of at all, so it took a bit of research. The Second Line is a tradition of parades in New Orleans focusing on music, dance, and engaging in community. The reason that this mascot is ranked so highly is because of the sheer number of humans that this parade will possess. This will give it the advantage against most things that the crowd thinks that it can take, although the crowd will definitely be prone to fleeing against dangerous threats like a lion or a yeti. While the crowd could probably beat a lion down with sheer numbers, they would be more likely to flee the battlefield before losing some of their own.
1. Seawolves
The one seeds. This is where some of the true powerhouses lie. So, based off of the logo, a seawolf is a literal submarine. How is this far? Well, its really not. A seawolf has such a large advantage against pretty much every other competitor in the field because of the manpower, equipment, and weaponry involved. This mascot can fight in the water or can deploy humans to land or just attack from the water. This is as complete of a mascot that you can ask for.
1. Yeti
The Yeti is a mythical being of untold strength. It lives in a completely inhospitable environment so it gets an incredible advantage against other competitors that are forced to fight in its domain. This really is a wildcard of a mascot because being a mythical being, no one really knows how much power and strength lie within this being. There is no visible ceiling on this creature’s power, but it is easy to see that it has a very high floor.
1. Royals
The last all natural and living mascot, the lion is called the king of the jungle for a reason. They are typically 72-82 inches long and can weigh up to 500 pounds. This mascot certainly has the regal aura of its namesake. Lions are an apex predator and hunt wildebeest, zebra, and buffalo. While the typical male lion may not have as much experience hunting as the female lions, a lion that is the leader of a pride will have plenty of experience in 1v1 duels against other male lions looking to challenge their leadership. This gives them a huge advantage in this tournament because they have experience in this exact sort of scenario.
1. Wraiths
This is another wildcard. There are many unknowns with this mascot like what actually is a wraith? What can they do to harm the living? Are they even able to be defeated? These questions we really can’t answer and just by the sheer nature of that, the wraiths earn the 1 seed. This mascot will have an innate advantage against humans and human creations, but their effect on animals is yet to be seen.
Apologies for any errors I have made like typos or issues y’all have with my decisions. This was my first big media post and I had a lot of fun!
2372 words
![[Image: 36.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/bwgzdbjD/36.png)
