(S45) Offseason Task

[IHateBobNutting]

10.

The biggest issue with football is how offense friendly it has become. You can't touch the quarterback or the wide receivers. First I would change the rules for roughing the passer. It seems that any time someone touches a quarterback they are called for roughing the passer. Unless it is a clearly late hit or helmet to helmet there should not be a penalty. In addition, we need to go back to the early 70s for wide receiver rules. This rule about cornerbacks only having 5 yards to make contact with receivers is ridiculous. If you can't break free from the cornerback then play a different position. In addition, offensive pass interference is rarely called and defensive pass interference is called way too much. If it were accurate, there would be an even amount of offensive and defensive pass interference calls. Additionally, the league has become far too pass heavy. Running backs should be paid far more than quarterbacks or wide receivers. Of course defensive players should be paid more than offensive players as they are more important. Additionally, I would change the schedule to 17 games to make it match the NFL. I would move all unamerican teams to American cities. Football as everyone knows is American. And as everyone knows America is the best country in the world. Cape Town would be moved to New York because New York is clearly the most American city in the world. Berlin would be moved to Los Angeles as Los Angeles is the second most American city in the world. Obviously Yellowknife would have to move as Canada is the most unamerican country. Yellowknife would move to Detroit which is a very American city. The final thing I would do is add a bye week to reduce fatigue. The lack of a bye week is a major issue in the ISFL.

11.
Bubba Hog was born to play football. He was 16 pounds at birth. He was 200 pounds by the age of 10. He was always a football fan. Even as a child growing up in McAllen, Texas. There wasn't team in McAllen but he was a major fan of the New Orleans Secondline. He was shocked when he got drafted in the first round. Sure he had broken every sack and tackle record in the NCAA but considering that he played in D-3 he figured that at best he would be a second round pick. When he got the phone call he was the happiest he had every been in his life. He definitely did not expect to start his rookie year. Even more so he didn't expect to have as much playing time as he got. Of course if you had asked him, he would have told you what he was capable of. He was the true rookie of the year even though a non-rookie was given the award, everyone knew that he deserved the award. Bubba said that the hardest thing to adjust to from the NCAA to the DSFL was the change in the speed of the game and that was the same for the change from the DSFL to the ISFL. Bubba has proven that he is a first round talent through the first two years of his career. He got even better his second year which many thought was not possible. Who knows how well he will do in his third year. The sky is the limit. The other thing that Bubba has had to get used to is the fame. In D-3, he was only known by people on campus. In the DSFL, there were a few fans but nothing like what he has experienced since joining the ISFL.

[ScrambledEggs]

15. If you could create a team using any active players in the league, what would that team look like? Would you build a group of all-stars to contend in the next Ultimus, or a team full of jokesters for the fun of it? Describe the roster and why you chose the players you did. (Written or Graphic Task)

As a self-proclaimed funny guy, if I could create a team using any active player in the league, I'd only use players with the funniest names possible, because of course I would. I am predictable. For reasons, I will only use players in the ISFL, so even though there's a wide receiver on the Royals literally named A Waffle, I unfortunately won't be considering him. I'll be using the same roster limitations I've had in fantasy. First of all, my QB. I am considering two quarterbacks in particular, being Colorado's Wolfie McDummy Jr. and my Sailfish's Willier Miller. Chicago's Painted Penguin who welcomed me to the league and was one of my teammates in Minnesota would be an alright option but the former two's names are funnier. I'll go with Wolfie McDummy Jr. because "McDummy" is such a ridiculous surname and I can't help but love it. Next, my team's running backs would be Kumquat Archipelago and Pete Zuh. Kumquat Archipelago is just such an unfortunate name and I do love me some pizza. Next up, my two wide receivers shall be Really Creative-Name and "Captain" Billy Stinkwater. I'm sorry but Really Creative-Name is such an amazing name in my opinion. And Stinkwater. Just look at that name. My tight end would be Bread Bowl because I need a player to hold my bread. Now there are plenty of good OL names, like Zisia Ojeisndiwoseodj, whose name I can't describe or comprehend at all. My kicker will be Bob Kickerson, look at that name, he was born to be a kicker! For my defensive lineman, I'll choose Ronald McDonald, who's really moved up. He went from the mascot of one of the most recognizable companies in the world to a professional football player, how nice! As much as I'd love to put my player, King Dedede, at linebacker, King Dedede is not the funniest name. Instead, I'll choose RE #38. And finally, my defensive back. I'll go with Yellowknife safety Sam Sung, maybe he'll give me a free phone if I give him a spot on the team.

[Ultimatedestroye]

13. Bruce White is one of the many standouts from the s41 class. He was drafted 6OA by the New Orleans Second Line and is one of my compatriots there. Bruce is one of the key stars in the New Orleans Second Line defensive line here and is one of the key building blocks in the team. He is one of 3 players in the New Orleans Second Line who have cracked the 1000 TPE barrier (along with Ezra Azazel and Kyle Crane), and with the TPE comes star abilities. Being a speed rusher, he has 95 agility, 85 speed, 85 strength, and 80 speed as his top and key attributes. He also has the traits of Speed Rusher and Perceptive, which makes him a lethal threat to Offensive Linemen and Quarterbacks. Bruce had a breakout season this year, drastically improving in almost every counting stat imaginable. He had 62 tackles (above his 39 from last year), 7 Tackles for loss (down from 8 last season), only 2 missed tackles (Down from 8 missed last season), 3 forced fumbles, and 2 fumble recoveries (Up from 0 in both stats from last season), and a whopping 15 sacks (up from 9 last season). On the defensive line across the entire league, he led in sacks and led defensive ends in terms of tackles and tackles for loss. He was such a standout across the entire league and on the New Orleans Second Line, he was nominated both for Defensive Player of the Year and Most Valuable Player! Toofpete, the user behind Bruce White, was also named the new GM for the New Orleans Second Line this year, marking a stark point in the team's history. Bruce is absolutely one of the best players to work with in the league on the field, and Toofpete is one of the best guys in the league to work with off the field

17. After a Raucous Ultimini win, the MVP, C.G Breezy Jr. was headed off to Disney land to party as only a Luchadore could. We gave him an all-access all expensive paid trip, and it was for a whole week. First off is the airfare, and boy did we go all out for our boy. We got him a chartered flight for him and his family to Orlando. Once he got there, we put him up in one of the fancier parts of the Disney hotels. He started off by enjoying all the rides in the Magic Kingdom, and boy did he enjoy it, fast pass and all. He also had many delectable treats like cotton candy and Mickey Mouse-shaped ice cream. Then he went to the Animal Kingdom to get all of the shows out of the way and then went to Epcot for a day of fun and drinking (looking at you, Germany), then he finished out on Planet Hollywood.

22. Kit Fisto is a Running Back (Receiving Back for an archetype), from the Jedi Temple, born and raised in Glee Anselm. He is a killer tailback, tracking in 578 rushing yards, averaging 5.3 yards a carry, and rushing for 4 touchdowns, He was also a dual threat, catching 44 catches for 323 yards, for 2 touchdowns. He also had 12 pancakes with 0 sacks allowed. In terms of TPE, he has 370 TPE, which is currently capped at 250 TPE, which is distributed into having, most notably, 85 speed, 75 Agility, 70 Hands, and 60 endurance. He also is a great guy in the locker room, always hyped up for the upcoming game and the season as a whole. He is a max-earning workhorse and will be a future asset to any team, and will also be a future Hall of Famer, so I give my wholehearted recommendation to any team willing to draft or trade for this stud of a player

[shadyshoelace]

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16. Describe your player and/or team’s journey through this latest season. What were the highlights? What were the lower points? What might you have done differently? What are your expectations for next season?

Lenard McRobinson just completed his second season in the DSFL as a member of the Kansas City Coyotes, and his first since finding out which team he'll be joining for his big league career when the time comes - the Honolulu Hahalua. While getting to watch Honolulu put together a stellar campaign that included winning the ASFC and the Ultimus, things didn't go quite as smoothly for Lenard and the Coyotes. The team entered the year with memories of a 5-8-1 season and first round playoff loss in the rearview mirror and were eager for another attempt to do big things - both as a team, and individually for Lenard. Things looked good in week one, as Kansas City defeated the London Royals in a close 27-24 affair that saw McRobinson rush for 108 yards and two touchdowns. Through four games, the team found itself 3-1 with convincing blowout victoires against the Minnesota Grey Ducks and Norfolk Seawolves, the latter match which created a Performance of the Year candidate with running back Anakin Skywalker's 207 yard, 4 TD outing. However, things started to sputter after that. The Coyotes found themselves on a six game losing streak that put them behind where they wanted to be in the playoff picture. However, the team rallied as the season drew to a close, finishing in appropriately symmetrical form by ending the year on another 3-1 run. The 6-8 record was nominally an improvement on the previous season, but it wasn't satisfying for Lenard and the team without a playoff win under their belt. Unfortunately, once again this was not to be as the team lost a 30-6 game against the eventual Ultimini champion Portland Pythons. While many members of the team will certainly move up to join the ISFL ranks next season, Lenard knows he'll get at least one more shot at building a legacy in Kansas City next year.

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28. Football is a game that has been going on for a while, loved by fans all over. But what if you were able to make some rule changes? Talk us through your new version of football, and what would be different and why?

While football is a storied sport with over a century of history and many phases of evolution and innovation in how the game is approached by teams and their players, I don't believe that the game has yet reached its apex as a contest of skill. Right now, there are far too many human errors in the mix to create a truly beautiful game - referees that make mistakes and turn games on their heads, for instance. If I were able to contribute new rules to move the sport forward into a brighter tomorrow, I would first start by eliminating the most fallible of human elements at play: the head coaches. Instead of a burly man in a quarter zip, teams should be coached by analytically inclined artificial intelligences who will not make silly decisions like punting on fourth and short in opponent territory or giving the kicker a second shot by attempting to "ice him" in a critical moment. Our robot overlords will usher in a new era of prosperity and efficiency for football.

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29. What team do you think has the best branding in the league? Why?

There are many good brands in the ISFL, and I've written about many of them at length in the past. There are also some head-scratching brands who were either created long ago by esteemed league pioneers who were not very good at designing teams, or rebranded by modern day league leaders who are also sometimes bad at the task. One team that I think deserves a mention as a particularly strong brand is the Honolulu Hahalua, and not just because I'm now a member of said team. The location is great - it expands the boundaries of the league outside of the traditional North American cities frequently used in other sports while remaining logistically plausible (if we assume travel isn't too much of an issue). The colors are bold and work beautifully together. The nickname is very unique, yet rolls off the tongue nicely and is a great nod to the location. And finally, the logo manages to look polished and professional without being aggressively stylized. Overall, it's an exceptional brand that I'm delighted for the opportunity to play under.

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[18situaseans]

2) The S41 Draft Class was something special, and it was the draft class I was a part of. All draftees in that class that were max earners are now just over 1000 TPE in their careers and starting to see a lot of production in their ISFL careers. Let’s go over some of the big names that I remember and if they are still earning today. First off, Mary Marie, Safety who played for the Bondi Beach Buccaneers. Mary was picked 2nd overall but 1st overall in the DSFL Draft. Mary now GMs for Colorado and has had a successful ISFL career as they have max earned to this day. The first overall pick in the S41 ISFL Draft was Dub Redd, my NYS teammate. Wizard is an outstanding GM here in New York, and has max earned ever since joining the league. Another big name who made a lot of noise in the DSFL, Bruce White. User Toofpete does a podcast with TheRake which I used to listen to every Sunday night or Monday morning. Bruce had lots of hype around his name towards the end of the S40 DSFL season where he tied the Portland Pythons all time sack record (or was it DSFL record, I’m not sure). He went on to get drafted by the New Orleans Second Line in the early first round, and has been a max earner ever since. He was even recently named one of their new GMs. When you have Toofpete, you also need a TheRake. Rico Savage was taken a few picks after Bruce in the first round, but hasn’t been any worse with earning TPE. Rico is playing very well on the Chicago Butchers and looks to be their safety of the future. Some other big names are Loose Cannon, the highest TPE earner in the S41 class who is nearly 100 TPE above me, even tho I’m close to max earning. Sheesh. 3 really good buddies of mine in S41, Legs McMillion, Benji Aguilera, and Ray Baker have all done great things. Legs is the GM of the Norfolk Seawolves and is becoming one of the top corners in the league for the Crash. Benji Aguilera is playing WR for the Arizona Outlaws and has assumed the WR1 role there. Ray Baker has been nothing but spectacular for Honolulu as he posted an insane statline in their Ultimus win. Those are the big names that come off the top of my head, but there are many more outstanding S41 guys out there, like Rolund Onyxgut. User Crash is in my fantasy group, and it’s great to see them as we hadn’t really talked since S41. The class is truly something. My NYS teammate, The Riddler, was taken just 4 picks after me, at pick 38. He still manages to almost max earn even with being as late of a pick as that, it shows how deep this class was. WR Emile Charles, user eightytwo, has been a great offensive piece for Berlin and is max earning. Eightytwo also did my sig and it’s beautiful. Max Honestly was taken in the early first round by the Sailfish, and was switched to LB. He is now one of the top LBs in the league for Sarasota, and is proving to be a great pick as he max earns. Many of the defensive players in this draft are getting their shine right now, while some of the offensive players are having to wait a little longer it seems. Benjamin Duvernay of the Arizona Outlaws was also a great selection as they got outstanding value quite later in the draft. Duvernay has turned out to be great DB in the league and is max earning. Overall, the S41 Draft Class was one of, if not, the biggest and most successful classes in ISFL history. Many users joined on the Reddit post, but I didn’t because I’m sean. Now, 10 TPE please.

[TomHanks]

With the first overall pick in my draft, thewhovian, Doctor Who was drafted to the Chicago Butchers. A team that has needs all over the field selects a game wrecking defensive end who will surely cause opposing quarterbacks to lose sleep the night before a game. An alien from the planet Galifrey who seems to always come out on top even from the most dire of situations is exactly what the doctor ordered for a team that struggled getting to the quarterback last year. His improvisational ability will mean no matter how much study is done in the film room, he'll be able to surprise offensive tackles.

With the second overall pick, the New Orleans Second Line drafted the safety born in 1891, Paul Edgecomb. Edgecomb showed that his old age hasn't slowed him down one bit in the DSFL this season, and showed his versatility in the secondary playing at safety and cornerback. Edgecomb will return to London once more in the hopes of an Ultimini, but after that it will be a return to New Orleans for user TomHanks, and a new start for Edgecomb. He looks to bring speed and agility to a New Orleans secondary which had struggled last season. New free agents will be the focal point in getting stars, but long term Edgecomb hopes to be a staple for the New Orleans defence.

With the third overall pick, the San Jose Sabercats chose the first of the very talented running backs in this class, and brought in Kit Fisto out of Tijuana. Jointly top of the class in TPE and a position of need for the roster, this selection is a match made in heaven. This versatile weapon will be able to be a reliable ballcarrier, and be a consistent outlet weapon for the young quaterback Josh Patterson. Any roster can use an option like that in their offence, and San Jose will be very happy with their new addition.

Immediately following the Kit Fisto selection, the second star running back in this class flies off the board, Hercules Henry. A very different style of running back, Henry will run down defences with his strength, tiring them out. He has the endurance to keep going after they've been worn down too. This is the sort of player who will improve as the game goes on, and grind out the tough yards throughout. Look no further if you need an option on the goal line. This is a special player who will truck through any defensive front to find paydirt. A Colorado legend as user as well, and a fantastic pick.

The fifth overall selection is yet another league legend, former Commissioner bex, Siri Kjellstrom. Siri is a hard hitting linebacker who will not be slowed down once she has a full head of steam. She was a menace to opposing defences in the DSFL, making 98 tackles, 15 for loss, 3 forced fumbles and a recovery, 11 sacks, and 6 PDs. As a rookie playing for the Bondi Beach Buccanneers, Siri struck fear into the hearts of the DSFL. On an Orange County defence that has struggled to get to the quarterback, Siri should provide some much needed pressure, as well provide terrific run stopping ability.

With the sixth overall draft pick, the Yellowknife Wraiths select the first defensive tackle off the board, Emerson Biggums of the Tijuana Luchadores. An immediate call up to the Wraiths, Biggums looks to make an instant impact on the defensive line. Biggums is a great combination of strong, fast, agile, and a technical tackler. Biggums projects to learn from some elite defensive line talent and progress quickly to a top defensive tackle in this league.

[Pib]

Task 7:

For a decade, the Arizona Outlaws were the perennial contenders in the ISFL, consistently dominating the regular season only to face heartbreak in the playoffs. While there were playoff struggles prior to this season, for many the saga began in Season 27, a season that would set the tone for the next nine years. Despite finishing the regular season with an impressive record, the Outlaws' playoff journey was cut short by NOLA in the first round, suffering a 41-21 defeat.

Season 28 brought a glimmer of hope as the Outlaws reached the conference championship game, facing off against the Austin Copperheads. In a closely contested battle, they fell short, losing 16-13 and missing the chance to advance to the Ultimus.

The following year, Season 29, proved to be another setback. The Outlaws faced the New York Silverbacks in the playoffs, and despite a valiant effort, their rising quarterback, Cortez, struggled with three turnovers in the first half, ultimately leading to a 34-27 defeat.

In Season 30, the Outlaws made it to the Ultimus final but faced disappointment once again, this time at the hands of the Sarasota Sailfish, losing 27-10. The championship dreams seemed elusive, and the frustration grew.

The trend continued in Season 31 when the Outlaws bowed out in the wildcard round against the Honolulu Hahalua. Season 32 brought another opportunity in the ASFC Championship game, but a 28-17 loss to the Silverbacks dashed their hopes despite a strong 12-4 regular season record.

Season 33 and 34 unfolded in a familiar fashion, with the Outlaws reaching the championship game but falling short against the Orange County Otters, 34-29 and the Honolulu Hahalua once again. The agony of consistently reaching the precipice of glory only to stumble became a defining narrative for the Outlaws. Season 35 would see a similar outcome, stumbling against Honolulu again.

Season 36 marked the final chapter of the playoff losses, culminating in a defeat against Honolulu in the championship game — a third successive season of playoff defeats at the hands of the same opponent. The frustration among fans and players alike was palpable as the Ultimus remained just out of reach.

However, in a story of perseverance and resilience, Season 37 would rewrite the narrative. The Arizona Outlaws, after a decade of playoff heartbreaks, finally secured the Ultimus. Their journey was characterized by years of frustration, near misses, and heartbreaking losses, but in the end, they broke the curse.

The ten seasons of regular season excellence without an Ultimus title painted a narrative of resilience, determination, and the unyielding pursuit of glory. The Outlaws' eventual triumph in Season 37 not only crowned them champions but also immortalized their journey as one of the most compelling stories in ISFL history. The road to victory was paved with adversity, but the Arizona Outlaws emerged as true champions, their legacy forever etched in the annals of the league. In a testament to their prowess, Crunk and Z-Whiz became the fastest General Managers to reach 100 wins, setting a benchmark for excellence in the league. Their innovative approaches to team-building and game strategies reshaped the landscape of the ISFL, with many teams still playing catch up to this day. There would be multiple moves in free agency from the pair which would help them to solidify the team as the premier destination for players at the peak of their powers and allowed the Outlaws to remain a constant threat to the rest of the league.

Regardless of the threat they posed, Arizona were incredibly unfortunate to have not got their hands on more titles over the course of what many consider to be one of the most dominant decades in the history of the league.

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