Ah yes, the Snake Pit, the worlds only squiggly Stadium. It throws our opponents for a complete loop when they realised our field is built on an S, not to mention the plethora of live snakes in each changing room. You see, this inclusion of relatively tame and harmless corn snakes is enough to put the willies up any opponent on game day. You're getting changed, you put on your shoulder pads and helmet and then OH NO! A snake! Whatever will I do!? What you'll do is go out and throw 10 interceptions as you're suddenly overwhelmed by the snakes you're seeing everywhere. The stadium? A SNAKE. The opponents, DRESSED LIKE SNAKES. The fans? SNAKE ONESIES! There's nothing quite like the feeling of the sound reverberating off the squiggly stadium walls as the sound of hissing grows louder and louder. Opponents cannot believe their bad luck to be drawn against the Portlands pythons. The only huge negative is that it's a complete eyesore on the city of Portland, but that's not saying much.
The training facilities in Yellowknife aren’t like what you would expect for a professional team within a professional league like the International Simulation Football League. State of the art is not what we are known for. A small town in the freezing tundra of Canada, we can afford state of the art facilities, but we don’t want to spoil our players. We do have a gorgeous indoor practice facility which makes us soft enough as it is. Can we talk about that for a minute though, in a city that has an average temperature of 3 degrees as a high and -11 as a low, I genuinely appreciate the indoor practice complex. I for one absolutely hate the cold, but when you play for a team in Canada it is part of our aura. We have to have thick skin and man up during game days, which is why they keep the facility cold just not covered in ice and snow. So when game day comes and the opponents are in town, we don’t skip a beat. The receivers have learned to not use those gloves because in cold and wet environments they become super slippery, so they don’t use them, and we make fun of the visiting teams when they drop easy passes. Gotta have an edge somehow, amirite?
Code: 220 [OPTION]Height: 6'1"
[OPTION]Weight: 195 lbs.
[OPTION]Birthplace: Raleigh, NC
[OPTION]Number: 22
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[OPTION]Career Stats
[OPTION]G || Tck || TFL || FF/FR || Sck || Int || PD || TD
[OPTION]141 || 597 || 1 || 5/1 || 6 || 30 || 163 || 3
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[OPTION]Playoff Stats
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[OPTION]Awards
[OPTION]S26 Defensive Player of the Year, S26 CB of the Year,
[OPTION]S23 Defensive Breakout Player, S23 Defensive Performance
[OPTION]Pro Bowls: S22, S26
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The Yellowknife Wraiths have some pretty nice team facilities. Wraiths management has made sure that the players have top of the line locker rooms and workout facilities. Since it is so cold much of the year, almost everything is inside and well heated to keep everyone toasty and warm. The Wraiths also have very nice medical and rehab facilities to help keep the players in game shape. They must be pretty effective since no one is ever injured! The stadium itself is also a dome. As you walk up, you can miss the Wraiths Ring of Honor, named after legendary quarterback Cooter Bigsby. There is plenty of seating inside, as the owner wants to make sure there is plenty of room for all the loyal fans. Since there are not a lot of other things to do in Yellowknife, the Wraiths have also built some nice facilities that are open to the public as a way to give back, including a medical clinic that is free of charge to residents of Yellowknife.
Last, but not least, are the very impressive @UberBJ Memorial Bathrooms, the nicest in Canada. 186 words
In my days of being in Bondi Beach (well in my current days actually) I spent would spend way more time in the facilities than I did really anywhere else, for a multitude of reasons but also because of the quality of what was offered there. Walking in, you are treated with assistants and individuals whose job is to make sure that you are ready to tackle the day. You have your own room to do your tasks that you split with other members of your position group, and your work is complemented by the fantastic interior design present in the space. From there, you are offered 24/7 access to any and all exercise and training components inside the facilities, with top trainers standing by at almost all hours to guide you in the right direction. The food is also very well made, as you have the guidance of a team of Michelin Star caliber chefs who are always coming up with new items to continue to intrigue and fuel your diet. Overall, a great place rivaled by few.
Being a snake based team, we obviously had to put the Snake Pit underground. And since we're also a Portland based team, the stadium obviously had to be exclusive and somewhat hipster. Thus the Snake Pit stadium is actually an underground speakeasy. The entrance to the stadium is through an unassuming door in a local coffee shop that only sells organic, single origin, fair trade coffee. There's no parking because everybody bikes or uses public transportation, and all stadium refreshments are provided by local co-op farmers.
And contrary to popular belief, the Snake Pit isn't just a cold, damp hole in the ground full of snakes. It's a warm, damp hole in the ground full of snakes because snakes are cold blooded. We have state of the art exercise and medical facilities on site, including antivenom for 9 out of the 10 venomous snake species that reside in the stadium. Please alert stadium staff immediately after receiving any bites, along with a description of what the snake looks like. So slither on over to the Snake Pit and pay us a visit! We promisssssse you won't regret it! (186 words) |
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