(02-23-2018, 07:48 AM)Raven Wrote:Placeholders are for weebs
[div align=center][SELECT style="background-color:purple; color:white; font-family:Arial; font-size: 12px; width: 400px; "][br][OPTION]Terrell Brister Jr. Juosu's #1 fan
The Yeti locker room is an interesting place to be, and given our recent additions, I can't imagine what incoming rookies are going to be thinking when they walk in.
First, you have the unquestioned leader in the locker room, Nick Pierno. He is always amped up, blasting music, telling stories, and shouting encouragement at the top of his lungs. The guy has no off switch. Then you have the newest addition to the team, rookie Dwayne Aaron. For some reason, this dude always has his dick out. He and Carlito Crush are always swinging dong and arguing over whose is biggest. Michael Tillman is usually drinking or puking somewhere. He's the only guy with a trash can at the bottom of his locker. Saint is quiet, stoic, and, well, saintly. Hackett is usually talking about the newest car or house he got with his giant contract. Bly can usually be found ranting about something, most often HO or how he was robbed of ROTY last year. Boss Tweed is constantly running laps around the complex instead of showering. His locker wins Worst Smelling Award. The Sandoval brothers talk to each other in their own secret language all the time. We're all pretty sure they're talking about the rest of us. Brian Wheat is always sitting there polishing his gun, making the rest of us mildly uncomfortable. And finally, Sebastian Joyce wanders around aimlessly asking everyone who will listen if he should change positions. It's a neat place to be. Haruki Ishigawa
The Marshals locker room is a great one. The first day I walked in that locker room, it smelled like whipped cream. I didn't know why, until I was told to get ready for pictures. I put on my new Marshals uniform and headed to the picture stand, ready to get my season picture taken. I posed, palming a football in my right hand. Then, to my surprise, one of our general managers, Roly, locked the door. He said, "We need to get better lighting". I nodded, and shrugged. Then the cameraman counted down, but instead of my picture getting taken, I was bombarded by whipped cream. A giant pie fell on my head, and Alvin Chipmunk started spraying me with whipped cream. It took me a while to get all of the goo out of my head. But I knew I was in the right place, and that this locker room was going to have some fun this year.
I'm a quiet person, so if I'm going to be honest my first weeks in the Yeti locker room were quite an experience. I was the only Kansas City guy to be drafted by the Yeti, so it was very strange to now be in a locker room with some of my rivals from the DSFL. The big prize was Dwayne Aaron, who is hyper competitive at everything except when it comes to carrying everyone else's shoulder pads. I'm a kicker, Dwayne. I don't have upper body strength. Help a brother out! Dwayne has also been prodding at star quarterback (and more importantly starting holder) Nick Pierno to spend more time throwing and less time running, which is a bold move for a rookie. While I wouldn't want anyone else to hold my balls, Nick and I are totally opposite. While Nick loves to talk about all the celebs he hangs out with, blast music, and have beefs on Twitter, I talk about my homework and complain about it on Twitter.
I've gotten used to it over the last few weeks and honestly, I do love it here. It's... interesting, but these guys are great.
Wow, what a week. The Portland Pythons led by our excellent coaches, management, and talented players, are sitting at 3-0 with a ridiculous 74 PF to 16 PA. This is not just a talented offense, that has so much room to grow, this is a fully talented team in every aspect. I know we will win the championship this year. You can feel it in the locker room.
I was talking with our star running backs Gore and Ariel and they were feeling determined and you can see it with every run they do. Truly the best duo in the DSFL. How can that even be argued against? Either one would be a true workhorse on any team in the DSFL and I have no doubts that they'd do great in the NSFL - where I'm sure they'll break out next year. McCoy and Christ have been working it out as well, excited about us taking it all this season. The entire locker room has a fire in it that I haven't seen anywhere else in my time playing football. This is a special team. (210) WR/RB | Portland Pythons | Colorado Yeti Star RB | Awards Committee Member
Many people may not know this, but Avon Blocksdale is a huge fan of…. himself. Never have I seen a man spend so much time making sure his hair is just right, or his post-game conference outfit is perfect in every way. There’s always been the pretty-boy QB stereotype, but Blocksdale takes it to heart. Have you ever seen a grown man spend 20 minutes on his hair alone? I have, and honestly, his dedication to the art is impressive. Truth be told, he was almost late to the combine because he couldn’t get a strand of his hair to lay just right. We have a running joke on the team, when a group of us get together for whatever reason, we have “ready” and Blocksdale ready.” “Ready” means exactly what it sounds like, we’re good to go and ready to have some fun. “Blocksdale ready”, on the other hand, means we need at least 20 more minutes to get ourselves together before we head out. But hey, to each his own, right? @iamslm22
[OPTION]Johnny Snuggles || CB || Yellowknife Wraiths || Hall of Fame [OPTION]Height/Weight: 6'1", 205 [OPTION]Number: 21 [OPTION] Draft History: S13 #1 Overall [OPTION]=========================================== [OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:[OPTION] Ultimini Champs: S12 [OPTION] Defensive Rookie of the Year: S13 [OPTION] Pro Bowl: S14, S15, S16
What people don't know about the Baltimore Hawks locker room is that... things get real wild in there. When they aren't having pokemon battles (Antoine Delacour is allegedly the pokemon champion, but we were unable to corroborate this claim with any of his teammates) or discussing the merits of whiskey bars -- where one is encouraged to sample copious amounts of hard liquor -- they really go hard.
...by that I mean they play dungeons and dragons. I shit you not. Full-on goblin battling, sword and sorcery shit. Allegedly, they also get together outside the locker room with some deviants and absolute madlads (not Bradley T. though; don't worry Otters management, he's a good guy) from other teams, and have group adventures. I'm not sure if the league plans to take action, but it's perhaps something that should be investigated. We absolutely can't have professional athletes ignoring their families to sit and do nerd shit around tables at each others' houses, while eating snacks and drinking beer. It's an outrage! I impersonate a programmer for a living
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(02-23-2018, 04:03 PM)manicmav36 Wrote:Many people may not know this, but Avon Blocksdale is a huge fan of…. himself. Never have I seen a man spend so much time making sure his hair is just right, or his post-game conference outfit is perfect in every way. There’s always been the pretty-boy QB stereotype, but Blocksdale takes it to heart. Have you ever seen a grown man spend 20 minutes on his hair alone? I have, and honestly, his dedication to the art is impressive. Truth be told, he was almost late to the combine because he couldn’t get a strand of his hair to lay just right. We have a running joke on the team, when a group of us get together for whatever reason, we have “ready” and Blocksdale ready.” “Ready” means exactly what it sounds like, we’re good to go and ready to have some fun. “Blocksdale ready”, on the other hand, means we need at least 20 more minutes to get ourselves together before we head out. But hey, to each his own, right? @iamslm22 It's true. How else can you get a mug this good looking
Woah what timing! So after practice today me and the boys are hanging out in the locker room doing our own usual after-practice activities. Matt Akselsen is giving some kids with cancer a tour of the locker room, Dermot Lavelle is checking himself out in the mirror, and I’m shooting up my performance enhancing drugs….I mean herbal supplements. Then the FBI come bursting in the locker room we are all getting slammed into ground, they are waving their badges around and they start tearing through everybody’s lockers and definitely not just my locker. When they are tearing through all of the lockers and not just mine, they are whispering about a murder investigation and a bunch of bodies that are missing and a bunch of other cop talk I did not pay much attention to. There was also an agent with a half empty bag of concrete in an evidence bag and an old shovel neither of which were in the trunk of my car…
@Bzerkap @iamslm22 @`To12143` It's coming... P.S. This is off the record right? Do I need my lawyer?
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