SHL Affiliate
17. Your team has announced that they will be laying ground on a new stadium next season. What additions would you like to see included in it. No graphics option available here. I think the top addition I would like to see is an upgraded locker room. Not that there is anything wrong with our locker room, but imagine if it was as nice as some of the college locker rooms you see out there. I’m talking about a locker room that rivals that of Clemson, Alabama, or Ohio State. PS5/Xbox in every locker, an in house barber shop, a giant slide to get from the upstairs to the downstairs, an in house spa/salon for relaxing after games. Another great addition would be expanded recreation space in the locker room. It would be nice to bond with my teammates while playing ping pong, mini golf, bowling, or pool. For the fans, I would like to see an improved wifi network throughout the stadium. This will allow fans to check their fantasy scores and the scores of other games in real time, as well as post all my sick highlights to the bookface at the speed of light. Last but not least, also for the fans, would be upgraded rest rooms. As anyone who has been to a football game could probably tell you, the restrooms are typically disgusting. I would like to see new walls, floords, sinks, and facilities in every restroom throughout the stadium to really give the fans the experience they deserve. (224 words) 22. You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do? I am personally a gigantic Justin Bieber and One Direction fan. To set the scene, we would first kill every light in the stadium and allow Justin to stand by himself at center field. One spotlight would shine down on him as he performs a flawless rendition of his hit song “Baby”, even nailing every word of the rap part by Ludacris. He would then go on to sing a couple more of his more famous songs before a brand new reveal of his latest song that is not out yet “I’m singing at the super bowl for some reason.” In the middle of this song, all the original members of One Direction would walk out to join in as they each have a verse in this 10 minute masterpiece. Justin would gracefully exit to the locker room as One Direction continue to light the Super Bowl halftime show on fire for a couple more songs. They would leave the field and everyone would think that the half time show was over. But wait, there’s more! A secret trap door opens up and a hooded figure is raised to the 50 yard line on a platform. Nobody knows who it is until Jesse McCartney himself finishes the best half time show of all time. (214 words) 20. Make a scouting report for any of the ISFL or DSFL draftees. Show their stats, abilities, TPE, or highlights. User @TakaMori152 , Player Kiarah Tenoh, running back. Important attributes - Speed: 94, Intelligence: 35, Run Blocking: 20, Pass Blocking: 20, Agility: 50, Endurance: 50, Hands: 30, Strength: 30. Stats - 1370 rushing yards, 5 yards per carry, 10 rushing touchdowns. Takamori has a very interesting build here and it is obvious that it worked out well. As you can see, they dumped literally every TPE possible pretty much into speed and only speed. This led to an absolutely outstanding season where their running back finished second in rushing yards AND rushing touchdowns losing both of those categories to a running back who had almost 100 MORE rushes than them. I think the fact that Takamori had 3 less rushing touchdowns and only 100 less rushing yards on 100 less opportunities really speaks a lot to how effective this build can be. I also chose to do a bit of a deep dive on this user because they were one that I was personally pushing had for London to draft after scouting them. I was super excited when I saw that they picked up a league job. If you have not read their fantastic media piece on the job distribution in the ISFL I can not recommend it enough (graphs!). I am glad to see that Taka has had success in this league and look forward to following their career! (227 words)
20. Make a scouting report for any of the ISFL or DSFL draftees. Show their stats, abilities, TPE, or highlights. Written or graphic option available.
-Image 23. Create a billboard, magazine cover, unique trading card, or video game cover depicting a one of the league's stars. -Image 19. If your player had a show starring them, what would the plot be? Graphic Option: Create the cover art for your player’s show -Image 29. Affiliate PT S30 DSFL Pro Bowl - S33 ISFL Pro Bowl - S39 ISFL All-Pro 2nd Team
Peak TPE: 1354
7. This task is exclusive to non-recreate rookies of the S30 class and later. In 400 words or more, how has your experience been in the league? Who have you met that has made your time here more fun, friendly, and exciting? Have you been satisfied with your player’s early start? What was it like being drafted for the first time? Do you have any comments or suggestions for the entire league that you think should be implemented? (Comes out to 406 words)
Oh boy, how do I fit my experience as a non-recreate rookie in about 400 words? I’ll start by spoiling that I’m loving it. The locker rooms have been remarkably enjoyable with a variety of bots, games, and discussions on genuinely interesting topics. For more information on all the topics I love, you’ll have to read on what award I’d like to give my player But the people are what make the locker rooms interesting and it’s the people that have made this league so much fun. I’m not going to be able to list EVERYONE I’ve enjoyed chatting with but will call out a few. First of all, there’s @NicholasTheGreat. The first GM I encountered as they waived me into the BBB, NTG immediately offered advice, insight, and made sure I felt welcomed into the team. Their trusted crew has answered all questions I’ve thrown into chat and it’s made my entrance into league all the easier. Next up has to be @MMFLEX. MMFLEX reached out to me to tell me about the Norfolk Seawolves. It was my first time talking with a rep from another team who was trying to feel me out and give me an opportunity to feel out their team at the same time. Again, I was offered advice, insight, and enjoyed conversations around the league and how I might integrate myself into future teams. And then there’s @negs. Negs and I have had some DMs and random disconnected conversations in different chats. Our various conversations in random channels has kind of been the connective tissue that makes the league feel more real. As I speak with Negs in different channels, I find myself taking better notice of other players who chat with us and the community feels more real. Subsequent conversations with veterans like @SchwarzNarr who tells me how much they enjoyed their DSFL days really makes me feel like I’ve found a great community. And to wrap it up, I’ll openly admit to those who haven’t heard this before that I’m here because of @HalfEatenOnionBagel. HalfEatenOnionBagel once wrote a college essay about our friendship which ended with “We’re brothers.” Though that’s not true by blood, it’s true by how we live. Good times, bad times, we’ve been there for each other through it all. And whether we battle on the simulated grid iron together or against each other, I’m looking forward to seeing how it all plays out. 8. With awards season upon us, make up an award for your player win for something not on the football field? (Comes out to 420 words) The best thing about this league is the activities, particularly in the locker rooms. For example, the counting channel. I’ve been in the London Royals locker room and they have the most impressive counting channel I’ve ever seen. Trust me, the heights they have reached by nonconsecutive users writing sequential numbers is the type of achievement that is likely to outlast the heat death of the universe. I’ve engaged in the ISFL counting channel myself. I may or may not have ruined a 600+ streak. But you know what? I had fun counting and despite my shame of failure plan to continue counting! So maybe a Courageous Counter award would suffice? Perhaps not, after all, I’m spending more time in the jeopardy room than the counting room. Sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar eats you. Sometimes I get three 1k questions right in a row. Sometimes I go on a streak of 12 wrong in a row. But that’s the great thing with discord jeopardy, you can never go below 0 so I’m perfectly average. I’ve got a little formal education, plenty of hours spent watching Alex Trebek on the tv, but it’s very humbling to get so many questions wrong in the channel. I’d make up an award that alliterates with Trivia or Jeopardy but I can’t exactly think of one (which is OK because I wouldn’t be giving myself that award anyway.) Beyond these channels that take up the majority of my time, there’s the anime chat (hello fellow weebs), the other sports chat (insert Dani Rojas “Football is life”), the Pokemon chat (Sing it with me, I play Pokemon Go Everyday), and really too many fun chats to keep track of. If it was up to me, just an overall “newcomer of the year” award would be a fun one to win. But that’s too simple. I’m not here for simplicity. I’m here to grind my way to absolute victory. I’m averaging 20+ TPE and I haven’t even been drafted yet. When I’m in the forums, I’m not captjanko, I’m Morpheus Czargyros, repping Rancho Cucamonga. And I’m not here for friends, I’m here for glory. I’m here for the heat. I’m here to set the world on fire with my talent. My persona in these articles are super hot fire and have you seen me with my brother? The SUPER SMANG BROTHERS?? No matter where you find me I am pushing straight heat. And that’s why I’m promoting that I win the SIZZLING AWARD!
07-03-2021, 10:39 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-07-2021, 04:13 PM by HalfEatenOnionBagel.)
Task 17. Your team has announced that they will be laying ground on a new stadium next season. What additions would you like to see included in it. No graphics option available here.
Aww man here we go time to talk about what I would want in a brand new stadium. I'm big on football stadiums, it really changes the atmosphere of the game so much for the players but more importantly the fans. You go into some of these new age stadiums and it's like you're just sitting in a big concrete bowl. I mean yeah at the end of the day that's really what it is but like look at the Buccaneers they got a giant pirate ship and cannons, let's fly. For the Butcher's first of all you gotta have good food and good meat at a good price. Fans already got to pay an arm and a leg to get into the game and drink during the game let's get the concessions a little more reasonably priced. Next we need to have pictures of opposing players in every urinal and toilet bowl in the stadium. Swap em out on a weekly basis to match who we are playing; fans love that kind of shit. I wanna drop a deuce on some teams star QB hell yeah. Ok after that we need fire, a lot of fire. At least one flame machine mounted at every section of the stadium if not more and we're firing that shit up constantly. First down, fire. Third down on defense, fire. TV timeout, fire. We just threw a pick 6? Fuck it, start up the fire. Ok finally biggest addition, 100 ft cleaver just like the Butcher's logo mounted behind one of the endzones. Every time we score it comes swinging down and (fake) blood goes everywhere. Fans can pay extra to be in the splash zone. The kids are gonna love it. 20. Make a scouting report for any of the ISFL or DSFL draftees. Show their stats, abilities, TPE, or highlights. Written or graphic option available. Morpheus Czargyros, DE College: University of Redlands, Rancho Cucamonga Jersey Number: 99 Height (ft): 6'3 Weight (lbs): 270 Pros: - Has elite speed and bend off the edge at the college level - The kid has a real motor, once he locks his eyes on the quarterback he won't stop coming until the whistle blows - Absolute beast in the weight room, first one in, last one out kind of guy - He's got a bit of a chip on his shoulder and an attitude, which some may worry about but could absolutely give him an edge over similar prospects Cons: - At his size might be a bit of a tweener and could get bullied by some of the bigger offensive linemen in the league - Some serious questions when looking at his college production through the lens of the competition he played against - Has some personality but may not translate that charisma into being a leader for his team - Has signed with an absolutely unknown agency which shouldn't hurt him at the DSFL level but may give ISFL GMs pause Overall, Czargyros is a high risk, high reward kind of prospect. Coming from an unknown school and with a lot of question marks in general, there's certainly some check marks missing from his profile. But when you watch the kid on tape he absolutely jumps off the screen with his athleticism and his hustle. He may only be great at one thing, getting after the quarterback. But that one thing is maybe the most valuable skill you can have as a defensive player. Could absolutely see him going in the first three rounds of the upcoming DSFL draft and maybe even higher when he's eligible for the ISFL Draft. 25. Imagine your current position was not available to be picked when you created your player. What other position would you have picked, and why? My just retired played was a CB. My player before that was a CB. So I'm burnt out on CB. I mean the two times I ended up switching to that I didn't even want to play CB but the team needed it. My latest recreate is a LB. I was a LB for like half the career of my first player and it's pretty fun, you get a lot of stats. But I think if I could make anything that I wanted outside if that I still kind of want to try and make a good blocking TE or FB. I know that maybe in the sim it just doesn't work, especially now that rushing has been found to be a bit odd in the new sim but I would love to just see my mammoth guy pancaking linebackers out there while also occasionally mossing dudes in the endzone. Like if I only got a handful of touchdowns in a season I wouldn't even care if I could make a big impact in the running game. So while I don't think FB or blocking tight end would be worth it cause I don't think they can have that impact I think I could be swayed to be OL again if a team really needed it. It's certainly made a comeback and will always be a position of need for teams.But realistically I'm just gonna play whatever my team wants me to. I would like to have it figured out before I start in the ISFL though just so I can get some career numbers rolling. 15. Going to Disneyland! Who was the Ultimus Game MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland. (Can be completed after the Ultimus game) In a game that wasn't very tight, though certainly not as bad as that Ultimini yikes, it can somehow be hard to pick out an MVP. Players on both sides of the ball played so well for the Silverbacks, which is why the night went so well for them. That's why I'm picking my MVP to be a player on the third side of the ball. That's right, I'm talking about K/P Dougie Smalls. Just look at his statline and you'll see that Smalls was perfect in this game. No missed extra points, no missed field goals, and while he wasn't called into action as a punter all too often, his average of over 40 yards makes a huge difference in such a big game. Kickers never get the respect that they deserve but when you know that your kicker is lining up and is automatic you can rest easily in other aspects of your gameplay. Of course you know Smalls made the trip down to Disneyworld after celebrating with his team. I'm sure he hit up Epcott for a few beers but we all know what he really came down there for: A spin on the classic Dumbo the Elephant ride and a photo op with Cinderella. [OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Regular Season Stats
[OPTION](S2) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S3) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S4) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S5) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S6) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S7) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S8) 14 Games Played
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Playoff Stats
[OPTION] 27839
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]Most Likely to Break the Team Bench When Sitting Down
[OPTION]Pumpkin Chuckin' Rally 2017 Semifinalist
[OPTION]Most Likely to Get Traded in S8 (T-1st)
[OPTION]Ultimus Champion S7, S8
2. Tell us about your draft class. Is there anything that makes it special in comparison to other classes? Where did your fellow draftees land, how are they doing? Did anyone turn out to be an unexpected steal of that draft based on what you know today? Do you think anyone in your draft class will become a hall of famer? If you’re new to the league, how do you think your class will do? Where do you think people will get drafted to? (800+ words)
Honestly, of most drafts I have witnessed unfold across sim leagues, I feel like this one has the most odd Well, the easiest way to go is to start from the top of the class. So let us start from the top of the class. The First Five Picks Pick 1 - Honolulu Hahalua - Eleven Kendrick-Watts - 124715 - WR First off, great guy, could have never gone wrong with this pick. As of right now, Numbers looks to be first in the class in TPE, and by no short margin. He is ahead of the second-best user by over 20TPE, absolutely no small margin in the grand scheme of things. Congratulations Honolulu, you nailed your top pick in this draft. Not too much else to say. Pick 2 - Baltimore Hawks - Lawrence Miller - overdoo - CB Well, really going to have to do this for some TPE, eh? At the draft, you'd have to expect Miller was mostly a pick for positional need. While he was not awful, near the top of the class then, really, he did not really have the best outlook or potential of some other players Baltimore must have been looking at. From how things have turned out, Miller really was not a great pick here, however, this draft can give Baltimore some forgiveness. Even though he has been on his way down, and recently plateaued, he is still in the top 15 for the class TPE rankings. Not the worst they could have done, but obviously disappointing. Let's see what they do with him. Pick 3 - Philadelphia Liberty - Xander Creed - Bandit239 - RB Now, we've already gotten to probably the biggest bust in the draft, at least relatively. After being drafted to the Liberty, who some expect was also a pick made on positional need, Creed fell off the face of the earth. They looked promising, and I don't think anyone could have seen this coming, but here we are now. He is no longer on the Coyotes, nor making an appearance for the Liberty, which makes this pick difficult, yet very, very easy to evaluate. It wasn't a great one. So what have we learned? Maybe just pick the best player available.. Pick 4 - Berlin Fire Salamanders - Marlon Brando - Menace0528 - DE With pick 4, we are back on track, with the Fire Salamanders nailing their pick of Marlon Brando. He's lowkey become something special in Berlin, and follows closely behind Numbers in the TPE rankings, sitting third. Not a bad pick at all, for fourth overall, and seems to have worked out very well for both the player, and the team. Pick 5 - Colorado Yeti - SparkySparky Boom-Man - FleshBagSoup - S Boom-Man was actually one of the players I played with in my short waiver stint with Norfolk, so that is cool I guess. He's also done well in the ISFL, and Colorado. Not the best in the class by any means, but nobody can be upset with how this pick turned out. Nothing crazy to say about this one. Now, obviously, those aren't all who are in this class, but it's a big task to mention everybody at the same time. Here are the notables from the draft, all of which you should be aware of. Draft Busts... Pick 3 - Philadelphia Liberty - Xander Creed - Bandit239 - RB This was likely expected as he was mentioned just prior, but for ranking's sake, here it is. The biggest bust of the S27 class. Now, I know coming from me, this sounds dumb, but hey, it is what it is. A guy who never became anything for the Liberty, or any team in the ISFL. Picked at third overall, it's definitely a bigger spotlight than you could want for something like this. However, it makes the decision obvious for the biggest bust in the class. Pick 8 - Yellowknife Wraiths - Kita Chiasa - SabreMike - CB Another high pick that really just did not do much for the respective team. If this name sounds somewhat familiar, it could be because not too long ago, Chiasa actually announced his retirement from the league. Now, the combination of it being impossible for this player to come back and produce (versus unlikely with others on this list..) as well as being such a high pick lands him the spot of the second-worst bust of this class. In my opinion, the Wraiths were yet another victim of picking based on position, as it was highlighted for many weeks prior they were looking at DB's. However, that isn't what this post is supposed to be about. Pick 11 - Baltimore Hawks - Maui Waialiki - Excelsior (Zamir) - OL This one is.. weird.. and something I just recently learned of. Now, without context, Waialiki was actually a great player, and pick for the Hawks. However, recently the user was banned for being a multi of another banned user, resulting in the player being completely erased from the league. While the player itself was great, the result is similar to those of Chiasa, and Creed. However, I place Waialiki behind Chiasa and Creed, both because of draft position, and because he had done good things for the Hawks before this resulted. ..And the Gems Pick 31 - Philadelphia Liberty - Tasuyu Asui - WildfireMicro - WR Well, the Liberty sure had a draft, didn't they? The biggest bust, and the biggest steal of the same draft. They can only be happy with how this pick has gone, second in the class in TPE, behind only the first overall pick, and a great user to go along with it. Great job on WildfireMicro for sticking with it and proving every team wrong about passing on him, because he is doing something special. Pick 29 - Honolulu Hahalua - Joliet Christ Jr. - AW13 - QB Another pick that has brought extreme value, and it sure does work out that Honolulu snagged both a great WR and QB, doesn't it? Similar to Asui, Christ Jr. has shattered all expectations of a third-round pick and has definitely impressed several members of the league. Great work AW13, I'm glad it has worked for you! (1005/800 words)
4) Sim gonna sim - Is there any phrase more despised in sim league history? It really is a massive dampener on everything, knowing that no matter how hard you work, how much you earn or whatever you try in strategy meetings, it all goes to pot. To put this in the nerdiest way possible, the sim is basically Chaotic Natural. It has no allegiances, it has no friends and usually results should pan out as expected. But then some days it's almost as if the sim comes alive, throws up its hands and just decides a winner arbitrarily. It’s like the gods of order and reason are around a table, looking over work they’ve done and they come to a logical conclusion of things and then Lady Chaos stumbles into the room drunk of her ass, pushes all the notes and planning off the table before collapsing on top of the table, takes another drink and then points at the first logo she sees and declares them the winner. Of all the examples I could find in league history, I decided to go with a very recent case. One where despite any analysis done by either team, the result was surprising and awe-inspiring and the most perfect representation of Lady Chaos’ will in “Sim gonna Sim”
Ultimini 27 - Minnesota Grey Ducks vs Tijuana Luchadores. Let's get one thing perfectly clear before we continue. The Tijuana Luchadores were a good team. In fact, they were a VERY good team. You don’t go 9-5 and tie the class of south division in the Dallas Birddogs unless you are a talented side. The Luchadores were one of the finest defensive teams in the league, they allowed the third fewest points per game in the league (22.6pts per game), they allowed the third fewest yards per game in the league (348.2 yards per game) and they had the 2nd best rush defense in the lead which allowed only 90.8 yards per game. The front four of Sheriff Woody, Marcus Jones, In Active and Southof TheBorder were a shutdown unit that stop run plays in their tracks (in fact it was because of this play that Sheriff Woody is widely considered the presumptive first overall pick). The two cornerbacks of Jackson and Schwarzer combined for 40 pass deflections, which basically stopped 3 passes a game from 2 players. This was a good defensive unit that was complimented by an emerging offensive unit that felt like a return of Tijuana’s glory days of seasons past. Leading the offensive core was Quarterback Ishe ReallyInvisible who showed up on the stat sheet in every possible metric. In the 14 game season, he threw for 3388 yards at 59.4 percent completion and 21 touchdowns to only 10 interceptions. He terrorized defences everywhere he went which made him the best QB of the south conference. It also helps that he was accompanied by an emerging all star running back in Miracle whip who bulldozed opponents on his way to collection 1275 yards and 6 touchdowns on the year. He would also flash his speed by getting 5 20+ yard runs on the year showing that he could absolutely take over games when needed to. What complimented this core was an emerging wide receiver talent in Jason Waterfalls who would be one of only 7 wide receivers to eclipse 1000 yards and would become a key part of their offensive lineup as they would defeat the birddogs 26-13 in the Conference finals to punch their ticket to the ultimini title against the Minnesota Grey Ducks. So now… if we take all of that to be true, how do you explain what happened in the Ultimini? Now maybe the winner isn’t surprising as the Grey Ducks were also an excellent team. They were the outright first seeds. Kazimir Oles Jr would put up MVP level numbers for yards and put up 31 touchdowns to 12 interceptions. Sophomore Running Back John Huntsman would have a season for the ages with 1470 rushing yards and 13 touchdowns which put him as the leagues best running back and rookie sensation Mason Malone would put up 1498 receiving yards, putting him deep in the conversation for Wide Receiver of the year and offensive rookie of the year. They had the best pass defenceman and offense in the league and were rated in the top two in pts and yards for offense and defence. But even taking all of that to be true, that doesn’t explain how the Luchadores not only failed to not only put up a good fight for the championship, but even put up points at all. Minnesota smothered them all game long to the point where they set the record for largest point margin for victory in a championship game and would record the first ever shutout in Ultimini history. It was an awe inspiring sight and for the Luchadores, with all of their talent, skill and tenacity… it remains the best example of Sim gonna Sim |
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