I stepped down as GM of the Arizona Outlaws recently. I haven't really spoken to the reasons so I'm aware that it has left a few people unsure as to what my motivations were. It quickly became publicly known that i was contemplating recreating as well. You might not know that there was a specific condition for it and it nearly happened. Finally, it became well known today that I asked for a trade.
Couple that with a recent position switch and that's a lot of stuff to unpack and from the point of view of someone on the outside. It seems erratic. Flaky. Unstable. Unkempt. And..as @Jiggly_333 frequently warns...as if my hair is slowly consuming me and taking control of my decisions. I assure you right away that my hair is not making the decisions. I do have to spend more time washing it than ever before though. Hmmm.
THE GM PARTS
Anyway, let's start with something I mentioned in a recent PT. I applied to move the team. In that PT I detailed what I felt the counter argument was for those in the HO who did not support the relocation. Which can be summed up as "we just told somebody else yes plus the Coyote thing happened". Keep in mind that the discussion about moving began before the Second Line were announced. Both our teams discussed the possibility openly in the GM chat a number of times and often with each other. Ad not just the normal "what are you wearing?" that Bovo continually asks me.
I thought our chances were good. I thought I could convince those who doubted that it would be a good move for the league. To help wipe away the things that happened. And i tried. I tlaked about the rebanding effort. I engaged members of the HO who I want to say straight up never backed down from talking about it. There was even a private discussion about treating the team as a new franchise when we moved. The titles would stay with the old team name and along with them, the dirty history. Individual players would still claim whatever they wished.
Throughout this past season I led the team in crafting our relocation. As a team we bantered ideas for cities, names, logos, and colors. As a team we voted several times to narrow down and choose the city. Then we did the same thing for the team name. Almost the entire team participated, including several who are semi-active at best.
We were going to be the Seattle Flight. We had so many logo and color design ideas. People made mockups. We put in WORK. As a team. The vote came back no. I'm not going to disparage the HO. They had their reasons. I don't agree with those reasons. But I'm not going to pretend they didn't have their own weight. I will however add a snarky "hooray...more fucking comments about asterisks for ever and ever". Even saying that I want to make it clear that I am NOT shitting on anyone for disagreeing with me. Nor should anyone.
Now....all that said..it sounds like I found out the vote was no and quit being GM. That's not really accurate. It's...a little accurate. But it's not the whole story. The whole story is that this GM stint was never meant to be a long one. A few people have heard this already with varying degrees of cynicism, but it's true. From the moment I hired Arbin, the plan was to get him ready to take over. See, he always had the mind for it. He understood the game. He GMs in another unnamed league. it kinda sounds like the word evil. :ph34r:
Arbin is a young dude. One who has in the past struggled with the people side of things, as a lot of young people often do. THAT was what I worked with him on. I mean, I'm not gonna say we didn't talk strategy a ton. We did. I'm sure some of my particular methods and plans influenced him. But the grooming that was taking place was always primarily on the people side of things. Anyone who's been around the league since the beginning can tell you that he's blossomed the last 4 months. Soon he'll be a young butterfly. Seriously though, he's a great kid. And I'm super glad I got to be a part of bringing him along (after being told not to hire him by at least one person).
I was always planning to step down fairly quickly. Another season at most. Because this was in part about me getting a taste of what GM'ing is in this league. This team was and is so established that it truly belongs to someone like him, who's been on it since the beginning. In the end, I really really like GM'ing. I'll come back to it at some point. But there are other opportunities out there in the league that I can take part in. Possibly other opportunities to come in the near future as well. I was ready to do that. AM ready to do that. This also influenced my decision.
At the end of the day I began stepping down well before the vote. I knew what was coming. I'd failed. And this set the other motivations into motion. I wanted to give Arbin time to delete his facebook profile find a Co-GM, do strats on a few games, and settle in before the offseason work started. So we did that and I slowly slid myself down the pecking order as things went into motion and the new management team was formed. We always knew Dean Jackson was a possible future GM when we drafted him. We joked that if I GM'ed until expansion (and then took a team) we'd have to fight over him and Roly. The stage was set. So much of the team was younger now in terms of league time. The team was Arbin's.
THE RECREATING PARTS
I had been discussing retiring and recreating with Arbin for a while. It started as being for positional needs. It's why he ultimately retired Arbin Sr. and made Arbin Jr. I was in line to do something similar since the DSFL is so well constructed that it's kinda better to start over than position switch in a lot of cases. By the end of all the stuff from the previous section, retiring began to represent a change of fortune. A way to step away from the frustrations. A clean slate. This was made all the more attractive with the idea that I could not just start fresh, but do so going through the entire DSFL to NSFL process at or just before the time that a ton of season 1 players will be doing so. Couple that with some of those opportunities I mentioned above. DSFL teams are always in need, player mentors are always in need, etc.
Also with it came another thing. Arbin started making decisions running the team. HOW DARE HE. :unsure:
No but really. He started making decisions to craft the team to his plans. That's what he's supposed to do. And I realized I didn't like it. A fact that is completely on me. And I had a plan to retire. Make sure I get the team a full season and then recreate after week 10 of next season so i get the extra time to gain TPE. Loophole bitches. :dj: It's hard to tell someone "you're doing everything you are supposed to be doing and I kinda hate it and it's not your fault" without it sounding super weird. Case in point...it was just super weird. Admit it.
So there it was. I wanted to make sure he had a plan and according to our conversations, he did. And I realized that by going through with it I was probably going to watch my corpse get traded somewhere by a vulture team looking for that extra firepower for an Ultimus run.
Sidenote: it's weird that corpse is our accepted term and also weird that no one finds it weird. I can't imagine how that looks to anyone who stumbles across it without knowing the context. Or if someone realizes we have robots, women, and cyborg players in the league and then just assumes zombies are also eligible or something. Mutant League sim for the win.
I realized I didn't want to let go of Charlie just yet. Which brings us to......
THE TRADE PARTS
Me asking to be traded. Why? Because behind all of that stuff I just told you is enjoyment. Passion. A love of this sim and what we do. I have so much fun with this shit and with you people. That's why some might notice the dozen or so inside jokes spread through what would otherwise be a somewhat serious article.
Shout out to Kansas for not singing their lyrics correctly.
At the end of the day this hobby is fun for me. And I really enjoy my time here. Whether it be playing as Law or GMing or secretly being Dermot or redrafting the entire league or any other goofy shit we get up to, it doesn't matter. It's a lot of fun. And in the end it felt like closing the entire Law chapter and starting over was too much. I had a few bad breaks. Things didn't go my way. I wanted to keep going in THIS chapter. And that's why I asked Arbin to trade me, with a generic "its not you its me" and a promise to explain later. Because ultimately this is all a positive. And what I want is to not sit there being quietly unhappy at perfectly rational decisions because they weren't what I'd have done. What I want is to take what's happened up til now and then add more to the story. What I want is to put on new colors and let the frustration go. What I want is to take something I'll probably be asked a bunch and just write it all out for media money. :towel:
And here we are. I'm on the trade block. I'm finding something new. And now I'm sharing this so that everyone knows. Not just for myself. But because sometimes we need to be reminded that this game we play is a game. That it's supposed to be about fun. That it's easy to let ourself get angry at the idea that we have more passion than anyone else. Or that things aren't going well so we should pull some sort of huge stunt to let everyone know.
Sometimes it's as simple as thinking things through and deciding to change the environment. That's the wisdom I have to share from my own personal experience. I hope this was helpful. I know it was for me. I'm excited to see where I go and what happens next. Even if the Otters win and also have the simmer. :rofl:
And no. I am not currently pooping.
Couple that with a recent position switch and that's a lot of stuff to unpack and from the point of view of someone on the outside. It seems erratic. Flaky. Unstable. Unkempt. And..as @Jiggly_333 frequently warns...as if my hair is slowly consuming me and taking control of my decisions. I assure you right away that my hair is not making the decisions. I do have to spend more time washing it than ever before though. Hmmm.
THE GM PARTS
Anyway, let's start with something I mentioned in a recent PT. I applied to move the team. In that PT I detailed what I felt the counter argument was for those in the HO who did not support the relocation. Which can be summed up as "we just told somebody else yes plus the Coyote thing happened". Keep in mind that the discussion about moving began before the Second Line were announced. Both our teams discussed the possibility openly in the GM chat a number of times and often with each other. Ad not just the normal "what are you wearing?" that Bovo continually asks me.
I thought our chances were good. I thought I could convince those who doubted that it would be a good move for the league. To help wipe away the things that happened. And i tried. I tlaked about the rebanding effort. I engaged members of the HO who I want to say straight up never backed down from talking about it. There was even a private discussion about treating the team as a new franchise when we moved. The titles would stay with the old team name and along with them, the dirty history. Individual players would still claim whatever they wished.
Throughout this past season I led the team in crafting our relocation. As a team we bantered ideas for cities, names, logos, and colors. As a team we voted several times to narrow down and choose the city. Then we did the same thing for the team name. Almost the entire team participated, including several who are semi-active at best.
We were going to be the Seattle Flight. We had so many logo and color design ideas. People made mockups. We put in WORK. As a team. The vote came back no. I'm not going to disparage the HO. They had their reasons. I don't agree with those reasons. But I'm not going to pretend they didn't have their own weight. I will however add a snarky "hooray...more fucking comments about asterisks for ever and ever". Even saying that I want to make it clear that I am NOT shitting on anyone for disagreeing with me. Nor should anyone.
Now....all that said..it sounds like I found out the vote was no and quit being GM. That's not really accurate. It's...a little accurate. But it's not the whole story. The whole story is that this GM stint was never meant to be a long one. A few people have heard this already with varying degrees of cynicism, but it's true. From the moment I hired Arbin, the plan was to get him ready to take over. See, he always had the mind for it. He understood the game. He GMs in another unnamed league. it kinda sounds like the word evil. :ph34r:
Arbin is a young dude. One who has in the past struggled with the people side of things, as a lot of young people often do. THAT was what I worked with him on. I mean, I'm not gonna say we didn't talk strategy a ton. We did. I'm sure some of my particular methods and plans influenced him. But the grooming that was taking place was always primarily on the people side of things. Anyone who's been around the league since the beginning can tell you that he's blossomed the last 4 months. Soon he'll be a young butterfly. Seriously though, he's a great kid. And I'm super glad I got to be a part of bringing him along (after being told not to hire him by at least one person).
I was always planning to step down fairly quickly. Another season at most. Because this was in part about me getting a taste of what GM'ing is in this league. This team was and is so established that it truly belongs to someone like him, who's been on it since the beginning. In the end, I really really like GM'ing. I'll come back to it at some point. But there are other opportunities out there in the league that I can take part in. Possibly other opportunities to come in the near future as well. I was ready to do that. AM ready to do that. This also influenced my decision.
At the end of the day I began stepping down well before the vote. I knew what was coming. I'd failed. And this set the other motivations into motion. I wanted to give Arbin time to delete his facebook profile find a Co-GM, do strats on a few games, and settle in before the offseason work started. So we did that and I slowly slid myself down the pecking order as things went into motion and the new management team was formed. We always knew Dean Jackson was a possible future GM when we drafted him. We joked that if I GM'ed until expansion (and then took a team) we'd have to fight over him and Roly. The stage was set. So much of the team was younger now in terms of league time. The team was Arbin's.
THE RECREATING PARTS
I had been discussing retiring and recreating with Arbin for a while. It started as being for positional needs. It's why he ultimately retired Arbin Sr. and made Arbin Jr. I was in line to do something similar since the DSFL is so well constructed that it's kinda better to start over than position switch in a lot of cases. By the end of all the stuff from the previous section, retiring began to represent a change of fortune. A way to step away from the frustrations. A clean slate. This was made all the more attractive with the idea that I could not just start fresh, but do so going through the entire DSFL to NSFL process at or just before the time that a ton of season 1 players will be doing so. Couple that with some of those opportunities I mentioned above. DSFL teams are always in need, player mentors are always in need, etc.
Also with it came another thing. Arbin started making decisions running the team. HOW DARE HE. :unsure:
No but really. He started making decisions to craft the team to his plans. That's what he's supposed to do. And I realized I didn't like it. A fact that is completely on me. And I had a plan to retire. Make sure I get the team a full season and then recreate after week 10 of next season so i get the extra time to gain TPE. Loophole bitches. :dj: It's hard to tell someone "you're doing everything you are supposed to be doing and I kinda hate it and it's not your fault" without it sounding super weird. Case in point...it was just super weird. Admit it.
So there it was. I wanted to make sure he had a plan and according to our conversations, he did. And I realized that by going through with it I was probably going to watch my corpse get traded somewhere by a vulture team looking for that extra firepower for an Ultimus run.
Sidenote: it's weird that corpse is our accepted term and also weird that no one finds it weird. I can't imagine how that looks to anyone who stumbles across it without knowing the context. Or if someone realizes we have robots, women, and cyborg players in the league and then just assumes zombies are also eligible or something. Mutant League sim for the win.
I realized I didn't want to let go of Charlie just yet. Which brings us to......
THE TRADE PARTS
Me asking to be traded. Why? Because behind all of that stuff I just told you is enjoyment. Passion. A love of this sim and what we do. I have so much fun with this shit and with you people. That's why some might notice the dozen or so inside jokes spread through what would otherwise be a somewhat serious article.
Shout out to Kansas for not singing their lyrics correctly.
At the end of the day this hobby is fun for me. And I really enjoy my time here. Whether it be playing as Law or GMing or secretly being Dermot or redrafting the entire league or any other goofy shit we get up to, it doesn't matter. It's a lot of fun. And in the end it felt like closing the entire Law chapter and starting over was too much. I had a few bad breaks. Things didn't go my way. I wanted to keep going in THIS chapter. And that's why I asked Arbin to trade me, with a generic "its not you its me" and a promise to explain later. Because ultimately this is all a positive. And what I want is to not sit there being quietly unhappy at perfectly rational decisions because they weren't what I'd have done. What I want is to take what's happened up til now and then add more to the story. What I want is to put on new colors and let the frustration go. What I want is to take something I'll probably be asked a bunch and just write it all out for media money. :towel:
And here we are. I'm on the trade block. I'm finding something new. And now I'm sharing this so that everyone knows. Not just for myself. But because sometimes we need to be reminded that this game we play is a game. That it's supposed to be about fun. That it's easy to let ourself get angry at the idea that we have more passion than anyone else. Or that things aren't going well so we should pull some sort of huge stunt to let everyone know.
Sometimes it's as simple as thinking things through and deciding to change the environment. That's the wisdom I have to share from my own personal experience. I hope this was helpful. I know it was for me. I'm excited to see where I go and what happens next. Even if the Otters win and also have the simmer. :rofl:
And no. I am not currently pooping.
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