It’s just rough man.
I’ve only been in the league for two seasons and 4 weeks, but it feels like I’ve endured an entire career’s worth of games, drama, and everything in between. The Colorado Yeti, the squad that drafted me first overall in the S5 draft, just played the San Jose Sabercats in Week 4 of the NSFL season. We lost 33-9, at home in Denver. The loss set a milestone for me. It was my 30th loss of my career. In 32 games, my personal record is 2-30. That’s a lot of losing. Especially for a guy who’s just a big fan of winning, and has done so everywhere I’ve ever played, most notable Ohio State and Portland. Heck, even the Big 10 team in the college tourney brought me a lot of winning.
I took that attitude to Colorado this season, and I’m still just met with disappointment. In four games this season, I’ve caught EIGHT passes. EIGHT. I’ve gotten 73 yards. That used to be a really great half for me. Now it’s what I do in four games? Come on man. To nobody’s surprise, I still haven’t caught a touchdown yet either. Meanwhile, there’s rookie tight ends that already have 27 catches in this league. What the hell am I doing wrong? I’m easily the most gifted tight end in the league this side of the immortal Paul DiMirio. Much respect to that guy. And I know that I’ve had some bad luck with the team I was on, but even still, great players find ways to make plays no matter what. I just can’t seem to get anything going here, and its starting to cause me to almost, I don’t know, lose interest in football? I’ve missed some trainings here and there, and sometimes I take a week off now. I don’t mean to, I just, forget. I don’t like the person I’m becoming in this league, and I don’t know what else to change.
Let me be clear here. I know in the past, I’ve lost my mind at how terrible Nick Pierno was. How the team was just dog shit with no direction, and that made us the joke of the league. But this time, Colorado isn’t the problem. We NAILED this rebuild. I mean, look at this insane offense: Applehort at QB, future Hall of Famers in Dwayne Aaron (@Supersquare04) and Howard Miller (@`BenLongshaw`) at WR. And that’s not even including Mark Grau (@keanex), who’s yet again making the DSFL his personal bitch as he’s the leading WR there. That’s some insane Yeti firepower that no team is going to be able to properly cover as this team grows and the other teams in this league get older. We’re going to have the best three WRs in the entire league. Those three are going to be directly responsible for so many defensive coordinators losing their jobs, it won’t even be funny.
But the more I look at it, the more I’m realizing that I don’t really have a place here anymore. I feel almost like an outsider on my own team now. Those guys are the new Yeti. They represent the rebuild that will take the team to the level this franchise has been waiting for. I represent the failed rebuild. The one that had so much hope, but in reality just wasted everyone’s time. The rebuild that caused the Yeti to have to trade the best RB in NSFL history, Boss Tweed. The rebuild that gave us the embarrassment of an 0-14 season when we were supposed be contending for a playoff spot. I came into Colorado looking to be the game changing franchise player, and all I’ve done is disappoint on the field, and off of it.
It’s such a weird feeling. Whether the league likes it or not, the Colorado Yeti are coming. This rebuild was done the right way, and we nailed all of our draft picks. The core is strong. The locker room is fantastic, and everyone is positive. Yet at the same time, I feel like I don’t fully belong anymore to this squad. My performance is showing that. The Yeti have kind of gone in a different direction, and I truly wonder whether or not Carlito Crush fits into the future plans anymore.
It wasn’t for a lack of trying. During the offseason, I offered to change my training regiment to be more of a wide receiver type of player. Then we struck oil in the draft and got Miller AND Grau. I also offered to become the new quarterback. If others can do it in this league, surely I could do it! But no, management wasn’t a fan of that type of switch, and decided they’d rather step down than have me give it a go. Not wanting any more negative press surrounding the Yeti, I backed off of that idea. So, as a result, I’m still a tight end in a system that doesn’t seem to enjoy using a superstar at tight end. It’s frustrating for sure.
It’s still refreshing to not be mad at the team itself. Colorado is going to be a hot destination for a lot of free agents very soon. I’m just not entirely sure that it’s going to be the hottest destination for me anymore. Like I said, I’m not fitting in here, and I might be better off making a difference somewhere else in a system that needs someone of my talents. The less I perform here, the less I’ll feel like I should be giving a damn about football. I’m disgusted with how I’ve missed trainings and things that could help me improve. A change of scenery might help that, might reignite the fire that is truly starting to feel like its missing. That’s not a problem with Colorado either, that’s a problem with Carlito Crush. I’m trying to stay positive. I’ve been getting advice from many players, my father, and teammates on how to keep it going. Tough times are a part of the business. It’s up to me to figure out how to get through them. (1023)
Ready for Grading.
I’ve only been in the league for two seasons and 4 weeks, but it feels like I’ve endured an entire career’s worth of games, drama, and everything in between. The Colorado Yeti, the squad that drafted me first overall in the S5 draft, just played the San Jose Sabercats in Week 4 of the NSFL season. We lost 33-9, at home in Denver. The loss set a milestone for me. It was my 30th loss of my career. In 32 games, my personal record is 2-30. That’s a lot of losing. Especially for a guy who’s just a big fan of winning, and has done so everywhere I’ve ever played, most notable Ohio State and Portland. Heck, even the Big 10 team in the college tourney brought me a lot of winning.
I took that attitude to Colorado this season, and I’m still just met with disappointment. In four games this season, I’ve caught EIGHT passes. EIGHT. I’ve gotten 73 yards. That used to be a really great half for me. Now it’s what I do in four games? Come on man. To nobody’s surprise, I still haven’t caught a touchdown yet either. Meanwhile, there’s rookie tight ends that already have 27 catches in this league. What the hell am I doing wrong? I’m easily the most gifted tight end in the league this side of the immortal Paul DiMirio. Much respect to that guy. And I know that I’ve had some bad luck with the team I was on, but even still, great players find ways to make plays no matter what. I just can’t seem to get anything going here, and its starting to cause me to almost, I don’t know, lose interest in football? I’ve missed some trainings here and there, and sometimes I take a week off now. I don’t mean to, I just, forget. I don’t like the person I’m becoming in this league, and I don’t know what else to change.
Let me be clear here. I know in the past, I’ve lost my mind at how terrible Nick Pierno was. How the team was just dog shit with no direction, and that made us the joke of the league. But this time, Colorado isn’t the problem. We NAILED this rebuild. I mean, look at this insane offense: Applehort at QB, future Hall of Famers in Dwayne Aaron (@Supersquare04) and Howard Miller (@`BenLongshaw`) at WR. And that’s not even including Mark Grau (@keanex), who’s yet again making the DSFL his personal bitch as he’s the leading WR there. That’s some insane Yeti firepower that no team is going to be able to properly cover as this team grows and the other teams in this league get older. We’re going to have the best three WRs in the entire league. Those three are going to be directly responsible for so many defensive coordinators losing their jobs, it won’t even be funny.
But the more I look at it, the more I’m realizing that I don’t really have a place here anymore. I feel almost like an outsider on my own team now. Those guys are the new Yeti. They represent the rebuild that will take the team to the level this franchise has been waiting for. I represent the failed rebuild. The one that had so much hope, but in reality just wasted everyone’s time. The rebuild that caused the Yeti to have to trade the best RB in NSFL history, Boss Tweed. The rebuild that gave us the embarrassment of an 0-14 season when we were supposed be contending for a playoff spot. I came into Colorado looking to be the game changing franchise player, and all I’ve done is disappoint on the field, and off of it.
It’s such a weird feeling. Whether the league likes it or not, the Colorado Yeti are coming. This rebuild was done the right way, and we nailed all of our draft picks. The core is strong. The locker room is fantastic, and everyone is positive. Yet at the same time, I feel like I don’t fully belong anymore to this squad. My performance is showing that. The Yeti have kind of gone in a different direction, and I truly wonder whether or not Carlito Crush fits into the future plans anymore.
It wasn’t for a lack of trying. During the offseason, I offered to change my training regiment to be more of a wide receiver type of player. Then we struck oil in the draft and got Miller AND Grau. I also offered to become the new quarterback. If others can do it in this league, surely I could do it! But no, management wasn’t a fan of that type of switch, and decided they’d rather step down than have me give it a go. Not wanting any more negative press surrounding the Yeti, I backed off of that idea. So, as a result, I’m still a tight end in a system that doesn’t seem to enjoy using a superstar at tight end. It’s frustrating for sure.
It’s still refreshing to not be mad at the team itself. Colorado is going to be a hot destination for a lot of free agents very soon. I’m just not entirely sure that it’s going to be the hottest destination for me anymore. Like I said, I’m not fitting in here, and I might be better off making a difference somewhere else in a system that needs someone of my talents. The less I perform here, the less I’ll feel like I should be giving a damn about football. I’m disgusted with how I’ve missed trainings and things that could help me improve. A change of scenery might help that, might reignite the fire that is truly starting to feel like its missing. That’s not a problem with Colorado either, that’s a problem with Carlito Crush. I’m trying to stay positive. I’ve been getting advice from many players, my father, and teammates on how to keep it going. Tough times are a part of the business. It’s up to me to figure out how to get through them. (1023)
Ready for Grading.