08-27-2018, 11:04 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-28-2018, 12:44 PM by manicmav36.)
With 9 seasons and nearly 15 months of real-time history behind it, the NSFL has a wealth of stories to tell. For this series, however, I decided to try and tackle the biggest questions of them all. Who truly were the best (and worst) teams of all-time?
For part one of my multi-part series I decided to follow the sage wisdom of 37thchamber, “First the worst, second the best.” Now I could go through and make a list of teams using personal insights and expert opinions, but who wants to do that when you can use numbers? The methodology I used in determining these lists is pretty straight forward, I used the only statistic that matters… points. The first thing I noticed is that there’s actually some significant differences in points scored between seasons, so in order to find the worst offenses and defenses, I took the league’s average points scored/allowed for that season and compared it to a team’s average for a season. For example, SJS in allowed an average 26.7 points per game in both S2 and S5. The league average in S2 was 19.3, while S5 was nearly 7 points higher at 26.1. Therefore, SJS’s season 2 defense is rated worse.
My intent here is not to offend or belittle any one team or franchise, just to shed some light on an interesting part of the NSFL’s history.
Without further ado, let’s get started with the top 10 worst offenses of all-time.
#10) New Orleans Second Line: S6
Record: 2-11-1
Points per game: 17.1 (8.4 less than the league average)
Total Offense: 349.1 (4th in conference/7th in league)
Rushing Yards: 101.8 (1/4)
Passing Yards: 247.3 (4/7)
This was the inaugural season of our most recent champions, the New Orleans Second Line. After a mass retirement by some angry folks in Las Vegas, they packed up and moved to New Orleans looking a fresh start. Unfortunately, the team was reeling in the talent department, and it showed. Led by a first-year starter at QB, Borkus Maximus III, the Second Line leaned heavily on their run game to relieve some of the pressure. Although they finished 4th overall in rushing yards, they finished 2nd in attempts and tied for last in yards per carry. Notable standout wide receiver Dustin Evan managed to put forth a solid effort, finishing 7th in receptions, 5th in yards, and 14th in TDs, while rookie Poopyface Tomatonose (yes, his real name) finished with a stat line of 78/581/1, putting him at 2nd for yards and receptions among tight ends.
#9) Arizona Outlaws: S9
Record: 3-11
Points per game: 15.6 (9.2 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 313.4 (4/7)
Rushing Yards: 111.9 (3/5)
Passing Yards: 201.6 (4/7)
Honestly, I was a bit surprised to see this team make the cut. Sure they had a rough season, but from a quick glance, my assumption was it was more on the defense. I was wrong. First, let’s start with the backbone of every offense, the quarterback. S9 was the rookie season for Kevin Fitzpatrick, and as far as rookie seasons in the NSFL go, it was actually pretty ok. When you compare it to the rest of the league though, it gets a little rough. In fact, if not for the historically bad season from zombie Noble, Fitzpatrick would’ve ranked last in both yards (2822) and QB rating (64.8). He was actually last in INTs with 22. This team also has the distinction of being one of only a handful of teams to finish the season without a player above 900 receiving yards. Reg Mackworthy was a bright spot on the ground, but even that is a tad misleading. While he did finish with the 2nd most yards on the season, he did so mainly due to volume, finishing 5th in YPC among RBs with 230+ carries, and scoring only 4 times.
#8) Philadelphia Liberty: S9
Record: 4-10
Points per game: 15.6 (9.2 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 291.6 (4/8)
Rushing Yards: 108.2 (3/6)
Passing Yards: 183.4 (4/8)
The second of 3 (yes, 3!) teams from S9 to make an appearance, the Liberty came into the season with the goal of tanking for picks, and their offense sure as hell held up their end of the bargain. Trotting out a team of corpses with shocking efficiency, the Liberty showed the league how to effectively tank a season. They were able to finish a game with less than 10 points scored an impressive 6 times over the course of the season. Logan Noble showed zero signs of his former Pro Bowl self finishing last in yards (2567), completion percentage (47%), touchdowns (6), and QB rating (52.2), while finishing with a TD:INT ration of worse than 1:3. The Liberty were 1 of 2 teams during S9 to not have a player eclipse 1000 yards receiving (the other is also on this list), although Carter Bush did finish with 986. Former Offensive Rookie of the Year Darlane Farlane clearly missed the message on tanking though, as he finished with the 2nd most most rushing yards of his career (1264), and 4th most rushing yards overall in the league.
#7) Colorado Yeti: S3
Record: 3-11
Points per game: 13.0 (9.2 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 281.7 (4/8)
Rushing Yards: 123.9 (4/8)
Passing Yards: 157.8 (4/8)
The S3 Yeti saw the introduction of the first “true” mobile quarterback, Nicholas Pierno. Unfortunately, the S3 Yeti also saw the introduction of the worst quarterback ever. Pierno promised to bring something new and exciting to the league, and unfortunately, with one of the weakest offensive lines in the NSFL and a run heavy offense starring a stud in Tweed at running back, he routinely faced a stacked box. Teams made the Yeti throw to win, and that was something they just couldn’t do. Pierno finished last in passing yards (2209), completion percentage (48.7%), touchdowns (8) and interceptions (35, which is an all-time record), and QB rating 35.3. Most interesting, he did finish 2nd among QBs in rushing yards, but he finished with just 78 on the season. Boss Tweed was a massive bright spot on the squad however, finishing with the most rushing attempts (400), yards (1375), and tied for highest YPC of 3.4. (Keep in mind this is before the running slider changes.)
#6) Colorado Yeti: S4
Record: 1-13
Points per game: 12.5 (10.5 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 272.6 (4/7)
Rushing Yards: 96.5 (2/3)
Passing Yards: 176.1 (4/7)
Season #2 of the Pierno project and you would assume things would be better for the Yeti offense, right? Incorrect. Pierno himself did actually improve though, he finished 7th in yards (2466), 8th in completion percentage (52.2%), 8th in TDs (7), 7th in INTs (25), and 8th in QB rating (50.8), but the team as a whole took a step back. Unfortunately for the Yeti, Tweed took a step backward as well (albeit very tiny) and wasn’t quite as effective at bailing them out. After finishing with a league record 1375 yards the season before, he finished 3rd in the league with 1018 yards at 3.3 YPC. This offense was able to put up more than 21 points only once and is the lowest scoring offense in history. The only reason they aren’t higher on this list is because offense in the league as whole was pretty ineffective.
#5) Colorado Yeti: S6
Record: 0-14
Points per game: 14.1 (11.4 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 276.6 (4/8)
Rushing Yards: 136.9 (1/1)
Passing Yards: 139.6 (4/8)
A winless team coming in at #5? Ridiculous! …and it would be if it weren’t for one of the most dedicated run games in the history of the NSFL. With 520 rushing attempts on the season between Tweed, Pierno, and Joyce, the Yeti had over 25% more rushing attempts than the next team. Which would’ve been great if Pierno and Joyce were a little more like Tweed. Tweed averaged 4.1 YPC through 261 attempts, but Pierno and Joyce combined averaged just 3.3 YPC over 259 attempts. It didn’t help the run game at all that Pierno threw for only 1955 yards, the smallest amount by a QB to start all 14 games in a season. Never in the history of the NSFL has a team averaged more rushing yards than passing yards in a season, but the S6 Yeti came damn close. This season ended up being the final nail in the coffin for the Pierno project. He made the move to DT for S7 and proved to be far better there than the Yeti could’ve ever hoped.
#4) San Jose SaberCats: S9
Record: 2-12
Points per game: 13.1 (11.7 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 327.6
Rushing Yards: 121.3
Passing Yards: 206.4
The SaberCats knew S9 was going to be rough, but I don’t think anyone expected what followed. With Brad Pennington taking the helm for his second season, many expected him to take a big step forward, and he did. Unfortunately, his big step forward was from one of the worst seasons in league history, so he was still far below average. He was able to finish ahead of rookie Kevin Fitzpatrick and the reanimated Logan Noble, but was still clearly in the lower tier of QBs. Not all the blame can be pointed at Pennington though. Denzel Diaz finished 5th in rushing yards but was nearly 1/2 a yard per carry behind the 4 running backs ahead of him. It’s never easy throwing the ball when the defense doesn’t need to worry about it. An aging Shane Weston was a bright spot for the SaberCats though, finishing 8th in receiving yards and tied for 2nd in receptions.
#3) San Jose SaberCats: S8
Record: 1-13
Points per game: 13.6 (11.8 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 287.8 (4/8)
Rushing Yards: 69.1 (4/8)
Passing Yards: 218.4 (4/8)
Seeing how a Pennington lead team in his 2nd year came in at #4, it only makes sense that a team lead by a rookie Pennington would do just a little bit worse. He finished last in every statistical category tracked on the index for QBs except for completions, which he finished 7th. Much like S9 though, Pennington wasn’t all to blame. Denzel Diaz finished with a YPC of only 3.1, 1.4 YPC behind Darren Smallwood that season. While Weston and Jackson were a solid dup, nether could do enough to dig this team out of their offensive woes. Fun fact, this is 1 of only 2 teams to finish last in every offensive category, the other being the Yeti in S3.
#2) Colorado Yeti: S5
Record:
Points per game: 12.9 (13.2 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 270.5 (4/8)
Rushing Yards 130.7 (1/1)
Passing Yards: 139.8 (4/8)
Another spot on our list, another Pierno lead offense. If the history of the NSFL, there has been only 2 times a quarterback has started all 14 games and thrown for less than 2000 yards, and both are held by Nicholas Pierno. Beating his career low by just 2 yards, Pierno was able to finish the season with just 199 completions and only 4 TDs. The Yeti’s leading receiver that year, Kendrick Hendrix, finished with a mere 483 yards, the lowest amount for a team leading receiver ever. Boss Tweed once again did his best to bail out the Yeti offense but spent much of his season running against a stacked box.
#1) Colorado Yeti: S7
Record: 0-14
Points per game: 9.8 (15.7 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 255.6 (4/8)
Rushing Yards: 82.7 (4/7)
Passing Yards: 173.6 (4/8)
Well, here it is... the worst offense in the history of the NSFL. This Yeti offense struggled so mightily, they scored 7 or less points in 6 games (nearly half the season!) After spending 4 long seasons with Pierno under center, the Yeti decided to burn it to the ground and start over. With the addition of big name rookies Ryan Applehort and Howard Miller, the Yeti front office was cautiously optimistic about their offense for the future, and with good reason. Unfortunately, if this list has taught us anything, it’s that if you have a rookie QB, you’re going to have a bad offense. Even worse for the Yeti, they no longer had Boss Tweed to lean on and bail them out on the ground and were rocking a 2nd year and rookie receiver as their #1 and #2. Bubba Nuck did his best but, in the new pass heavy Yeti offense, he just couldn’t muster enough. All this combined led to the lowest scoring offense and least total yards in NSFL history.
Final Tally:
Colorado Yeti: 5
San Jose SaberCats: 2
Arizona Outlaws: 1
New Orleans Second Line: 1
Philapelphia Liberty: 1
For part one of my multi-part series I decided to follow the sage wisdom of 37thchamber, “First the worst, second the best.” Now I could go through and make a list of teams using personal insights and expert opinions, but who wants to do that when you can use numbers? The methodology I used in determining these lists is pretty straight forward, I used the only statistic that matters… points. The first thing I noticed is that there’s actually some significant differences in points scored between seasons, so in order to find the worst offenses and defenses, I took the league’s average points scored/allowed for that season and compared it to a team’s average for a season. For example, SJS in allowed an average 26.7 points per game in both S2 and S5. The league average in S2 was 19.3, while S5 was nearly 7 points higher at 26.1. Therefore, SJS’s season 2 defense is rated worse.
My intent here is not to offend or belittle any one team or franchise, just to shed some light on an interesting part of the NSFL’s history.
Without further ado, let’s get started with the top 10 worst offenses of all-time.
#10) New Orleans Second Line: S6
Record: 2-11-1
Points per game: 17.1 (8.4 less than the league average)
Total Offense: 349.1 (4th in conference/7th in league)
Rushing Yards: 101.8 (1/4)
Passing Yards: 247.3 (4/7)
This was the inaugural season of our most recent champions, the New Orleans Second Line. After a mass retirement by some angry folks in Las Vegas, they packed up and moved to New Orleans looking a fresh start. Unfortunately, the team was reeling in the talent department, and it showed. Led by a first-year starter at QB, Borkus Maximus III, the Second Line leaned heavily on their run game to relieve some of the pressure. Although they finished 4th overall in rushing yards, they finished 2nd in attempts and tied for last in yards per carry. Notable standout wide receiver Dustin Evan managed to put forth a solid effort, finishing 7th in receptions, 5th in yards, and 14th in TDs, while rookie Poopyface Tomatonose (yes, his real name) finished with a stat line of 78/581/1, putting him at 2nd for yards and receptions among tight ends.
#9) Arizona Outlaws: S9
Record: 3-11
Points per game: 15.6 (9.2 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 313.4 (4/7)
Rushing Yards: 111.9 (3/5)
Passing Yards: 201.6 (4/7)
Honestly, I was a bit surprised to see this team make the cut. Sure they had a rough season, but from a quick glance, my assumption was it was more on the defense. I was wrong. First, let’s start with the backbone of every offense, the quarterback. S9 was the rookie season for Kevin Fitzpatrick, and as far as rookie seasons in the NSFL go, it was actually pretty ok. When you compare it to the rest of the league though, it gets a little rough. In fact, if not for the historically bad season from zombie Noble, Fitzpatrick would’ve ranked last in both yards (2822) and QB rating (64.8). He was actually last in INTs with 22. This team also has the distinction of being one of only a handful of teams to finish the season without a player above 900 receiving yards. Reg Mackworthy was a bright spot on the ground, but even that is a tad misleading. While he did finish with the 2nd most yards on the season, he did so mainly due to volume, finishing 5th in YPC among RBs with 230+ carries, and scoring only 4 times.
#8) Philadelphia Liberty: S9
Record: 4-10
Points per game: 15.6 (9.2 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 291.6 (4/8)
Rushing Yards: 108.2 (3/6)
Passing Yards: 183.4 (4/8)
The second of 3 (yes, 3!) teams from S9 to make an appearance, the Liberty came into the season with the goal of tanking for picks, and their offense sure as hell held up their end of the bargain. Trotting out a team of corpses with shocking efficiency, the Liberty showed the league how to effectively tank a season. They were able to finish a game with less than 10 points scored an impressive 6 times over the course of the season. Logan Noble showed zero signs of his former Pro Bowl self finishing last in yards (2567), completion percentage (47%), touchdowns (6), and QB rating (52.2), while finishing with a TD:INT ration of worse than 1:3. The Liberty were 1 of 2 teams during S9 to not have a player eclipse 1000 yards receiving (the other is also on this list), although Carter Bush did finish with 986. Former Offensive Rookie of the Year Darlane Farlane clearly missed the message on tanking though, as he finished with the 2nd most most rushing yards of his career (1264), and 4th most rushing yards overall in the league.
#7) Colorado Yeti: S3
Record: 3-11
Points per game: 13.0 (9.2 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 281.7 (4/8)
Rushing Yards: 123.9 (4/8)
Passing Yards: 157.8 (4/8)
The S3 Yeti saw the introduction of the first “true” mobile quarterback, Nicholas Pierno. Unfortunately, the S3 Yeti also saw the introduction of the worst quarterback ever. Pierno promised to bring something new and exciting to the league, and unfortunately, with one of the weakest offensive lines in the NSFL and a run heavy offense starring a stud in Tweed at running back, he routinely faced a stacked box. Teams made the Yeti throw to win, and that was something they just couldn’t do. Pierno finished last in passing yards (2209), completion percentage (48.7%), touchdowns (8) and interceptions (35, which is an all-time record), and QB rating 35.3. Most interesting, he did finish 2nd among QBs in rushing yards, but he finished with just 78 on the season. Boss Tweed was a massive bright spot on the squad however, finishing with the most rushing attempts (400), yards (1375), and tied for highest YPC of 3.4. (Keep in mind this is before the running slider changes.)
#6) Colorado Yeti: S4
Record: 1-13
Points per game: 12.5 (10.5 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 272.6 (4/7)
Rushing Yards: 96.5 (2/3)
Passing Yards: 176.1 (4/7)
Season #2 of the Pierno project and you would assume things would be better for the Yeti offense, right? Incorrect. Pierno himself did actually improve though, he finished 7th in yards (2466), 8th in completion percentage (52.2%), 8th in TDs (7), 7th in INTs (25), and 8th in QB rating (50.8), but the team as a whole took a step back. Unfortunately for the Yeti, Tweed took a step backward as well (albeit very tiny) and wasn’t quite as effective at bailing them out. After finishing with a league record 1375 yards the season before, he finished 3rd in the league with 1018 yards at 3.3 YPC. This offense was able to put up more than 21 points only once and is the lowest scoring offense in history. The only reason they aren’t higher on this list is because offense in the league as whole was pretty ineffective.
#5) Colorado Yeti: S6
Record: 0-14
Points per game: 14.1 (11.4 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 276.6 (4/8)
Rushing Yards: 136.9 (1/1)
Passing Yards: 139.6 (4/8)
A winless team coming in at #5? Ridiculous! …and it would be if it weren’t for one of the most dedicated run games in the history of the NSFL. With 520 rushing attempts on the season between Tweed, Pierno, and Joyce, the Yeti had over 25% more rushing attempts than the next team. Which would’ve been great if Pierno and Joyce were a little more like Tweed. Tweed averaged 4.1 YPC through 261 attempts, but Pierno and Joyce combined averaged just 3.3 YPC over 259 attempts. It didn’t help the run game at all that Pierno threw for only 1955 yards, the smallest amount by a QB to start all 14 games in a season. Never in the history of the NSFL has a team averaged more rushing yards than passing yards in a season, but the S6 Yeti came damn close. This season ended up being the final nail in the coffin for the Pierno project. He made the move to DT for S7 and proved to be far better there than the Yeti could’ve ever hoped.
#4) San Jose SaberCats: S9
Record: 2-12
Points per game: 13.1 (11.7 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 327.6
Rushing Yards: 121.3
Passing Yards: 206.4
The SaberCats knew S9 was going to be rough, but I don’t think anyone expected what followed. With Brad Pennington taking the helm for his second season, many expected him to take a big step forward, and he did. Unfortunately, his big step forward was from one of the worst seasons in league history, so he was still far below average. He was able to finish ahead of rookie Kevin Fitzpatrick and the reanimated Logan Noble, but was still clearly in the lower tier of QBs. Not all the blame can be pointed at Pennington though. Denzel Diaz finished 5th in rushing yards but was nearly 1/2 a yard per carry behind the 4 running backs ahead of him. It’s never easy throwing the ball when the defense doesn’t need to worry about it. An aging Shane Weston was a bright spot for the SaberCats though, finishing 8th in receiving yards and tied for 2nd in receptions.
#3) San Jose SaberCats: S8
Record: 1-13
Points per game: 13.6 (11.8 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 287.8 (4/8)
Rushing Yards: 69.1 (4/8)
Passing Yards: 218.4 (4/8)
Seeing how a Pennington lead team in his 2nd year came in at #4, it only makes sense that a team lead by a rookie Pennington would do just a little bit worse. He finished last in every statistical category tracked on the index for QBs except for completions, which he finished 7th. Much like S9 though, Pennington wasn’t all to blame. Denzel Diaz finished with a YPC of only 3.1, 1.4 YPC behind Darren Smallwood that season. While Weston and Jackson were a solid dup, nether could do enough to dig this team out of their offensive woes. Fun fact, this is 1 of only 2 teams to finish last in every offensive category, the other being the Yeti in S3.
#2) Colorado Yeti: S5
Record:
Points per game: 12.9 (13.2 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 270.5 (4/8)
Rushing Yards 130.7 (1/1)
Passing Yards: 139.8 (4/8)
Another spot on our list, another Pierno lead offense. If the history of the NSFL, there has been only 2 times a quarterback has started all 14 games and thrown for less than 2000 yards, and both are held by Nicholas Pierno. Beating his career low by just 2 yards, Pierno was able to finish the season with just 199 completions and only 4 TDs. The Yeti’s leading receiver that year, Kendrick Hendrix, finished with a mere 483 yards, the lowest amount for a team leading receiver ever. Boss Tweed once again did his best to bail out the Yeti offense but spent much of his season running against a stacked box.
#1) Colorado Yeti: S7
Record: 0-14
Points per game: 9.8 (15.7 points less than the league average)
Total Offense: 255.6 (4/8)
Rushing Yards: 82.7 (4/7)
Passing Yards: 173.6 (4/8)
Well, here it is... the worst offense in the history of the NSFL. This Yeti offense struggled so mightily, they scored 7 or less points in 6 games (nearly half the season!) After spending 4 long seasons with Pierno under center, the Yeti decided to burn it to the ground and start over. With the addition of big name rookies Ryan Applehort and Howard Miller, the Yeti front office was cautiously optimistic about their offense for the future, and with good reason. Unfortunately, if this list has taught us anything, it’s that if you have a rookie QB, you’re going to have a bad offense. Even worse for the Yeti, they no longer had Boss Tweed to lean on and bail them out on the ground and were rocking a 2nd year and rookie receiver as their #1 and #2. Bubba Nuck did his best but, in the new pass heavy Yeti offense, he just couldn’t muster enough. All this combined led to the lowest scoring offense and least total yards in NSFL history.
Final Tally:
Colorado Yeti: 5
San Jose SaberCats: 2
Arizona Outlaws: 1
New Orleans Second Line: 1
Philapelphia Liberty: 1
[OPTION]Johnny Snuggles || CB || Yellowknife Wraiths || Hall of Fame [OPTION]Height/Weight: 6'1", 205 [OPTION]Number: 21 [OPTION] Draft History: S13 #1 Overall [OPTION]=========================================== [OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:[OPTION] Ultimini Champs: S12 [OPTION] Defensive Rookie of the Year: S13 [OPTION] Pro Bowl: S14, S15, S16