Ultimus Week - S10

[Justice]

SHL PT

ROBBED

After giving a quick look over the standings and everything that the Wraiths had in their possession, there's no question to me that they should have been a playoff contender. On their roster they just have intangibles that a lot of teams who did make the playoffs were lacking, and when they did manage to show up for a win, they really came with the heat. The Yetis fought hard throughout their season, and while they have the points to prove that they deserve to be in the playoffs, it is just hard for me to wrap my head around them sneaking in over the Wraiths. I am sure that going 8 and 6 but missing out on any playoff football will be a tough pill for the Wraiths to swallow, and it can be assured they'll come back next season with a chip on their shoulder and a real drive to come back and secure a spot in the playoffs. The Wraiths have a lot of up and coming talent coming through the pipeline to look forward to, and that on top of them already being a playoff caliber team in my opinion will ensure that they'll truly be a weapon next season, and having a high pick in the draft will ensure the security of their future even more.


UNSUNG HERO

Haruki Ishigawa from the Colorado Yetis will be my personal pick for unsung hero this playoff season. While quarterbacks, wide receivers and running backs always get the shine and stardom for their offensive plays, it is always a little harder for the linebackers to shine through and get the recognition they deserve so much. Ishigawa recorded an astonishing 17 tackles in his best playoff appearance, and without his pure, raw strength and effort I am not sure that the Yetis defense would have been able to hang on so well throughout their playoff games. The Yetis do not by any means have the strongest roster you will find throughout these playoff statistics, but Haruki Ishigawa fought tooth and nail to make sure that his team held a chance. You can look at any amount of plays he managed to pull off in clutch situations, especially when he was had a late game audible that allowed the Yetis defense to stifle Ramero into a situation that prevented them from gaining any points through a field goal or even worse, a touchdown. Haruki Ishigawa is truly one of those essential players you just have to have on your roster if you are looking to make a deep, effective playoff run.



NEW TALENT

It is without a doubt that the Carter Bush trade that sent him to the Hawks from the Philadelphia Liberty proved to be the most effective trade that rippled into these playoffs. While it being an obvious rental trade sparked plenty of controversy and conversation in the league, it is impossible to deny that the Hawks already talent heavy roster did not become far and away the most talented, quality team in the league when they made the move to acquire Carter Bush, and given Carter Bush's highly notable performance in the championship game that found him racking up 102 yards including a touchdown, it is hard to say whether or not the Hawks would have had what it takes to pull off a championship win without him. Whether you have negative or positive opinions on rental trades and whether or not they have a welcome place in the NSFL, it should be admirable how the Hawks used this rental trade to their advantage to land an absolutely key player in Carter Bush, especially given how critical he was in securing the victory in the finals. Carter Bush will certainly be leaving in the offseason, but I would still say the rental trade was worth it.

[ml002]

1. SHL PT

2. Unsung Hero: The unsung hero of the S10 playoffs is Owen Taylor of the Balitmore Hawks. While the Hawks high-flying passing attack will be the headlines for many, Taylor's work on the ground set the stage for that attack as in first game against the Yeti's he accounted for 138 yards on the ground plus another 46 yards through the air (on a team leading 7 receptions). In the following game, Taylor accounted for another 123 yards as the Hawks went on to be the NSFL Champions. Over the two games Taylor accounted for 317 yards of offense, which was a little over 31% of the Hawks offense, which is second to only their QB Blocksdale. While the quarterback will gain all the plaudits for the team's chip, Taylor set the stage by being the second largest contributor to the offense and allowed the passing game to be as deadly as it was. Some may point to his zero touchdowns, but he sacrificed the touchdowns to give his team the best chance to win games and ended up winning the Ultimus. While Taylor's name might not go down in NSFL history for this run, he was one of the key cogs to help his team reach the promised land and deserves credit for the overall team's success.

3.

[AW13]

1. PBE PT

The following will be done on DSFL playoffs
2. That Magic Moment -
Down by 5 with a few minutes left against BOT team Norfolk, it was then and there that Joliet L. Christ would cement his name as one of the more clutch Quarterbacks in the DSFL while he played there. While his career is now over, this was a special moment for both the Pythons and the young signal-caller. He marched the team down the field, throwing for around 80 yards and 5 completions in 5 attempts to bring the team over the top. What was most impressive is that while he did bring this drive all the way in for a touchdown, he did it while having amazing clock awareness as well. Yes, a lot of that is on the Portland coaching staff, but the pace and knowing who to throw the ball to and when to throw it speaks a lot for the young man out of the University of South Dakota. Christ was congratulated by teammates and other NSFL players on the drive that sealed the deal for Portland to go on to the title game and play Tijuana for the Ultimini. The San Jose Sabercats are hoping to get the same kind of clutch performances from Joliet and time will tell on that but one thing is certain, he certainly made himself known at least in the DSFL for the performance on that one drive.
3. Playoff Review -
For this, I will focus on the playoff review for the Portland Pythons, the team I both co-GMed for and quarterbacked for this season and throughout these playoffs. No, it did not go as planned and again, another loss in the title game to Tijuana is something that will hurt throughout the off-season but it is no reason to feel down forever. Things started out a little rough in the first round for the Pythons, facing a deficite late in the 4th quarter against a surprising Norfolk team, the Pythons looked like maybe the road was ending and a BOT team would head into the championship game to compete for the Ultimini. As mentioned above in "That Magic Moment," Joliet L. Christ was the man and led the team on a tremendous drive to take the lead and win the game, it was one of the best drives I have witnessed in the DSFL and I am fortunate to have been for my player. Now, on to the Ultimini, it might have been best if Norfolk went instead of Portland. We lost big. 37-7 and a lot of this is due to the fact that the Pythons did not want to air it out much in this game. When you have a star QB like Joliet L. Christ, you need to utilize him. Portland is filled with star players and unfortunately, being on the road and going away from the past did them in. Congratulations to Tijuana on a great season as they showed they deserved it by beating a very talented Portland squad.
4.

[ralams123]

[bovovovo]

ROBBED

The yellowknife wraiths wre robbed why you ask well I will tell you why it is because they should have made the playoffs instead of the yeti because the yeti went all in on this season for some reason but it just did not work out quite unfortunately and now they won't be very good again but the wraiths oh yes the wraiths now this is a team that is on the up and up you know yes on the up and up indeed this is a team that is on the up and up and they deserved t omake the playoffs you know they earned it they worked hard and bzerkap worked hard and they deserved it the yeti have like two actives so congrats a bunch of inactives got to experience the joy of making the playoffs and not the wraiths with all of their actives so sad that is why the wraiths deserved it I think and that is my opinion and I am sticking to it yes that is my opinion my other opinion is that 200 words is far to long for ultimus week that's so many words I cannot even count how many words that is this is ridiculous.

(205)

NEW TALENT

The carter bush to baltimore hawks trade had the biggest effect because this was a no fair corrupt trade which should not have happened and the ho is corrupt and full of hawk sympathizers for allowing it to happen rental trades are ruining the league yes I do declare that rental trades are indeed ruining the league and causing me to go inactive thats right I bovo vo vo ovovo hereby declare that I bovovo ov ov ovo am going inactive as of right now because rental trades are ruining the league and the liberty are corrupt losers and the hawks are corrupt losers and the head office are corrupt losers and everybody is a corrupt loser except for me and that is why I am leaving yes leaving forever and taking my qb with me because I am just so enraged by these rental trades that I can't even I literally can not even right now I am SHAKING at the thought of these rental trades literally sitting at my computer and shaking because I just cannot even these rental trades are triggigering me and let it be know the hawks could not win the ultimus without resorting to underhand corrupt tacctics such as rental trades.

(208)

PLAYOFF SERIES MVP

The MVP that stands for most valuable player by the way for those who did not know that just in case you did not actually know what MVP stands for it actually stands for most valuable player the more you know am I right so remember that now you know what MVP stands for it stands for most valuable player just in case you didn't know that MVP stands for most valuable person oh wait did you see what I did there I tricked you making sure you're awake and paying attention you know what I mean MVP stands for most valuable player and the most valuable player in the ultimus game was turk turkleton this dude kicked so many field goals I lost count I don't think anybody even knows how many field goals he made it is literally uncountable how many field goals he made in that game it was insane I cannot believe it that is why turk the turk turkeleton is the mvp of the ultimus and remember mvp stands for the most valuable player so turk turkelton was the most valuable player for the hawks in the ultimus championship playoff series game by the way in football they're called games not series get this baseball crap outta here.

(215)

CHAMPIONSHIP RECAP

the championship game was the worst the worst game ever I say actualyl it was really a pretty good game which was nice its always nice to have an exciting game happen you know what I mean nobody likes blow outs in the championships so it was nice that it was a good game and ti was a good game the only thing that would have made the game even better in my humble opinion would be if the new orleans second line won instead of the baltimore hawks but the baltimore hawks are a good team and I respect them so I respect that they won but the game was the worst never forget that nola ran the ball with one minute left in the game from 4th and 11 while down a touchdown I mean are you serious what was even happening there but oh well we were underdogs either way and I was happy just to be there it was a good game and I am glad that it was a good game and not a blow out I was worried it was going to be a blow out so I am glad that it was not yes indeed very much.

(204)

[AdamS]

GOING TO DISNEYLAND
The MVP of the Ultimus should be obvious. The winning quarterback?? No. Blocksdale actually got outdueled by his opponent. Okay, what about Owen Taylor? Well, the uncrowned and actually deserving S9 MVP was great this game for sure. He didn't really have the biggest impact, though. In the end, the MVP of the Ultimus can really only be placed on the shoulders of one man. A long suffering, hard working staple of the entire Baltimore Hawks history. Turk Turkleton. Yes, the kicker is the MVP.

Turkleton was perfect on the day with 5 field goals and 2 extra points. Not always an easy proposition for NSFL kickers and yet on the biggest stage it was Turkleton who drove home more than half of his team's points when the Second Lien stopped the rest of the offense over and over again. He wasn't done there though. He repeatedly boomed punts and kickoffs with such ferocity that the Second Line began more than half their possessions at or inside their own 20. Not an easy feat by any means and it certainly changed the complexion of the game that he was also busy deciding in the scoreboard. When his storied career is said and done, Baltimore fans should remember that ti was their long underappreciated kicker who drove home their first championship.



THAT MAGIC MOMENT
It was the most tense of situations. Less than three minutes remaining in the fourth quarter of the Ultimus Championship. The Second Line was down by 6 and had the ball just inside the Hawks' side of the field. Arguably the best Quarterback on the planet lined up behind one of the most prolific offenses in team history. A touchdown would tie the game and hopefully an extra point would give them the lead and give them their best chance to win the trophy for the second year in a row.

On first down Maximus couldn't find anyone and had to let go of the ball as the Hawks' pass rush barrelled towards him with reckless abandon. Yet clearly he'd seen something. Coming to the line again, Borkus surveyed the field and......took off running. He'd successfully done it a few plays prior, though and the defense was waiting. Arbin Asipi Jr dropped him behind the line for a one yard loss, no doubt thinking it was skill and not another in a series of never ending gifts that defined his career, if one could call it that. The son of a champion who was handed everything and bounced from team to team before managing to accidentally land on one that would win the Ultimus, then being able to actually be gifted a tackle due to a quarterback run in a situation where it made no sense.

Third down and 11 saw Borkus quickly rifle a pass to Ardea Savea. It was dropped. Everything ratcheted up to the nth degree, which is slightly more than the mth degree. The Second Line had to go for it. It was 4th and 11 for literally everything at the Hawks' 46. The ball was handed off to Darren Smallwood who ran for 5 yards. On 4th and 11. In the last 2 minutes of the Ultimus. While trailing. The creators of New Coke breathed a sigh of relief for finally, someone had fucked it up worse than they had.



NEW TALENT
It's not every day that a world class WR drops into the lap of a title contender for pennies on the dollar with an explicitly public understanding that this was to be a partial season rental of said player, who agreed to re-sign with the team that had traded him at the end of the season. But it happened.

In a move that would make the Mafia incredulous, Carter Bush spent exactly 2 months as a member of the Baltimore Hawks roster, where his pass catching clearly helped put them over the top and into the playoffs before eventually hoisting the trophy as Ultimus Champions. It was the kind of plan that could only be topped by a player moving teams at the trade deadline with paying lip service to re-signing and then instantly going back to his old team while trying to sneakily take other members of his new team with him back to his old team.

We didn't reach out to the Hawks or Liberty for a comment because we don't really need to. They played by the rules. And there's no such rule as collusion among conference rivals. They were not double dealing snakes. Which is a credit to them, the Liberty and WR Carter Bush. A credit in the shape of the Ultimus Trophy.



PLAYOFF REVIEW
ASFC Championship
The lowest scoring playoff games on record from two teams known for their offenses. It was rough. Defenses ruled the entire game as neither team could get much of anything going. Neither team even got past the 50 yard line for the entire first quarter. Penalties derailed multiple drives. This is the kind of ugly, dirty game that both teams would love to forget happened. And all brought to you by sponsors who paid millions of dollars to attach their names to the game. Exciting!

NSFC Championship
It had to be like a recurring nightmare for the Yeti. They'd made the playoffs for the second year in a row and found themselves in Baltimore. Again. They manged to hold the lead. Again. With time left in the 4th quarter they were in position to stop the Hawks form scoring and have a chance to win. Again. Then the Hawks slowly drove down the field for five and a half minutes before kicking a field goal that might as well have been a dagger through the heart to Yeti players and fans. This was the kind of torture not even the US Government would sanction. And it ended with the hawks going to the Ultimus. Again.

Ultimus Championship
The Second Line started fast, scoring 10 in the first ten minutes of the game. The teams went back and forth with the team from New Orleans holding their lead. Then, Turk Turkleton meticulously kicked the shit out of their championship hopes, one swing of his golden foot at a time. The Second Line offense did their best to keep putting points on the board and the defense did theirs to keep the Hawks out of the end zone as often as humanly possible. In the end, a run on 4th and 11 that makes no Earthly sense was the deciding factor that sealed the game and the Hawks first Ultimus win.

[Phobospwns]

ROBBED

How in the world did they Yellowknife Wraiths fall so short in a season when they likely should have been championship contenders, not to mention even managing to sneak into the playoffs. You've got a team of winners on that Wraiths squad who have the physical and mental makeup of champions, and yet, after the games were played, it was a team like the Colorado Yeti who were the ones holding a ticket to the big dance while the Wraiths sat outside the parking lot, wishing they were dressed to the nines. Not to take anything away from the Yeti, they played their games, and they earned the right to the post season fair and square, but when it comes to “on paper”, they should have been on the outside looking in. In the words of Chris Berman, “that’s why they play the game”. In my mind there is no doubt that the 8-6 record can only be seen as an underachievement for the Yellowknife squad. The question now becomes, will this be the type of season that crushes the spirit of the unit moving forward, or can they re-group to get back to a level where they should probably be?

(201)

PLAYOFF SERIES MVP

Being a member of the New Orleans Second Line myself, I am going to take a look at their clash with the Erie County Otters when examining the Most Valuable Player award for a specific series. That player, to me, was Borkus Maximus III. Borkus managed to amass 236 yards through the air (completing 26 of his 46 attempts throughout the game), and a single touchdown strike. Sure, those numbers don’t pop off the screen, but how often does a QB put up 400+ yards only to lose the game? You have to examine it within the context of the contest itself. When you consider he completed passes to 7 different players, it’s clear that he was playing point guard in getting his skilled players the ball, and enabling them to make enough plays to win (not to mention his lone TD pass was the winner in the contest). To boot, he also racked up yards on the ground himself, scrambling 7 times to the tune of 44 yards, ending the day with a YPC number that RBs would be jealous of (6.3). His ability to manage the game intelligently and calmly within the system is what led to a Second Line win, and thus, he’s my MVP for that game.

(211)

CHAMPIONSHIP RECAP

The championship game represented a hell of a roller coaster ride for both squads, and for anyone at home watching. Of course the New Orleans Second Line jumped out to that early ten point lead over the opposing Baltimore Hawks, giving the former a comfortable position for a moment. That feeling of being in the driver seat wouldn’t last long; however, as the Hawks were able to bring back a touchdown merely 2 minutes later, cutting the lead back down to 7. NOLA, not to be outdone at the moment, managed to go back up by double digits in the second quarter, but the slow burn of three straight field goal conversions by the Hawks brought them back within a single point. 3 wasn’t enough for the Hawks’ Turkleton, though… a fourth and fifth field goal let to a brick by brick lead for the Hawks (of course with a Willie-Blocksdale TD was a big part of the win). Maximus, for as good as a player as he is, just wasn’t able to keep pace with the leg of Turkleton, his 3 TD falling short at the final whistle, with penalties (5 for 45 yards) only serving to make the climb steeper. A great game all in all, the Hawks’ slow grind outlasting the Second Line efforts brought them the W.

(221)

GOING TO DISNEYLAND

As I mentioned in the championship game recap, it was the leg of the Baltimore Hawks’ kicker, Turk Turkleton, that put the game on ice for his squad. In a league where you do not often see a kicker go a perfect 5 of 5 (with the addition of two extra points following two Baltimore touchdowns), Turk was able to do so on the biggest stage in nSFL football: The Ultimus Championship. Being a defender, I honestly can say that I cannot even imagine the pressure that he must have felt as he stepped up to take those kicks. I would imagine that with each ensuing conversion, the next kick would become more difficult than the last. Thoughts of “am I due for a miss, will it be this kick that I botch?” must have been running through his head, all the louder on the final of the 5.

Of course, Turk Turkleton isn’t just the place kicker for the Baltimore Hawks, he does double duty as the punter. Field position was a big factor in the day, with the NOLA second line starting half their possessions inside their own 20. One kick off the side of the foot, or even worse, a single blocked punt, could have changed the entire outlook of the game. Yet, as with his field goal kicking, Turk was unflinching.

His combined efforts were a huge factor in the Hawks’ first championship, and in a world where QBs get all the glory, Turk ruled the day.

(251)

[Blastmeaway]

SHL PT 5
PBE PT 7-3



Interview with Rookie CB Bobson Dugnut
- How was the atmosphere in Tijuana going into their 4th straight Ultimini?

The atmosphere could only be described in one word, sauced. We know we’re the best, the other teams know we’re the best, so why try and hide it? We embraced the championship calling and binge drank the entire week of practice. We all downed some tequila to loosen the joints up before the game. I’d say it went pretty well.

- How was prepared was the Team?

Well our definition of preparation is way different than most teams. I feel like many outside observers would say we weren’t prepared at all, but we already faced these guys several times in the regular season. What more could they change by the championship? We knew what was necessary and championship week was all about preparing to take it easy. Rest up and win the game.

- How many Titties did the team go through after the victory?

You saw my previous two answers right? Since Thad’s Tijuana Tequila Titties are one of our official sponsors the golden nectar was flowing like water. We had a lot.

- Where do you see yourself landing in the draft?

Not sure, no one has reached out to me yet, but if it’s anything like the DSFL, I’m sure I’ll go to the best team in the league and win a few more championships. Easy.

[Kendrick]

Future Talent:


Conference Final MVP Sig:


Championship Banner:


Unsung Hero:

[Radsin]

Championship Game Recap:

The Ultimini, the most prestigious championship in in the DSFL. Come from Portland we have none other than The Portland Pythons. They were the favorite to win coming into the play offs, but after a close match up at home against a bot team none other, they strapped up on the road in Tijuana against those damn Luchadores. The Luchadores had a STRONG finish to the season granting them home field advantage through out the playoffs. The tables had turned and many saw them as the favorites to bring home the Ultimini. Now it was time, and to start out the Pythons struck early putting up 7 Points with a bit less than eleven minutes on the clock.

Things were looking great, nobody had any clue that this would be the only time they put up any points. From that point forward it was a repeat of the Marshal game but much much worse. That running back duo absolutely slaughter the Snake Boys with Roronora putting up 93 yards on 18 carries with THREE touch downs! Flores did quiet well himself with 29 carries, and 114 yards for 2 more tuddys!. These guys accounted for 5 touchdowns and over 200 yards of offense, not even counting receptions, but They didn't have any anyway. Portland got SMOKED Congrats Luchadores!

Final Score 37 - 7

222 Words


Playoff Series MVP:

For the series I decided to cover the Luchadore vs Marshal game, and to be honest. I couldn't pick from just one player because the fact of the matter is, there were two guys who brought this game home. The running duo of Zoro Roronoa and Ricky Flores. Harvey Kindle was over heard saying this after the big play off blow out.

"They got us" Kindle said of Roronoa and Flores. "That duo fucking BOOMBED us." Kindle added "They so good." Repeating it four times. Kindle then said he wanted to add the duo to the list of players he would smoke out during the summer.

Its safe to say this duo brought some hardships to the entire team. Roroana ran the ball for 115 yards on 20 carries, while his counter part Flores ran 18 times for 90 and two touchdowns. They were basically unstoppable and, the Marshal offense just could not come close to keeping up. There were many players who qualified for a player of the game, hell over half the team put up stellar numbers, but you can't discount an extremely efficient run game. It honestly seemed like they didn't have to throw the ball if they didn't want to, and that what separates them from the pack.

212 Words

SHL PT

PBE PT