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2895 words - Don't grade yet pls, after Ultimus Update
With the league abuzz thanks to one of the biggest draft classes its ever seen, one aspect has stood out: an influx of users playing offensive line.
This may not seem unusual for new members but for a long time this league didn't have a single user playing on the offensive line. In Seasons 1 and 2 a lot of dedicated members played there but were rapidly having their interest in the league sapped so there was a structural change in the league that allowed teams to purchase OL Bots they could customize. For a decade or so that was the way of the league until a brave user by the name of @Alkaiid created one in the Season 13 class. That was followed the next season by @Ape. As best I can tell, those are the only users to play Offensive Line since the introduction of bots and they are both in the DSFL.
With this new class, however, that number is up to 7. @Furrand, @Vedin, @VossSauce14, @PaytonM34, and myself all created offensive linemen and this is super cool since everybody else is an OL hater so one of the things I'm going to try to do (I'm flaky so no promises) is to highlight the progress of these 5 brave, amazing users throughout their NSFL journey to try to make our careers a bit more interesting.
First up is PDX's Prospect Bowl which he better get paid hella money for considering how much time he's put into it just so that new users have something to do during the offseason. I know he put a bunch of hours into this so pay the man.
So we're all on different teams which should make this fun. What I'm going to do is check each game during the Prospect Bowl to see which of us is the last one to not allow a sack. Through our first games, none of us have so we're all still alive.
Furrand's player, Rahm Kota, is on the Midwest Wolfpack and is ELIMINATED.
Vedin's player, Jacob Rowan, is on the Atlantic Blackbirds and is ALIVE.
VossSauce's player, Gregor Clegaine, is on the East Cobras and is ELIMINATED.
Payton's player, Brave Ulysses, is on the Central Grizzlies and is ALIVE.
And my player, Edmond Beaver-Dantes, is on the Southwest Foxes and is ALIVE.
Giving up a sack will eliminate a player until, hopefully, there is only a single lineman remaining. The current plan is only to do this for the Prospect Bowl but it may have to continue into the DSFL season if this lack of sack allowance continues. We saw about 20 in Week 1 so I have to figure that eventually the bots will stop giving up sacks and share with the users. Whatever follows this will almost certainly be pancake themed because pancakes are amazing. Future editions of this may include Blocking RBs and TEs to try to get some glory for those underappreciated archetypes but for now it's just Offensive Linemen and which go the longest without giving up a sack.
Speaking of... Brave Ulysses currently leads the five of us with 6 pancake blocks. Rahm Kota and Edmond Beaver-Dantes have 2 each. Jacob Rowan has 1 and Gregor Clegaine doesn't have one yet. Shoutout to @TheChroniclesOfFrog Kermit Stronglegs who is apparently also Kermit Strongupperbody because as a running back he already has 3 pancakes which is sweet as hell.
We're just one game in so there's still a lot of time for things to change. Based on what that bum Payton did against the Blackbirds I can't wait to play them on Friday and ~feast~.
---Week 2 Update---
It is with immense regret that I announce our first elimination.
In Week 2 against the Atlantic Blackbirds, with his team facing a 2nd and 10 late in the 1st quarter while up 3-0, Rahm Kota allowed Rock Hardshaft to sack Jay Longshaw.
Bum Ulysses still leads in pancakes with 11
Rowan and myself are tied for 2nd with 7
Kota is fourth with 3
And Clegaine got his first this week, so he's sitting at 1
---Week 3 Update---
Week 3 is in the books. Let's take a look at the contestants.
Bum Ulysses is up to 16 pancakes and still no sacks allowed so he survives another day.
I, Edmond Beaver-Dantes, am up to 9 pancakes and also haven't allowed a sack so I'm still in.
Jacob Rowan has the same exact numbers as I do with 9 pancakes and no sacks allowed so he's still in.
Unfortunately, Gregor Clegaine allowed his first sack of the prospect tournament. I can't tell in the index who got the offending sack but Marquees Acho and Rock Hardshaft both had a pair so could go either way. It's interesting that two weeks in a row the Atlantic Blackbirds have eliminated an offensive lineman. They play the Pacific Owls who have no user OL in Week 4 before getting the Southwest Foxes in Week 5 so we'll see if I'm the third that they eliminate.
And thus there were three.
---Week 4+5 Update---
Oops missed Week 4. So did our remaining offensive linemen, apparently.
Jacob Rowan had 0 pancakes and no sacks allowed, Bum Ulysses had 1 pancake and no sacks allowed, and I had 1 pancake and no sacks allowed. No eliminations and not much added to the pancake file.
Ulysses followed that up with 5 pancakes in Week 5 with no sacks allowed while Rowan had 3 pancakes and no sacks allowed and in the Danger Will Robinson match up of the week of Edmond Beaver-Dantes against that frightening Blackbirds defense I was able to hold down the fort with 1 pancake and no sacks allowed.
So at the conclusion of the round robin we've got:
Bum Ulysses - 23 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 12 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 11 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 11 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 5 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
In the games tomorrow we'll have:
Jacob Rowan versus the Eastern Cobras
Gregor Clegaine versus the Atlantic Blackbirds
Bum Ulysses versus the Southwest Foxes
Edmond Beaver-Dantes versus the Central Grizzlies
Rahm Kota versus the Pacific Owls
Either Ulysses or Beaver-Dantes will make the championship game for their 7th game of the tournament and may meet Rahm Kota there if the Wolfpack can get a road win against the Owls.
So far the defenses have been pretty even on generating sacks. While the Atlantic Blackbirds have eliminated both linemen so far it's actually the Pacific Owls that lead the way with 21 sacks in 5 games. The East Cobras are right behind with 20 then the Blackbirds and Central Grizzles each have 19. The Midwest Wolfpack's 17 and Southwest Foxes' 16 round out the leaderboard.
---Prospect Bowl Playoffs, Regular Season, and Conf Semifinals Update---
Bumpity bump. Let's update this bizniz.
First up is the Prospect Bowl Playoffs. In the consolation game Jacob Rowan picked up 2 pancakes for the Blackbirds and still didn't allow a sack, cementing a perfect prospect bowl. Gregor Clegaine isn't listed on the stats page so I assume he had 0 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed. Bum Ulysses and Edmond Beaver-Dantes faced off in one of the semi-finals and posted identical 3 pancake, 0 sacks allowed scorelines. As the Grizzlies won a close one, that confirmed Beaver-Dantes's perfect prospect tournament while Ulysses moved on to the finals. In the other semifinal Rahm Kota posted 1 pancake and no sacks in an absolute thriller of a game. Bum Ulysses then followed that up with 2 pancakes and no sacks allowed in the championship. As he was the only user OL in that game, that ended the prospect tournament with the following stats:
Bum Ulysses - 26 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 14 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 14 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 12 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 5 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
With 3 players still alive in the pool I suppose I have to continue this into the regular season (not preseason though) so here we go.
First up let's check out where these 5 brave users got drafted. I, Edmond Beaver-Dantes, went at the end of the 1st round and 6th overall to the Tijuana Luchadores. That was followed up by Bum Ulysses getting auto-picked to Tijuana due to being a GM there. After that we had a bit of a drop as teams weren't sure how much value a first gen offensive lineman would be. Rahm Kota went 62nd overall in the 11th round to the Palm Beach Solar Bears before Jacob Rowan went in the following round, 72nd overall to - once again - Tijuana. Finally, Gregor Clegaine went a respectable 93rd in the 16th round to Portland and ahead of quite a few other players. Worth noting that Tijuana got the 3 players that survived the Prospect Bowl unscathed.
6. Edmond Beaver-Dantes - OL - Beaver
12. Brave Ulysses - OL - PaytonM34
62. Rham Kota - OL - Furrand
72. Jacob Rowan - OL - Vedin
93. Gregor Clegaine - OL - VossSauce14
Ty Tijuana for making the stats updates way easier for this. Shame on you, Norfolk, San Antonio, and Kansas City for not drafting a user offensive lineman.
Week 1 saw the Solar Bears host the juggernaut San Antonio Marshals, though I'm not sure if we knew quite how good they were at the time, and the Luchadores and Pythons go head to head in Portland. The Marshals squeaked out a 5 point victory and the Luchadores got their doors blown off in a 41-0 thumping so I'm kinda scared to check my stats.
Rahm Kota more than held his own with 2 pancakes and no sacks allowed. Gulp. Gregor Clegaine had an absolute monster of a game with 5 pancakes and no sacks allowed. Jacob Rowan put up a decent performance with 3 pancakes and no sacks allowed while the other two Luchadores struggled. Ulysses had 1 pancake and didn't allow a sack and Edmond Beaver-Dantes had ZERO pancakes and allowed the only sack by Portland (((((
I am eliminated.
New regular season standings after Week 1:
Gregor Clegaine - 5 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 3 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 2 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Bum Ulysses - 1 pancake, 0 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 0 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Week 2 saw the Tijuana trio head to Palm Beach to face Kota while Clegaine traveled to Norfolk to take on the Seawolves. No need to do a write up of every game I'm just gonna update the standings thingy.
Gregor Clegaine - 7 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 7 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 3 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Bum Ulysses - 3 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 1 pancake, 1 sack allowed
In Week 3 we had Palm Beach at Norfolk, Tijuana at San Antonio, and Portland at Kansas City.
Jacob Rowan - 10 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 9 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Bum Ulysses - 9 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 5 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 4 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Week 4 we had Palm Beach at San Antonio, Norfolk at Tijuana, and Kansas City at Portland.
Gregor Clegaine - 15 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 14 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Bum Ulysses - 13 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 8 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 5 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
I fucking suck.
Week 5: Palm Beach at Tijuana, Portland at San Antonio. I allowed another sack but you can't get double eliminated so I'll say that the 7 pancakes was worth it. Unfortunately bum boy also had 7. Gregor Clegaine, after leading from Week 1, finally allowed a sack against San Antonio and was thus eliminated.
Bum Ulysses - 20 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 18 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 15 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 12 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 11 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Week 6: Kansas City at Palm Beach, San Antonio at Tijuana, Norfolk at Portland. Ulysses put up his second straight 7 pancake game and Clegaine allowed another 2 sacks to take the lead. No stats recorded for Beaver-Dantes and Kota.
Bum Ulysses - 27 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 22 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 16 pancakes, 3 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 12 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 11 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Week 7: Portland at Palm Beach, Kansas City at Tijuana. Clegaine continues his skid heading into the halfway mark of the season with 3 pancakes and 3 sacks allowed. Kota returns to form on the other side with 4 pancakes and no sacks allowed.
Bum Ulysses - 29 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 24 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 19 pancakes, 6 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 15 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 15 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Week 8: Palm Beach at Kansas City, San Antonio at Portland, Tijuana at Norfolk. Clegaine's skid ends with 1 pancake and no sacks but we have our third elimination as Jacob Rowan gives up a sack. And then there were two.
Bum Ulysses - 31 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 27 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 20 pancakes, 6 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 18 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 16 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Week 9: San Antonio at Palm Beach, Portland at Tijuana. Ulysses posts 8 pancakes and no sacks to extend his pancake lead.
Bum Ulysses - 39 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 30 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 21 pancakes, 6 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 19 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 16 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Week 10: Tijuana at Palm Beach, Portland at Norfolk. Tijuana's defense isn't able to beat Kota to give Ulysses the win in their head to head match up. They'll get 1 more shot in Week 13 if both OLs survive until then.
Bum Ulysses - 42 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 30 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 22 pancakes, 8 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 20 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 18 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Week 11: Norfolk at Palm Beach, Tijuana at San Antonio, Portland at Kansas City. The last two OLs stay alive for another week.
Bum Ulysses - 44 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Jacob Rowan - 34 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 24 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 22 pancakes, 9 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 18 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Week 12: Palm Beach at San Antonio, Tijuana at Kansas City, Norfolk at Portland. Kota survives the Marshals to stay alive for the Week 13 showdown against Ulysses and the Luchadores. However, Ulysses doesn't hold up his end as he records 4 pancakes and allows a sack to make Rahm Kota the last survivor in the sack pool.
Bum Ulysses - 48 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Jacob Rowan - 36 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 28 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 25 pancakes, 9 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 20 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Week 13: Palm Beach at Tijuana, Kansas City at Portland. What a let down after I got all hyped up for a head to head battle to possibly decide the pool. Bum Ulysses living up to his name once again smh. Though in the end this game only had 1 sack and no sacks allowed so it would've been anticlimactic either way.
Bum Ulysses - 50 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Jacob Rowan - 41 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 31 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 27 pancakes, 9 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 22 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Week 14: San Antonio at Tijuana, Palm Beach at Portland. Rahm Kota holds on against the Pythons to finish his perfect regular season. As the Solar Bears missed the playoffs that will be the last we see of him before the NSFL draft. The other four offensive linemen moved on to the playoffs so let's get one more pre-Ultimus update in here.
Bum Ulysses - 53 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Jacob Rowan - 43 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 36 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 29 pancakes, 9 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 25 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Conference Semifinals: Tijuana at San Antonio, Norfolk at Portland. Nothing of particular interest happened, though the Tijuana trio had 4, 4, and 1 pancakes to finish with a very aesthetic 57/47/37.
Bum Ulysses - 57 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Jacob Rowan - 47 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes - 37 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Gregor Clegaine - 30 pancakes, 9 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota - 25 pancakes, 0 sacks allowed
Tijuana of course upset the Marshals and Portland was the only home team to win their conference championship on Monday so those 4 players will be in action again tonight. They're all eliminated but Clegaine is within striking distance of passing Beaver-Dantes and the Tijuana trio are all sitting very close in sacks allowed so it could be interesting.
If we include the Prospect Bowl in this, Bum Ulysses would've been the winner as Kota allowed 1 sack in that. Total leaderboard:
Bum Ulysses GRIZZLIES/ - 83 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Jacob Rowan BLACKBIRDS/ - 61 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Edmond Beaver-Dantes FOXES/ - 47 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed
Rahm Kota WOLFPACK/ - 37 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
Gregor Clegaine COBRAS/ - 35 pancakes, 11 sacks allowed