Make a team needs article, said Ryan Leaf Jr. Sure, said Nicky, that sounds like a very reasonable thing to write about with the offseason upon us. But the more I thought about it, the more I said, “that’s child’s play, I can do better”. This is coming from the guy who made a Top 50 Players from the Season 15 Draft post. So with that said, I’m not just examining team needs, I’ll be talking about how they’ll address those needs. Today, I’ll be predicting THE ENTIRE OFFSEASON. The first three rounds of the draft, plus where all of the major free agents will go. This is your fault, Leaf.
Chicago Butchers
Pick #27
Cap Space: $30M (10th most)
We begin with the best team in last year’s regular season, and shock of all shocks, it was the expansion Chicago Butchers. If I wasn’t on another team, I’d be rooting for these guys so hard. Now, when you go 10-3, the holes that you need to fill aren’t that big. Their running back crew behind Sam Torenson was practically non-existent. Not that that mattered so much with Torenson doing so well, but still, it’d be smart to have a change of pace back. Now that I think about it, they did, but Ricky Adams played mostly at receiver. That’s because once you got past Kazimir Oles, their wide receiver corps was trash. Felix Hasslehoff was basically only useful on the goal line (19 receptions on the season, six TDs) and Roger Batoff didn’t even have that. And finally, both of their starting DTs are free agents: Curtis Saul and Will Foster.
Predictions: First they literally have to resign star DE/GM D’Pez Poopsie. However, since Chicago’s cap situation is the tightest in the entire league, he takes a minor paycut: 3 years, $3 million (per year, for all contracts). Chicago’s next task at hand is finding that coveted #2 receiver. This is a good year to need a receiver in free agency, but they unfortunately strike out on all three of the big ones (Valentine, Sunnycursed, and Josh Parker). They instead settle on giving Sam Hardwick a 3 year, $5 million per year contract. Hardwick makes a solid #2 receiver and can let Adams go back to his natural position at running back. Two needs addressed with one signing (and Adams can still play some slot receiver if you need him to). The NSFL Draft comes and goes without much noise from the Butchers. They only have one pick in the top 36, since they traded up for Sam Torenson (worked out, I’d say). At #27, they select WR Jackson Valadez as a late round flyer. Maybe he’ll be the #3 receiver if he re-emerges. After that, they mostly just focus on resigning the players they need to. Ricky Adams (2 years, $2M), Will Foster (2 years, $2M) and Felix Hasslehoff (2 years, $1.5M) all resign, but they do lose a couple of big pieces. They choose not to resign Aksel Danielsson or Roger Batoff, since they’re not really needed anymore. Losing Bobson Dugnutt isn’t ideal, but he’s a #3 corner and Chicago lost the bid for him. Same for Curtis Saul which will hurt a bit more, but sometimes you lose inactive free agents like that. However, their biggest departure will be Gekyume Stokeley. Another team makes a mountain of an offer, and they lose one of their stars at linebacker, and unfortunately, they can’t find a worthy player at the position. They do sign Knute Knurtsson to a 3 year deal worth $2.5M per year, and play him out of position as a band-aid. Overall, not a sexy offseason for Chicago, but one where they maintain most of their core and sign some solid extra pieces.
Yellowknife Wraiths
Picks #6, 16, 26
Cap Space: $40M (7th most)
The Wraiths were a team that many experts predicted would make a leap, and they certainly did, finishing in a tie for the league’s best record at 10-3. They had the best offense in the league last season, and if they can just resign a couple of players, they’ll be golden. However, their defense left a lot to be desired, ranking 7th in points allowed. DE Zach Skinner is mired deep in regression, and should move on. They probably need at least one more linebacker since Alex Selich is their only one, and the same is true about their cornerback corps and Johnny Snuggles.
Predictions: Like Chicago, they first have to square away one of their GMs. And like Chicago’s GM, Wraith WR Tommy Helanen takes a pay cut, signing a 4 year, $3M deal. The money saved is funneled directly into Josh Parker’s pocket. One of the first big announcements of free agency is that the Wraiths have resigned their #1 receiver, Josh Parker. With Parker, Helanen, and Nate Swift signed to long term deals, Brad Pennington isn’t resigned and eventually retires. After a few days of inactivity, the draft rolls around, and the Wraiths pick three times in the first three rounds: #6, #16, and #26. At #6, they get their compliment to Johnny Snuggles in Mervin Leonard. At #16, they go for a RB, Octavius Godspeed. If Jarrod Canton doesn’t sign his player option (I think he will), they’ll need a back-up for Morgan Marshall. And finally at #26, LB Tyrone Baker is selected. He probably won’t be needed, but if he comes back into the fold, there may be a starting role waiting for him. After the draft, they find their replacement for Zach Skinner in Marc Spector. He signs a 3 year, $5 million contract to fill out that D-line. Plus with a name like Spector, it’s a perfect fit for the Wraiths. Still needing a linebacker, and with very few options available, they pick up a young DE in Joseph Henry and move him to outside linebacker. That should fill most of the holes on this team, and make Yellowknife that much more of a threat.
Philadelphia Liberty
Picks #9, 19, 29
Cap Space: $43.5M (5th most)
Going into this season, I thought the Liberty would be a middle of the pack team. They met expectations in the regular season at 7-6, and then got hot at the right time, coming up 10 yards short of winning it all. On to next season then. What do the Liberty need? Well, the most obvious thing is a tight end. Zapp Branigan has played his final game, and the Liberty need to find someone new. Less obvious is at quarterback. Adriana Falconi just had the best season of her career, but she’s about to hit regression, and there’s currently no plan in place for when she’s gone. Finally, their linebacker corps is trash; they played a bunch of converted secondary members and an inactive Rock Hardshaft. They can definitely improve.
Predictions: The first thing the Liberty have to do is lock up star RB Vander Jones. He’ll be one of the big prizes of free agency, the Liberty would be wise to sign him quickly. After a little bit of negotiating, Vander signs for a king’s ransom. 4 years, $9M per season. He’s earned it. This’ll take a chunk out of their cap space, so they don’t make too many more big moves, but there is one that makes a lot of sense to me, signing Verso L’Alto. There’s only one TE prospect worth taking in the draft, and they have other needs. This could be seen as an all-in move to give Falconi another elite TE to target. He gets a 2 year deal, worth $4 per season, with a mutual option for Year 2. Then the draft rolls around, and this turns out to be the right move, as Honda Edmond is off the board before the Liberty’s first pick. This is an easy move at #9, QB Jordan McCann III. He’s still got some seasons to develop while Falconi finishes out her contract. Next up at #19, they take safety A.C. Peyton. He fell to them and the value was too good to pass, worst case, he’s a decent coverage linebacker. Then in the third, they take a chance on Brennan Biletnikoff. If he comes back, then they may have their tight end of the future once L’Alto leaves. After the draft, they focus on their one big hole left, the linebacker corps. Ben Horne (2 years, $3M) has aged a bit, but he’s still more than capable of being a playmaker for them. They also resign Rock Hardshaft to the tune of 3 years, $2M. And they bring back an old face in Roger Batoff to be their #3 receiver (2 years, $1M). These moves should hopefully keep Philly’s window open for another couple of years.
Baltimore Hawks
Picks #4, 14
Cap Space: $33.5M (9th most)
What happened to the Baltimore Hawks? I thought for sure this crew would survive the retirement of Childish Gambino with as much talent as this roster had. But instead, they plunged into the depths of mediocrity and technically made the playoffs, but were auto-bounced. They need to make sure this season was just a fluke caused by a rough transition to Corvo Havran. For starters, Marquise Brown is a free agent and is starting to feel regression. Same for Verso L’Alto, as well as their entire defensive line.
Predictions: The Hawks decide that a world with an aging Marquise Brown is better than one with no Marquise Brown, and resign him to a short contract, 2 years, $4 million per year. They also resign a player they traded for, Ahri Espeeyeeseetee, to a healthy deal worth $5 mil per year for 3 years. However, their cap situation means they can’t sign everyone, and these two resignings spell the end for two other free agents, Verso L’Alto and Yulic Nagasawa. L’Alto isn’t getting any younger, and they just lost the bid on Yulic. In the draft, they fill one of those needs early as they take TE Honda Edmond at #4. Some may call it a reach, but Philly also needs a tight end at #6, so a trade back isn’t a possibility. With their only other top 30 pick at #14, they look at another one of their needs by taking DT Shane Masters, he’s one of the later actives in the class, so he’ll be a nice find at this range, and with some work in the offseason, he could be playable by Week 1. After the draft, they give Masters a new mentor, Curtis Saul. He signs a 3 year, $4.5M contract to come from Chicago to Baltimore. They also resign Jaylin Hobbs (2 years, $2M), and will move one of the three to defensive end. Caleb McCoy will also be brought in (2 years, $1M) to make up for the departure of Ben Horne, although that’ll probably be a need down the road. With some improvement from Havran, maybe these moves will be enough to pry the window back open.
Colorado Yeti
Picks #2, 20, 22
Cap Space: $53M (most)
Nobody was really expecting much from the Yeti this season. They went 2-12 last season, despite having an experienced QB, now they don’t even have the Micyclist. But even with those low expectations, to have your only win come against an actually winless team? I expect nothing, and am still disappointed. Anyway, what does this team need, besides everything? I kid, it’s not that bad. They have their QB and WR of the future already in Wolfie McDummy and Laszlo Fourty-Two. James Bishop, Logan Lejune and Beau Montgomery are still hanging around, and they got four studs in the S15 Draft in Berry, Gabagool, Sinclair, and Taffy. Their biggest need is on the D-line, where literally everyone is a free agent. They also need another corner to go alongside Beau, and maybe another running back would be nice so that Terry Taffy isn’t run into the ground.
Predictions: It’s going to be really hard to convince people to come to Colorado. I’m sorry Yeti fans, but they don’t even that new team smell to lure potential free agents like Austin does. As a result, Colorado strikes out in bringing in new active talent in free agency. They do retain a few of their players like Joey Sachs (2 years, $1.5M) and Rylant Wright (2 years, $1.5M), but it’s bad news elsewhere. They’ll have to improve through the draft and with inactive bidding, and that’s not going to be easy, since they’ll probably only pull down one active in this year’s draft. With the second pick, they take their biggest area of need, and take DT Bubba Thumper. That should comfortably fill in that spot for a while. They have two picks in the 20s, and spend them on RB Ducky Donut at #20 and CB Dominick Schultz at #22 to fill needs temporarily in case free agency doesn’t work out. However, they do find some solid players in the bidding process. RB Aksel Danielsson signs a 3 year deal for $3M, as does WR Yulic Nagasawa to the same deal. They do get another linemen in Steven Oates for 2 years, $2.5M and CB Bobson Dugnutt for 3 years, $3M. And without many better options, they resign Pecker Cox to a 2 year, $1M contract. That’s not an amazing team, but it shouldn’t be a one-win team again.
Orange County Otters
Picks #8, 18, 28
Cap Space; $34M (8th most)
I thought this was Orange County’s year. They scored the second most points, they allowed the fewest points, and they had, in my opinion, a surefire MVP winner in Gus T.T. Showbiz on their payroll. And yet, they got demoralized in the playoffs by Arizona. How odd. I guess two fumbles and a pick-six will do that. But Orange County shouldn’t fret, their window is still plenty open, they just need to keep that core together, and they should be able to get another crack at it next season. To do that though, they’ll have to keep their two star wide receivers, Vinny Valentine and Sunnycursed. They should also look at another running back as Apollo Reed was ineffective, and his development has been pretty slow. The only other spot where they even kinda need help is DE, as Tommy Salami could walk in free agency. Every other position is locked up to long term contracts. This is a very complete team.
Predictions: Orange County has a choice to make. Do they blow the majority of their cap space to resign two WRs who may’ve already peaked? Well, they try to. They might as well, it’s not like they have a ton of needs elsewhere. They lock up Sunnycursed to the biggest contract a receiver has ever gotten, 4 years, $9M per year. They try to make a similar contract for Vinny Valentine, but for less money since he’s already hitting regression. This isn’t enough to secure his services, and Valentine walks after just one season in Cali. All of a sudden, Orange County’s biggest need is made clear, and they address it in the draft. At #8 overall, they select WR Saba Donut. He’ll immediately be their #2 WR and will be the heir apparent to the starting job when Sunnycursed retires. They take a safety in the second in Takeda Okura to replace the departing Shannon Hobbs, and in the third, they throw a dart, and land on wide receiver Bryce Molnar. Not feeling confident in Molnar as their third receiver, they snag Ty Justice from the Sabercats (2 years, $2M), and they resign Tommy Salami (3 years, $2.5M). And after missing out on all the big name running backs in free agency, they settle on former Baltimore backup Corey Trevor (2 years, $1.5M), and resign themselves to the fact that Apollo Reed will be the uncontested lead back again. This should be enough to keep a championship contender at that level.
Arizona Outlaws
Picks #10, 12, 17, 30
Cap Space: $46.5M (3rd most)
Arizona’s turnaround has been impressive to say the least. Two seasons ago, they were basement dwellers at 2-12. But they got bad at the right time, landing the #1 pick in the vaunted S15 draft, and got five legitimate starters from that draft in Brock Landers, Jammerson Irving, Ricardo Morris, Lucas Knight, and Lamont McKinnie. And just two short years later, they’re the champs. Great job, guys. But time keeps rolling on, and there’s no time to drunk on champagne. The next season is right around the corner. So where do they still need to improve? Well for this team, it’s more about retaining who they have, as they have impending free agents at both running back and linebacker. They also need another receiver to go alongside Brock Landers, as he’s been working solo after losing Sam Hardwick in the expansion draft.
Predictions: Arizona knows if they’re going to repeat, they have to take a big swing. They have the cap space to go big, and they do, swooping in when Vinny Valentine got low-balled, and signing him to a huge deal. 3 years, $8.5M per year. Brock Landers is slightly disappointed about losing the #1 WR job, but knows it’ll only be for a year or two before he’ll overtake Valentine in TPE. With that need filled, they head to the draft. However, their first pick is at #10. They obviously miss out on Ashley Owens, and with no real linebacker prospects to speak of, they go best player available and snag a tumbling DT Brayden Ennis. He’ll be useful for replacing the struggling Cole Walker. At #12, they get another falling star, WR Action Jackson. Between Valentine, Landers, Jackson, and Irving, that’s an offense that’s impossible to stop. At #17, they take a shot on the best linebacker available, which isn’t saying much, and take Ronald Watkins. Hopefully, he won’t have to start, but we’ll see if he’s needed. And finally at #30, they take another player they’ll hopefully never have to use (unless he returns), RB Chase Osborn. Next comes the inactive process, and they resign a couple of their own guys. First off, RBs Slim Shady and Seer Zephyrous, as there’s no real reason not to. They each get two year deals worth $2.5 and $2 million respectively. They also give Jesse Marchand a one-year deal, as he’s quickly falling apart, but they need him for the time being. And after some tough negotiating, they resign Leighton Lee to a long term contract of 4 years, $7M per year, meaning the one-two punch of Lee and Raymond Vans can continue terrorizing defenses. That’s a roster that can make a darn repeat.
San Jose Sabercats
Picks #5, 15
Cap Space: $42M (6th most)
And now we come to my squad. After making the Ultimus last season, we regressed pretty hard, falling to a 7-6 squad. We still made the playoffs, but were bounced in the Wild Card round by the eventual champs. This is a team that’s middle of the road in a lot of places, but we have our stars. Unfortunately, a lot of them are getting older. Joliet L. Christ is about to hit his first year of regression and a lot of our key contributors are already feeling it, like Kolby Deringer, Xavier Flash, and the Pennington brothers(?). We’ll need to either sign them to short deals or replace them quickly if we don’t want our window to slam shut. This offseason should be about finding heir apparents at QB and LB, as well as picking up a cornerback, as our pass defense was regularly torched.
Predictions: First off, Footballer Sackerman has already announced his retirement, and will sign a one-year deal to finish out his career with the Sabercats. So that’s one need temporarily filled. They’ll also give a decent contract to Kolby Deringer of 3 years, $6M per year that should last him until he’s ready to retire. However, they can’t hand out contracts to everyone, especially an expensive IA like Jorel Tuck, and he walks. They fix that problem in the draft, selecting safety Tyron Brackenridge at #5 overall. Then at #15, with no other picks that can net them a big player, they take a lottery ticket on QB Jim McMahon, with the hope that he develops into the successor to Joliet L. Christ. From there, they add to their defense. First up, they manage to snag Gekyume Stokeley away from Chicago. They give him a huge offer of 4 years, $7M per season, and he defects. They also pick up Spencer Castle to help aid their secondary, to the tune of 3 years, $2M, and they also lock up DE Danny Methane to a 2 year, $2M contract. Hopefully, those boosts to the defense will help get this team back to its winning ways.
New Orleans Second Line
Picks #3, 13, 23, 24
Cap Space: $48.5M (2nd most)
People might be sleeping on the Second Line, but they’re in a position that Arizona was in not long ago. They’re a young team that should make a leap with a bit of experience under their belt. I don’t know if they’ll be a sexy free agent destination, but I do think that in a couple of years, when guys like Stan Francisco, Forrest Gump, and Quenton Bode improve, we’ll be talking about New Orleans a lot more. For now though, they still need to gain some players, especially on defense. Defensive tackle is going to be a serious issue if Benson Harris walks. They only have one cornerback on the team, and all of their safeties are free agents.
Predictions: First thing they do is make sure not to lose any of their young pieces, and lock up Bona’beri Jones to a long-term deal (4 years, $6M). They also secure Benson Harris before he gets poached (3 years, $2.5M). But they do have their eyes on maybe the biggest inactive bid on the block, Jorel Tuck. They have the cap space to throw down the gauntlet, and in the end, they get their man. It’s expensive, 3 years, $7M per season, but it’ll be worth it if he improves their defense by leaps and bounds. Come draft day, they’re picking at #3, and they get Deon Taylor some help as they draft a second corner, Jordan Andrews. He’ll start immediately, and secure that side of the field for years to come. Then at #13, they surprise everyone and go corner again, selecting Willie Woodson. Woodson will be a solid slot corner for them, even if he doesn’t update much, and if he does update, watch out. Then in the third, they have back-to-back picks at #23 and #24. They take Max Lovote and Joe Bobgarter there, two offensive skill players, who are basically just lottery picks to see if they’ll return to the fold. After that, they add a couple more defenders to the mix, resigning their best player from last year, William H. Harrison to a short term deal (2 years, $2.5M), and they also pick up Shannon Hobbs for a stopgap contract (2 years, $2M) just for him to fill in any holes this team has left. And to improve their passing game just a touch, they sign TE Steven Moore to a short 2 year, $2.5M contract. This could take a rising team and let them keep going up.
Austin Copperheads
Picks #1, 7, 11, 21, 25
Cap Space: $44M (4th most)
And last but actually least, we have the Austin Copperheads. 0-13. Hell of a way to start your career. We knew that this team was playing for the future and they weren’t going to be good right away, but 0-13 is something special. They’re plenty of holes to fill on this team, and they have plenty of draft capital to help patch those holes. The biggest news of the offseason as it stands is that Dick Wizardry will be changing positions from RB to DT. This means Mako Mendonca will be their only running back, and they may not be ready to hand him the keys to the offense. They also need some more linebackers and cornerbacks, since they only have two of each, and one of each is an impending free agent.
Predictions: Like the other struggling teams, they have a hard time enticing active players to come to Texas. So, they do what we’re all expecting, they make their moves in the draft. They have three picks in the top 11, including #1 overall, and it should be obvious what the move is: RB Ashley Owens. The undisputed best player in the draft, this would explain Wizardry’s move to the defense. From here, Owens and Mendonca would make a potent 1-2 punch at running back. Next is #7 overall, and they keep going offense, selecting WR Dexter Banks II. This move would be the signifier to Sam Hardwick that he won’t be resigned. At #11, they select a cornerback Julien McMorris. This whole process should net them three quality starters in the draft, despite most teams only getting one. They also have a pair of third rounders, and take LB Jason Carver and CB Koda Adok to give them some depth help. They won’t be relying on those two very much though as they resign LB A.J. Robertson and sign CB Johnson Cox III after the draft. They aren’t going to jump into postseason contention right away, but they should at least get their first win as an organization, and for now, that’s progress.
#1 RB Ashley Owens
#2 DT Bubba Thumper
#3 CB Jordan Andrews
#4 TE Honda Edmond
#5 S Tyron Brackenridge
#6 CB Mervin Leonard
#7 WR Dexter Banks
#8 WR Saba Donut
#9 QB Jordan McCann
#10 DT Brayden Ennis
#11 CB Julien McMorris
#12 WR Action Jackson
#13 CB Willie Woodson
#14 DT Shane Masters
#15 QB Jim McMahon
#16 RB Octavius Godspeed
#17 LB Ronald Watkins
#18 S Takeda Okura
#19 S A.C. Payton
#20 RB Ducky Donut
#21 LB Jason Carver
#22 CB Dominick Schultz
#23 WR Max Lovote
#24 RB Joe Bobgarter
#25 CB Koda Adok
#26 LB Tyrone Baker
#27 WR Jackson Valadez
#28 WR Bryce Molnar
#29 TE Brennan Biletnikoff
#30 RB Chase Osborn
(Also, all of these predictions came before free agency started. You can tell this because I already got the Marquise Brown move wrong.)
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Chicago Butchers Pick #27
Cap Space: $30M (10th most)
We begin with the best team in last year’s regular season, and shock of all shocks, it was the expansion Chicago Butchers. If I wasn’t on another team, I’d be rooting for these guys so hard. Now, when you go 10-3, the holes that you need to fill aren’t that big. Their running back crew behind Sam Torenson was practically non-existent. Not that that mattered so much with Torenson doing so well, but still, it’d be smart to have a change of pace back. Now that I think about it, they did, but Ricky Adams played mostly at receiver. That’s because once you got past Kazimir Oles, their wide receiver corps was trash. Felix Hasslehoff was basically only useful on the goal line (19 receptions on the season, six TDs) and Roger Batoff didn’t even have that. And finally, both of their starting DTs are free agents: Curtis Saul and Will Foster.
Predictions: First they literally have to resign star DE/GM D’Pez Poopsie. However, since Chicago’s cap situation is the tightest in the entire league, he takes a minor paycut: 3 years, $3 million (per year, for all contracts). Chicago’s next task at hand is finding that coveted #2 receiver. This is a good year to need a receiver in free agency, but they unfortunately strike out on all three of the big ones (Valentine, Sunnycursed, and Josh Parker). They instead settle on giving Sam Hardwick a 3 year, $5 million per year contract. Hardwick makes a solid #2 receiver and can let Adams go back to his natural position at running back. Two needs addressed with one signing (and Adams can still play some slot receiver if you need him to). The NSFL Draft comes and goes without much noise from the Butchers. They only have one pick in the top 36, since they traded up for Sam Torenson (worked out, I’d say). At #27, they select WR Jackson Valadez as a late round flyer. Maybe he’ll be the #3 receiver if he re-emerges. After that, they mostly just focus on resigning the players they need to. Ricky Adams (2 years, $2M), Will Foster (2 years, $2M) and Felix Hasslehoff (2 years, $1.5M) all resign, but they do lose a couple of big pieces. They choose not to resign Aksel Danielsson or Roger Batoff, since they’re not really needed anymore. Losing Bobson Dugnutt isn’t ideal, but he’s a #3 corner and Chicago lost the bid for him. Same for Curtis Saul which will hurt a bit more, but sometimes you lose inactive free agents like that. However, their biggest departure will be Gekyume Stokeley. Another team makes a mountain of an offer, and they lose one of their stars at linebacker, and unfortunately, they can’t find a worthy player at the position. They do sign Knute Knurtsson to a 3 year deal worth $2.5M per year, and play him out of position as a band-aid. Overall, not a sexy offseason for Chicago, but one where they maintain most of their core and sign some solid extra pieces.
Yellowknife Wraiths Picks #6, 16, 26
Cap Space: $40M (7th most)
The Wraiths were a team that many experts predicted would make a leap, and they certainly did, finishing in a tie for the league’s best record at 10-3. They had the best offense in the league last season, and if they can just resign a couple of players, they’ll be golden. However, their defense left a lot to be desired, ranking 7th in points allowed. DE Zach Skinner is mired deep in regression, and should move on. They probably need at least one more linebacker since Alex Selich is their only one, and the same is true about their cornerback corps and Johnny Snuggles.
Predictions: Like Chicago, they first have to square away one of their GMs. And like Chicago’s GM, Wraith WR Tommy Helanen takes a pay cut, signing a 4 year, $3M deal. The money saved is funneled directly into Josh Parker’s pocket. One of the first big announcements of free agency is that the Wraiths have resigned their #1 receiver, Josh Parker. With Parker, Helanen, and Nate Swift signed to long term deals, Brad Pennington isn’t resigned and eventually retires. After a few days of inactivity, the draft rolls around, and the Wraiths pick three times in the first three rounds: #6, #16, and #26. At #6, they get their compliment to Johnny Snuggles in Mervin Leonard. At #16, they go for a RB, Octavius Godspeed. If Jarrod Canton doesn’t sign his player option (I think he will), they’ll need a back-up for Morgan Marshall. And finally at #26, LB Tyrone Baker is selected. He probably won’t be needed, but if he comes back into the fold, there may be a starting role waiting for him. After the draft, they find their replacement for Zach Skinner in Marc Spector. He signs a 3 year, $5 million contract to fill out that D-line. Plus with a name like Spector, it’s a perfect fit for the Wraiths. Still needing a linebacker, and with very few options available, they pick up a young DE in Joseph Henry and move him to outside linebacker. That should fill most of the holes on this team, and make Yellowknife that much more of a threat.
Philadelphia Liberty Picks #9, 19, 29
Cap Space: $43.5M (5th most)
Going into this season, I thought the Liberty would be a middle of the pack team. They met expectations in the regular season at 7-6, and then got hot at the right time, coming up 10 yards short of winning it all. On to next season then. What do the Liberty need? Well, the most obvious thing is a tight end. Zapp Branigan has played his final game, and the Liberty need to find someone new. Less obvious is at quarterback. Adriana Falconi just had the best season of her career, but she’s about to hit regression, and there’s currently no plan in place for when she’s gone. Finally, their linebacker corps is trash; they played a bunch of converted secondary members and an inactive Rock Hardshaft. They can definitely improve.
Predictions: The first thing the Liberty have to do is lock up star RB Vander Jones. He’ll be one of the big prizes of free agency, the Liberty would be wise to sign him quickly. After a little bit of negotiating, Vander signs for a king’s ransom. 4 years, $9M per season. He’s earned it. This’ll take a chunk out of their cap space, so they don’t make too many more big moves, but there is one that makes a lot of sense to me, signing Verso L’Alto. There’s only one TE prospect worth taking in the draft, and they have other needs. This could be seen as an all-in move to give Falconi another elite TE to target. He gets a 2 year deal, worth $4 per season, with a mutual option for Year 2. Then the draft rolls around, and this turns out to be the right move, as Honda Edmond is off the board before the Liberty’s first pick. This is an easy move at #9, QB Jordan McCann III. He’s still got some seasons to develop while Falconi finishes out her contract. Next up at #19, they take safety A.C. Peyton. He fell to them and the value was too good to pass, worst case, he’s a decent coverage linebacker. Then in the third, they take a chance on Brennan Biletnikoff. If he comes back, then they may have their tight end of the future once L’Alto leaves. After the draft, they focus on their one big hole left, the linebacker corps. Ben Horne (2 years, $3M) has aged a bit, but he’s still more than capable of being a playmaker for them. They also resign Rock Hardshaft to the tune of 3 years, $2M. And they bring back an old face in Roger Batoff to be their #3 receiver (2 years, $1M). These moves should hopefully keep Philly’s window open for another couple of years.
Baltimore Hawks Picks #4, 14
Cap Space: $33.5M (9th most)
What happened to the Baltimore Hawks? I thought for sure this crew would survive the retirement of Childish Gambino with as much talent as this roster had. But instead, they plunged into the depths of mediocrity and technically made the playoffs, but were auto-bounced. They need to make sure this season was just a fluke caused by a rough transition to Corvo Havran. For starters, Marquise Brown is a free agent and is starting to feel regression. Same for Verso L’Alto, as well as their entire defensive line.
Predictions: The Hawks decide that a world with an aging Marquise Brown is better than one with no Marquise Brown, and resign him to a short contract, 2 years, $4 million per year. They also resign a player they traded for, Ahri Espeeyeeseetee, to a healthy deal worth $5 mil per year for 3 years. However, their cap situation means they can’t sign everyone, and these two resignings spell the end for two other free agents, Verso L’Alto and Yulic Nagasawa. L’Alto isn’t getting any younger, and they just lost the bid on Yulic. In the draft, they fill one of those needs early as they take TE Honda Edmond at #4. Some may call it a reach, but Philly also needs a tight end at #6, so a trade back isn’t a possibility. With their only other top 30 pick at #14, they look at another one of their needs by taking DT Shane Masters, he’s one of the later actives in the class, so he’ll be a nice find at this range, and with some work in the offseason, he could be playable by Week 1. After the draft, they give Masters a new mentor, Curtis Saul. He signs a 3 year, $4.5M contract to come from Chicago to Baltimore. They also resign Jaylin Hobbs (2 years, $2M), and will move one of the three to defensive end. Caleb McCoy will also be brought in (2 years, $1M) to make up for the departure of Ben Horne, although that’ll probably be a need down the road. With some improvement from Havran, maybe these moves will be enough to pry the window back open.
Colorado Yeti Picks #2, 20, 22
Cap Space: $53M (most)
Nobody was really expecting much from the Yeti this season. They went 2-12 last season, despite having an experienced QB, now they don’t even have the Micyclist. But even with those low expectations, to have your only win come against an actually winless team? I expect nothing, and am still disappointed. Anyway, what does this team need, besides everything? I kid, it’s not that bad. They have their QB and WR of the future already in Wolfie McDummy and Laszlo Fourty-Two. James Bishop, Logan Lejune and Beau Montgomery are still hanging around, and they got four studs in the S15 Draft in Berry, Gabagool, Sinclair, and Taffy. Their biggest need is on the D-line, where literally everyone is a free agent. They also need another corner to go alongside Beau, and maybe another running back would be nice so that Terry Taffy isn’t run into the ground.
Predictions: It’s going to be really hard to convince people to come to Colorado. I’m sorry Yeti fans, but they don’t even that new team smell to lure potential free agents like Austin does. As a result, Colorado strikes out in bringing in new active talent in free agency. They do retain a few of their players like Joey Sachs (2 years, $1.5M) and Rylant Wright (2 years, $1.5M), but it’s bad news elsewhere. They’ll have to improve through the draft and with inactive bidding, and that’s not going to be easy, since they’ll probably only pull down one active in this year’s draft. With the second pick, they take their biggest area of need, and take DT Bubba Thumper. That should comfortably fill in that spot for a while. They have two picks in the 20s, and spend them on RB Ducky Donut at #20 and CB Dominick Schultz at #22 to fill needs temporarily in case free agency doesn’t work out. However, they do find some solid players in the bidding process. RB Aksel Danielsson signs a 3 year deal for $3M, as does WR Yulic Nagasawa to the same deal. They do get another linemen in Steven Oates for 2 years, $2.5M and CB Bobson Dugnutt for 3 years, $3M. And without many better options, they resign Pecker Cox to a 2 year, $1M contract. That’s not an amazing team, but it shouldn’t be a one-win team again.
Orange County Otters Picks #8, 18, 28
Cap Space; $34M (8th most)
I thought this was Orange County’s year. They scored the second most points, they allowed the fewest points, and they had, in my opinion, a surefire MVP winner in Gus T.T. Showbiz on their payroll. And yet, they got demoralized in the playoffs by Arizona. How odd. I guess two fumbles and a pick-six will do that. But Orange County shouldn’t fret, their window is still plenty open, they just need to keep that core together, and they should be able to get another crack at it next season. To do that though, they’ll have to keep their two star wide receivers, Vinny Valentine and Sunnycursed. They should also look at another running back as Apollo Reed was ineffective, and his development has been pretty slow. The only other spot where they even kinda need help is DE, as Tommy Salami could walk in free agency. Every other position is locked up to long term contracts. This is a very complete team.
Predictions: Orange County has a choice to make. Do they blow the majority of their cap space to resign two WRs who may’ve already peaked? Well, they try to. They might as well, it’s not like they have a ton of needs elsewhere. They lock up Sunnycursed to the biggest contract a receiver has ever gotten, 4 years, $9M per year. They try to make a similar contract for Vinny Valentine, but for less money since he’s already hitting regression. This isn’t enough to secure his services, and Valentine walks after just one season in Cali. All of a sudden, Orange County’s biggest need is made clear, and they address it in the draft. At #8 overall, they select WR Saba Donut. He’ll immediately be their #2 WR and will be the heir apparent to the starting job when Sunnycursed retires. They take a safety in the second in Takeda Okura to replace the departing Shannon Hobbs, and in the third, they throw a dart, and land on wide receiver Bryce Molnar. Not feeling confident in Molnar as their third receiver, they snag Ty Justice from the Sabercats (2 years, $2M), and they resign Tommy Salami (3 years, $2.5M). And after missing out on all the big name running backs in free agency, they settle on former Baltimore backup Corey Trevor (2 years, $1.5M), and resign themselves to the fact that Apollo Reed will be the uncontested lead back again. This should be enough to keep a championship contender at that level.
Arizona Outlaws Picks #10, 12, 17, 30
Cap Space: $46.5M (3rd most)
Arizona’s turnaround has been impressive to say the least. Two seasons ago, they were basement dwellers at 2-12. But they got bad at the right time, landing the #1 pick in the vaunted S15 draft, and got five legitimate starters from that draft in Brock Landers, Jammerson Irving, Ricardo Morris, Lucas Knight, and Lamont McKinnie. And just two short years later, they’re the champs. Great job, guys. But time keeps rolling on, and there’s no time to drunk on champagne. The next season is right around the corner. So where do they still need to improve? Well for this team, it’s more about retaining who they have, as they have impending free agents at both running back and linebacker. They also need another receiver to go alongside Brock Landers, as he’s been working solo after losing Sam Hardwick in the expansion draft.
Predictions: Arizona knows if they’re going to repeat, they have to take a big swing. They have the cap space to go big, and they do, swooping in when Vinny Valentine got low-balled, and signing him to a huge deal. 3 years, $8.5M per year. Brock Landers is slightly disappointed about losing the #1 WR job, but knows it’ll only be for a year or two before he’ll overtake Valentine in TPE. With that need filled, they head to the draft. However, their first pick is at #10. They obviously miss out on Ashley Owens, and with no real linebacker prospects to speak of, they go best player available and snag a tumbling DT Brayden Ennis. He’ll be useful for replacing the struggling Cole Walker. At #12, they get another falling star, WR Action Jackson. Between Valentine, Landers, Jackson, and Irving, that’s an offense that’s impossible to stop. At #17, they take a shot on the best linebacker available, which isn’t saying much, and take Ronald Watkins. Hopefully, he won’t have to start, but we’ll see if he’s needed. And finally at #30, they take another player they’ll hopefully never have to use (unless he returns), RB Chase Osborn. Next comes the inactive process, and they resign a couple of their own guys. First off, RBs Slim Shady and Seer Zephyrous, as there’s no real reason not to. They each get two year deals worth $2.5 and $2 million respectively. They also give Jesse Marchand a one-year deal, as he’s quickly falling apart, but they need him for the time being. And after some tough negotiating, they resign Leighton Lee to a long term contract of 4 years, $7M per year, meaning the one-two punch of Lee and Raymond Vans can continue terrorizing defenses. That’s a roster that can make a darn repeat.
San Jose Sabercats Picks #5, 15
Cap Space: $42M (6th most)
And now we come to my squad. After making the Ultimus last season, we regressed pretty hard, falling to a 7-6 squad. We still made the playoffs, but were bounced in the Wild Card round by the eventual champs. This is a team that’s middle of the road in a lot of places, but we have our stars. Unfortunately, a lot of them are getting older. Joliet L. Christ is about to hit his first year of regression and a lot of our key contributors are already feeling it, like Kolby Deringer, Xavier Flash, and the Pennington brothers(?). We’ll need to either sign them to short deals or replace them quickly if we don’t want our window to slam shut. This offseason should be about finding heir apparents at QB and LB, as well as picking up a cornerback, as our pass defense was regularly torched.
Predictions: First off, Footballer Sackerman has already announced his retirement, and will sign a one-year deal to finish out his career with the Sabercats. So that’s one need temporarily filled. They’ll also give a decent contract to Kolby Deringer of 3 years, $6M per year that should last him until he’s ready to retire. However, they can’t hand out contracts to everyone, especially an expensive IA like Jorel Tuck, and he walks. They fix that problem in the draft, selecting safety Tyron Brackenridge at #5 overall. Then at #15, with no other picks that can net them a big player, they take a lottery ticket on QB Jim McMahon, with the hope that he develops into the successor to Joliet L. Christ. From there, they add to their defense. First up, they manage to snag Gekyume Stokeley away from Chicago. They give him a huge offer of 4 years, $7M per season, and he defects. They also pick up Spencer Castle to help aid their secondary, to the tune of 3 years, $2M, and they also lock up DE Danny Methane to a 2 year, $2M contract. Hopefully, those boosts to the defense will help get this team back to its winning ways.
New Orleans Second Line Picks #3, 13, 23, 24
Cap Space: $48.5M (2nd most)
People might be sleeping on the Second Line, but they’re in a position that Arizona was in not long ago. They’re a young team that should make a leap with a bit of experience under their belt. I don’t know if they’ll be a sexy free agent destination, but I do think that in a couple of years, when guys like Stan Francisco, Forrest Gump, and Quenton Bode improve, we’ll be talking about New Orleans a lot more. For now though, they still need to gain some players, especially on defense. Defensive tackle is going to be a serious issue if Benson Harris walks. They only have one cornerback on the team, and all of their safeties are free agents.
Predictions: First thing they do is make sure not to lose any of their young pieces, and lock up Bona’beri Jones to a long-term deal (4 years, $6M). They also secure Benson Harris before he gets poached (3 years, $2.5M). But they do have their eyes on maybe the biggest inactive bid on the block, Jorel Tuck. They have the cap space to throw down the gauntlet, and in the end, they get their man. It’s expensive, 3 years, $7M per season, but it’ll be worth it if he improves their defense by leaps and bounds. Come draft day, they’re picking at #3, and they get Deon Taylor some help as they draft a second corner, Jordan Andrews. He’ll start immediately, and secure that side of the field for years to come. Then at #13, they surprise everyone and go corner again, selecting Willie Woodson. Woodson will be a solid slot corner for them, even if he doesn’t update much, and if he does update, watch out. Then in the third, they have back-to-back picks at #23 and #24. They take Max Lovote and Joe Bobgarter there, two offensive skill players, who are basically just lottery picks to see if they’ll return to the fold. After that, they add a couple more defenders to the mix, resigning their best player from last year, William H. Harrison to a short term deal (2 years, $2.5M), and they also pick up Shannon Hobbs for a stopgap contract (2 years, $2M) just for him to fill in any holes this team has left. And to improve their passing game just a touch, they sign TE Steven Moore to a short 2 year, $2.5M contract. This could take a rising team and let them keep going up.
Austin Copperheads Picks #1, 7, 11, 21, 25
Cap Space: $44M (4th most)
And last but actually least, we have the Austin Copperheads. 0-13. Hell of a way to start your career. We knew that this team was playing for the future and they weren’t going to be good right away, but 0-13 is something special. They’re plenty of holes to fill on this team, and they have plenty of draft capital to help patch those holes. The biggest news of the offseason as it stands is that Dick Wizardry will be changing positions from RB to DT. This means Mako Mendonca will be their only running back, and they may not be ready to hand him the keys to the offense. They also need some more linebackers and cornerbacks, since they only have two of each, and one of each is an impending free agent.
Predictions: Like the other struggling teams, they have a hard time enticing active players to come to Texas. So, they do what we’re all expecting, they make their moves in the draft. They have three picks in the top 11, including #1 overall, and it should be obvious what the move is: RB Ashley Owens. The undisputed best player in the draft, this would explain Wizardry’s move to the defense. From here, Owens and Mendonca would make a potent 1-2 punch at running back. Next is #7 overall, and they keep going offense, selecting WR Dexter Banks II. This move would be the signifier to Sam Hardwick that he won’t be resigned. At #11, they select a cornerback Julien McMorris. This whole process should net them three quality starters in the draft, despite most teams only getting one. They also have a pair of third rounders, and take LB Jason Carver and CB Koda Adok to give them some depth help. They won’t be relying on those two very much though as they resign LB A.J. Robertson and sign CB Johnson Cox III after the draft. They aren’t going to jump into postseason contention right away, but they should at least get their first win as an organization, and for now, that’s progress.
#1
RB Ashley Owens #2
DT Bubba Thumper #3
CB Jordan Andrews #4
TE Honda Edmond #5
S Tyron Brackenridge #6
CB Mervin Leonard #7
WR Dexter Banks #8
WR Saba Donut #9
QB Jordan McCann #10
DT Brayden Ennis #11
CB Julien McMorris #12
WR Action Jackson #13
CB Willie Woodson #14
DT Shane Masters #15
QB Jim McMahon #16
RB Octavius Godspeed #17
LB Ronald Watkins #18
S Takeda Okura #19
S A.C. Payton #20
RB Ducky Donut #21
LB Jason Carver #22
CB Dominick Schultz #23
WR Max Lovote #24
RB Joe Bobgarter #25
CB Koda Adok #26
LB Tyrone Baker #27
WR Jackson Valadez #28
WR Bryce Molnar #29
TE Brennan Biletnikoff #30
RB Chase Osborn (Also, all of these predictions came before free agency started. You can tell this because I already got the Marquise Brown move wrong.)
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