08-18-2019, 11:33 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-18-2019, 06:06 PM by SouljaBoy2007.)
All-NSFL First Team
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Offense
QB: Gus Showbiz
Gus Showbiz most certainly didn’t win this spot by as much as Gambino did last year but he did just edge out Joliet Christ. Showbiz was second in the league in passing touchdowns and first in QB rating. He was also second in yards, just barely being edged out by Cooter Bigsby. Showbiz will most likely come up short in MVP voting this year but at the very least he was the league’s best QB. No other QB is even close to Showbiz in terms of pure passing ability, it takes Joliet Christ being one of the league’s best rushers to compete.
RB: Marquise Brown
Marquise Brown takes home his second consecutive all-NSFL first team selection. He was the league leader in rushing touchdowns and was a much better receiver than Sam Torenson, who was my second choice to make the first team. Of the top 5 players in terms of rushing yards, Brown is first in yards per carry. And while this isn’t a huge factor, because if it was Forrest Gump would be a lot closer to this spot, but Marquise Brown had to split carries with Dorfus Jimbo which is part of why his yards dropped off so much from last year.
WR1: Jordan Von Matt
Adriana Falconi led the league in passing touchdowns and Jordan Von Matt was a big part of that. He was second in yards and touchdowns among wide receivers. He was just 60 yards behind the leader Vincent Valentine and he did that on 10 less receptions. Von Matt did the best he could with his 71 receptions, as he ended up top 4 in yards per reception. His contributions were a huge part of the Liberty edging out the Baltimore Hawks so that they could make the playoffs.
WR2: Vincent Valentine
Vincent made this team last year when he played for Baltimore. He joined the Otters in the offseason and didn’t slow down at all. He improved in almost every statistic except yards per reception. Valentine came in after his highly publicized free agency and was able to lead the Otters to the top seed in the ASFC. Vincent Valentine was miles ahead of every other receiver in the league this season, except maybe his fellow first-team member Jordan Von Matt. I could see Vincent Valentine maybe even receiving at least one vote for OPoY and he should have WRotY in the bag.
FLEX: Sam Torenson
Torenson led the league in rushing yards by a ton this year. This is largely because of his absolutely insane volume, as his QB Rose Jenkins threw the ball less than the true rookie Easton Cole who was completely atrocious. Either way, Torenson had pretty solid efficiency and his team was winning games. His 9 touchdowns were also tied for 3rd in the NSFL. In a couple years when Torenson has more experience, he may surpass what Marquise Brown has been able to do if he’s put in the proper situation.
TE: Johnny Blaze
This year for tight ends was way better than last year was. Johnny Blaze put up numbers similar to those of Paul Dimirio (excluding the 1600 yard season). He was third in receiving touchdowns and was nearly 150 yards above the next closest tight end to what he did this year. It’s honestly a bit of a surprise to me that the Otters aren’t better considering how many great receivers they have. At least their S15 rookie Franklin Armstrong should be set up well when he comes up in S17. If OCO can pick up a true workhorse running back, then they could continue to compete at the same level without Showbiz.
OL: H. Belongwithme, T. Willis, R. Steele, B. Utchers, R. Jeremy <- man there’s always one immature one
Defense
DL: D’Pez Poopsie
Poopsie made the second team last year and this year he was able to make the jump to the top group. He picked up 15 TFLs and also had a decent number of sacks. His tackle numbers could be a bit higher, but honestly, it’s pretty rare to see defensive linemen put up huge numbers in this league. Poopsie was a key part of the 10-3 Butchers and he’s looking to help them get to the Ultimus in their first season. I personally think he will succeed in getting them there.
DL: Thorian Skarsgard
It’s hard for defensive linemen to get sacks but Skarsgard was able to get 11 despite this. He also managed to get quite a few tackles, his 49 were good for 3rd among defensive linemen and 1st among defensive tackles. Thorian Skarsgard is a young talent and if he can continue at his current career pace he could come near the top 5 in terms of career sacks, he’s already over halfway to the top 10. A great start to the player-GM’s career.
DL: Lo Rax
Lo Rax had a very good season. He led the league in tackles for loss. He also picked up 5 sacks and both forced and recovered a fumble.The inactive defensive lineman is able to make a big difference in the running game. Unfortunately for him, his contributions weren’t enough to get the New Orleans Second Line into the playoffs. Like Poopsie, I think Rax may have been able to get more tackles but otherwise, his contributions were huge for NOLA.
LB: Raymond Vans
Once again, Vans claims his spot on the first team. This season was miles better than his last one however. Vans is one of the first defensive players in just about a decade (I may be wrong about this) to receive serious MVP consideration. What may be even crazier than that is that he’s one of 2 defensive players who could receive MVP votes this year. He dropped 19 sacks and also broke up 13 passes. He forced 2 fumbles and recovered 3. The Arizona defense made huge strides this season and Raymond Vans may have been the biggest part of that.
LB: Lanzer Grievous
Last year in the DSFL, Lanzer Grievous broke the tackle record with an absolutely insane 199 tackles. He didn’t quite break any records in his first year in the big leagues, but he did manage to have a great season. He was relatively close to what Raymond Vans did but his season wasn’t talked about much due to the successes of Grithead and Vans. He had the second most sacks in the league and also broke up 15 passes. Grievous is most likely a lock for DRoY and if he doesn’t win then there should be huge riots. I’m sorry rookies, but nobody came close to Lanzer this year.
LB: Ben Horne
Ben Horne had a great year once again. He makes the first team for the second consecutive year. Horne had a really similar season to what he did last year, with 3 less sacks and one more pass breakup. He also had 2 forced fumbles and 2 fumble recoveries this year while he had none last year. Ben also finished in the top 10 for total tackles. The Hawks had Ultimus hangover this season and were unable to return even to the playoffs but it is most certainly not the fault of Ben Horne, great year for the veteran linebacker.
LB: Kolby Deringer
Another guy who was able to make the jump this season from the second to the first team. He was yet another linebacker who racked up sacks and pass defenses. He was just one sack away from being one of just 5 players who got double digit sacks and pass defenses. Deringer was also a decent tackler, as he averaged nearly 7 a game. He didn’t have the best season possible, but he was good enough to make the first team and he should probably win some official recognition too. Had Deringer gotten more tackles, I probably would’ve put him on this team earlier.
CB: Emondov Emoji
Emondov Emoji was actually somewhat close to the historic year had by Ryan Applehort last season. He led the league in pass defenses with a more than respectable 26. Emoji was also tied for second in interceptions among cornerbacks. Mr. Emoji also managed to get a defensive touchdown. His Liberty also made the playoffs with a tie-breaker over the Baltimore Hawks. The young corner really came into his own this season and he can pretty much only go up from here.
CB: Johnny Snuggles
Don’t get snuggled. Snuggles was tied for first in interceptions among corners and second in pass defenses for the whole league. He was one of the key players on a YKW defense that helped them win 10 games in the first year of 13 game seasons. He did a great job of filling the whole left by the retirement of Wraiths legend Ryan Applehort. Snuggles was on the second team last year and now he’s here. It’s too bad he doesn’t have much more to do now, maybe next year he’ll win DBoY.
S: Danny Grithead
Most people know Danny Grithead’s stats. I’m not going to lay them out here. Instead what I’ll do is offer a challenge. If anyone can provide me with a good reason why Danny Grithead shouldn’t be on the first team, I will pay you $5,000,000 in league cash. Grithead makes his 12 million dollar contract look like a bargain when he performs like this. The only question now is whether or not he can win the MVP (would have my vote if I had the power).
S: Lennox Garnett
Lennox Garnett was very close to not winning this award. Logan Lejune was a better safety in pass coverage and Walt Harrison was better at getting to the passer but Garnett was probably better all around than both of them. Garnett was tied for third in the league in interceptions and he also had double the pass defenses of the man who is second in interceptions. What really pushes Garnett over the edge though, is his 2 defensive touchdowns. In my mind he wouldn’t have beaten out Walt Harrison if he didn’t have 2 TDs to Harrison’s 0. LG wins the battle for the last spot on the defense.
Special Teams
K: Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname
The young kicker made a big step this year. He didn’t lead the league in anything but everyone who beat him in FG% was behind him in EXP% and everyone who beat him in EXP% was behind him in FG%. Alex D was probably the best all-around kicker in the NSFL, even better than last year’s KotY winner Kulture Future which is a great accomplishment for such a young guy. This also marks the second consecutive year where my first team kicker is inactive. Kicker might be a bit too easy HO, please nerf.
P: Spencer Lawes
What makes a good punter? Damned if I know. I’m like 75% sure that Lawes is one. He led the league in punts inside the 20 and was also third in the league in punt average. Lawes also did this on some of the league’s highest volume. Arizona’s defense made a big jump this year and became one of the league’s best but I think the 110 TPE inactive punter had a larger part in that that some people give him credit for.
Returner: Sunnycursed
The man with one name had two return touchdowns. He had the only punt return touchdown in the league this year and also had a 99 yard kick return touchdown. He was 6th in kick return average and 2nd in punt return average. Nobody above him in kick return average was even close to him in terms of returning punts. Sunny was the league’s best all-around returner this season. Maybe Sunnycursed should be the one making demands to return every kick. Make it happen, Sunny.
All-NSFL Second Team
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Offense
QB: Joliet Christ
Joliet Christ is the ideal mobile quarterback in my opinion. He is an efficient passer although he doesn’t have the flashiest volume stats. What really makes him though, is that he can run all over people. Despite a comparatively low volume to running backs, he was top 10 in rushing yards. He could’ve had more rushing touchdowns, with just 5, but that is acceptable when he throws for 26 TDs. Joliet Christ made great steps as a passer this season, unfortunately he is retiring so that doesn’t really matter.
RB: Vander Jones
Jones had a case to be on the first team but I didn’t realize it until after I finished the first team and was too lazy to change it. Consider him tied with Sam Torenson. He was lackluster on the ground, with just 600 yards and 2 touchdowns but he makes up for it with his receiving. Jones led the league in receiving touchdowns with 13, which is just the second time a running back has done that and also led the league in total TDs (tied with Marquise Brown). He added about 800 yards through the air for a very respectable 1422 yards from scrimmage. Jones was able to have a very successful season in the Philadelphia RBBC.
WR: Sunnycursed
Sunnycursed is one of the league’s most coveted free agents at the moment and for good reason. As the Otters #2 wide receiver, he had to deal with a relatively low volume as free agent signing Vincent Valentine grabbed a ton of passes. Sunnycursed still managed to capitalize off of the passes he did have in a big way by breaking the record for yards per reception. He was also one of just 3 receivers to go over 1200 yards this season. I hope Sunny can find a home he likes in free agency
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WR: Xavier Flash
Xavier Flash is often memed for being a high TPE player that remains no better than mediocre statistically. But he is extremely efficient, having not dropped a pass in 4 seasons. This season, Flash also had the stats to go with his consistency. He caught 10 touchdowns to go along with his 900 yards and 60 receptions. As someone who had Xavier Flash in fantasy, I thank him for his great improvements and what he was able to do this season.
Flex: Dick Wizardry
Dick Wizardry, the new convert to defensive tackle, had a solid year as he attempted to drag the Copperheads to winning a game. He failed at winning a game but he was able to get 1200 rushing yards and also had 9 touchdowns to go along with that. Wizardry did this on a monster efficiency, as the team needed to keep the ball out of the hands of Easton Cole. Despite his 305 carries, which is still significantly less than Sam Torenson, Dick managed to stay over 4 yards per carry. He also made a decent impact in the receiving game, with almost 300 yards. Hopefully Dick can make a large enough impact on the defensive side of the ball for the Copperheads to win a game.
TE: Cameron Olsen
Last year, Cameron Olsen probably would’ve been on the first team. This season he has to settle for the second team. He had almost 900 yards which is more than respectable for a tight end. To go along with those yards, he added 9 touchdowns which was good for 6th in the league and was second among tight ends. He put up these numbers in the not so pass heavy San Jose offense and while that doesn’t really affect my ranking of him, it is something worth mentioning. Olsen is very young and I think he’s just scratching the surface of what he is able to do.
Defense
DL: Steven Oats
Steven Oats was one of the most versatile defensive linemen in the league this year. He was the closest d-linemen to double digit sacks and TFLs. He didn;t rank super high in either of those stats but he was good at both, placing 4th in sacks and 5th in TFLs The Hawks are lucky to have a guy that’s as good as Oats is against both the pass and the run. What isn’t good for the Hawks is that Steven Oats is inactive so this is most likely the peak of his career. You do what you can.
DL: Ricardo Morris
The young Ultimus champion earns the first “accolade” of his career. This is probably the first of many if he can continue to produce at this level. Morris finished second among all DL for sacks and also had a very solid 40 tackles. He only had 3 TFLs but that can be worked on. Ricardo Morris is a key piece on a young Arizona team that just won their first Ultimus without and asterisk and if he and the rest of the crew from 2 years ago’s draft can continue to perform it will not be the last Ultimus in the desert.
DL: Nero Alexander
The second consecutive rookie from that insane draft class 2 years ago. Nero didn’t have quite as good of a season as Morris did but he was very solid, reaching double digit TFLs. Alexander was probably the best member of S.L.A.M, the self given title of the Yellowknife defensive line. If he can get his sack numbers up, I can see him jumping up to the first team within a couple seasons. The Wraiths are trending up and so is their young defensive lineman. Best of luck to you, Nero.
LB: Mo Berry
Mo Berry had a very solid rookie year. He won Defensive Rookie of the Year and this season he might have been even better than he was last year. He had an absolutely ridiculous season in pass coverage, finishing with 21 pass defenses. Mo Berry also had a very respectable 6 sacks and he was a major piece in preventing the Yeti from going 0-13. If Berry can continue to do what he did this season, the Yeti will be one of the league’s best teams in 3-4 years, once Wolfie McDummy can develop into a competent passer.
LB: Chad Pennington
Chad Pennington had a really solid final season. He did end up retiring in support of the “fair rub” movement. I’m not sure how much the offensive linemen actually like Pennington and his defensive ways but he sure supports them. In his finale, Pennington was 2nd in the league in tackles, had a sack, forced a fumble, broke up 5 passes, and had 2 interceptions. It was a great year for the veteran and I personally wish we got to see a bit more before he retired. Oh well, let’s get a fair rub. Make OL of the year HO you won’t.
LB: Sandip Bakshi
Bakshi led the league in tackles and didn't do much else. 124 tackles is still really impressive but he would've gotten more written about him if he actually did something else, sorry.
LB: Alex Selich
The linebacker position is starting to run thin. Not that there aren’t several good seasons left at this position, just that not many of them stand out. Selich did have a very solid season, however, where he managed to pick up 110 tackles to go along with a smattering of other statistics. He broke up 8 passes and got to the quarterback 4 times. The most impressive statistic he had though, is the 5 fumbles he forced. Selich did a great job of getting to the ball carrier and just ripping the football from their grasp. Alex Selich also got a vote for linebacker of the year, and while I don’t think it was deserved it still helps show how good his season was.
CB: Axel Hornbacher
Another really solid season for the Hawks corner. He finished with 4 interceptions, which was tied for first among corners and he also scored 2 touchdowns, leading the league along with Danny Grithead. Hornbacher broke up 17 passes as one of the leaders on this Hawks defense. He had to take on a much larger role this season, as Arbin Asipi wasn’t flying around all over the field picking off everything and Axel did a great job of it. PDX please come back, we miss you<3.
CB: Deon Taylor
Deon Taylor had a great season last year and just barely missed out on making a team. That was mostly due to the insane seasons had by Ryan Applehort and Arbin Asipi III. There weren’t any seasons like that at the cornerback position this year, so the young Deon Taylor was able to make his first All-NSFL team. It’s great to see Solar Bears prosper, even when their team was taken over by androids. At least the team is back up and running with real players now. Deon had a very solid season this year, with 20 pass defenses which ranked very highly in the league. He is a young cornerback who in a couple years will be a complete shutdown guy who doesn’t let anything past him.
S: Logan Lejune
As I said about Lennox Garnett, Lejune almost took his spot. Lejune was one of the best safeties in pass coverage this season but he was held back from making the first team by his relatively weak stats everywhere else. Either way, Lejune had a very impressive 6 interceptions and broke up 21 passes which was 3rd in the league and first among safeties. He had one of the biggest plays of the season for the Yeti as well. His pick six in the game against the Austin Copperheads swung the momentum towards the Yeti and helped them rally from a 10 point deficit in the most important game of the season.
S: Richard D’attoria V
Richard D’attoria had one of the best all around seasons from any safety this year. He had almost double digit sacks despite not really being considered a hybrid safety. Those sacks went along with his 3 picks and 14 pass defenses. RDAV’s 95 tackles also ranked 5th among all safeties and if you want to really cherrypick, he was first in tackles among free safeties. The 2nd year player becomes a veteran now, going into his 3rd year, and I’m excited to see what he’s capable of when he is a leader on a team.
Special Teams
K: Kulture Fulture
Once again, Fulture is the kicker for the second team. He nailed a very respectable 92.9% of his extra points and 94.6% of his field goals. That field goal number is especially impressive when you consider that the only 2 that he missed were from more than 50 yards out. From under 50 yards, which is the majority of kicks, Fulture was money. That is probably why he won the kicker of the year award. I personally think that Alex D. was better but Fulture’s season is most certainly nothing to sneeze at.
P: Neo Donaldson
Neo Donaldson doesn’t have the best volume stats. He’s not a leader in most of the stats shown on the index. But he is the league leader in percentage of punts inside the 20. That’s impressive. On his 71 punts he managed to land 15 of them inside the 20 yard line. If you’re looking for a good punter, this stat that Sweet was ranting about on the awards live stream will help you find a good, efficient punter.
Returner: Lennox Garnett
Garnett actually won returner of the year so maybe I did something wrong naming Sunnycursed to the first team. Lennox led the league in kick return average and also had a kickoff return TD. His punt return numbers leave some to be desired, which is why I gave Sunnycursed the first team slot. Even Garnett’s “subpar” punt return numbers, got him 4th in the league in punt return average. I guess that could look disappointing compared to what he was able to do returning kickoffs but it’s still very solid. Iam Essellemm has signed a very talented dual threat in the Jamaican safety.
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Offense
QB: Gus Showbiz
Gus Showbiz most certainly didn’t win this spot by as much as Gambino did last year but he did just edge out Joliet Christ. Showbiz was second in the league in passing touchdowns and first in QB rating. He was also second in yards, just barely being edged out by Cooter Bigsby. Showbiz will most likely come up short in MVP voting this year but at the very least he was the league’s best QB. No other QB is even close to Showbiz in terms of pure passing ability, it takes Joliet Christ being one of the league’s best rushers to compete.
RB: Marquise Brown
Marquise Brown takes home his second consecutive all-NSFL first team selection. He was the league leader in rushing touchdowns and was a much better receiver than Sam Torenson, who was my second choice to make the first team. Of the top 5 players in terms of rushing yards, Brown is first in yards per carry. And while this isn’t a huge factor, because if it was Forrest Gump would be a lot closer to this spot, but Marquise Brown had to split carries with Dorfus Jimbo which is part of why his yards dropped off so much from last year.
WR1: Jordan Von Matt
Adriana Falconi led the league in passing touchdowns and Jordan Von Matt was a big part of that. He was second in yards and touchdowns among wide receivers. He was just 60 yards behind the leader Vincent Valentine and he did that on 10 less receptions. Von Matt did the best he could with his 71 receptions, as he ended up top 4 in yards per reception. His contributions were a huge part of the Liberty edging out the Baltimore Hawks so that they could make the playoffs.
WR2: Vincent Valentine
Vincent made this team last year when he played for Baltimore. He joined the Otters in the offseason and didn’t slow down at all. He improved in almost every statistic except yards per reception. Valentine came in after his highly publicized free agency and was able to lead the Otters to the top seed in the ASFC. Vincent Valentine was miles ahead of every other receiver in the league this season, except maybe his fellow first-team member Jordan Von Matt. I could see Vincent Valentine maybe even receiving at least one vote for OPoY and he should have WRotY in the bag.
FLEX: Sam Torenson
Torenson led the league in rushing yards by a ton this year. This is largely because of his absolutely insane volume, as his QB Rose Jenkins threw the ball less than the true rookie Easton Cole who was completely atrocious. Either way, Torenson had pretty solid efficiency and his team was winning games. His 9 touchdowns were also tied for 3rd in the NSFL. In a couple years when Torenson has more experience, he may surpass what Marquise Brown has been able to do if he’s put in the proper situation.
TE: Johnny Blaze
This year for tight ends was way better than last year was. Johnny Blaze put up numbers similar to those of Paul Dimirio (excluding the 1600 yard season). He was third in receiving touchdowns and was nearly 150 yards above the next closest tight end to what he did this year. It’s honestly a bit of a surprise to me that the Otters aren’t better considering how many great receivers they have. At least their S15 rookie Franklin Armstrong should be set up well when he comes up in S17. If OCO can pick up a true workhorse running back, then they could continue to compete at the same level without Showbiz.
OL: H. Belongwithme, T. Willis, R. Steele, B. Utchers, R. Jeremy <- man there’s always one immature one
Defense
DL: D’Pez Poopsie
Poopsie made the second team last year and this year he was able to make the jump to the top group. He picked up 15 TFLs and also had a decent number of sacks. His tackle numbers could be a bit higher, but honestly, it’s pretty rare to see defensive linemen put up huge numbers in this league. Poopsie was a key part of the 10-3 Butchers and he’s looking to help them get to the Ultimus in their first season. I personally think he will succeed in getting them there.
DL: Thorian Skarsgard
It’s hard for defensive linemen to get sacks but Skarsgard was able to get 11 despite this. He also managed to get quite a few tackles, his 49 were good for 3rd among defensive linemen and 1st among defensive tackles. Thorian Skarsgard is a young talent and if he can continue at his current career pace he could come near the top 5 in terms of career sacks, he’s already over halfway to the top 10. A great start to the player-GM’s career.
DL: Lo Rax
Lo Rax had a very good season. He led the league in tackles for loss. He also picked up 5 sacks and both forced and recovered a fumble.The inactive defensive lineman is able to make a big difference in the running game. Unfortunately for him, his contributions weren’t enough to get the New Orleans Second Line into the playoffs. Like Poopsie, I think Rax may have been able to get more tackles but otherwise, his contributions were huge for NOLA.
LB: Raymond Vans
Once again, Vans claims his spot on the first team. This season was miles better than his last one however. Vans is one of the first defensive players in just about a decade (I may be wrong about this) to receive serious MVP consideration. What may be even crazier than that is that he’s one of 2 defensive players who could receive MVP votes this year. He dropped 19 sacks and also broke up 13 passes. He forced 2 fumbles and recovered 3. The Arizona defense made huge strides this season and Raymond Vans may have been the biggest part of that.
LB: Lanzer Grievous
Last year in the DSFL, Lanzer Grievous broke the tackle record with an absolutely insane 199 tackles. He didn’t quite break any records in his first year in the big leagues, but he did manage to have a great season. He was relatively close to what Raymond Vans did but his season wasn’t talked about much due to the successes of Grithead and Vans. He had the second most sacks in the league and also broke up 15 passes. Grievous is most likely a lock for DRoY and if he doesn’t win then there should be huge riots. I’m sorry rookies, but nobody came close to Lanzer this year.
LB: Ben Horne
Ben Horne had a great year once again. He makes the first team for the second consecutive year. Horne had a really similar season to what he did last year, with 3 less sacks and one more pass breakup. He also had 2 forced fumbles and 2 fumble recoveries this year while he had none last year. Ben also finished in the top 10 for total tackles. The Hawks had Ultimus hangover this season and were unable to return even to the playoffs but it is most certainly not the fault of Ben Horne, great year for the veteran linebacker.
LB: Kolby Deringer
Another guy who was able to make the jump this season from the second to the first team. He was yet another linebacker who racked up sacks and pass defenses. He was just one sack away from being one of just 5 players who got double digit sacks and pass defenses. Deringer was also a decent tackler, as he averaged nearly 7 a game. He didn’t have the best season possible, but he was good enough to make the first team and he should probably win some official recognition too. Had Deringer gotten more tackles, I probably would’ve put him on this team earlier.
CB: Emondov Emoji
Emondov Emoji was actually somewhat close to the historic year had by Ryan Applehort last season. He led the league in pass defenses with a more than respectable 26. Emoji was also tied for second in interceptions among cornerbacks. Mr. Emoji also managed to get a defensive touchdown. His Liberty also made the playoffs with a tie-breaker over the Baltimore Hawks. The young corner really came into his own this season and he can pretty much only go up from here.
CB: Johnny Snuggles
Don’t get snuggled. Snuggles was tied for first in interceptions among corners and second in pass defenses for the whole league. He was one of the key players on a YKW defense that helped them win 10 games in the first year of 13 game seasons. He did a great job of filling the whole left by the retirement of Wraiths legend Ryan Applehort. Snuggles was on the second team last year and now he’s here. It’s too bad he doesn’t have much more to do now, maybe next year he’ll win DBoY.
S: Danny Grithead
Most people know Danny Grithead’s stats. I’m not going to lay them out here. Instead what I’ll do is offer a challenge. If anyone can provide me with a good reason why Danny Grithead shouldn’t be on the first team, I will pay you $5,000,000 in league cash. Grithead makes his 12 million dollar contract look like a bargain when he performs like this. The only question now is whether or not he can win the MVP (would have my vote if I had the power).
S: Lennox Garnett
Lennox Garnett was very close to not winning this award. Logan Lejune was a better safety in pass coverage and Walt Harrison was better at getting to the passer but Garnett was probably better all around than both of them. Garnett was tied for third in the league in interceptions and he also had double the pass defenses of the man who is second in interceptions. What really pushes Garnett over the edge though, is his 2 defensive touchdowns. In my mind he wouldn’t have beaten out Walt Harrison if he didn’t have 2 TDs to Harrison’s 0. LG wins the battle for the last spot on the defense.
Special Teams
K: Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname
The young kicker made a big step this year. He didn’t lead the league in anything but everyone who beat him in FG% was behind him in EXP% and everyone who beat him in EXP% was behind him in FG%. Alex D was probably the best all-around kicker in the NSFL, even better than last year’s KotY winner Kulture Future which is a great accomplishment for such a young guy. This also marks the second consecutive year where my first team kicker is inactive. Kicker might be a bit too easy HO, please nerf.
P: Spencer Lawes
What makes a good punter? Damned if I know. I’m like 75% sure that Lawes is one. He led the league in punts inside the 20 and was also third in the league in punt average. Lawes also did this on some of the league’s highest volume. Arizona’s defense made a big jump this year and became one of the league’s best but I think the 110 TPE inactive punter had a larger part in that that some people give him credit for.
Returner: Sunnycursed
The man with one name had two return touchdowns. He had the only punt return touchdown in the league this year and also had a 99 yard kick return touchdown. He was 6th in kick return average and 2nd in punt return average. Nobody above him in kick return average was even close to him in terms of returning punts. Sunny was the league’s best all-around returner this season. Maybe Sunnycursed should be the one making demands to return every kick. Make it happen, Sunny.
All-NSFL Second Team
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Offense
QB: Joliet Christ
Joliet Christ is the ideal mobile quarterback in my opinion. He is an efficient passer although he doesn’t have the flashiest volume stats. What really makes him though, is that he can run all over people. Despite a comparatively low volume to running backs, he was top 10 in rushing yards. He could’ve had more rushing touchdowns, with just 5, but that is acceptable when he throws for 26 TDs. Joliet Christ made great steps as a passer this season, unfortunately he is retiring so that doesn’t really matter.
RB: Vander Jones
Jones had a case to be on the first team but I didn’t realize it until after I finished the first team and was too lazy to change it. Consider him tied with Sam Torenson. He was lackluster on the ground, with just 600 yards and 2 touchdowns but he makes up for it with his receiving. Jones led the league in receiving touchdowns with 13, which is just the second time a running back has done that and also led the league in total TDs (tied with Marquise Brown). He added about 800 yards through the air for a very respectable 1422 yards from scrimmage. Jones was able to have a very successful season in the Philadelphia RBBC.
WR: Sunnycursed
Sunnycursed is one of the league’s most coveted free agents at the moment and for good reason. As the Otters #2 wide receiver, he had to deal with a relatively low volume as free agent signing Vincent Valentine grabbed a ton of passes. Sunnycursed still managed to capitalize off of the passes he did have in a big way by breaking the record for yards per reception. He was also one of just 3 receivers to go over 1200 yards this season. I hope Sunny can find a home he likes in free agency
.WR: Xavier Flash
Xavier Flash is often memed for being a high TPE player that remains no better than mediocre statistically. But he is extremely efficient, having not dropped a pass in 4 seasons. This season, Flash also had the stats to go with his consistency. He caught 10 touchdowns to go along with his 900 yards and 60 receptions. As someone who had Xavier Flash in fantasy, I thank him for his great improvements and what he was able to do this season.
Flex: Dick Wizardry
Dick Wizardry, the new convert to defensive tackle, had a solid year as he attempted to drag the Copperheads to winning a game. He failed at winning a game but he was able to get 1200 rushing yards and also had 9 touchdowns to go along with that. Wizardry did this on a monster efficiency, as the team needed to keep the ball out of the hands of Easton Cole. Despite his 305 carries, which is still significantly less than Sam Torenson, Dick managed to stay over 4 yards per carry. He also made a decent impact in the receiving game, with almost 300 yards. Hopefully Dick can make a large enough impact on the defensive side of the ball for the Copperheads to win a game.
TE: Cameron Olsen
Last year, Cameron Olsen probably would’ve been on the first team. This season he has to settle for the second team. He had almost 900 yards which is more than respectable for a tight end. To go along with those yards, he added 9 touchdowns which was good for 6th in the league and was second among tight ends. He put up these numbers in the not so pass heavy San Jose offense and while that doesn’t really affect my ranking of him, it is something worth mentioning. Olsen is very young and I think he’s just scratching the surface of what he is able to do.
Defense
DL: Steven Oats
Steven Oats was one of the most versatile defensive linemen in the league this year. He was the closest d-linemen to double digit sacks and TFLs. He didn;t rank super high in either of those stats but he was good at both, placing 4th in sacks and 5th in TFLs The Hawks are lucky to have a guy that’s as good as Oats is against both the pass and the run. What isn’t good for the Hawks is that Steven Oats is inactive so this is most likely the peak of his career. You do what you can.
DL: Ricardo Morris
The young Ultimus champion earns the first “accolade” of his career. This is probably the first of many if he can continue to produce at this level. Morris finished second among all DL for sacks and also had a very solid 40 tackles. He only had 3 TFLs but that can be worked on. Ricardo Morris is a key piece on a young Arizona team that just won their first Ultimus without and asterisk and if he and the rest of the crew from 2 years ago’s draft can continue to perform it will not be the last Ultimus in the desert.
DL: Nero Alexander
The second consecutive rookie from that insane draft class 2 years ago. Nero didn’t have quite as good of a season as Morris did but he was very solid, reaching double digit TFLs. Alexander was probably the best member of S.L.A.M, the self given title of the Yellowknife defensive line. If he can get his sack numbers up, I can see him jumping up to the first team within a couple seasons. The Wraiths are trending up and so is their young defensive lineman. Best of luck to you, Nero.
LB: Mo Berry
Mo Berry had a very solid rookie year. He won Defensive Rookie of the Year and this season he might have been even better than he was last year. He had an absolutely ridiculous season in pass coverage, finishing with 21 pass defenses. Mo Berry also had a very respectable 6 sacks and he was a major piece in preventing the Yeti from going 0-13. If Berry can continue to do what he did this season, the Yeti will be one of the league’s best teams in 3-4 years, once Wolfie McDummy can develop into a competent passer.
LB: Chad Pennington
Chad Pennington had a really solid final season. He did end up retiring in support of the “fair rub” movement. I’m not sure how much the offensive linemen actually like Pennington and his defensive ways but he sure supports them. In his finale, Pennington was 2nd in the league in tackles, had a sack, forced a fumble, broke up 5 passes, and had 2 interceptions. It was a great year for the veteran and I personally wish we got to see a bit more before he retired. Oh well, let’s get a fair rub. Make OL of the year HO you won’t.
LB: Sandip Bakshi
Bakshi led the league in tackles and didn't do much else. 124 tackles is still really impressive but he would've gotten more written about him if he actually did something else, sorry.
LB: Alex Selich
The linebacker position is starting to run thin. Not that there aren’t several good seasons left at this position, just that not many of them stand out. Selich did have a very solid season, however, where he managed to pick up 110 tackles to go along with a smattering of other statistics. He broke up 8 passes and got to the quarterback 4 times. The most impressive statistic he had though, is the 5 fumbles he forced. Selich did a great job of getting to the ball carrier and just ripping the football from their grasp. Alex Selich also got a vote for linebacker of the year, and while I don’t think it was deserved it still helps show how good his season was.
CB: Axel Hornbacher
Another really solid season for the Hawks corner. He finished with 4 interceptions, which was tied for first among corners and he also scored 2 touchdowns, leading the league along with Danny Grithead. Hornbacher broke up 17 passes as one of the leaders on this Hawks defense. He had to take on a much larger role this season, as Arbin Asipi wasn’t flying around all over the field picking off everything and Axel did a great job of it. PDX please come back, we miss you<3.
CB: Deon Taylor
Deon Taylor had a great season last year and just barely missed out on making a team. That was mostly due to the insane seasons had by Ryan Applehort and Arbin Asipi III. There weren’t any seasons like that at the cornerback position this year, so the young Deon Taylor was able to make his first All-NSFL team. It’s great to see Solar Bears prosper, even when their team was taken over by androids. At least the team is back up and running with real players now. Deon had a very solid season this year, with 20 pass defenses which ranked very highly in the league. He is a young cornerback who in a couple years will be a complete shutdown guy who doesn’t let anything past him.
S: Logan Lejune
As I said about Lennox Garnett, Lejune almost took his spot. Lejune was one of the best safeties in pass coverage this season but he was held back from making the first team by his relatively weak stats everywhere else. Either way, Lejune had a very impressive 6 interceptions and broke up 21 passes which was 3rd in the league and first among safeties. He had one of the biggest plays of the season for the Yeti as well. His pick six in the game against the Austin Copperheads swung the momentum towards the Yeti and helped them rally from a 10 point deficit in the most important game of the season.
S: Richard D’attoria V
Richard D’attoria had one of the best all around seasons from any safety this year. He had almost double digit sacks despite not really being considered a hybrid safety. Those sacks went along with his 3 picks and 14 pass defenses. RDAV’s 95 tackles also ranked 5th among all safeties and if you want to really cherrypick, he was first in tackles among free safeties. The 2nd year player becomes a veteran now, going into his 3rd year, and I’m excited to see what he’s capable of when he is a leader on a team.
Special Teams
K: Kulture Fulture
Once again, Fulture is the kicker for the second team. He nailed a very respectable 92.9% of his extra points and 94.6% of his field goals. That field goal number is especially impressive when you consider that the only 2 that he missed were from more than 50 yards out. From under 50 yards, which is the majority of kicks, Fulture was money. That is probably why he won the kicker of the year award. I personally think that Alex D. was better but Fulture’s season is most certainly nothing to sneeze at.
P: Neo Donaldson
Neo Donaldson doesn’t have the best volume stats. He’s not a leader in most of the stats shown on the index. But he is the league leader in percentage of punts inside the 20. That’s impressive. On his 71 punts he managed to land 15 of them inside the 20 yard line. If you’re looking for a good punter, this stat that Sweet was ranting about on the awards live stream will help you find a good, efficient punter.
Returner: Lennox Garnett
Garnett actually won returner of the year so maybe I did something wrong naming Sunnycursed to the first team. Lennox led the league in kick return average and also had a kickoff return TD. His punt return numbers leave some to be desired, which is why I gave Sunnycursed the first team slot. Even Garnett’s “subpar” punt return numbers, got him 4th in the league in punt return average. I guess that could look disappointing compared to what he was able to do returning kickoffs but it’s still very solid. Iam Essellemm has signed a very talented dual threat in the Jamaican safety.
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