Records are an interesting thing, because they provide factual evidence to back up all these otherwise opinion based claims on who is better and who is the real taco around here. Well almost, because as some wise man said all numbers and stats can be twisted in a way to make you look good or bad. So if I had the choice to choose any record to break, one might think it would be the single game DSFL tackle record that I was so close to breaking or the DSFL season tackle record, which by the way, I am on course to break, but no. Tackles are a nice stat and all and of course it tells you that you are doing something right, because you are breaking up a play, but what it lacks is context. You really don’t know how far from the line of scrimmage the player was when you made the tackle, it really can be just stat padding in some ways.
You know what doesn’t have that same error? Well of course it's sacks! Those glorious sacks that really tells everyone around you that you are just pounding that quarterback and making his life a living hell. And of course I want to break the single game sack record. You know why? Because I want to make that one quarterback feel like he can’t have one single moment after the snap to think about what he is going to do next, he’ll always be thinking oh shit, oh shit when is that motherfucker Maurice going to come and take me down. I’ll be so badly inside his head, he’ll have nightmares about me. At the same time I’ll be making his offensive line look so bad they won’t come to practice for weeks because of the shame. I’ll make them look silly and take their lunch money too, be the baddest son of a bitch on the field. If I break the record, I could go all out and be poppin that champagne and celebrating like a mad man, but no not on this occasion. The best way to celebrate, would be to send that sorry little quarterback, who I got to so many times a postcard with the words “I’ll be watching you”
You know what doesn’t have that same error? Well of course it's sacks! Those glorious sacks that really tells everyone around you that you are just pounding that quarterback and making his life a living hell. And of course I want to break the single game sack record. You know why? Because I want to make that one quarterback feel like he can’t have one single moment after the snap to think about what he is going to do next, he’ll always be thinking oh shit, oh shit when is that motherfucker Maurice going to come and take me down. I’ll be so badly inside his head, he’ll have nightmares about me. At the same time I’ll be making his offensive line look so bad they won’t come to practice for weeks because of the shame. I’ll make them look silly and take their lunch money too, be the baddest son of a bitch on the field. If I break the record, I could go all out and be poppin that champagne and celebrating like a mad man, but no not on this occasion. The best way to celebrate, would be to send that sorry little quarterback, who I got to so many times a postcard with the words “I’ll be watching you”