Quote:19) OL or K/P Appreciation
Written: Write about an active human Offensive Lineman or special teamer that is in the playoffs, and how they will or did affect the outcome.
Today I will be talking about our kicker, ForThe Brand. People often overlook the kicker position, but often they bring a huge influence on the game. This was also the case in the Hawks victory in the NSFC semi finals in the S19 playoffs.
In a 39-17 victotry over the Colorado Yeti, ForThe Brand had a hoot of a game, recording 4 field goals and going 3 for 4 in the extra point department. In a 22 score differnce, Brand made sure that 15 of those points came from him. You might look at these numbers and say that even without the kicker the game owuld have been won, but little do you know how a field goal can swing a game in a certain direction, add to a certain flow of the game. The best that came from Brand were 2 40-50 yard field goals. One was blast from the 43 yards and the other was a bolt hit from 46 yards. Proving that Brand can hit field goals under some presurre.
I love my special team players and they deserve all the recognision for their plays in this game. Shoutout to all the special team people out there, you are loved.
Quote:Going to Disneyland!:Who was the Ultimus MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland. (Can be completed after the Ultimus game)
Hugh Mongo gets to go to fucking Disneyland, wooptie fucking doo. So he gets to fly all the way from the county of the hot american weather, Orange County to Florida and goes to the most magical place on earth and you will never guess who he gets to fucking meet when he got there. All his favorite charachters from all his favorite disney movies, charchters like, the little mermaid, Donald Duck, Goofy, Princess Jasmine, Buzz Lightyears, Thumper from the bambi movies, Huey, Dewey, but not louie, because his actor had the flu and stayed at home sick and they couldnt find someone to replace the actor, Captain Hook, Mad Hatter, Queen of Hearts, Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Toulouse, Mister Smee, Dopey, Doc, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy, Evil Queen, Gus Gus, Fairy Godmother, Pinocchio from the 1940 film named Pinocchio, Honest John and also Gideon, Queen Elinor, Flynn Rider, Baloo, Simba, Robin Hood, Sherrif of Nottingham, Pongo, Winnie the Pooh, Kanga & Roo, Li Shang, Belle and the Beast, Timothy Q Mouse, Esmeralda, Lilo and Stitch and even Zazu from the Lion King movies. It was truely a wonderful day for Hugh Mongo and his whole family who he had brought along with him on this magical journey. Hugh Mongo sure hopes he can become MVP next year again so he can go again.
Quote:16) Dynasty
Written: Convince us that your team will be the next NSFL or DSFL dynasty.
In all reality if you think about it, being a dynasty in this sim is just having the sim love ur dick and wanting you to keep winning for some fucking reason. So all you really have to do is get the sim on your side and you will just keep winning the Ultimus. Ofcourse part of it is also making smart decisions in the trade and draft department, but also its just for some reason getting absolutely lucky and hitting the hidden ability number which the sim likes and then the sim decides that yes you are deserving of winning the cup over and over again defiling all odds and winning 3 back to back away final games for some god unknown reason, besides black magic and dick riding.
Anyways the Balitmore Hawks will be the next NSFL dynasty because we have the hottest QB in the world 3x back to back QB of the year and if I dont win QB of the year this season we all know this league is a simulation and nothing is real, so why does any of it matter. We have hot WR's in Maddox and a RB in Bigsby. We got our boy EZPZ who is just getting better and better. We have the littest safeties and a bunch of other good defensive players, so yeah why not us for nexy dynasty, oh wait its because the sim hates us thats why not.
Quote:10) Commissioner
Written: ADwyer, long time commissioner, is stepping down in the new year. If you were to replace him, what changes would you make to the league?
If I were to take over as the commissioner of this league I would make some big changes. First of all this is a 'football sim', yes I see a lot of people using their hands to play and not their feet. So my first step is to change this from an 'american football' simulation league to a proper 'football' league. Or as you Mericans call it 'soccer' *shudder*. That's right, it's football time baby. Choose out of 11 differtn and very interesting positions to play from. You like scoring goals? Become and striker and experiences a ton of differnt choses, want to be a tall dude who heads all the balls? Become a target man striker or enjoy a pressing style? Pressing forward striker. You like stopping balls? Become a goalie. You essentric as fuck? Well then a sweeper keeper is your play style.
Also why are all these teams in america? Move all these teams to biased best continent, Europe. Yelllowknife now plays in Stockholm, Orange County will now be located in Athens and Baltimore will be moved to Tottemham.
Also I`m going to changen this goshdarn Accornym, its been 19 season why is it still NSFL.
Well those are some of the big changes I would make if I were a commish of this league.