Well here’s my mock draft. I tried my best to keep as unbias as I could and made sure everyone in the league would be happy with it. I’m only doing because I am bored as heck, and I heard this is some easy money. This took me a whopping 36 minutes, so please read it with all seriousness.
Round One:
1) Austin Copperheads (from Honolulu): Big Edd DT TPE 169 -
Personally, I think this is a no brainer. Who else in this class can consume an entire Thanksgiving dinner and still ask for seconds, no one. Edd is quite the speedy big man at a whopping 80 speed, crazy stuff right there. For those asking why Edd is listed as the top DT from the class, Edd really does not care.
2) New Orleans Second Line (from Sarasota): Big Edd DT TPE 169 -
Oh, did I mention, Edd is such a superior being that he takes up more than one pick sooo… yea. I have no idea how Austin and New Orleans are going to work this out, but that is not my job to worry about, I just write media.
3) San Jose Sabercats: Big Edd DT TPE 169 -It looks like San Jose’s biggest positional need next year is at the cornerback position. I think Edd is versatile enough to not only play on three different teams, but also play at different positions. Look for the Sabercats to call Big Edd’s name on draft night. Picking Edd over that bum corner from Portland will for sure be a better option. He won’t get burnt as often ass Zamir and will definitely get more sacks.
4) Arizona Outlaws: Haha Mango-Panda LB TPE 171 - Ha, you thought I was going to say Big Edd again, well you thought wrong. That would be so selfish of me to pick Big Edd four times. Panda is a beast at the linebacker position. He reminds of Darius Leonard and how they both just gobble up tackles like it is nothing. This will be a great pickup for Arizona and will help their defense greatly.
5) Philadelphia Liberty: Stanislaw Koniecpolski LB TPE 229 - Stanislaw Koniecpolski has been nothing but great, both on and off the field. Off the field, the dude is cool to have in the locker room. But on the field, there isn’t anybody that works harder and more diligently than him. At 229 TPE, he is currently second highest in this draft class and is near the top of the league in terms of total tackles. Philly will be able to fill up the hole in their defense with a great player like Stanislaw.
6) Philadelphia Liberty (from Chicago): White Goodman RB TPE 221 - Goodman also just happens to be another Birddog off the board. I have no idea if Philly needs a running back but if this was a fantasy league, I am definitely taking White Goodman this early. The playmaker in Goodman allows him to excel in the Dallas offense and score a lot of touchdowns. He has a lot of TPE which is nice too I guess.
7) Yellowknife Wraiths: Monterey "Monty" Jack QB TPE 205 - There is so much to say about Monty Jack. The dude is a stud. Great passer. He does throw the occasional pick six (just to hide the fact that he may or may not actually be superman). Yellowknife, with this pick, have found their franchise QB of the future.
8) Honolulu Hahalua (from Austin): William Lim WR TPE 195 - Next up, the best wide receiver in the DSFL William Lim. I saw this crazy son of a gun absolutely moss to corners yesterday when he grabbed his first TD of the year. His ability to go up and grab the ball is unmatched. The dude is really awesome to have in the locker room as well, Honolulu will most definitely love this guy.
9) Colorado Yeti: Kichwa Jones RB TPE 196 - Another speedy running back from Dallas off the board. Kichwa plays every single game like it is his last. Day in and day out he proves why he is a top 10 pick in this class. It also is not a coincidence that he is a 2 time player of the week for the bird dogs. He is a hard runner, kind of reminds me of Dalvin Cook; hard runner, yet very elusive.
10) Orange County Otters: Deshun Jones DT TPE 193 - The second-best defensive tackle in this class just happens to be another Dallas Birddog, such a coincidence. Orange County will look to anchor their defensive line with Deshun Jones. At 193 TPE, Deshun has proven himself to be an efficient earner and he is quite fast.
11) Baltimore Hawks: Benson Bayley Jr. LB TPE 153 - Next on the list is Benson Bayley jr. Bayley leads Dallas in sacks and pass deflections, and also happens to be the new GM of Chicago… Well, let’s just imagine that Bayley is not a GM for now . Who doesn’t like a bit of Taylor Swift music, am I right?
12) New Orleans Second Line: Eric Barlow S TPE 178 - Eric is an all-around playmaker on defense. Last week he had an interception that ultimately flipped the momentum and helped Dallas win. New Orleans will find out just how great Barlow is on the field. At 178 TPE Eric Barlow is also gaining TPE at a pretty good rate.
Round Two:
13) Honolulu Hahalua: Jeffrey Phillips TE TPE 228 - The man, the myth, the legend - Jeff. Jeff has practically carried his offense this year and has been lighting it up recently. He is one of the best TPE earners in this class and by far the best tight end. Somehow, he slips out of the first round and Honolulu finds themself a corner piece to build their newly founded team off of.
14) Sarasota Sailfish: James Cho DE TPE 164 - Cho has a great sense of where the ball carrier is. Great outside rusher as well will ensure the nobody will beat him outside. Cho has started every game so far in the DSFL and will look to continue that of the new roster of the Sarasota Sailfish.
15) San Jose Sabercats: Colt Mendoza CB 180 - I don’t if you have heard of this guy or not, but he really is something else. He has the ability and tools to run a team of his own if he really wanted to. Colt, or “Stego” is what his teammates call him, is a great head to have in your locker room and war room. It may surprise some people as to why he fell this low, but I did this for one reason; he didn’t have Big Edd in his mock, shameful. Great guy nonetheless.
16) Arizona Outlaws: Abbas Muhammed S TPE 103 - Here, Arizona finds the ballhawk they need to force turnovers. Muhammed leads his team in interceptions. The Outlaws' defense will be greatly assisted by Muhammed’s presence on the field.
17) Arizona Outlaws (from Philadelphia): Hamish MacAndrew S TPE 147 - Along with Abbas, Arizona looks picks up another great Safety in MacAndrew to solidify their “No Fly Zone”. MacAndrew has been a very cool guy in the locker room from what I’ve heard. Nice pick Arizona.
18) Philadelphia Liberty (from Chicago): Mike Lee WR TPE 146 - Philly picks up a speedy receiver in Lee. He has not been too active recently, probably been in the gym because Birddgos do not take days off.
19) Yellowknife Wraiths: Bobby Boomski K/P - AKA Mr. STEAL YO GIRL. Bobby is the best player in this class not named Big Edd.
20) Austin Copperheads: KYLE - Kyle is a cool guy I guess, but he probably will not get drafted. I put him here because I honestly felt bad for the guy.
21) Colorado Yeti: Mr. Large Sternum DE TPE 50 - I advise to not let this man’s TPE to faze you from his skill on the field. No one dares to even lineup against Large Sternum. Colorado will be delighted to have him on their defensive line to instill fear into their opponents.
22) Orange County Otters: Gimmy Jarrapolo QB TPE 50 - Yes, our lord and savior comes back from the dead. The Otters may not need a QB, but they know they cannot pass on the oppurtunity to pick up such a player like Gimmy. Gimmy tells me that whereever he gets drafted will win the Ulitimus, so watch out for Gimmy and OCO next season.
23) Chicago Butchers (from Baltimore Hawks): Zamir Kehla CB 195 - I honestly feel bad for Chicago here. Not only do they waste their second round pick, but they’ll have an even bigger hole to fill at the corner back position. Zamir aka “Mr.Burnt Toast” will make sure that your team loses every game. It shocks me that he’s at 195 TPE, because he really plays like he’s at 50 TPE. 10/10 Bust.
24) New Orleans Second Line: Fawn DillMballs LB TPE 171 - What a name. Why else would New Orleans not pick him up this early? He’s been an absolute monster on the field tackling players in the backfield and even scoring touchdowns like he did yesterday. The former 69th overall pick and my winner of the greatest name in this class will bolster an already dominant Second Line defense.
word count: 1586 words
Round One:
1) Austin Copperheads (from Honolulu): Big Edd DT TPE 169 -
Personally, I think this is a no brainer. Who else in this class can consume an entire Thanksgiving dinner and still ask for seconds, no one. Edd is quite the speedy big man at a whopping 80 speed, crazy stuff right there. For those asking why Edd is listed as the top DT from the class, Edd really does not care.
2) New Orleans Second Line (from Sarasota): Big Edd DT TPE 169 -
Oh, did I mention, Edd is such a superior being that he takes up more than one pick sooo… yea. I have no idea how Austin and New Orleans are going to work this out, but that is not my job to worry about, I just write media.
3) San Jose Sabercats: Big Edd DT TPE 169 -It looks like San Jose’s biggest positional need next year is at the cornerback position. I think Edd is versatile enough to not only play on three different teams, but also play at different positions. Look for the Sabercats to call Big Edd’s name on draft night. Picking Edd over that bum corner from Portland will for sure be a better option. He won’t get burnt as often ass Zamir and will definitely get more sacks.
4) Arizona Outlaws: Haha Mango-Panda LB TPE 171 - Ha, you thought I was going to say Big Edd again, well you thought wrong. That would be so selfish of me to pick Big Edd four times. Panda is a beast at the linebacker position. He reminds of Darius Leonard and how they both just gobble up tackles like it is nothing. This will be a great pickup for Arizona and will help their defense greatly.
5) Philadelphia Liberty: Stanislaw Koniecpolski LB TPE 229 - Stanislaw Koniecpolski has been nothing but great, both on and off the field. Off the field, the dude is cool to have in the locker room. But on the field, there isn’t anybody that works harder and more diligently than him. At 229 TPE, he is currently second highest in this draft class and is near the top of the league in terms of total tackles. Philly will be able to fill up the hole in their defense with a great player like Stanislaw.
6) Philadelphia Liberty (from Chicago): White Goodman RB TPE 221 - Goodman also just happens to be another Birddog off the board. I have no idea if Philly needs a running back but if this was a fantasy league, I am definitely taking White Goodman this early. The playmaker in Goodman allows him to excel in the Dallas offense and score a lot of touchdowns. He has a lot of TPE which is nice too I guess.
7) Yellowknife Wraiths: Monterey "Monty" Jack QB TPE 205 - There is so much to say about Monty Jack. The dude is a stud. Great passer. He does throw the occasional pick six (just to hide the fact that he may or may not actually be superman). Yellowknife, with this pick, have found their franchise QB of the future.
8) Honolulu Hahalua (from Austin): William Lim WR TPE 195 - Next up, the best wide receiver in the DSFL William Lim. I saw this crazy son of a gun absolutely moss to corners yesterday when he grabbed his first TD of the year. His ability to go up and grab the ball is unmatched. The dude is really awesome to have in the locker room as well, Honolulu will most definitely love this guy.
9) Colorado Yeti: Kichwa Jones RB TPE 196 - Another speedy running back from Dallas off the board. Kichwa plays every single game like it is his last. Day in and day out he proves why he is a top 10 pick in this class. It also is not a coincidence that he is a 2 time player of the week for the bird dogs. He is a hard runner, kind of reminds me of Dalvin Cook; hard runner, yet very elusive.
10) Orange County Otters: Deshun Jones DT TPE 193 - The second-best defensive tackle in this class just happens to be another Dallas Birddog, such a coincidence. Orange County will look to anchor their defensive line with Deshun Jones. At 193 TPE, Deshun has proven himself to be an efficient earner and he is quite fast.
11) Baltimore Hawks: Benson Bayley Jr. LB TPE 153 - Next on the list is Benson Bayley jr. Bayley leads Dallas in sacks and pass deflections, and also happens to be the new GM of Chicago… Well, let’s just imagine that Bayley is not a GM for now . Who doesn’t like a bit of Taylor Swift music, am I right?
12) New Orleans Second Line: Eric Barlow S TPE 178 - Eric is an all-around playmaker on defense. Last week he had an interception that ultimately flipped the momentum and helped Dallas win. New Orleans will find out just how great Barlow is on the field. At 178 TPE Eric Barlow is also gaining TPE at a pretty good rate.
Round Two:
13) Honolulu Hahalua: Jeffrey Phillips TE TPE 228 - The man, the myth, the legend - Jeff. Jeff has practically carried his offense this year and has been lighting it up recently. He is one of the best TPE earners in this class and by far the best tight end. Somehow, he slips out of the first round and Honolulu finds themself a corner piece to build their newly founded team off of.
14) Sarasota Sailfish: James Cho DE TPE 164 - Cho has a great sense of where the ball carrier is. Great outside rusher as well will ensure the nobody will beat him outside. Cho has started every game so far in the DSFL and will look to continue that of the new roster of the Sarasota Sailfish.
15) San Jose Sabercats: Colt Mendoza CB 180 - I don’t if you have heard of this guy or not, but he really is something else. He has the ability and tools to run a team of his own if he really wanted to. Colt, or “Stego” is what his teammates call him, is a great head to have in your locker room and war room. It may surprise some people as to why he fell this low, but I did this for one reason; he didn’t have Big Edd in his mock, shameful. Great guy nonetheless.
16) Arizona Outlaws: Abbas Muhammed S TPE 103 - Here, Arizona finds the ballhawk they need to force turnovers. Muhammed leads his team in interceptions. The Outlaws' defense will be greatly assisted by Muhammed’s presence on the field.
17) Arizona Outlaws (from Philadelphia): Hamish MacAndrew S TPE 147 - Along with Abbas, Arizona looks picks up another great Safety in MacAndrew to solidify their “No Fly Zone”. MacAndrew has been a very cool guy in the locker room from what I’ve heard. Nice pick Arizona.
18) Philadelphia Liberty (from Chicago): Mike Lee WR TPE 146 - Philly picks up a speedy receiver in Lee. He has not been too active recently, probably been in the gym because Birddgos do not take days off.
19) Yellowknife Wraiths: Bobby Boomski K/P - AKA Mr. STEAL YO GIRL. Bobby is the best player in this class not named Big Edd.
20) Austin Copperheads: KYLE - Kyle is a cool guy I guess, but he probably will not get drafted. I put him here because I honestly felt bad for the guy.
21) Colorado Yeti: Mr. Large Sternum DE TPE 50 - I advise to not let this man’s TPE to faze you from his skill on the field. No one dares to even lineup against Large Sternum. Colorado will be delighted to have him on their defensive line to instill fear into their opponents.
22) Orange County Otters: Gimmy Jarrapolo QB TPE 50 - Yes, our lord and savior comes back from the dead. The Otters may not need a QB, but they know they cannot pass on the oppurtunity to pick up such a player like Gimmy. Gimmy tells me that whereever he gets drafted will win the Ulitimus, so watch out for Gimmy and OCO next season.
23) Chicago Butchers (from Baltimore Hawks): Zamir Kehla CB 195 - I honestly feel bad for Chicago here. Not only do they waste their second round pick, but they’ll have an even bigger hole to fill at the corner back position. Zamir aka “Mr.Burnt Toast” will make sure that your team loses every game. It shocks me that he’s at 195 TPE, because he really plays like he’s at 50 TPE. 10/10 Bust.
24) New Orleans Second Line: Fawn DillMballs LB TPE 171 - What a name. Why else would New Orleans not pick him up this early? He’s been an absolute monster on the field tackling players in the backfield and even scoring touchdowns like he did yesterday. The former 69th overall pick and my winner of the greatest name in this class will bolster an already dominant Second Line defense.
word count: 1586 words