04-08-2020, 09:33 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-09-2020, 11:10 AM by Fordhammer.)
Seeing as I was Mr. Irrelevant in the DSFL draft, I am really hesitant to let that happen again. I want to set a record with how many spots I move up so I am going to write a public message to every GM duo individually on why they should draft me. To preface this whole thing I want to let every team know that none of these requests are memes or un-genuine, I really would like to play or be drafted by each team in the NSFL. If any of you GMs would like to contact me and talk further about the situation I would be happy to oblige, my DMs are open 24/7 (but my responses are time dependent.)
Since I am using the order in the "Clickable Smilies" tray I will begin with the
Chicago Butchers
GMs - @ValorX77 @`steelsound` @Jiggly_333 @MrStennett @`BayleyIsland`, @Muford
To whom it may concern,
It is no secret that Chicago has a tough road ahead, and we all know why it's so. It is of no fault of your own, you inherited a dumpster fire that any GM would never willingly accept if they weren't just a little bit crazy. I mean this as a complement, because the next few seasons will be certainly crazy for you and will require an iron resolve along with a tad bit of skillful free agent acquisition. If I fall to round 6 I implore you to draft me, I will be your best shot at a resurgence, I will be the future face of the franchise. A face that will blow away the competition, a face that will fix the image. If you don't use your 6th round on me if I am available, I will not be available. Let me help you fix the mess that many past GMs left behind.
Colorado Yeti
GMs - @Frick_Nasty, @`woelker11`
To whom it may concern,
I know that you guys have a great Quarterback of the present, but it is time to start thinking about a Quarterback of the future. The back-up you have right now will not cut it if you want an easy transition into a new championship window, dare I say he is at best a serviceable QB that you can throw away to expansion in a few seasons with no regrets. What you need is a Quarterback that you know will be a winner as soon as you call on him. That Quarterback is me. Drafting me will be the smartest move you can make as GMs this upcoming draft, and the best part is that I will cost you no higher than a 5th round pick. We all know that Chicago will be gunning for me but you have the unique opportunity of drafting 5 whole rounds before they show up to the draft. Don't make the same mistake that the DSFL GMs did, draft a true winner to be your future.
Arizona Outlaws
GMs - @Unicorn, @Drizzy
To whom it may concern,
Ok, I know you guys think you have a hot shit QB up and coming in Jay Cue, but there is major issue you guys need to look into. The man is the spitting image of NFL flame out and ultimate party boy Johnny Football. I would not expect this man to last until regression, in fact with how hard he likely parties he has probably already hit regression. Do yourselves a favor and draft me in S22 to replace him when he ultimately crashes a car killing 3 innocents in a DUI incident the night before a game. Save yourselves the future headache of having to pick up an inactive QB such as Zack Vega and have Tom Sofa warm and ready to come out of the oven. As the team with the most picks in the draft spending one before the 6th round on little 'ole me is an investment you can't afford to miss. Worst case scenario you can probably trade me to Chicago for even more picks.
Yellowknife Wraiths
GMs - @flyeaglesfly29, @shadyshoelace
To whom it may concern,
You guys may think that drafting a GM to be a QB is a good idea, but you would be sorely mistaken. QB is constantly the highest position to receive new players and all you need to do is a little bit of scout work to find the best prospect (read: me). Wasting a max earner on a slot that there are already multiple max earners for is a little bit foolish if you ask me, especially since you are being forced to use a 2nd round pick on a 6th round position. You should instead use your player to create in a position that you will take significant losses in expansion, perhaps a running back or wide receiver. If you truly knew what was good for you, you would position switch now while it is F R E E and consider using a later pick on me. Of course that would be the smart thing to do, and I know both of you are smart GMs. I expect to hear you guys calling me soon.
San Jose Sabercats
GMs - @ckroyal92, @Rradum
To whom it may concern,
Honestly I could copy and paste the exact same message I sent Yellowknife and nobody would notice or care, but since I care and I want you to care I will concoct an entire new message to get your guys attention. Yes, I know you guys think you have a settles future plan, but you really don't. A quarterback is a position that you should consider heavily going another direction in, after all why would you draft Chris Ramos last season if you never had plans of using him at QB. Put your GMs in the positions that effect win percentage that are also less popular and you will see a return to greatness not seen in a long time. There is no coincidence that Joilet Christ was not a GM create. I implore you to heavily consider using a pick on me, but only if you know what's good for you. (btw did your guys scouting report get lost in the mail?)
Orange County Otters
GMs - @`Laser`, @Revolution5
To whom it may concern,
Now is the time! Franklin Armstrong is all down hill from here! Now is the time to go out there and find some new blood to replace his old blood after 3 or 4 more seasons. You guys run easily the most well tuned franchise in sim league history and you know the importance of a clean hand off between quarterbacks. Selecting me will put you guys in great position to never miss a beat, to make all the other teams mad and to capitalize on what will become the Ultimus Wind. The cost for me is not a high one, I'm not worth a first, second or even third round, but I can be the future for you all the same. Let me help you guys continue the incredible dynasty you have built; let me help you guys make the right decision: call my name on draft day.
Baltimore Hawks
GMs - @Huskies311, @Duilio05
To whom it may concern,
Now I could go a similar route as I did with Arizona, but I will give Chika Fujiwara the benefit of the doubt, even if he sucks as a pitcher in the PBE. Instead I will appeal to your business savvy. You know it is no secret that I will be a name on many team's radar, especially after today. I implore you to look into your business side and think about this, a) do you want to hedge your bets? To draft me as an insurance policy on Fujiwara? Worst case scenario in this event is you end up with great trade bait in later seasons. Best case scenario is Fujiwara flames out and you have another instant starter at the same or even higher level than Chika. There is also option b) you feign so much interest in me that you force another team's hand. In this option you will see teams flood your inbox with trade requests for your picks and all you will find is straight money profit. There is absolutely no downside for you placing a pick on me or even pretending to, but failing to do so is a huge opportunity cost. Are you ready to pay that opportunity cost? Opportunity cost = opportunity lost.
Sarasota Sailfish
GMs - @RainDelay, @Frostbite
To whom it may concern,
I really don't have to send you this, because out of all the GMs you two know me the best. But I promised to message every GM and I don't want you guys to feel left out. It is widely known that Sarasota has absolutely no quarterback going into the S22 season so that should be reason enough for you to draft me but I will continue my argument anyway. Frost, you gave me a chance when nobody else would. Sure, it may have been a "you have no choice but to give me a chance" chance, but a chance nonetheless. We have grown close together in your brief time in Myrtle Beach and you know that you will miss me. Don't leave a brother behind, don't make the same mistakes that every DSFL GM made, don't let me be someone else's chance. Keep me, take me, make me your quarterback in your new home. This is a decision that if not made will eat you up for the rest of your days and as a GM of a brand new team you don't need that kind of regret this early in your team's history. Make Mr. irrelevant relevant again!
Honolulu Hahalua
GMs @Raven, @ADwyer87
To whom it may concern,
The Hahalua are in the greatly unique position of having a GM QB (who is quite good may I add). This means that at least in the first season of your existence you will not have to send out a 300 tpe bum to start his career in the NSFL, you can draft a guy to develop into the player you want him to be, not only this but there is a good chance for you to draft older players in the expansion draft and go for that early ultimus, although as history might tell this would not be the smartest idea. All I can say is don't trade very many picks to make this dream come true. As a team in a destination location there is no reason why anyone would not want to play for you, meaning your free agency should never be a net negative. Bring me into the fold, teach me to be as good of a QB as you, build a team around me and we will bring championships and ultimuses galore to Honolulu.
Austin Copperheads
GMs @JKortesi81, @Mooty99
To whom it may concern,
You guys are pretty set on the next few seasons at QB with Cole, but that is no reason to ignore me in the draft. I have plenty of trade value and there will definitely be teams in the future needing a QB. You won't have to reach for me to get a lot of value off of me, unlike a car I do not depreciate as soon as you drive me off of the lot. No, in fact as soon as you draft me my value will only go up. The returns you can make on me will be fantastic and you already know this. There is no worst case scenario here, you have a QB for many seasons to come and I ill definitely be worth more than the pick you use to draft me. I know both of you are smart lads with good heads on your shoulders, prove it to everyone else too. Bring Sofa aboard.
Philadelphia Liberty
GMs @Hallmonitor_20, @TubbyTim69
To whom it may concern,
You already have a growing QB on a growing team, your next few seasons look to be in great growing shape. However as a team I know you ultimately have a goal of winning an ultimus, and as seen this season in the DSFL, the only teams winning championships are teams with Sofa on the roster. I didn't even have to play to bring them the good fortune, just simply have my name on the roster, attend practices and hold field goals. I know you do not wish to be cursed against winning ultimuses so you should do the thing that every DSFL GM regrets not doing, and that is to draft me. You see the power of the Sofa curse and I know you wish to harness it. After a few seasons of winning you can then trade me for a very high value to another team or even keep me yourself, but you will know that you have done a good thing for yourselves and the franchise. Do not make the same mistakes that we have seen in the DSFL, or you will live to regret it. I promise that.
New Orleans Second Line
GMs @JuOSu, @TomHanks, @IsaStarcrossed
To whom it may concern,
First of all, congatulations on the ultimus guys! Really great work! Especially you @JuOSu, I know you have wanted this for a long time and you really do deserve it for all the ahrd work you put in to every league. You are truly incredible and you deserve all the happiness it brings. It also comes as no secret that you guys will be drafting Ben Slothlisberger in the upcoming draft, and while I applaud him for likely being the first QB off of the board, I must say that if he wants to win an ultimus he knows who needs to be on the roster. His team didn't have a chance at the ultimini and he should know that the only way to make it to the ultimus would be to have me at the helm. So I implore slothlisberger to do this, in order to keep NOLA in its winning ways a good move would to be to position switch to linebacker. With the loss of Joey Slothface NOLA will truly be looking for a new linebacker to fill his shoes and honestly I must say the shoe fits here. I know this will likely not happen but you guys know deep down that I am the QB you need for continual success.
With that I conclude my messages to all of the GMs. If you have made it this far I want to make a message for all of you to read, I know that you may have some doubts about me, about my abilities. I did go 271st overall after all, but we both know that was grossly exaggerated. Let me show you the true power of the Sofa, it has already been seen this season as Myrtle Beach has won the ultimini, and it will be seen again next season as they win it back to back. Don't miss this incredible opportunity to make your franchise the ency of the league, don't miss this opportunity to draft a franchise quarterback, don't miss this opportunity of a lifetime, draft Tom Sofa. Thank you.
Since I am using the order in the "Clickable Smilies" tray I will begin with the
Chicago Butchers
GMs - @ValorX77 @`steelsound` @Jiggly_333 @MrStennett @`BayleyIsland`, @Muford
To whom it may concern,
It is no secret that Chicago has a tough road ahead, and we all know why it's so. It is of no fault of your own, you inherited a dumpster fire that any GM would never willingly accept if they weren't just a little bit crazy. I mean this as a complement, because the next few seasons will be certainly crazy for you and will require an iron resolve along with a tad bit of skillful free agent acquisition. If I fall to round 6 I implore you to draft me, I will be your best shot at a resurgence, I will be the future face of the franchise. A face that will blow away the competition, a face that will fix the image. If you don't use your 6th round on me if I am available, I will not be available. Let me help you fix the mess that many past GMs left behind.
Colorado Yeti
GMs - @Frick_Nasty, @`woelker11`
To whom it may concern,
I know that you guys have a great Quarterback of the present, but it is time to start thinking about a Quarterback of the future. The back-up you have right now will not cut it if you want an easy transition into a new championship window, dare I say he is at best a serviceable QB that you can throw away to expansion in a few seasons with no regrets. What you need is a Quarterback that you know will be a winner as soon as you call on him. That Quarterback is me. Drafting me will be the smartest move you can make as GMs this upcoming draft, and the best part is that I will cost you no higher than a 5th round pick. We all know that Chicago will be gunning for me but you have the unique opportunity of drafting 5 whole rounds before they show up to the draft. Don't make the same mistake that the DSFL GMs did, draft a true winner to be your future.
Arizona Outlaws
GMs - @Unicorn, @Drizzy
To whom it may concern,
Ok, I know you guys think you have a hot shit QB up and coming in Jay Cue, but there is major issue you guys need to look into. The man is the spitting image of NFL flame out and ultimate party boy Johnny Football. I would not expect this man to last until regression, in fact with how hard he likely parties he has probably already hit regression. Do yourselves a favor and draft me in S22 to replace him when he ultimately crashes a car killing 3 innocents in a DUI incident the night before a game. Save yourselves the future headache of having to pick up an inactive QB such as Zack Vega and have Tom Sofa warm and ready to come out of the oven. As the team with the most picks in the draft spending one before the 6th round on little 'ole me is an investment you can't afford to miss. Worst case scenario you can probably trade me to Chicago for even more picks.
Yellowknife Wraiths
GMs - @flyeaglesfly29, @shadyshoelace
To whom it may concern,
You guys may think that drafting a GM to be a QB is a good idea, but you would be sorely mistaken. QB is constantly the highest position to receive new players and all you need to do is a little bit of scout work to find the best prospect (read: me). Wasting a max earner on a slot that there are already multiple max earners for is a little bit foolish if you ask me, especially since you are being forced to use a 2nd round pick on a 6th round position. You should instead use your player to create in a position that you will take significant losses in expansion, perhaps a running back or wide receiver. If you truly knew what was good for you, you would position switch now while it is F R E E and consider using a later pick on me. Of course that would be the smart thing to do, and I know both of you are smart GMs. I expect to hear you guys calling me soon.
San Jose Sabercats
GMs - @ckroyal92, @Rradum
To whom it may concern,
Honestly I could copy and paste the exact same message I sent Yellowknife and nobody would notice or care, but since I care and I want you to care I will concoct an entire new message to get your guys attention. Yes, I know you guys think you have a settles future plan, but you really don't. A quarterback is a position that you should consider heavily going another direction in, after all why would you draft Chris Ramos last season if you never had plans of using him at QB. Put your GMs in the positions that effect win percentage that are also less popular and you will see a return to greatness not seen in a long time. There is no coincidence that Joilet Christ was not a GM create. I implore you to heavily consider using a pick on me, but only if you know what's good for you. (btw did your guys scouting report get lost in the mail?)
Orange County Otters
GMs - @`Laser`, @Revolution5
To whom it may concern,
Now is the time! Franklin Armstrong is all down hill from here! Now is the time to go out there and find some new blood to replace his old blood after 3 or 4 more seasons. You guys run easily the most well tuned franchise in sim league history and you know the importance of a clean hand off between quarterbacks. Selecting me will put you guys in great position to never miss a beat, to make all the other teams mad and to capitalize on what will become the Ultimus Wind. The cost for me is not a high one, I'm not worth a first, second or even third round, but I can be the future for you all the same. Let me help you guys continue the incredible dynasty you have built; let me help you guys make the right decision: call my name on draft day.
Baltimore Hawks
GMs - @Huskies311, @Duilio05
To whom it may concern,
Now I could go a similar route as I did with Arizona, but I will give Chika Fujiwara the benefit of the doubt, even if he sucks as a pitcher in the PBE. Instead I will appeal to your business savvy. You know it is no secret that I will be a name on many team's radar, especially after today. I implore you to look into your business side and think about this, a) do you want to hedge your bets? To draft me as an insurance policy on Fujiwara? Worst case scenario in this event is you end up with great trade bait in later seasons. Best case scenario is Fujiwara flames out and you have another instant starter at the same or even higher level than Chika. There is also option b) you feign so much interest in me that you force another team's hand. In this option you will see teams flood your inbox with trade requests for your picks and all you will find is straight money profit. There is absolutely no downside for you placing a pick on me or even pretending to, but failing to do so is a huge opportunity cost. Are you ready to pay that opportunity cost? Opportunity cost = opportunity lost.
Sarasota Sailfish
GMs - @RainDelay, @Frostbite
To whom it may concern,
I really don't have to send you this, because out of all the GMs you two know me the best. But I promised to message every GM and I don't want you guys to feel left out. It is widely known that Sarasota has absolutely no quarterback going into the S22 season so that should be reason enough for you to draft me but I will continue my argument anyway. Frost, you gave me a chance when nobody else would. Sure, it may have been a "you have no choice but to give me a chance" chance, but a chance nonetheless. We have grown close together in your brief time in Myrtle Beach and you know that you will miss me. Don't leave a brother behind, don't make the same mistakes that every DSFL GM made, don't let me be someone else's chance. Keep me, take me, make me your quarterback in your new home. This is a decision that if not made will eat you up for the rest of your days and as a GM of a brand new team you don't need that kind of regret this early in your team's history. Make Mr. irrelevant relevant again!
Honolulu Hahalua
GMs @Raven, @ADwyer87
To whom it may concern,
The Hahalua are in the greatly unique position of having a GM QB (who is quite good may I add). This means that at least in the first season of your existence you will not have to send out a 300 tpe bum to start his career in the NSFL, you can draft a guy to develop into the player you want him to be, not only this but there is a good chance for you to draft older players in the expansion draft and go for that early ultimus, although as history might tell this would not be the smartest idea. All I can say is don't trade very many picks to make this dream come true. As a team in a destination location there is no reason why anyone would not want to play for you, meaning your free agency should never be a net negative. Bring me into the fold, teach me to be as good of a QB as you, build a team around me and we will bring championships and ultimuses galore to Honolulu.
Austin Copperheads
GMs @JKortesi81, @Mooty99
To whom it may concern,
You guys are pretty set on the next few seasons at QB with Cole, but that is no reason to ignore me in the draft. I have plenty of trade value and there will definitely be teams in the future needing a QB. You won't have to reach for me to get a lot of value off of me, unlike a car I do not depreciate as soon as you drive me off of the lot. No, in fact as soon as you draft me my value will only go up. The returns you can make on me will be fantastic and you already know this. There is no worst case scenario here, you have a QB for many seasons to come and I ill definitely be worth more than the pick you use to draft me. I know both of you are smart lads with good heads on your shoulders, prove it to everyone else too. Bring Sofa aboard.
Philadelphia Liberty
GMs @Hallmonitor_20, @TubbyTim69
To whom it may concern,
You already have a growing QB on a growing team, your next few seasons look to be in great growing shape. However as a team I know you ultimately have a goal of winning an ultimus, and as seen this season in the DSFL, the only teams winning championships are teams with Sofa on the roster. I didn't even have to play to bring them the good fortune, just simply have my name on the roster, attend practices and hold field goals. I know you do not wish to be cursed against winning ultimuses so you should do the thing that every DSFL GM regrets not doing, and that is to draft me. You see the power of the Sofa curse and I know you wish to harness it. After a few seasons of winning you can then trade me for a very high value to another team or even keep me yourself, but you will know that you have done a good thing for yourselves and the franchise. Do not make the same mistakes that we have seen in the DSFL, or you will live to regret it. I promise that.
New Orleans Second Line
GMs @JuOSu, @TomHanks, @IsaStarcrossed
To whom it may concern,
First of all, congatulations on the ultimus guys! Really great work! Especially you @JuOSu, I know you have wanted this for a long time and you really do deserve it for all the ahrd work you put in to every league. You are truly incredible and you deserve all the happiness it brings. It also comes as no secret that you guys will be drafting Ben Slothlisberger in the upcoming draft, and while I applaud him for likely being the first QB off of the board, I must say that if he wants to win an ultimus he knows who needs to be on the roster. His team didn't have a chance at the ultimini and he should know that the only way to make it to the ultimus would be to have me at the helm. So I implore slothlisberger to do this, in order to keep NOLA in its winning ways a good move would to be to position switch to linebacker. With the loss of Joey Slothface NOLA will truly be looking for a new linebacker to fill his shoes and honestly I must say the shoe fits here. I know this will likely not happen but you guys know deep down that I am the QB you need for continual success.
With that I conclude my messages to all of the GMs. If you have made it this far I want to make a message for all of you to read, I know that you may have some doubts about me, about my abilities. I did go 271st overall after all, but we both know that was grossly exaggerated. Let me show you the true power of the Sofa, it has already been seen this season as Myrtle Beach has won the ultimini, and it will be seen again next season as they win it back to back. Don't miss this incredible opportunity to make your franchise the ency of the league, don't miss this opportunity to draft a franchise quarterback, don't miss this opportunity of a lifetime, draft Tom Sofa. Thank you.
Unconfident, Aug 8 2022, 04:16 AM Wrote:You’re going to be IA this time week lil bro
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