*Thorns as Sharp w/Rose Jenkins #1

[Jiggly_333]

What up, everyone? It's ya girl!



Oh right, I haven't explained what this even is yet. Hi, my name is Rose Jenkins, daughter of Leroy and Dakota, and the former QB of the Chicago Butchers.



I spent most of my career plugged up into my own bubble. I never really paid much attention to the rest of the league besides the weekly matchup strategy meetings. I didn't really see a point. And when I was traded to Sarasota in my final season, it was a massive culture shock. It's not that weird to be unfamiliar with who new teammates are personally, but when I walked into the doors that first day I knew no one there. Like, completely.

Thanks to my dad, I grew up around the original NSFL and back then I knew who EVERYONE was. And I was like, 9 or 10.

I'm kind of a disappointment now, seeing as how not only did I fail at being a memorable QB, but I also just sort of became a passenger. I wasn't active within my own life. So, in retirement, I've decided to fix that. And now I have this show.



So the goal of this series is to just cover the NSFL and DSFL as fairly as possible. It may come as a surprise to many of you, but in my one year of college I was a journalism major. I ended up completing that degree through my career. And now I get to toss around those skills.

And as a disclaimer about what "fair" is, I refer to a wonderful quote that a great mentor once told me: "The goal of journalism is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." Do no harm, take no shit. If something wrong is happening, I'll call it out and will not be afraid to do so. I've also got my own personal policy in place to not respond to any comments. Scream into the void all you want.



So first up, let's look at the DSFL.

This place has really expanded since I last checked it out. There's some new teams here. Mom would be happy about the London team. Or not depending on what side of town it's on, she's very particular. Though, I guess she did eventually forgive Aunt Alex for joining Chelsea. Not sure if the Arsenal supporters have yet...

Anyway, that's not what we're here to talk about. In a weirdly low-scoring Ultimini, the Tijuana Luchadores came out on top once again over that London team who somehow found their way into the championship with a losing record. Honestly, that's impressive. Being runner-up with a 6-8 record is probably more impressive than my dad's legendary coaching feat of going 9-5 with a negative point differential. The Chicago Blues were a weird trip, man.



But the season's over and now we're into draft territory. And when it comes to the DSFL, the next step is the Prospect Bowl. This is where all of the waiver prospects all play against each other. Reading through the names of these teams makes me yearn for the days of the Flint Sun Tropics and the Pomona Mongoose. Iowa Corn? Really? I mean, yeah. I guess you'd have a tough time coming up with anything else that's in Iowa.

In terms of the prospects there, I have my eye on a few. There's obviously the legacies: Thad Pennington Jr, Mike Boss Jr, Wyatt Fulton Jr, and Cassius Brown (son of Marquise Brown). But how about some of these new kids? Let's look at my top players in each position:

QB: Joseph Joestar - Iowa Corn - He's a gamble compared to some other QBs, but that's what the DSFL is for. You take a lot more risks because you're not looking for consistency, you're looking for a quick impact. Joestar might have that.

RB: Mai Fukushuu - Chihuahua Chihuahuas - I don't buy any of the hype that she's a literal vengeful spirit from the forests of Japan. The hype I do believe in is her speed. She's fast for an 18 year old. And she's only getting better.

WR: Cassius Brown - Chihuahua Chihuahuas - I really tried to find a different WR to talk about, but this legacy kid may be the real deal. He's pushing himself and looks to be ready to do great things. We'll see how he works in tandem with the rushing attack of the Chihuahuas in this series.

TE: Ne Mo - Chihuahua Chihuahuas - Another Chihuahua here, Mo looks like they're the only TE worth talking about in this draft, which is kind of sad. The Tight End position is fairly important. But that only means that Mo's value is greater.

OL: Fred Michell - Hampton Waterdogs - Draft-able offensive linemen are becoming more and more common and I don't know how to feel about it. This is the only non-legacy as far as I can tell.

DT: LeBong Simwell - Iowa Corn - Once again, just the one player at the position who seems like they're doing the most compared to the others.

DE: Dorothy Zbornak - Hampton Waterdogs - If I've learned one thing in life, it's not to fuck with old Polish ladies on the South Side. Wait, she's from New York, not Chicago? Fuck it, maybe she's from the south side of New York.

LB: Juan Domine - Iowa Corn - Much like Iowa's QB, he seems like someone to take a risk on in a very important position.

CB: Wyatt Fulton Jr - Hampton Waterdogs - Literally the only CB in this tournament. All other D-Backs are Safeties. Which is ironic because I think his father was a Safety. Or a Linebacker. Damn you, CTE.

S: Joel Drake - Hampton Waterdogs - This kid might be the best of the entire lot. Seriously, he's in a position of need and he's been working harder than anyone else. Might be #1 in the NSFL Draft when we get there.

K/P: Zoe Watts - Hampton Waterdogs - You can't make me talk about a kicker.

That about covers the DSFL for this week. Let's look at the NSFL now.



In NSFL news, the Colorado Yeti have finally won their first Ultimus. They were absolutely dismantled after their one good season in S1 and continually had their best players snapped away. So it's nice to see them get one for once. And it's funny to see a blown big lead when you have no emotional attachment to the game.

So then there's the NSFL Draft. Am I going to do the same exact thing that i just did and list all my favorite players?



One deep dive is enough for me and honestly, more people are covering this better than me. You don't want the dad who walked out on you 15 years ago telling you how to live your life.

But there is one last thing to talk about this week. It's not really NSFL-based, but it's still important and there's actually been some history within the NSFL. Back around S3 and S4, Haruki Ishigawa joined Colin Kaepernick in kneeling for the national anthem. His team, the Chicago Blues, issued a response in support. But that voice of support was not in full voice. It was about gang violence and only brushed on the problem that was truly at hand.

Last week, a black man's life was squeezed out of him by a cop over the course of 8 minutes. Earlier than that, cops invaded a black woman's home and shot her in her sleep. There is a serious issue with police violence and police brutality. You may not agree with statements like "All Cops Are Bastards" or "Abolish the Police", but I hope that everyone can say one thing: Black Lives Matter. Not that they matter more than anyone else, but because it seems that far too often people, especially cops, pretend that those lives don't matter at all. There needs to be accountability and there needs to be justice NOW. Justice for Philando Castile, Justice for Tamir Rice, Justice for George Floyd, Justice for Breonna Taylor, Justice for Ahmaud Arbrey, Justice for all the other countless black men and women killed by police for no good reason, and Justice for all the protestors and journalists getting tear-gassed and beaten while attempting to peacefully protest.

So to end our episode this week:
Fuck Racists
Fuck Fascists
Fuck Cops

I'll see you next week.

Code:

Only pay me for 1130 words. I didn't write that last section for the word count, I wrote it because I meant it. And to anyone else who wants to help, click on the picture in my sig and it'll link to the City of Chicago's Bail Fund. I'll also encourage you to help out your local.

Code:

EDIT: Fuck it. Every single image in this post links out to somewhere you can go to donate and help. Try to click on all of them.

[Billybolo53]

[Yeenoghu]

Thanks for the shout out! I'm not looking forward to keeping up with Mai on Monday.

[abh89]

I'll be using this post as motivation. Thanks.

[TheManWhoSoldTheWorld]

Jiggly stan