07-06-2020, 11:01 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-06-2020, 11:04 AM by HalfEatenOnionBagel.)
A usually sleepy suburb of Chicago was anything but this Fourth of July weekend as multiple players of the Chicago Butchers were part of an incident that included public intoxication, destruction of property and attempted arson. The day was supposed to be a typical holiday cookout at the home of Chicago Butchers safety Eric Richards who had opened his home to members of the team and organization. An anonymous member of the coaching staff recounted for us the events of the day that led up to the ensuing chaos:
"The day started off perfectly, it was an absolutely gorgeous day, perfect for a cookout. Eric had invited everyone and their families over for a nice cookout. Wonderful guy and their family has a lot to celebrate with him joining the NSFL and their family starting to grow. Wonderful family, wonderful home, it was shaping up to be a really good time. Even Tree was there carrying that silly axe around. She had gotten ketchup all over herself before she even showed up, what a goofball. Anyways, it was about an hour after most people had gotten there that HE showed up. Look I don't have a lot of leverage in the organization, especially when it comes to personnel, and I know he was drafted by the previous regime so I wouldn't have been able to sway anyone from drafting him but we should have traded Osiris [Firestorm-Fjord] when we had the chance. The guy is a headache and a bad influence, don't let anyone else tell you. Is he a good football player? Sure. Can we find someone just as good who isn't a head case? Absolutely. Somehow he's pulled the wool over everyone's eyes around here, I don't get it.
But I digress. Osiris shows up, he's hauling about five cases of High Noon hard seltzer, which he won't shut up talking about. Seriously every practice he's asking people 'hey bro you try this shit yet, so good'. Anyways he's got that and like three packs of his special hot dogs. Yeah he makes his own hot dogs and they're garbage. Like literally takes taco bell meat and puts it in his own casings. Dude is actually from Texas and says that it's 'tex mex' but come on it's nasty. Well anyways he came in, didn't make a scene or anything, seemed totally fine and very courteous from what I remember. About 15 minutes later Von Hayes rolls up. He's got a huge box with him, I didn't think much of it at the time. He puts the box down next to a table and makes his way over to Osiris who appears to have had about three of those seltzers in the fifteen minutes he's been there. After chatting for a few minutes he basically just hands a whole case to Von and the two of them are just chuckling it up like a couple of chucklefu….chuckleheads. Sorry, getting a little carried away again there.
Anyways yeah that's the last I remember about them for a while. Osiris did offer me one of those damn hot dogs multiple times and he seemed pretty toasted by then but he was doing that to everyone. Other than that things were pretty enjoyable. I really enjoyed getting to interact with all the new rookies on the team, especially. We have a section of the coaching staff specifically dedicated to working on rookie development and integration, so I don't get to work with them as much as I would like. But especially Richards and McCringleberry are just great guys to talk to and it was wonderful to meet the Richards family. These are some really solid guys that I'm hoping will be an important part of the organization for a while.
Now it was about this time when the disaster began. I was talking to Eric and Von brings that big box over and shows us it's a bunch of fireworks. I don't even know if you're allowed to shoot off fireworks but Eric was not about to let him do it in his yard at his new home. Told him to take them over to the cul-de-sac down the street where other people would probably be shooting them off anyways. So Von stumbled off, muttering something about being the liquor. He went over to Osiris and the two of them both headed off to shoot those fireworks off. Typical. You expect a lot of these people to act like adults but there's always some that just don't grow up.
That was the last I saw of them before the incident. We could hear fireworks going off, but they had been going off for a while. About 15 minutes later though we were hearing yelling and the sound of sirens approaching. Those dumbasses."
Other statements from members of the team at the party confirm this one but nobody followed the two players after they departed. However reports put together from information provided by neighbors puts the pieces together of what happened next.
Osiris Firestorm-Fjord and Von Hayes did arrive at the cul-de-sac that Eric Richards informed them of with the box of fireworks and still drinking. For a short time the two of them were just setting off fireworks and laughing obnoxiously which drew the attention of some neighbors, enough to see what happened next. By all accounts, things started to go haywire when the following vehicle arrived in the cul-de-sac:
Yes, that's right a Taco Bell delivery vehicle seems to have been a catalyst for the ensuing mayhem. It's still unclear exactly what happened but it is believed that Hayes and Firestorm-Fjord mistook the logo on the car to be the Philadelphia Liberty logo. Luckily the driver had already left the car and taken food around back of the house. The two started firing bottle rockets at the car shouting "Fuck Philly, Fuck Philly." Being intoxicated, however, none of their rockets actually hit their intended target, instead setting fire to multiple trees, taking out a mailbox and starting a small fire in nearby car that's windows were left open.
At this point, multiple neighbors reported contacting the authorities to come handle the two drunk men. However nobody was able to stop Von Hayes from his next violent outburst.
Below is cell phone footage captured by one of the bystanders of Von Hayes attacking the Taco Bell vehicle. Viewer discretion is advised as the video contains explicit language.
[iframe width=\\\"560\\\" height=\\\"315\\\" src=\\\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/I0kfe5tkdD4\\\" frameborder=\\\"0\\\" allowfullscreen][/iframe]
We apologize for the poor quality of the footage that makes it difficult to tell that the person in the video is actually Von Hayes and that the vehicle being attacked is the Taco Bell vehicle but the video captures the violent display quite clearly. Additionally, it was later clarified that what Von Hayes was shouting was, "Do you see what happens Philly when you fuck a Butcher in the ass?". An absolutely dreadful outburst.
When police arrived on the scene a short time later, Osiris Firestorm-Fjord was still in the cul-de-sac launching fireworks at the ole of scrap that was left of the car. Von Hayes was found in the backyard of the home attempting to set fire to the shed, holding a box of matches and a jug of Koolaid he obstensibly believed to be gasoline in his drunken stupor.
The two were taken into custody in front of the entire team that was now watching from the front yard of the Richards' residence. Fortunately nobody was injured. At this time it is unclear what will happen to the two but they are expected to be released in time for the next Butchers game. Whether or not they will be suspended for that game or more is still unknown. At this time the Chicago Butchers organization nor the National Simulation Football League have made any statements on the incident. It is believed that at a minimum both Firestorm-Fjord and Hayes will be receiving significant fines and mandatory community service. A truly disappointing moment for a team that's been trying to rebuild its status and image in the league, on a day in which there was a lot to celebrate.
If you're out celebrating this Holiday or are on vacation this week, please be responsible in how you celebrate. Live mas, but not too mas.
"The day started off perfectly, it was an absolutely gorgeous day, perfect for a cookout. Eric had invited everyone and their families over for a nice cookout. Wonderful guy and their family has a lot to celebrate with him joining the NSFL and their family starting to grow. Wonderful family, wonderful home, it was shaping up to be a really good time. Even Tree was there carrying that silly axe around. She had gotten ketchup all over herself before she even showed up, what a goofball. Anyways, it was about an hour after most people had gotten there that HE showed up. Look I don't have a lot of leverage in the organization, especially when it comes to personnel, and I know he was drafted by the previous regime so I wouldn't have been able to sway anyone from drafting him but we should have traded Osiris [Firestorm-Fjord] when we had the chance. The guy is a headache and a bad influence, don't let anyone else tell you. Is he a good football player? Sure. Can we find someone just as good who isn't a head case? Absolutely. Somehow he's pulled the wool over everyone's eyes around here, I don't get it.
But I digress. Osiris shows up, he's hauling about five cases of High Noon hard seltzer, which he won't shut up talking about. Seriously every practice he's asking people 'hey bro you try this shit yet, so good'. Anyways he's got that and like three packs of his special hot dogs. Yeah he makes his own hot dogs and they're garbage. Like literally takes taco bell meat and puts it in his own casings. Dude is actually from Texas and says that it's 'tex mex' but come on it's nasty. Well anyways he came in, didn't make a scene or anything, seemed totally fine and very courteous from what I remember. About 15 minutes later Von Hayes rolls up. He's got a huge box with him, I didn't think much of it at the time. He puts the box down next to a table and makes his way over to Osiris who appears to have had about three of those seltzers in the fifteen minutes he's been there. After chatting for a few minutes he basically just hands a whole case to Von and the two of them are just chuckling it up like a couple of chucklefu….chuckleheads. Sorry, getting a little carried away again there.
Anyways yeah that's the last I remember about them for a while. Osiris did offer me one of those damn hot dogs multiple times and he seemed pretty toasted by then but he was doing that to everyone. Other than that things were pretty enjoyable. I really enjoyed getting to interact with all the new rookies on the team, especially. We have a section of the coaching staff specifically dedicated to working on rookie development and integration, so I don't get to work with them as much as I would like. But especially Richards and McCringleberry are just great guys to talk to and it was wonderful to meet the Richards family. These are some really solid guys that I'm hoping will be an important part of the organization for a while.
Now it was about this time when the disaster began. I was talking to Eric and Von brings that big box over and shows us it's a bunch of fireworks. I don't even know if you're allowed to shoot off fireworks but Eric was not about to let him do it in his yard at his new home. Told him to take them over to the cul-de-sac down the street where other people would probably be shooting them off anyways. So Von stumbled off, muttering something about being the liquor. He went over to Osiris and the two of them both headed off to shoot those fireworks off. Typical. You expect a lot of these people to act like adults but there's always some that just don't grow up.
That was the last I saw of them before the incident. We could hear fireworks going off, but they had been going off for a while. About 15 minutes later though we were hearing yelling and the sound of sirens approaching. Those dumbasses."
Other statements from members of the team at the party confirm this one but nobody followed the two players after they departed. However reports put together from information provided by neighbors puts the pieces together of what happened next.
Osiris Firestorm-Fjord and Von Hayes did arrive at the cul-de-sac that Eric Richards informed them of with the box of fireworks and still drinking. For a short time the two of them were just setting off fireworks and laughing obnoxiously which drew the attention of some neighbors, enough to see what happened next. By all accounts, things started to go haywire when the following vehicle arrived in the cul-de-sac:
Yes, that's right a Taco Bell delivery vehicle seems to have been a catalyst for the ensuing mayhem. It's still unclear exactly what happened but it is believed that Hayes and Firestorm-Fjord mistook the logo on the car to be the Philadelphia Liberty logo. Luckily the driver had already left the car and taken food around back of the house. The two started firing bottle rockets at the car shouting "Fuck Philly, Fuck Philly." Being intoxicated, however, none of their rockets actually hit their intended target, instead setting fire to multiple trees, taking out a mailbox and starting a small fire in nearby car that's windows were left open.
At this point, multiple neighbors reported contacting the authorities to come handle the two drunk men. However nobody was able to stop Von Hayes from his next violent outburst.
Below is cell phone footage captured by one of the bystanders of Von Hayes attacking the Taco Bell vehicle. Viewer discretion is advised as the video contains explicit language.
[iframe width=\\\"560\\\" height=\\\"315\\\" src=\\\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/I0kfe5tkdD4\\\" frameborder=\\\"0\\\" allowfullscreen][/iframe]
We apologize for the poor quality of the footage that makes it difficult to tell that the person in the video is actually Von Hayes and that the vehicle being attacked is the Taco Bell vehicle but the video captures the violent display quite clearly. Additionally, it was later clarified that what Von Hayes was shouting was, "Do you see what happens Philly when you fuck a Butcher in the ass?". An absolutely dreadful outburst.
When police arrived on the scene a short time later, Osiris Firestorm-Fjord was still in the cul-de-sac launching fireworks at the ole of scrap that was left of the car. Von Hayes was found in the backyard of the home attempting to set fire to the shed, holding a box of matches and a jug of Koolaid he obstensibly believed to be gasoline in his drunken stupor.
The two were taken into custody in front of the entire team that was now watching from the front yard of the Richards' residence. Fortunately nobody was injured. At this time it is unclear what will happen to the two but they are expected to be released in time for the next Butchers game. Whether or not they will be suspended for that game or more is still unknown. At this time the Chicago Butchers organization nor the National Simulation Football League have made any statements on the incident. It is believed that at a minimum both Firestorm-Fjord and Hayes will be receiving significant fines and mandatory community service. A truly disappointing moment for a team that's been trying to rebuild its status and image in the league, on a day in which there was a lot to celebrate.
If you're out celebrating this Holiday or are on vacation this week, please be responsible in how you celebrate. Live mas, but not too mas.
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Regular Season Stats
[OPTION](S2) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S3) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S4) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S5) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S6) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S7) 14 Games Played
[OPTION](S8) 14 Games Played
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Playoff Stats
[OPTION] 27839
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]Most Likely to Break the Team Bench When Sitting Down
[OPTION]Pumpkin Chuckin' Rally 2017 Semifinalist
[OPTION]Most Likely to Get Traded in S8 (T-1st)
[OPTION]Ultimus Champion S7, S8