*Goat Tank Presser

[Eldorian]

Code:

Ready to be graded - 1872 words

Goat Tank with the season over has been asked to speak to the media about his thoughts on this past season and the upcoming draft, and basically anything else that comes to mind. Being that people are used to his twitter sheningans and the twitter board coming down on him recently on his branding - he's needing to find a new way to gain some money to make up for what he lost out on Twitter.

Question 1: GOAT TANK? - @scorycory

GOAT TANK. Part Goat? Nah, just my first name. Part Tank? All Tank.

Greatest of All Tanks.... Tank.

My dad didn't think this name through all the way! Ok? Just be happy he didn't name me after him. Otherwise I'd be Richard Tank, Jr.

Question 2: Who do you look forward to tackling the most in S25? - @UberBJ

Every single quarterback in the league. Multiple times.

Maybe even my own. I haven't decided yet on that one.

For real though, my dream would have been to get some sacks on Franklin Armstrong who is currently considered the GOAT himself. But he saw me coming here soon and he jumped his old ass out of the league. It's really hard for me to say right now since I don't really know what team I'll be on next season.

Question 3: What do you think about the ISFL draft process? - @rapideagle

Unfortunately even though the Bucs had the better record, we had to stay at home during the playoffs and watch the inferior team over in Portland make a mockery of the system. So having a longer offseason gave me a lot of time to reflect and just get straight up annoyed by the scouts. They would constantly ask me the same questions over and over again and I found it to be rather monotonous.

Now with that said, there were a few scouts who were cool and we had some legit good conversations with. There were other teams who just didn't even bother talking to me. With that said, the draft process seems fine - it's just a pretty long wait and you have very very little time if you know you might be called up on the team to make sure you are ready for the preseason. That might be the only part I don't like. If I get drafted tomorrow, I have basically hours then to find out if I'm going to be called up to the team and make sure I'm ready to play. I feel like they should swap the days when the draft and when the awards happen so draftees like me have a little more time to prepare to the adjustment needed going from the DSFL to the ISFL.

Question 4: How do you feel you will stack up vs. the rest of the S25 class? - @rapideagle

This is tough because I feel like this season 25 class is pretty damn strong. I have teammates from season 25 that I feel are legit first rounders and top first rounders at that. I feel like I kind of get put in the spotlight a bit because of my name and the branding we were able to get around it but that also means I feel like I have to work at it harder than everyone else to prove myself.

I think my stats end up speaking for itself though. There wasn't another defensive tackle even close to me in the league last season. That wasn't by accident. Sure people will point to tackles for loss as being a big stat, but that is completely BS in my opinion as a defensive tackle. Unless a running back is running straight up the middle, and why the hell would they when facing me, then I'm very likely not going to get some tackles for losses the way that a defensive end is able to. The fact that I more than tripled the next defensive tackle in sacks should say something. The fact that I forced at least 3 turnovers myself and recovered a few more should say something. I even put up some points with a safety.

When I was nominated for Defensive Player of the Year - I feel like I was slightly disrespected when they pointed to others saying they had defensive touchdowns and that's why they should win. I had 2 forced fumbles within the 5 yard line which resulted in touchdowns, just because I didn't cross the endzone myself means I'm not in the conversation? I bet those lousy analysts wouldn't tell me that to my face.

I easily won Defensive Tackle of the Year and barely squeaked by on Defensive Rookie of the Year. I feel like I deserved all 3 to be honest.

So yeah, there are a lot of really fantastic players in this class, several who might even have hall of fame potential. But how do they stack up against the Goat Tank? Not even close. Better question is to ask them how the stack up against me.

Question 5: You're a consensus top 5 pick in tomorrow's draft. What other players that aren't getting the attention that you are do you think deserve to be discussed by the league as a whole? - @"Punter715"

I'll be honest, I'm not even sure I am a consensus top 5. I'll be pretty surprised if I go in the top 5 as I feel like a lot of folks have increased their stock in some areas and are being taken because they might be a good fit in the locker room, but whatever.

I'm going to talk about some of my teammates first though.

Holloway is going to be an absolute steal because idiot GMs don't seem to like his demands if he gets selected. Dude was a complete beast and probably would have been an MVP candidate if he could figure out what position he wanted to play. He's for sure a future hall of fame player that is sadly going to probably go somewhere in the 3rd round just because GMs want to stick it to him.

Daytona might be the future QB GOAT. Once we went to 1 QB and Daytona took the job, he could have very well have won the MVP this year. Unfortunately since he's a QB and will be down in the DSFL for much longer, he won't go in any of the early rounds but he's going to have a lot of MVP and Ultimus trophies by the end of his career.

Teddy is one of the best safeties you're going to find in this draft. Dude is an absolute beast.

Winchester should be a top 5 pick IMO at linebacker - both Teddy and Winchester got absolutely robbed in the awards.

Beyond our team alone you have Stallworth who as an offensive lineman was up for Offensive Player of the Year. Dude was serving up pancakes left and right all season long and I think I was only 1 of 2 players that managed to get past him for a sack. That was also the weird game where I got a pass interference call on me whatever the heck that was all about.

Of course you got Rogers over in Norfolk and Mills over in Tijuana that won't be taken high because they're running backs, but whatever team gets them is going to be extremely happy they do.

And while lots of people are picking Guy Fields as a top 5 pick, you can't sleep on Gleel over in Minnesota. I'd argue Gleel had the better season.

But my sleeper pick as to go to Goodman out of KC. Anyone that drafts me, please go draft him. We need him for his gif and meme game alone.

Question 6: Does pineapple belong on a pizza? - @Crodyman

I don't think there's any rule on what can go on a pizza and what can't go on a pizza. After all, once people putting things like sardines on pizza, I think all bets were off at that point.

I will say though that I won't turn down a decent slice of Hawaiian pizza if it's offered to me. It's good. I wouldn't personally seek it out or order it myself because I feel like there's much better alternatives out there but I don't see anything wrong with it.

Question 7: If you were given an expansion team, what would you call it, what colour/design would you use, what would your team building philosophy be? - @Mooty99

First of all, I'm definitely not in the business of wanting to manage a team. However, how could one not have a team called "The Goats"? I dunno where you would locate it, and honestly it doesn't matter to me. You can be the Des Moines Goats, the Denver Goats, the Brazil Goats, or the Beijing Goats - it doesn't really matter, just as long as they are the Goats, founded by Goat Tank.

As for colors, I feel like there are way too many red and blue colors in the ISFL right now. I would probably side with something like gold/yellow and Green (think Oakland A's) or even something more Purple and Orange (Phoenix Suns). I think Green and gold/yellow would probably end up working best with a Goat theme though. Although who am I kidding, the logo obviously needs to be a tank even though the nickname is The Goats. Green and Gold works for tanks though, right?

As for how I would build the team - I would simply just pick all the best players and tell them to win. More GMs should do that.

Question 8: What do you want in an ISFL team? What do you want the ISFL team to want? - @Nhamlet

I want a team that is committed to winning and also committed to letting me be the best I can be at the position I am playing in. I want a team that supports my goals individually while also aiming for an overall goal of winning a championship every season. Any season we don't win a championship should be seen as a failure.

I want a team with good leadership and not just letting a bunch of folks in who don't take it seriously. At the same time I believe strongly in the work hard and play hard philosophy - the team needs to also have fun. There are some organizations who stray too far one way or the other there. Some take things too seriously and don't allow the fun - others are all about the fun and don't take things seriously. I would not fit into either of those organizations. I like a good time, but I'm not going to be an immature butt out there like I've seen some folks do, and nor do I condone such behavior.

I want a team that knows how to respect each other while also respecting those outside.

Most importantly though, just win.

======================

Alright, I think that is all of the questions that I can see. Yep, definitely no more questions as I look through this several times to make sure I didn't miss anything. I do not see a single question I missed anywhere.

Thanks everyone for the questions!

[scorycory]

GOAT TANK?

[UberBJ]

Who do you look forward to tackling the most in S25?

[rapideagle]

GOAT TANK?

Fuck Cory stole my question...uhhhh

1. What do you think about the ISFL draft process

2. How do you feel you will stack up vs the rest of the S25 class

[Pat]

You're a consensus top 5 pick in tomorrow's draft. What other players that aren't getting the attention that you are do you think deserve to be discussed by the league as a whole?

[Crodyman]

Henlo, Mr. Tank, big fan here. Just wanted to know the answer to the question that is burning on everyone's lips:

Does pineapple belong on a pizza?

[Mooty99]

If you were given an expansion team, what would you call it, what colour/design would you use, what would your team building philosophy be?

[Pat]

But my sleeper pick as to go to Goodman out of KC. Anyone that drafts me, please go draft him. We need him for his gif and meme game alone.

This just in, @Eldorian and @"ShnarlyDude" fined for tampering. SMH.

[zaynzk]

Do you find your mother attractive?

[Nhamlet]

What do you want in an ISFL team? What do you want the ISFL team to want?