*An Introduction to the Busch Goose

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An Introduction to the Busch Goose

After years of terrorizing the students of Busch Campus in Rutgers University, the Deans of the College of Engineering, School of Arts and Sciences, the President of the University, the head football coach, and Colonel Henry Rutgers himself came up with the idea of the century - they put the fearless one himself on to the football field. Finally, the students of Rutgers could use the Busch Goose's aggression, fearlessness, and poop for good.

Before his time on the football field, the Busch Goose was widely regarded as the true ruler of Busch Campus, just like Lord Snipp reigned over College Avenue and the Livingston Coyote ruled Livingston. Sure, he had his rivalries with the great double B bus, but no being clamped down the students of Busch quite like the Busch Goose. The Busch Goose was truly a force to be reckoned with - at some times he would chase lonely engineering students from the old rusty Engineering Building all the way to ARC, while other times announcing new royal decrees from the roof of the Busch Campus Center for all to hear. Many classes paid tribute to the immortal goose, with the Class of 2010 cancelling the construction of a football parking lot over his favorite pooping grounds, the Class of 2032 building a giant goose statue for him to perch on, and the Class of 1968 sacrificing draft cards to the Goose.

The only thing the Busch Goose feared, of course, were dogs. And so, when famed Rutgers alumnus Wolfie McDummy approached the Busch Goose about his NCAA eligibility, he listened. The Busch Goose, ever so wise, understood his powers could be used for the good of the school and campus he ruled over, and as a result declared himself for the Rutgers football team in exchange for the school allowing his flock to continue enforcing his reign on campus. While he had to redshirt his freshman season in order to learn the playbook (and learn that flying with the football is illegal), the coaching staff realized they could best utilize the Busch Goose as a running back that no opponent wished to tackle. With a quick honk or hiss the Busch Goose's intimidation scared away many a linebacker, while those who did dare to tackle him were unpleasantly surprised with goose poop on their jerseys. After two seasons averaging 7 yards per carry, a Heisman Trophy snub (while it doesn't say a goose can't win the Heisman, many voters were unconvinced), and record breaking scoring, the Busch Goose declared himself eligible for the ISFL and the DSFL draft.

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The following are a list of the Busch Goose's demands at the ISFL and DSFL level. He does not have a ton of patience for scouting, so he will very quickly refer you to this list.

1. The Busch Goose does not care for the DSFL. As a result, he would like to be called up as soon as he is drafted into the ISFL. (While he is perfectly happy to play for Minnesota in the DSFL, he refuses to change his name to the "Busch Grey Duck", as that is not his royal title. He is also willing to put aside the crimes against goose-kind by the Birddogs should they pledge to never hunt his flock.)

2. As part of his lack of caring for the DSFL, the Busch Goose will be perfectly happy to ride the bench and not play. There are a lot of royal duties to take care of on Busch Campus, and a season spent back at home would allow him to take care of some logistics before his ISFL career.

3. The Busch Goose will not switch positions. While he is extremely intelligent, he is also impatient, and so does not want to learn the ins and outs of another position. Under ABSOLUTELY NO CIRCUMSTANCES will the Busch Goose switch to quarterback. If you even ask him if he is open to switching to QB, the Busch Goose will refuse to play for you.

4. Because he is royalty, the Busch Goose's coffers are extremely full and so he will not be chasing big money contracts. However, the Busch Goose is a migratory being, and so will only sign 1 year contracts. This does not mean he will leave your team after one season, however.

5. The Busch Goose is willing to play for just about any ISFL team, given a few caveats. While he has a good rapport with former Yeti quarterback Wolfie McDummy, he by no means will try to force his way to the team - so to all other teams, please do scout him!

6. The Busch Goose does not like anime. If your team locker room has a lot of anime, he won't be there for very long.

7. The Busch Goose does not tolerate toxic and controversial players. If you think you have one of those, you should probably be aware of this demand.

8. The Busch Goose would like to chase records if possible. With most teams sporting two running backs, this should be an achievable goal, but would mean that he wants a starting spot as soon as possible.

9. In free agency, the Busch Goose will value (i) the team's culture, (ii) the chance for an Ultimus title, (iii) the possibility for good stats, and (iv) the front office's competency.

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Out of character here for a bit. I hope these demands don't scare you off, and I'm curious to see how Busch Goose stacks up against what might be a Reddit class. That being said, I've never been a first round ISFL pick, and so that would be pretty freaking cool. While I've only ever been a Yeti, I'm definitely interested to see how other LR's are and will not force my way back to Colorado (though I know they're very interested in drafting me). I've also never been a real free agent, and so that's something I'm very interested in experiencing. Treat me well, have a good team with potential to win a title, and a good and competent culture/management and I may stick around.

Busch Goose out.

[woelkers]

Treat me well, have a good team with potential to win a title, and a good and competent culture/management and I may stick around.

Well h*ck.

[TeyonSchavari]

See Busch. Don't see any mention of beer or Busch Light. Much disappointment

[Blasoon]

Wanna play qb, kid?

[Swanty]

Busch Light is gonna sue

[infinitempg]

Well h*ck.

rekt

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See Busch. Don't see any mention of beer or Busch Light. Much disappointment

Busch Light is gonna sue

The campus is named after Charles L. Busch (1902–1971), of Edgewater, New Jersey, an eccentric millionaire, who unexpectedly donated $10 million to the University for biological research at his death in 1971.

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Wanna play qb, kid?

*blocked*

[ReverendOReily]

smh this guy thinks he can put in 0 work at the developmental level and still be a first round pick in the ISFL? yeah right get real

for real tho I'm excited that you're recreating, and especially excited to have more animal renders in the league <3

[OrbitingDeath]

I know a goose usually shows no mercy. I like you already. Good luck in your career.

[PMoney]

HONK

[katarn22]

I love this so so so much.