Leo Bloomfield enters the room. He is wearing a bespoke $1200 dollar suit, which is embroidered with the Buccaneers logo and the captain's C. He waves to a very particular female reporter as he sits down.
"Ok guys, ask me anything you want. I literally have all day"
Q: What's your favourite archer character and why is it Cheryl?
A: Oh man, Cheryl. She's a great character, and my first cartoon crush. I especially enjoyed it when she became a country singer.
Q: After a big gameday, what drink does such a fine gentlemen refresh is thirst with?
A: I basically just mix Cream Soda and Bourbon together. I know it sounds borderline nauseating, but I can assure you that it's the best thing since sliced bread. I usually drink it after every quarter, not after the game. Does that make me a high-functioning alcoholic? Probably, yes.
Q: For those aspiring to look the part, what brand is that suit and can you talk about the shoes you are wearing to compliment such a dapper look?
A: If one would like to go the extra mile in regard to clothing, I would recommend an English suit with Italian shoes. But if time and money is lacking in your life, just get it from Matalan, like I did with these shoes.
Q: How do you maintain such an astute moral compass on the field in what can be an extremely heated and stressful environment?
A: If I want to be completely honest, which I am, I would say that I contribute far more to the heated environment than anyone else. Everytime I'm on the field I'm angry or drunk. The time between the snap and the kick is less than a second. Just imagine that, but the single second is actually 10 and an instrumental version of Paint it Black is playing in your ear. Literally no one could stay calm in that situation, especially when pumped up on soda and whisky.
Q: Finally, one last question I ask you to indulge me in, what is the best story of "phrasing" in this league you have ever witnessed?
A: Now this is a fun one. I was doing a pre-game interview, when a particularly pumped up member of the opposition was running around screaming "Come on me!". Now, instead of hearing "come on, me", I heard "cum on me". I turned back and yelled "hey phrasing", before high fiving the guy interviewing me. Best part was, that the entire thing was caught on mic and on live TV.
"Ok guys, ask me anything you want. I literally have all day"
Q: What's your favourite archer character and why is it Cheryl?
A: Oh man, Cheryl. She's a great character, and my first cartoon crush. I especially enjoyed it when she became a country singer.
Q: After a big gameday, what drink does such a fine gentlemen refresh is thirst with?
A: I basically just mix Cream Soda and Bourbon together. I know it sounds borderline nauseating, but I can assure you that it's the best thing since sliced bread. I usually drink it after every quarter, not after the game. Does that make me a high-functioning alcoholic? Probably, yes.
Q: For those aspiring to look the part, what brand is that suit and can you talk about the shoes you are wearing to compliment such a dapper look?
A: If one would like to go the extra mile in regard to clothing, I would recommend an English suit with Italian shoes. But if time and money is lacking in your life, just get it from Matalan, like I did with these shoes.
Q: How do you maintain such an astute moral compass on the field in what can be an extremely heated and stressful environment?
A: If I want to be completely honest, which I am, I would say that I contribute far more to the heated environment than anyone else. Everytime I'm on the field I'm angry or drunk. The time between the snap and the kick is less than a second. Just imagine that, but the single second is actually 10 and an instrumental version of Paint it Black is playing in your ear. Literally no one could stay calm in that situation, especially when pumped up on soda and whisky.
Q: Finally, one last question I ask you to indulge me in, what is the best story of "phrasing" in this league you have ever witnessed?
A: Now this is a fun one. I was doing a pre-game interview, when a particularly pumped up member of the opposition was running around screaming "Come on me!". Now, instead of hearing "come on, me", I heard "cum on me". I turned back and yelled "hey phrasing", before high fiving the guy interviewing me. Best part was, that the entire thing was caught on mic and on live TV.