So some of you may have read a piece I posted a little while back about JKortesi (aka JoeK) being cool. Well, I'm writing this here today to officially take back that media piece and declare the JKortesi is totally uncool. Why Is JKortesi all of a sudden so uncool? Well theres a few reasons.
-He actually followed a rule once
I wrote a media piece a few minutes ago that was submitted about 3 hours after the deadline for double media. I'd like to say that we were only given like a week or two for double media. It takes at least that amount of time for me to get my creative juices flowing. This short amount of time is completely unacceptable. 1000 words is a lot more than 10 words and therefore takes a lot longer to write out thoughtfully. I wrote a nice big article and finished slightly after this deadline. Did I expect double pay? No. Did I think I would get it if I asked? No. Would I have asked if someone else suggested I ask? No. Did JKortesi give me double pay when I asked? No. Is JKortesi cool? No. Another thing that kind of ties on with this is how come we've never gotten 3x media? I completely blame JoeK for this, how dare he not ruining the economy by paying millions to low effort media pieces done in haste during some random one week period that he chooses.
-His name is Joe
Joe is actually such a boring name, like what are you bruh coffee? Joe is such a common name and many other people have the name Joe. This clearly means that JoeK is boring and unoriginal, like many other Joes out there. You may be wondering, but Joe, your name is Joe, how could you insult all the other Joes out there in Joekind? The answer is that my name isn't actually Joe, it's Joseph, a much cooler, more original name than the boring plain old Joe. Even if Joe was a cool name, I'd petition JoeK to change it because of how uncool he is
-idk he's kind of cool I'm just ranting
This reason that JoeK is uncool is so clearly obvious that it isn't even a reason. I'm basically just making the grader, JoeK, read even more words. this is annoying, which is fine because he isn't cool, and I'm getting more money for it. If you happen to be Mojo or Madden and are grading this, please immediately stop reading and tell JoeK to grade this instead.
-His players aren't even good
JKortesi's first player, Carlito Crush, was one of the worst players to play in the league at the time of his creation. At one point, he only had 50 TPE applied, that's less than 100! Carlito Crush won an Ultimini Championship in season 4, which wasn't even the first Ultimini it was the second, and only won two Ultimus games, in seasons 12 and 13. He also only has one single season record, Touchdowns receptions, with 17 set in 2024 with the Orange County Otters. SMH the team probably carried him. Wide Receiver sin't even that cool of a position. Running back is where it's at. There's not only this, but Carlito Crush was also inducted into the ISFL Hall of Fame. You may think that makes him cool, but he wasn't even unanimous, only 14 out of 15. And don't even get me started on his current player, Easton Cole. A quaterback? What a stereotypical football position. Branch out, be a lineman or something smh. Easton Cole isn't even in the Hall of Fame, he's clearly bad. And only two Ultimus wins? Wherever he was drafted, it was too high. You'd think he'd learn from his previous experiences having a player at wide receiver and actually have a good second player.
-He actually followed a rule once
I wrote a media piece a few minutes ago that was submitted about 3 hours after the deadline for double media. I'd like to say that we were only given like a week or two for double media. It takes at least that amount of time for me to get my creative juices flowing. This short amount of time is completely unacceptable. 1000 words is a lot more than 10 words and therefore takes a lot longer to write out thoughtfully. I wrote a nice big article and finished slightly after this deadline. Did I expect double pay? No. Did I think I would get it if I asked? No. Would I have asked if someone else suggested I ask? No. Did JKortesi give me double pay when I asked? No. Is JKortesi cool? No. Another thing that kind of ties on with this is how come we've never gotten 3x media? I completely blame JoeK for this, how dare he not ruining the economy by paying millions to low effort media pieces done in haste during some random one week period that he chooses.
-His name is Joe
Joe is actually such a boring name, like what are you bruh coffee? Joe is such a common name and many other people have the name Joe. This clearly means that JoeK is boring and unoriginal, like many other Joes out there. You may be wondering, but Joe, your name is Joe, how could you insult all the other Joes out there in Joekind? The answer is that my name isn't actually Joe, it's Joseph, a much cooler, more original name than the boring plain old Joe. Even if Joe was a cool name, I'd petition JoeK to change it because of how uncool he is
-idk he's kind of cool I'm just ranting
This reason that JoeK is uncool is so clearly obvious that it isn't even a reason. I'm basically just making the grader, JoeK, read even more words. this is annoying, which is fine because he isn't cool, and I'm getting more money for it. If you happen to be Mojo or Madden and are grading this, please immediately stop reading and tell JoeK to grade this instead.
-His players aren't even good
JKortesi's first player, Carlito Crush, was one of the worst players to play in the league at the time of his creation. At one point, he only had 50 TPE applied, that's less than 100! Carlito Crush won an Ultimini Championship in season 4, which wasn't even the first Ultimini it was the second, and only won two Ultimus games, in seasons 12 and 13. He also only has one single season record, Touchdowns receptions, with 17 set in 2024 with the Orange County Otters. SMH the team probably carried him. Wide Receiver sin't even that cool of a position. Running back is where it's at. There's not only this, but Carlito Crush was also inducted into the ISFL Hall of Fame. You may think that makes him cool, but he wasn't even unanimous, only 14 out of 15. And don't even get me started on his current player, Easton Cole. A quaterback? What a stereotypical football position. Branch out, be a lineman or something smh. Easton Cole isn't even in the Hall of Fame, he's clearly bad. And only two Ultimus wins? Wherever he was drafted, it was too high. You'd think he'd learn from his previous experiences having a player at wide receiver and actually have a good second player.
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gib tpe
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