01-08-2021, 10:40 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-14-2021, 04:57 AM by Asked Madden.)
Chunt’s up baby!
It’s your favorite badger speaking here. I understand from my last point task there was some confusion as to how a badger could play football, so I want to take the time to explain. First of all, I am more than just a badger - I am a shapeshifter currently in badger form. In Foon, the realm I’m from, shapeshifters are able to shift into a new form by sleeping with someone. That night, whatever creature we slept with, we turn into that form. Throughout my life I have been a pony, a grasshopper, eagle, and wizard. The possibilities are endless. Now that you understand how I shift, it’ll give you more context as to how frustrating my current challenge is.
Last night I realized if I wanted to be respected in this league I need to shift into a human form. Naturally, my solution was to sleep with the best sim tester within this league so I could absorb his human form to dominate: iStegosauruz, full stop. Much to my effort, Steg was not willing to do so. Let me walk you through last nights event to truly show you how bad this situation is:
I began the night by scurrying to the store to obtain some nice wine, a box of chocolates, and anal lube to seduce Steg into letting me wine and dine him. I then ran home because I realized I spent over an hour attempting to reach the wine on the top shelf.
Once I got home, I called Steg over and invited him to dinner. After attempting to reach the knob on the oven to turn it on, I gave up and ordered Taco Bell. Steg then arrived, late might I add, and scoffed at the food I slaved ordering. He just sat down on the couch and wanted to talk. I let him drown on for a few hours about his backstory and what not until I just decided to go for it and lay a kiss on him. Then the unthinkable and heartbreaking happened: he shoved me away and began asking me why I would try something. He looked at me like I was a monster when I know for a fact I am an adorable little badger.
Steg looked me dead in my eyes and stated “I will never sleep with an animal.” I was shocked. I needed to know what he meant by calling me animal because I am so much more than that. I explained thoroughly how I am not just a badger, but a shapeshifter in badger form yet he just shook his head and left. Not even my two buttholes could seduce him.
It is with that I have come to the very valid conclusion that Steg is a specie-ist. You have heard it from me first, Steg personally did not want me to achieve my dream because he feels as though humans are the superior species. Well Steg, I have news for you, I will find a human to sleep with and will be a better sim tester than you ever have been. FULL FUCKING STOP. This cannot stand in this league. We cherish our diversity and with me being the only shapeshifter in badger form, I cannot take this. I call on our Commissioner and other leaders in this league, are you really okay with having a specie-ist here? I need answers.
It’s your favorite badger speaking here. I understand from my last point task there was some confusion as to how a badger could play football, so I want to take the time to explain. First of all, I am more than just a badger - I am a shapeshifter currently in badger form. In Foon, the realm I’m from, shapeshifters are able to shift into a new form by sleeping with someone. That night, whatever creature we slept with, we turn into that form. Throughout my life I have been a pony, a grasshopper, eagle, and wizard. The possibilities are endless. Now that you understand how I shift, it’ll give you more context as to how frustrating my current challenge is.
Last night I realized if I wanted to be respected in this league I need to shift into a human form. Naturally, my solution was to sleep with the best sim tester within this league so I could absorb his human form to dominate: iStegosauruz, full stop. Much to my effort, Steg was not willing to do so. Let me walk you through last nights event to truly show you how bad this situation is:
I began the night by scurrying to the store to obtain some nice wine, a box of chocolates, and anal lube to seduce Steg into letting me wine and dine him. I then ran home because I realized I spent over an hour attempting to reach the wine on the top shelf.
Once I got home, I called Steg over and invited him to dinner. After attempting to reach the knob on the oven to turn it on, I gave up and ordered Taco Bell. Steg then arrived, late might I add, and scoffed at the food I slaved ordering. He just sat down on the couch and wanted to talk. I let him drown on for a few hours about his backstory and what not until I just decided to go for it and lay a kiss on him. Then the unthinkable and heartbreaking happened: he shoved me away and began asking me why I would try something. He looked at me like I was a monster when I know for a fact I am an adorable little badger.
Steg looked me dead in my eyes and stated “I will never sleep with an animal.” I was shocked. I needed to know what he meant by calling me animal because I am so much more than that. I explained thoroughly how I am not just a badger, but a shapeshifter in badger form yet he just shook his head and left. Not even my two buttholes could seduce him.
It is with that I have come to the very valid conclusion that Steg is a specie-ist. You have heard it from me first, Steg personally did not want me to achieve my dream because he feels as though humans are the superior species. Well Steg, I have news for you, I will find a human to sleep with and will be a better sim tester than you ever have been. FULL FUCKING STOP. This cannot stand in this league. We cherish our diversity and with me being the only shapeshifter in badger form, I cannot take this. I call on our Commissioner and other leaders in this league, are you really okay with having a specie-ist here? I need answers.