Greetings heroes! With the recent maelstrom surrounding the newly opened Baltimore Hawks GM position, I thought I'd take a minute and give you my wildly unbiased thoughts. But only on this part. I'm not touching what came before. It’s like a hot stove covered in nuclear waste. And that’s just the comment section. To start, I did my proper research and asked somewhere between 1-11 members of HO if they'd like to not comment on the situation and they agreed.
Armed with this helpful start, I set out to think about who some great candidates would be and of course given that I am well known for my unflappable judgement and for having almost no flaws whatsoever, I am the right person for the job. Like the leagues Felix Fixit Jr, but also sometimes Wreck-it-Ralph…...uhhhh what was I saying? Oh yeah...I'm surprisingly good at stuff with an above average to great track record depending on the eyar, league department, whether I started it, and alcohol. On the note I think I've found a pair of absolutely stellar choices that you are going to love.
The first is @iStegosauruz You may know Stegz as a member of HO or as the person who broke an entire position group wide open or as the guy with the Alabama accent from drafts or as a Dallas GM. Personally I just call him Jake. It's not his name and he's asked me to stop but that's not really important. Stegz is an absolutely wonderful choice. He's a fresh GM in ISFL yes but originally got well seasoned in a war room that had a plethora of them, especially salt. Now he is in his second war room (I assume) and is well versed in many ways to do things. He has big plans and ideas. He would be amazing to turn a team around. And he’ll do your math homework if you sign a lower deal.
Second is @"Laser" I know! A former GM of the Year and one of the most successful team leaders of all time, Laser would be a home run from the three point line. Laser taught us all the value of 79 speed and how to not ever care about kickers. With Baltimore having the highest TPE QB in the league, bringing in a former GM who's had success with that scenario is a big idea. Plus he's so well known that when he left GM chat, people said he'd be back in two months. Laser would be absolutely wonderful. The GM of the most title wins takes over the team with the most almost title wins and brings them that next step.
Now...I know that this may also create work unintended consequences but I have those covered too. See, if Stegz is hired, that means he'll have to step down from HO. In which case there's a great candidate waiting in the wings. His name is Laser. Maybe you've heard of him. And on the flip side, if Laser is chosen then we can make Stegz the next Commissioner of the league. That's a win-win for everyone and also I haven’t reminded Bex in a while that she needs to update her passport to freedom at some point. Really all her passports.
Then once the dust is settled and we've got two fine individuals in their newly permanent jobs and Baltimore all set up with it’s GM of the future, we can tackle this expansion thing.
No Communists were harmed in the making of this movie.
Armed with this helpful start, I set out to think about who some great candidates would be and of course given that I am well known for my unflappable judgement and for having almost no flaws whatsoever, I am the right person for the job. Like the leagues Felix Fixit Jr, but also sometimes Wreck-it-Ralph…...uhhhh what was I saying? Oh yeah...I'm surprisingly good at stuff with an above average to great track record depending on the eyar, league department, whether I started it, and alcohol. On the note I think I've found a pair of absolutely stellar choices that you are going to love.
The first is @iStegosauruz You may know Stegz as a member of HO or as the person who broke an entire position group wide open or as the guy with the Alabama accent from drafts or as a Dallas GM. Personally I just call him Jake. It's not his name and he's asked me to stop but that's not really important. Stegz is an absolutely wonderful choice. He's a fresh GM in ISFL yes but originally got well seasoned in a war room that had a plethora of them, especially salt. Now he is in his second war room (I assume) and is well versed in many ways to do things. He has big plans and ideas. He would be amazing to turn a team around. And he’ll do your math homework if you sign a lower deal.
Second is @"Laser" I know! A former GM of the Year and one of the most successful team leaders of all time, Laser would be a home run from the three point line. Laser taught us all the value of 79 speed and how to not ever care about kickers. With Baltimore having the highest TPE QB in the league, bringing in a former GM who's had success with that scenario is a big idea. Plus he's so well known that when he left GM chat, people said he'd be back in two months. Laser would be absolutely wonderful. The GM of the most title wins takes over the team with the most almost title wins and brings them that next step.
Now...I know that this may also create work unintended consequences but I have those covered too. See, if Stegz is hired, that means he'll have to step down from HO. In which case there's a great candidate waiting in the wings. His name is Laser. Maybe you've heard of him. And on the flip side, if Laser is chosen then we can make Stegz the next Commissioner of the league. That's a win-win for everyone and also I haven’t reminded Bex in a while that she needs to update her passport to freedom at some point. Really all her passports.
Then once the dust is settled and we've got two fine individuals in their newly permanent jobs and Baltimore all set up with it’s GM of the future, we can tackle this expansion thing.
No Communists were harmed in the making of this movie.