The old courthouse in Santa Jose, California, is where the civil cases in the locality are held. If your marriage is coming to a beginning or an end, it is here that you sign your paperwork; if your neighbour scratched your car while turning into his driveway and won’t pay for the damages, it is here where you look for a judge to issue a compensation order in your favour; it is here that if you feel you were wrongfully terminated from your previous employment that you can go in search of justice.
The courthouse is an ornate building, it has Romanesque columns, and a dome covered with a shimmering layer of solid copper, it’s six-foot-deep solid brick masonry superstructure resting on its six foot deep concrete foundation has allowed for this beautiful building to survive numerous earthquakes, yet today, with the continuance of Alix Short’s unfair dismissal hearing, the century hold courthouse was at its breaking point.
For a large building, it’s courtrooms were relatively small, it’s facilities – while first class at one stage, have long seen better days. And on this warm August day, the retrofitted air conditioning system was broken (not an uncommon occurrence) and two of the six toilet cubicles in the building were out of service due to blockages, blockages which have existed for over a week at that stage, thus the hoard of media who had gathered to report on this abnormal case of Human Resources gone awry were fresh out of luck – their complaints fell on deaf ears, and a general mood of discontentment was in the air prior to the recommencement of the case in the hot and stuffy, packed main courtroom in the old courthouse.
Indeed, the only two sets of people who appeared happy in the locality were the owners of the coffee shop across the road who had hiked up their prices by 100% and stuck up a prominent sign in their window which read “toilets are for patrons use only” next to another sign “cash only” and the newly appointed attorney at law who was representing Alix Short – Yohann Shultz, a small-time attorney, not used to media exposure, but clearly enjoying the attention.
It would be remiss of me to not delve deeper into the character of Yohann Shultz. Born on the bad side of town in San Francisco California in the early 1950’s, Mr Shultz was a short, rotund man, with a flowing main of thinning silver hair which sat just above his shoulders.
He wore eye glasses, despite not needing them to read – but would regularly remove them, when looking to make a particularly salient point. He also wore a yarmulke despite not being of the jewish faith, you see, Yohann Shultz was infact born John Short, but in order to avoid paying child welfare payments to his former wife, he changed his name to Yohann Shultz, moved out of San Francisco and set up practice in the neighbouring city of San Jose, California. Specialising in personal injury claims,
Shultz was your prototypical ambulance chaser – regularly visible at motor accidents handing out cards to anybody who was nearby.
Shultz claim to fame was that he once successfully claimed against an ice cream parlour after he got what is commonly known as “brain freeze” having eaten his ice cream too quickly, he claimed that the ice cream served was done so at too cold a temperature and as a result he now had a pathological fear of eating or drinking anything containing the word ice. A complete fabrication of course, but none the less, the judge on that particular day ruled in his favour.
The adjudicator in this case, Harold Zambini, was a man in his early seventies, bald and skinny, he still looked quite fit despite his advancing years, and looked completely unfazed by the gathering of media as he looked to restart the proceedings. Firstly, he apologised to the jam packed courtroom for his tardiness – the bus which he was taking had run late, secondly he told the assembled courtroom that it was his courtroom and thus and misbehaving and they will be asked one time, and only one time, to leave. and finally he set about reviewing the case to date.
“So, here’s where we stand, Ms Short is claiming a case of constructive dismissal against her former employer – The San Jose Sabrekittens – alleging that the working conditions and treatment and behaviour of her superiors led to a position whereby her position of employment was untenable, getting down to brass tacks here, the claimant is alleging that some of her former colleagues engaged in the oldest trade known to man – prostitution, that this was actively encouraged by her former employer, and as a result she could not, in good conscience maintain employment for fear of being tarnished as a lady of ill repute by her family, church members, society and what have you – is this correct?”
“Yes your honour, but in addition, Ms Short is also looking for compensation for the mental anguish which she suffered at the hands of her former employer, and fears that she may not be able to work again”
“Mr Shultz, Do you believe I came down in the last shower?”
“No, your honour, it is quite clear that you did not.”
“Indeed, Mr Shultz, indeed, you see that’s the problem with lawyers today, compensation culture is breaking up the moral fabric of society. Do I for one second believe that Ms Short is now mentally broken for thinking that some of her former colleagues are hookers?!? Not for one second sir – so don’t try and bring that jibber jabber in front of me, preposterous in the extreme.”
The judge now addressed Ms Short directly.
“Ms Short, you will not be receiving a life altering sum of money today, regardless of how I find in this matter, however, that does not mean I do not think you have a case for constructive dismissal, but I strongly suggest you take a look at who you have acting on your behalf.”
And with that, reading the tones of the judge, Shultz was asked to leave immediately by Alix Short, fired after little more than two sentences spoken, he didn’t even put up an objection but walked through the centre of the courtroom, past the assembled journalists and out in the main hallway of the old courthouse, his metaphorical tail located firmly between his legs.
Sitting across from a now lonely Alix Short, was a newly assembled team representing the interests of the San Jose Sabrecat organisation, while on Friday there was just the HR director (expecting nothing more than a standard open and shut case), she was now flanked by two legal heavyweights, a solicitor complete with a rolling case of files and a hotshot New York based attorney, Chris Stately, who would be the only one of the three to speak on behalf of the Sabrecat organisation.
A strange case of affairs indeed for a human resources civil case.
Indeed, the current situation is one which the Sabrecats organisation did a lot to try and avoid, rumours persisted on the twittersphere that some of the big wigs from the organisation met with Short and her now former attorney, Shultz, proposing a hefty out of court settlement so long as she signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement which barred her from talking to any media for life. The thought of which was not even entertained as Shultz quickly batted away their offers with talk of book deals, Oprah appearances and made for TV movie deals.
Given how the day has played out so far, perhaps Ms Short was now regretting not being more forceful with her former attorney in taking a payoff.
Judge Zambini spoke again, “If I’m not mistaken, Mr Stately, you would like to make a representation in defence of the employer at this point?”
“Yes, your honour, the allegations put forth by Ms Short are frivolous and scandalous in the extreme, they represent nothing more than lockerroom gossip and this entire debacle is the most blatant case of self-serving, self-publicising, trivial nonsense which I have ever come across in all my years at the bar.
Your honour, the San Jose Sabrecats and by extension the San Jose Sabrekittens, do nothing but good for this community, they aim to serve it by putting on a good show on and off the football field. The cheerleaders of the Sabrekittens play a pivotal role in this, and I can categorically state as fact, that at no point have they been encouraged by the organisation to whore themselves out for money, information or anything else.
Unfortunately, this is just the case of a young lady who could not keep up with the rigours of professional cheerleading and who after being the butt of some jokes from her peers when they found out that she had quit the team, felt solace in the retribution of labelling them prostitutes and thinking that she could turn a quick buck by taking this here case.
There has been absolutely no evidence presented in this case, it is the word of a disillusioned young girl versus that of a rateable, community based, community-serving organisation.”
“Compelling indeed Mr Stately, Ms Short, given that you are now going to have to make self-representation going forward, do you have anything to say in rebuttal?”
Alix Short stood up meekly, took off her secretary style glasses, something which her former attorney insisted that she wear for the trial, and spoke firmly to the judge, in her sweet, high pitched, Southern Californian accent.
“Judge, there’s a video I can show you if you like…” said Ms Short as she held out her phone.
With that there was commotion in the courtroom, one man jumped over the bench and shouted at Alix Short
“I will give you a hundred grand for that video right now”
He was quickly tackled by a police officer, meanwhile the judge was banging incessantly on his gavel, attempting to regain some order in his courtroom which at this point was in a state of disarray.
“Order, order, that is quite enough” As another thud of his gavel bore down on the wooden bench in front of him, “Ms Short, take your phone and come with me, Mr Stately, come with me too. Your two friends can sit there and relax for a while”
And with that the three of them headed off to the judge’s chambers.
What does the video show? Is it a leading NSFL player? Is it Reg Mackworth or King Bronko?
Tune in next week to find out more...
Graded
Payout=$2,346,000
The courthouse is an ornate building, it has Romanesque columns, and a dome covered with a shimmering layer of solid copper, it’s six-foot-deep solid brick masonry superstructure resting on its six foot deep concrete foundation has allowed for this beautiful building to survive numerous earthquakes, yet today, with the continuance of Alix Short’s unfair dismissal hearing, the century hold courthouse was at its breaking point.
For a large building, it’s courtrooms were relatively small, it’s facilities – while first class at one stage, have long seen better days. And on this warm August day, the retrofitted air conditioning system was broken (not an uncommon occurrence) and two of the six toilet cubicles in the building were out of service due to blockages, blockages which have existed for over a week at that stage, thus the hoard of media who had gathered to report on this abnormal case of Human Resources gone awry were fresh out of luck – their complaints fell on deaf ears, and a general mood of discontentment was in the air prior to the recommencement of the case in the hot and stuffy, packed main courtroom in the old courthouse.
Indeed, the only two sets of people who appeared happy in the locality were the owners of the coffee shop across the road who had hiked up their prices by 100% and stuck up a prominent sign in their window which read “toilets are for patrons use only” next to another sign “cash only” and the newly appointed attorney at law who was representing Alix Short – Yohann Shultz, a small-time attorney, not used to media exposure, but clearly enjoying the attention.
It would be remiss of me to not delve deeper into the character of Yohann Shultz. Born on the bad side of town in San Francisco California in the early 1950’s, Mr Shultz was a short, rotund man, with a flowing main of thinning silver hair which sat just above his shoulders.
He wore eye glasses, despite not needing them to read – but would regularly remove them, when looking to make a particularly salient point. He also wore a yarmulke despite not being of the jewish faith, you see, Yohann Shultz was infact born John Short, but in order to avoid paying child welfare payments to his former wife, he changed his name to Yohann Shultz, moved out of San Francisco and set up practice in the neighbouring city of San Jose, California. Specialising in personal injury claims,
Shultz was your prototypical ambulance chaser – regularly visible at motor accidents handing out cards to anybody who was nearby.
Shultz claim to fame was that he once successfully claimed against an ice cream parlour after he got what is commonly known as “brain freeze” having eaten his ice cream too quickly, he claimed that the ice cream served was done so at too cold a temperature and as a result he now had a pathological fear of eating or drinking anything containing the word ice. A complete fabrication of course, but none the less, the judge on that particular day ruled in his favour.
The adjudicator in this case, Harold Zambini, was a man in his early seventies, bald and skinny, he still looked quite fit despite his advancing years, and looked completely unfazed by the gathering of media as he looked to restart the proceedings. Firstly, he apologised to the jam packed courtroom for his tardiness – the bus which he was taking had run late, secondly he told the assembled courtroom that it was his courtroom and thus and misbehaving and they will be asked one time, and only one time, to leave. and finally he set about reviewing the case to date.
“So, here’s where we stand, Ms Short is claiming a case of constructive dismissal against her former employer – The San Jose Sabrekittens – alleging that the working conditions and treatment and behaviour of her superiors led to a position whereby her position of employment was untenable, getting down to brass tacks here, the claimant is alleging that some of her former colleagues engaged in the oldest trade known to man – prostitution, that this was actively encouraged by her former employer, and as a result she could not, in good conscience maintain employment for fear of being tarnished as a lady of ill repute by her family, church members, society and what have you – is this correct?”
“Yes your honour, but in addition, Ms Short is also looking for compensation for the mental anguish which she suffered at the hands of her former employer, and fears that she may not be able to work again”
“Mr Shultz, Do you believe I came down in the last shower?”
“No, your honour, it is quite clear that you did not.”
“Indeed, Mr Shultz, indeed, you see that’s the problem with lawyers today, compensation culture is breaking up the moral fabric of society. Do I for one second believe that Ms Short is now mentally broken for thinking that some of her former colleagues are hookers?!? Not for one second sir – so don’t try and bring that jibber jabber in front of me, preposterous in the extreme.”
The judge now addressed Ms Short directly.
“Ms Short, you will not be receiving a life altering sum of money today, regardless of how I find in this matter, however, that does not mean I do not think you have a case for constructive dismissal, but I strongly suggest you take a look at who you have acting on your behalf.”
And with that, reading the tones of the judge, Shultz was asked to leave immediately by Alix Short, fired after little more than two sentences spoken, he didn’t even put up an objection but walked through the centre of the courtroom, past the assembled journalists and out in the main hallway of the old courthouse, his metaphorical tail located firmly between his legs.
Sitting across from a now lonely Alix Short, was a newly assembled team representing the interests of the San Jose Sabrecat organisation, while on Friday there was just the HR director (expecting nothing more than a standard open and shut case), she was now flanked by two legal heavyweights, a solicitor complete with a rolling case of files and a hotshot New York based attorney, Chris Stately, who would be the only one of the three to speak on behalf of the Sabrecat organisation.
A strange case of affairs indeed for a human resources civil case.
Indeed, the current situation is one which the Sabrecats organisation did a lot to try and avoid, rumours persisted on the twittersphere that some of the big wigs from the organisation met with Short and her now former attorney, Shultz, proposing a hefty out of court settlement so long as she signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement which barred her from talking to any media for life. The thought of which was not even entertained as Shultz quickly batted away their offers with talk of book deals, Oprah appearances and made for TV movie deals.
Given how the day has played out so far, perhaps Ms Short was now regretting not being more forceful with her former attorney in taking a payoff.
Judge Zambini spoke again, “If I’m not mistaken, Mr Stately, you would like to make a representation in defence of the employer at this point?”
“Yes, your honour, the allegations put forth by Ms Short are frivolous and scandalous in the extreme, they represent nothing more than lockerroom gossip and this entire debacle is the most blatant case of self-serving, self-publicising, trivial nonsense which I have ever come across in all my years at the bar.
Your honour, the San Jose Sabrecats and by extension the San Jose Sabrekittens, do nothing but good for this community, they aim to serve it by putting on a good show on and off the football field. The cheerleaders of the Sabrekittens play a pivotal role in this, and I can categorically state as fact, that at no point have they been encouraged by the organisation to whore themselves out for money, information or anything else.
Unfortunately, this is just the case of a young lady who could not keep up with the rigours of professional cheerleading and who after being the butt of some jokes from her peers when they found out that she had quit the team, felt solace in the retribution of labelling them prostitutes and thinking that she could turn a quick buck by taking this here case.
There has been absolutely no evidence presented in this case, it is the word of a disillusioned young girl versus that of a rateable, community based, community-serving organisation.”
“Compelling indeed Mr Stately, Ms Short, given that you are now going to have to make self-representation going forward, do you have anything to say in rebuttal?”
Alix Short stood up meekly, took off her secretary style glasses, something which her former attorney insisted that she wear for the trial, and spoke firmly to the judge, in her sweet, high pitched, Southern Californian accent.
“Judge, there’s a video I can show you if you like…” said Ms Short as she held out her phone.
With that there was commotion in the courtroom, one man jumped over the bench and shouted at Alix Short
“I will give you a hundred grand for that video right now”
He was quickly tackled by a police officer, meanwhile the judge was banging incessantly on his gavel, attempting to regain some order in his courtroom which at this point was in a state of disarray.
“Order, order, that is quite enough” As another thud of his gavel bore down on the wooden bench in front of him, “Ms Short, take your phone and come with me, Mr Stately, come with me too. Your two friends can sit there and relax for a while”
And with that the three of them headed off to the judge’s chambers.
What does the video show? Is it a leading NSFL player? Is it Reg Mackworth or King Bronko?
Tune in next week to find out more...
Graded
Payout=$2,346,000