03-14-2021, 04:12 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-14-2021, 04:25 PM by Asked Madden.)
A look back on the underwhelming rookie campaign of wide receiver Tugg Speedman of the San Jose Sabercats. Since the preseason does not count we will go game by game and talk about all of the exciting times Tugg didn't score a touchdown.
Week 1
First game of his Tuggs career was a win over the very talented Arizona Outlaw team. Tugg was targeted 4 times where he hauled in 2 receptions and a total of 20 yards. A real dominant performance in their debut.
Week 2
The second game of Tuggs rookie season was a shootout against the Baltimore Hawks. He was targeted 5 times while hauling in 3 receptions and 28 yards. Just another dominant performance for our protagonist. Wins a win baby!
Week 3
Week three was a tough one for the Sabercats as they were dominated by the New Orleans Secondline. Tugg was targeted 10, yes 10 times but only catching 4 of those for a modest 59 yards. We're really cooking with fire here and building momentum.
Week 4
Week four was another rough one for not only the Sabercats but Tugg personally. This was the second week in a row where the Sabercats were dominated and this time it was by the eventual Ultimus runner-up Honolulu Hahalua. Tugg netted no targets and no increase in self-confidence.
Week 5
Week five saw our protagonists in the win column, this time against the New York Silverbacks. A true beautiful performance as the Sabercats shut them out and Tugg was targeted 7 times for 5 receptions and wait for it..... 91 yards baby!!! 5 straight week without a touchdown, sadge but hey this can't last the entire season can it? LOL
Week 6
Another goddamn beating that results in a win, this time against division foe Austin Copperheads. The Sabercats took the lead early and never looked back. Tugg came very close to that pesky touchdown but alas it did not happen as he was targeted 7 times and came away with 5 receptions for 35 yards. A true gentleman for allowing his teammates to get more open and score touchdowns.
Week 7
Three wins in a row, things are looking up and as we beat those pesky Orange County Otters. Tugg is targeted 7 times again and reeled in 4 of them for 31 yards. At this point, Tugg has become a bonafide first down machine but is severely allergic to scoring a damn touchdown.
Week 8
GODDAMNNNN, 4 wins in a row. This team is on fire and nothing can stop us... are those ellipses foreshadowing, guess you'll see. In this beautiful shootout against the Chicago Butchers, Tugg manages to reel in 4 of 5 targets for 53 yards and plenty of first downs. Truly a master class of moving the chains. You just have to appreciate his ability to just not get in the fucking endzone as the halfway point of the season is here.
Week 9
Uh oh, a loss has stopped the beautiful win streak from continuing. Damn you Philadelphia Liberty and your dumb cracked bell that should've been fixed forever ago. This time out, Tugg was targeted 9 times and came away with 5 receptions 31 yards and some cute ass first downs again. Touchdowns are overrated, you can't tell me differently.
Week 10
Shit. Another loss, this time to the New Orleans Secondline. Tugg comes away with 5 catches on 7 targets and 41 yards. At this point, I've been blue balled from the endzone so much that I'm going to probably cry and eat a tub of ice cream.
Week 11
What the hell, we lost again. Why has god forsaken us??? The Sabercats who could easily beat up an Otter, get their shit kicked in as Tugg hauls in 3 catches on 6 targets for 50 yards. *enter frustrated GIF about not scoring and how chicks dig the chains being moved*
Week 12
Ahhh, sweet sweet victory baby. We sweep the season series against them damn snakes down in Austin. Tugg sucked this game but the win makes it all better as he caught 3 of 9 targets for 41 yards and probably a nice ass first down. The chains probably sounded so crisp as they moved in the Austin heat.
Week 13
Now is not the time to lose. The Sabercats drop this one to the Outlaws as not much was going in the way of offense for our heroes. Tugg caught 6 of 7 targets for 61 yards and no touchdowns. Do I even need to say the latter? Probably not, but didn't want anyone to think I may have missed saying it.
Week 14
Sabercats lose a heartbreaker as our great great kicker has the most unlucky sim of all time and the half-TPE earning kicker of the Wraiths ties (breaks?) the longest field goal record of 63 yards for the win. What the shit!?!? Not the best time to lose a game as the division race is really heating up. Tugg comes away with 3 catches on 5 targets and 32 yards. No I didn't finally score my touchdown, please no more questions at this time.
Week 15
GODDAMMIT. Sabercats lose to the Hahalua in this one. What the hell is a hahalua anyway. Looks like a stingray in which case, I dislike you for what you did to our sweet sweet Steve Irwin. Tugg gets no targets although he did flex on some defensive players with 3 pancakes. Pancakes are a much more valuable stat than touchdowns anyway. At this point, I'm desperate for a touchdown. Just give me one God, why have you forsaken me???
Week 16
We win against the Silverbacks again and finish the season at .500 however we don't make the playoffs. SADGE. Tugg comes away with 3 catches on 5 targets for 29 yards AND no touchdowns. I'm fine. I promise. I may or may not have listened to my emo playlist I made in 6th grade math class for a week straight.
On the season, Tugg Speedman caught 55 passes for 602 yards. He had 6 receptions for 20+ yards and 29 first downs baby!!!! Not to brag but he also had 15 pancakes on the year which coincidentally is how many he ate the day after the season ended for San Jose.
Week 1
First game of his Tuggs career was a win over the very talented Arizona Outlaw team. Tugg was targeted 4 times where he hauled in 2 receptions and a total of 20 yards. A real dominant performance in their debut.
Week 2
The second game of Tuggs rookie season was a shootout against the Baltimore Hawks. He was targeted 5 times while hauling in 3 receptions and 28 yards. Just another dominant performance for our protagonist. Wins a win baby!
Week 3
Week three was a tough one for the Sabercats as they were dominated by the New Orleans Secondline. Tugg was targeted 10, yes 10 times but only catching 4 of those for a modest 59 yards. We're really cooking with fire here and building momentum.
Week 4
Week four was another rough one for not only the Sabercats but Tugg personally. This was the second week in a row where the Sabercats were dominated and this time it was by the eventual Ultimus runner-up Honolulu Hahalua. Tugg netted no targets and no increase in self-confidence.
Week 5
Week five saw our protagonists in the win column, this time against the New York Silverbacks. A true beautiful performance as the Sabercats shut them out and Tugg was targeted 7 times for 5 receptions and wait for it..... 91 yards baby!!! 5 straight week without a touchdown, sadge but hey this can't last the entire season can it? LOL
Week 6
Another goddamn beating that results in a win, this time against division foe Austin Copperheads. The Sabercats took the lead early and never looked back. Tugg came very close to that pesky touchdown but alas it did not happen as he was targeted 7 times and came away with 5 receptions for 35 yards. A true gentleman for allowing his teammates to get more open and score touchdowns.
Week 7
Three wins in a row, things are looking up and as we beat those pesky Orange County Otters. Tugg is targeted 7 times again and reeled in 4 of them for 31 yards. At this point, Tugg has become a bonafide first down machine but is severely allergic to scoring a damn touchdown.
Week 8
GODDAMNNNN, 4 wins in a row. This team is on fire and nothing can stop us... are those ellipses foreshadowing, guess you'll see. In this beautiful shootout against the Chicago Butchers, Tugg manages to reel in 4 of 5 targets for 53 yards and plenty of first downs. Truly a master class of moving the chains. You just have to appreciate his ability to just not get in the fucking endzone as the halfway point of the season is here.
Week 9
Uh oh, a loss has stopped the beautiful win streak from continuing. Damn you Philadelphia Liberty and your dumb cracked bell that should've been fixed forever ago. This time out, Tugg was targeted 9 times and came away with 5 receptions 31 yards and some cute ass first downs again. Touchdowns are overrated, you can't tell me differently.
Week 10
Shit. Another loss, this time to the New Orleans Secondline. Tugg comes away with 5 catches on 7 targets and 41 yards. At this point, I've been blue balled from the endzone so much that I'm going to probably cry and eat a tub of ice cream.
Week 11
What the hell, we lost again. Why has god forsaken us??? The Sabercats who could easily beat up an Otter, get their shit kicked in as Tugg hauls in 3 catches on 6 targets for 50 yards. *enter frustrated GIF about not scoring and how chicks dig the chains being moved*
Week 12
Ahhh, sweet sweet victory baby. We sweep the season series against them damn snakes down in Austin. Tugg sucked this game but the win makes it all better as he caught 3 of 9 targets for 41 yards and probably a nice ass first down. The chains probably sounded so crisp as they moved in the Austin heat.
Week 13
Now is not the time to lose. The Sabercats drop this one to the Outlaws as not much was going in the way of offense for our heroes. Tugg caught 6 of 7 targets for 61 yards and no touchdowns. Do I even need to say the latter? Probably not, but didn't want anyone to think I may have missed saying it.
Week 14
Sabercats lose a heartbreaker as our great great kicker has the most unlucky sim of all time and the half-TPE earning kicker of the Wraiths ties (breaks?) the longest field goal record of 63 yards for the win. What the shit!?!? Not the best time to lose a game as the division race is really heating up. Tugg comes away with 3 catches on 5 targets and 32 yards. No I didn't finally score my touchdown, please no more questions at this time.
Week 15
GODDAMMIT. Sabercats lose to the Hahalua in this one. What the hell is a hahalua anyway. Looks like a stingray in which case, I dislike you for what you did to our sweet sweet Steve Irwin. Tugg gets no targets although he did flex on some defensive players with 3 pancakes. Pancakes are a much more valuable stat than touchdowns anyway. At this point, I'm desperate for a touchdown. Just give me one God, why have you forsaken me???
Week 16
We win against the Silverbacks again and finish the season at .500 however we don't make the playoffs. SADGE. Tugg comes away with 3 catches on 5 targets for 29 yards AND no touchdowns. I'm fine. I promise. I may or may not have listened to my emo playlist I made in 6th grade math class for a week straight.
On the season, Tugg Speedman caught 55 passes for 602 yards. He had 6 receptions for 20+ yards and 29 first downs baby!!!! Not to brag but he also had 15 pancakes on the year which coincidentally is how many he ate the day after the season ended for San Jose.
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