Perhaps this is a loaded question. No one truly hates Canada, they exist outside of any realm most are experienced with. They are above the U.S. but they play different sports, and have different values. No one hates them. They are just the igloo people that ride polar bears to school. But if they are so similar to the U.S., why do they only have one team? For the so-called “International” Sim Football League there is a stark lack of representation for the pals up north.
Existing Franchises
To understand where the league could go, we must understand where we reside. In my mind I think it makes sense to start with the DSFL. It is what I am familiar with thus far and any logistical issues should present themselves early on. Within the DSFL there are 8 teams separated evenly between the North, and South division. I want to turn our focus to the South division. Before we get too in depth,I’m going to admit something here, and it’s not something I say lightly. I am an idiot. When researching this part of my writing I thought my complaint of little Canadian representation was screwed, since I really don’t know where Norfolk is. Embarrassing considering I play for the Seawolves, yes, but in searching them up I thought that we were situated in the municipality of Ontario, Norfolk, instead of Virginia, Norfolk. It is upsetting. Norfolk is in the South division as well. I’m just a fool. I cannot lie and I can only blame myself. But let’s just move forward, right?
DSFL South
My foolishness aside, the DSFL South seems fairly standard in terms of representation for a development league. Dallas is a large market to encapsulate but it is untapped in the ISFL. Good on the Birddogs for taking advantage of that with their recent expansion. Norfolk and Bondi Beach make more sense. With my limited geographical knowledge, it appears that South Carolina and Virginia are similar southern charm states. Great spot for a step beyond college football for a lot of these young, budding stars. Plus, both names imply virginity, it’s right in the name of the latter state, and cheering for Carolina teams is a sure sign of living in a no bone zone. Great for people who follow youth sports. Then you get to a peculiar team. This one really tickles my jimmies in a weird way. The Tijuana Luchadores. They’ve been around since Season 3, they have multiple championships, but most peculiar of all they are situated in Mexico. Mexico is not in the U.S.A. This is the first indication that borders are not much of a concern for the league. Perhaps there are more lax restrictions between Mexico <-> US travel than to go to and fro Canada? Regardless, the travel of staying within the south is surely also easier for teams so I can accept this. Also gotta keep respecting the grind into getting the untapped market of the entirety of Mexico behind your team. The DSFL South crosses my boxes for a reasonable set of teams, which makes sense given the fact they are south and Canada is north.
DSFL North
Things start off pretty similarly to the South, with three of the teams all being very close together on a relative scale. Kansas City has nothing else to do but to see the Royals tank, or see the world Cornhole finals, so getting Football in the city, or even the state, is a major boon. Minnesota might be the closest we get to Canada, as they are honorary members of the North when discussing hockey, but close isn’t good enough! I demand Canada! Ahem, another team that has good value and can represent a nation well. Then you get Portland which is… eh? Nothing against the city but they are very close to the West, which is going to be an issue very shortly. The London Royals. What the fuck is this? What the FUCK is this? This isn’t London, Ontario, this is London, England. This is outrageous! The DSFL as a league cannot fund this. How are you going to send teenagers from Dallas to play what is technically Soccer? Not only are they flying overseas to play Football, they are doing so in the Division which features the Western-most team possible, as well as the league that features a team in Mexico. I can’t justify this, it makes more sense to have a team in Japan for this division compared to a team in England, but I will bite my tongue for now.
ISFL ASFC
I have to be honest, I don’t know what ASFC stands for but I’ll assume it means American Super Football Conference. It makes sense since all of these teams are spread across America. I don’t think I need to go in depth here since the teams speak for themselves and there are no surprises. Austin, Arizona, Orange County, San Jose, and Honolulu cover the southern parts of the U.S. One thing I am surprised by is that the Hahalua are located in Florida. Weird to be called Honolulu and to be in Florida, but I won’t question the team Wiki, even though the Wiki also claims they are in Hawaii. I have no clue which one to trust, but Hawaii… well it isn’t as egregious as London. New York seems a bit removed from the other teams by being up North but it isn’t really that big of a deal, it’s a huge market and they deserve good football.
ISFL NSFC
I have no guesses to what NSFC stands for, either. North South Football Club? I’m not creative enough for this. I’m once again going to look at the teams I deem “acceptable.” Chicago, Colorado, Baltimore, Philadelphia. They are all in premier locations where other sports co-exist, there are fan bases, and the travel ain’t too bad. I did have to do some slight research on Sarasota and Yellowknife. Yellowknife is a surprise for me. I always think it’s the city that’s in the Yukon, but then I make myself think it’s the state where there’s a supervolcano and geysers. Turns out, it’s neither. This is the only discernible Canadian team in the entirety of the ISFL and DSFL and it’s in the Northwest Territories. Admittedly a weird location, since it’s one of the territories which are somewhat removed from the better known provinces, but it is still a welcome addition. Then there’s Sarasota. They are a Florida team which actually exists in Florida, unlike the damned Honolulu Hahalua. Things are a lot more streamlined in this conference with the teams following up the east coast, though Yellowknife is in Western Canada if my limited geographical knowledge serves me right. So, kind of weird on Yellowknife but the conference is well set up.
The one team I haven’t much is Berlin. Much like there being a London team, Berlin? In Europe? I have nothing against this but again, it sees weird that the U.S.’ neighbours have just as much representation as the folks across the pond. And the thing is, this is a very negative thing for the one existing Canadian team. They are more west than any current team in their conference and they have to work out ways to fly all the way to Berlin? I don’t even know if Yellowknife has an airport big enough to handle planes advanced enough for that kind of travel! I promised myself I wouldn’t get mad…
Potential Locations
After looking at where the current ISFL and DSFL teams reside, we can get to looking for the future of the league--the feature of a league in Canada. Not to be rude to my European friends over in Berlin, but their location throws a massive wrench in the travel of one division that is not seen in another. Meanwhile, there are plenty of locations that can support football operations within Canada. It’s simply unfair that other teams have to say they are playing “Soccer” every time they visit the Fire Salamanders, so they should come on over to Canada.
Toronto
The mecca of Canada (whatever that means). The largest city in the entire country, they are host to multiple sports teams and currently have a football field set up for the ISFL to make a swift entry. They have a large potential fanbase to support teams through thick and thin, and they can easily fit in with the NSFC and their east-coast bias.
Regina
One of the many, many great prairie cities found in central Canada. While Regina is found west, closest to Alberta, there are many redeeming qualities about this city surrounded by barren, wheaty landscapes. They are a hub for entertainment. One time I went down to Regina to see Shrek the Musical. No other city can say they have got me to come see such prestigious plays in person, so that is a point in favour of Regina. Also working for Regina is the fanbase name potential, or even the name potential. I’d recommend the teams drop the “fire” moniker before coming into Regina, but there are a lot nicer combos available. Finally, it’s fuckin Regina. There is nothing else to do so there will be plenty of support.
Calgary
@Amidships Calgary is the real capital of Alberta and I won’t accept otherwise. They have a storied history of being cow-related, as well as taking teams from other cities. It would be a natural fit for them to be a relocation candidate for a European team. Uhh… they also have oil? There ain’t many redeeming qualities for Calgary but they outweigh whatever Edmonton has. They deserve a team!
Vancouver
The last team I want to throw out there would have plenty of ASFC potential. Presuming Honolulu is the Hawaii team, and not in Florida, I think it’s safe to say that having a coastal city with a booming population would be ‘uge in terms of market, as well as travel to Hawaii. They have a diverse population, and a history of being very passionate for their sports teams. I can’t see how this relationship wouldn’t work out for the league!
My Suggestions
I think there’s a pretty clear path the ISFL, and DSFL can take in moving things forward with representation in Canada. I am throwing the ideas of expansion out the window since my grasp on ‘league pulse’ is limited in nature. I can identify major issues travel wise in all but one conference (the DSFL South) and moving things to Canada would fix literally all of them.
First off, let’s move Yellowknife. While I appreciate what they do, they simply do not fit in in their current situation. Moving them doesn’t necessarily mean making them change cities, but they are going to have to join the Western teams in the ASFC. It only makes sense, right? They are much further west than New York, and their travel schedule would fit their size better if they were more consolidated with the other teams in the ASFC as they wouldn’t have to travel overseas (literally). If they were to relocate, I think the Regina Wraiths or the Vancouver Chomp would have alliteration, or power behind their names. I am inclined to say they should move to Vancouver (travel) and find a better name than the Chomp.
For the NSFC, we already have it semi-established that New York is going to be replacing Yellowknife as they are an east-coast franchise that simply fits better with the teams in the NSFC. Beyond that, sorry Berlin, but you’re coming to Ontario. Where in Ontario is up for debate, I of course lean towards Toronto and it’s wide audience reach and past organizational successes, but Ottawa, Wood Buffalo, or Hamilton are strong choices. This creates a much calmer league travel schedule as the NSFC is very centralized on the east coast, and the ASFC is mostly west coast now with Hawaii off in the distance.
The DSFL North is a conference I struggle to want to make changes to. I think they are in a solid spot as far as “oddities” go; having a professional football team overseas seems great for fan drive, but it also seems quite rude to pull university students out of their programs and have them play in Europe in order to have a shot at making the big leagues. This is where a team moving to Regina makes sense. The keep their status as a ‘location oddity’ as now fans can use clever rhymes in marketing and team merch sales go way up, but now they are in the #TrueNorth and have much closer proximity to the rest of the league. Sorry London, but you’re coming to Regina, or the Canadian London. Either one works, really.
Football is a hard enough sport as is. Players get injured, practices are grueling, and games are somehow worse. Adding on intense travel schedules where players are forced to sit down for long periods of time is simply unnecessary. While the league may benefit from having teams overseas in terms of overall reach, the overall impact it has on athletes endurance and health is not worth it at all.
TL;DR, ISFL hate Canada, only one team? Not even anything below the territories? Move various teams to Vancouver, Regina, and Toronto. Profit.
Also new format for conferences; New York and Yellowknife swap conferences, Berlin and London come to Canada.
Existing Franchises
To understand where the league could go, we must understand where we reside. In my mind I think it makes sense to start with the DSFL. It is what I am familiar with thus far and any logistical issues should present themselves early on. Within the DSFL there are 8 teams separated evenly between the North, and South division. I want to turn our focus to the South division. Before we get too in depth,I’m going to admit something here, and it’s not something I say lightly. I am an idiot. When researching this part of my writing I thought my complaint of little Canadian representation was screwed, since I really don’t know where Norfolk is. Embarrassing considering I play for the Seawolves, yes, but in searching them up I thought that we were situated in the municipality of Ontario, Norfolk, instead of Virginia, Norfolk. It is upsetting. Norfolk is in the South division as well. I’m just a fool. I cannot lie and I can only blame myself. But let’s just move forward, right?
DSFL South
My foolishness aside, the DSFL South seems fairly standard in terms of representation for a development league. Dallas is a large market to encapsulate but it is untapped in the ISFL. Good on the Birddogs for taking advantage of that with their recent expansion. Norfolk and Bondi Beach make more sense. With my limited geographical knowledge, it appears that South Carolina and Virginia are similar southern charm states. Great spot for a step beyond college football for a lot of these young, budding stars. Plus, both names imply virginity, it’s right in the name of the latter state, and cheering for Carolina teams is a sure sign of living in a no bone zone. Great for people who follow youth sports. Then you get to a peculiar team. This one really tickles my jimmies in a weird way. The Tijuana Luchadores. They’ve been around since Season 3, they have multiple championships, but most peculiar of all they are situated in Mexico. Mexico is not in the U.S.A. This is the first indication that borders are not much of a concern for the league. Perhaps there are more lax restrictions between Mexico <-> US travel than to go to and fro Canada? Regardless, the travel of staying within the south is surely also easier for teams so I can accept this. Also gotta keep respecting the grind into getting the untapped market of the entirety of Mexico behind your team. The DSFL South crosses my boxes for a reasonable set of teams, which makes sense given the fact they are south and Canada is north.
DSFL North
Things start off pretty similarly to the South, with three of the teams all being very close together on a relative scale. Kansas City has nothing else to do but to see the Royals tank, or see the world Cornhole finals, so getting Football in the city, or even the state, is a major boon. Minnesota might be the closest we get to Canada, as they are honorary members of the North when discussing hockey, but close isn’t good enough! I demand Canada! Ahem, another team that has good value and can represent a nation well. Then you get Portland which is… eh? Nothing against the city but they are very close to the West, which is going to be an issue very shortly. The London Royals. What the fuck is this? What the FUCK is this? This isn’t London, Ontario, this is London, England. This is outrageous! The DSFL as a league cannot fund this. How are you going to send teenagers from Dallas to play what is technically Soccer? Not only are they flying overseas to play Football, they are doing so in the Division which features the Western-most team possible, as well as the league that features a team in Mexico. I can’t justify this, it makes more sense to have a team in Japan for this division compared to a team in England, but I will bite my tongue for now.
ISFL ASFC
I have to be honest, I don’t know what ASFC stands for but I’ll assume it means American Super Football Conference. It makes sense since all of these teams are spread across America. I don’t think I need to go in depth here since the teams speak for themselves and there are no surprises. Austin, Arizona, Orange County, San Jose, and Honolulu cover the southern parts of the U.S. One thing I am surprised by is that the Hahalua are located in Florida. Weird to be called Honolulu and to be in Florida, but I won’t question the team Wiki, even though the Wiki also claims they are in Hawaii. I have no clue which one to trust, but Hawaii… well it isn’t as egregious as London. New York seems a bit removed from the other teams by being up North but it isn’t really that big of a deal, it’s a huge market and they deserve good football.
ISFL NSFC
I have no guesses to what NSFC stands for, either. North South Football Club? I’m not creative enough for this. I’m once again going to look at the teams I deem “acceptable.” Chicago, Colorado, Baltimore, Philadelphia. They are all in premier locations where other sports co-exist, there are fan bases, and the travel ain’t too bad. I did have to do some slight research on Sarasota and Yellowknife. Yellowknife is a surprise for me. I always think it’s the city that’s in the Yukon, but then I make myself think it’s the state where there’s a supervolcano and geysers. Turns out, it’s neither. This is the only discernible Canadian team in the entirety of the ISFL and DSFL and it’s in the Northwest Territories. Admittedly a weird location, since it’s one of the territories which are somewhat removed from the better known provinces, but it is still a welcome addition. Then there’s Sarasota. They are a Florida team which actually exists in Florida, unlike the damned Honolulu Hahalua. Things are a lot more streamlined in this conference with the teams following up the east coast, though Yellowknife is in Western Canada if my limited geographical knowledge serves me right. So, kind of weird on Yellowknife but the conference is well set up.
The one team I haven’t much is Berlin. Much like there being a London team, Berlin? In Europe? I have nothing against this but again, it sees weird that the U.S.’ neighbours have just as much representation as the folks across the pond. And the thing is, this is a very negative thing for the one existing Canadian team. They are more west than any current team in their conference and they have to work out ways to fly all the way to Berlin? I don’t even know if Yellowknife has an airport big enough to handle planes advanced enough for that kind of travel! I promised myself I wouldn’t get mad…
Potential Locations
After looking at where the current ISFL and DSFL teams reside, we can get to looking for the future of the league--the feature of a league in Canada. Not to be rude to my European friends over in Berlin, but their location throws a massive wrench in the travel of one division that is not seen in another. Meanwhile, there are plenty of locations that can support football operations within Canada. It’s simply unfair that other teams have to say they are playing “Soccer” every time they visit the Fire Salamanders, so they should come on over to Canada.
Toronto
The mecca of Canada (whatever that means). The largest city in the entire country, they are host to multiple sports teams and currently have a football field set up for the ISFL to make a swift entry. They have a large potential fanbase to support teams through thick and thin, and they can easily fit in with the NSFC and their east-coast bias.
Regina
One of the many, many great prairie cities found in central Canada. While Regina is found west, closest to Alberta, there are many redeeming qualities about this city surrounded by barren, wheaty landscapes. They are a hub for entertainment. One time I went down to Regina to see Shrek the Musical. No other city can say they have got me to come see such prestigious plays in person, so that is a point in favour of Regina. Also working for Regina is the fanbase name potential, or even the name potential. I’d recommend the teams drop the “fire” moniker before coming into Regina, but there are a lot nicer combos available. Finally, it’s fuckin Regina. There is nothing else to do so there will be plenty of support.
Calgary
@Amidships Calgary is the real capital of Alberta and I won’t accept otherwise. They have a storied history of being cow-related, as well as taking teams from other cities. It would be a natural fit for them to be a relocation candidate for a European team. Uhh… they also have oil? There ain’t many redeeming qualities for Calgary but they outweigh whatever Edmonton has. They deserve a team!
Vancouver
The last team I want to throw out there would have plenty of ASFC potential. Presuming Honolulu is the Hawaii team, and not in Florida, I think it’s safe to say that having a coastal city with a booming population would be ‘uge in terms of market, as well as travel to Hawaii. They have a diverse population, and a history of being very passionate for their sports teams. I can’t see how this relationship wouldn’t work out for the league!
My Suggestions
I think there’s a pretty clear path the ISFL, and DSFL can take in moving things forward with representation in Canada. I am throwing the ideas of expansion out the window since my grasp on ‘league pulse’ is limited in nature. I can identify major issues travel wise in all but one conference (the DSFL South) and moving things to Canada would fix literally all of them.
First off, let’s move Yellowknife. While I appreciate what they do, they simply do not fit in in their current situation. Moving them doesn’t necessarily mean making them change cities, but they are going to have to join the Western teams in the ASFC. It only makes sense, right? They are much further west than New York, and their travel schedule would fit their size better if they were more consolidated with the other teams in the ASFC as they wouldn’t have to travel overseas (literally). If they were to relocate, I think the Regina Wraiths or the Vancouver Chomp would have alliteration, or power behind their names. I am inclined to say they should move to Vancouver (travel) and find a better name than the Chomp.
For the NSFC, we already have it semi-established that New York is going to be replacing Yellowknife as they are an east-coast franchise that simply fits better with the teams in the NSFC. Beyond that, sorry Berlin, but you’re coming to Ontario. Where in Ontario is up for debate, I of course lean towards Toronto and it’s wide audience reach and past organizational successes, but Ottawa, Wood Buffalo, or Hamilton are strong choices. This creates a much calmer league travel schedule as the NSFC is very centralized on the east coast, and the ASFC is mostly west coast now with Hawaii off in the distance.
The DSFL North is a conference I struggle to want to make changes to. I think they are in a solid spot as far as “oddities” go; having a professional football team overseas seems great for fan drive, but it also seems quite rude to pull university students out of their programs and have them play in Europe in order to have a shot at making the big leagues. This is where a team moving to Regina makes sense. The keep their status as a ‘location oddity’ as now fans can use clever rhymes in marketing and team merch sales go way up, but now they are in the #TrueNorth and have much closer proximity to the rest of the league. Sorry London, but you’re coming to Regina, or the Canadian London. Either one works, really.
Football is a hard enough sport as is. Players get injured, practices are grueling, and games are somehow worse. Adding on intense travel schedules where players are forced to sit down for long periods of time is simply unnecessary. While the league may benefit from having teams overseas in terms of overall reach, the overall impact it has on athletes endurance and health is not worth it at all.
TL;DR, ISFL hate Canada, only one team? Not even anything below the territories? Move various teams to Vancouver, Regina, and Toronto. Profit.
Also new format for conferences; New York and Yellowknife swap conferences, Berlin and London come to Canada.
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