Fading Away

[Faded]

To be honest, I thought I could probably recover from that punishment. But after witnessing calls for the ban hammer, I had to think for a second. How badly did I fuck up? 

After careful consideration, I fucked up bad.

To be frank, I didn't consider a multitude of things when I did what I did. I was a blind fool that thought I could get away from it, and I never considered stopping. Shame on me. 

Like a job, if you fuck up somewhere, others will hear about it elsewhere. What I effectively did was destroy the place then leave while telling the whole staff to fuck off. Now, I can never get a job. 

I always wanted to leave this place in good standing. This was my family and I thought that I could leave on the wrong side of regression after wrapping up a contract and then go full steam ahead into a new career. Seems like a neat way to end a career in this league, right? But nope, I trashed the place (to stick with the metaphor). 

Everyone probably has their own opinions of me now, most likely all bad. And I completely understand that. At this point, I feel like public enemy number one. 

I effectively killed off my own career by deciding to do the things I did. 

To all that I knew, thank you for being with me and guiding me to the best path I could possibly head down. To all the GMs over me, to the teammates that were hype during games, and hell, to the league that I helped to run, I thank you for being with me every step of the way. 

And to the part of me that told me to do what I did?

Go fuck yourself.

         faded#6048, Nicholas Ayers, #42.

[siddhus]

Wait no

[SDCore]

You are young, use this as a chance to grow. As one of the people thinking this shoulda been suspendable, is not an attack on you or your character, but used a tool to teach and grow from. I'm sorry you put yourself in this position, but I don't hate you or think negative of you. You made a choice and it was a stupid one, but you appear to understand that now. I truly hope you do. I speak for myself, but don't be so hard on yourself and use this as a tool to better yourself.

Everything will be alright in the end. At the end of the day this is a game, take it as such.

[slate]

This was a pretty bad fuck up but at least for me personally not one that would make me blacklist you forever. I appreciate the admission and the reflection, and if you do decide to rejoin the league at some point I think you'll find that the place is less trashed than it seems in the heat of the moment. Best of luck with everything.

[Big Edd]

RIP BOZO

[Crunk]

You are definitely not public enemy number one.

I'd say who that is, but we all know he still searches his name on the forums to this day.

[Starboy]

Damn. Still hoping that you take the advice others have offered in this so far to learn and grow. Definitelt always enjoyed the times we got to hang out and chat so I’m sure everyone would be willing to look past this in the future. Best of luck

[slothfacekilla]

"I'm sorry I got caught"

[zaynzk]

Hope u come back one day; it was a mistake yes; but plenty of people have done stuff just as bad or worse and were able to still find a spot in the league. This is a learning expierence and i hope u realize that like all good familys we will forgive u eventually

[Air Crou]

Use this to grow. But always remember. There is no perfect crime. You always leave tracks. Look into the "Gentlemen of Cali" story. It tells so many things.