Hey y’all! Welcome to the always anticipated Laser Mock! But wait, I’m not Laser. Well we’re doing things a little weird this season. All the picks are Laser’s (so much more likely to be right than any picks I would make), however the writeups will be mine. I’ll try to figure out the reasoning behind each pick or perhaps share why I think a pick will be incorrect, but I’m not going to change any. Without further ado let’s get mocking.
1. pick Sherriff Woody - LB - TomHanks
Number 1 overall is looking awfully familiar. Once again it goes to the Baltimore Hawks, though it was pretty close this season. Luckily for the mockers Baltimore doesn’t seem to be overly secretive in who they like at 1 overall. This season TomHanks has been getting a lot of buzz for this pick and it’s easy to see why. LB is a crazy impactful position on any team and they’re the DSFL commissioner. That means you’re nearly guaranteed to have a max earner, good user, and impactful player. Can’t ask for anything more here.
2. pick Miles Weperom - S - MMFLEX
There’s max earning and then there’s whatever the heck MMFLEX is doing. They lead the class in TPE by a wide margin considering it’s only been one season. While that TPE won’t make a huge difference down the road, it does indicate that MMFLEX is a max earning who knows their way around. They’ve also put out some really solid media pieces. This also fills a major hole in the roster for the Hahalua. Unless Hahalua plays a CB at safety, this could be an instant callup simple to get 2 safeties on the roster
3. pick Ioe Torrent - DE - Skindog44
Chicago is tough to mock in the first round because they have so many picks and so many players they could use. Laser has them picking up a great user in Skindog with their first pick, securing the future of their Dline. Ioe has burst onto the scene and racked up a 50m bank account in their very first season. That kinda drive makes them a steal for any team.
4. pick Nick L. Back - TE - Zoone16
I hate when a team has back to back picks. Makes mocking impossible. Laser has Chicago picking up Nick L. Back here to fill their TE hole. It’s a need that *has* to be addressed ASAP and Nick would be a great user to do that with. However this is where I’m gunna mock Laser a little bit. (He gave me permission to just change things but this is more fun and pays better). The Butchers will be required to pick up their GM in the second round. Dee Walt (user TheCC) is a tight end. While 2 TE sets are a thing I doubt Chicago will want to lock down 2 stellar TEs early in the draft when there’s other great talent on the board still.
5. TRADE to
->
9oa
23oa
->
5oa
Only Laser is bold enough to do trades in a mock. Draft trades are bound to happen but predicting them is so damn difficult. I certainly don’t have any reason to believe this one won’t happen. If it doesn Laser is truly the king of mocks.
5. pick Squidward Tentacles - WR - terriblehippo
Hippo has a lot of connections with NOLA and HO so it would make sense that they trade up for them. It’s a position of need for them and having 3 solid WRs is more important than ever in the ISFL. The question will be if it’s worth it to draft a WR so high when there 6 capped receivers from the S30 class already. That’s a lot of depth at the position.
6. pick Vincent Sharpei Jr. - WR - Muford
Another receiver goes. It would make sense that one of the key Minnesota players follows Russ to SJS. They’re going to need another ASAP and the connection is there. However, I’d be willing to bet Muford ends up in Chicago somewhere in the first round. Perhaps pick 4. SJS could go with the other Minny WR rookie, Mason Malone perhaps.
7. pick Konstantin Selich - DT - Tomen
People that know me know that I don’t like to keep information locked away, and prefer things to be available to the whole league when possible. That’s why I don’t feel too bad about revealing OCO’s draft strategy here. (Keep in mind these are Laser’s picks). So I’m willing to say that OCO is almost certainly just going to trade out of this draft entirely. If we can’t find any takers for that we’ll probably go with Sloth at kicker here. I’ve been testing some two kicker strats that look real promising. Did you know there’s no rule against playing a kicker at any other position?
8. pick Jason Waterfalls - WR - JayWhy42
Wraith’s get a steal down at pick 8, with the 3rd highest earning player and highest TPE wide receiver. While the Yellowknife receiving corps is pretty solid right now, they won’t stay young forever. They may be thinking about securing a future WR1 right off the bat. Alternatively I could see them going Domino's Pizzaman here. Lower TPE but I think the need at DT is greater, and the depth lower at that position in this draft.
9. pick Dominos Pizzaman - DT - MattBake12
Speaking of who, Dominos Pizzaman comes off the board at pick 9 to Austin. It’s a bit tough to make a strong case for this one but Laser probably has some galaxy brain reason or intel to justify it. Austin has a good few young and earning DTs already, and I doubt a position switch would push them to Austin this high in the draft. Maybe they just really like pizza?
10. pick Fuzzy George - S - goodfortunecoffee
Fuzzy Coffee! This user has been a big part of the community for a long time and is a great locker room addition. They’re also the second highest earning safety in this class. Unlike my class of S28, good safeties seem few and far between this class. Colorado does have 2 safeties already who aren’t particularly old. Nickelback seems to be well covered already. I haven’t spoken with fuzzy or the Yeti but perhaps this could be a position switch candidate.
11. TRADE to
->
11oa
->
16oa
S31 R1
Another trade :eyes: This one is interesting too. Hahalua would need to have someone they really like here to justify it I think. Butchers already had two 1sts and extra picks coming later this draft, so wouldn’t mind trading for draft capital next season.
11. pick Jason Garciaparra - CB- Starboy
So who’s worth this trade for Hahalua? Jason Garciaparra! Starboy ended their last career in Honolulu and seemed to like it there. If the feeling is mutual this pick makes a lot of sense. They don’t need a CB right now but this would definitely secure the future for that position. Of course, that’s assuming no position switch is in the cards.
12. pick Bernie Sanders - OL - caltroit_red_flames
The Sailfish have the most OL in the league, so it makes sense to draft the king of OL here in the first round. If Sarasota is committed to keeping an all human line then they’ll need to be proactive in grabbing them any chance they get. Bernie is looking to have a long hopefully award filled career so definitely a great pickup.
13. pick Mason Malone - WR - KenitohMenara
Another capped WR gets taken, this time to New York. The Silverbacks *have* to nail this pick as they have no other picks until round 5. Malone has already had a stellar DSFL career and is earning their pants off as the 8th highest TPE in the class. New York will want someone to step into the WR3 role very soon, so perhaps that will be Malone.
14. pick Calvin Hobbes - WR - Krazko
To cap off the first round we have another team securing their wide receiver future. Looking back at the mock now there are a lot of wide receivers but there is a lot of need for them right now. Berlin’s incredible WR room has been a huge part of their success this season. But they old. If Berlin wants to replicate this season I do think they have to pick up a max earning WR this draft. It appears they’ll get that in Calvin Hobbes.
Phew mock over. Now I kinda wish I did my own.... Anyway, my opinion is this is a really solid mock. I’m guessing 5 correct picks and 11/14 of these players will go in the first round. If enough other people publish some mocks in the next few days I’ll do another mocking the mockers media so get guessin’.
1. pick Sherriff Woody - LB - TomHanks
Number 1 overall is looking awfully familiar. Once again it goes to the Baltimore Hawks, though it was pretty close this season. Luckily for the mockers Baltimore doesn’t seem to be overly secretive in who they like at 1 overall. This season TomHanks has been getting a lot of buzz for this pick and it’s easy to see why. LB is a crazy impactful position on any team and they’re the DSFL commissioner. That means you’re nearly guaranteed to have a max earner, good user, and impactful player. Can’t ask for anything more here.
2. pick Miles Weperom - S - MMFLEX
There’s max earning and then there’s whatever the heck MMFLEX is doing. They lead the class in TPE by a wide margin considering it’s only been one season. While that TPE won’t make a huge difference down the road, it does indicate that MMFLEX is a max earning who knows their way around. They’ve also put out some really solid media pieces. This also fills a major hole in the roster for the Hahalua. Unless Hahalua plays a CB at safety, this could be an instant callup simple to get 2 safeties on the roster
3. pick Ioe Torrent - DE - Skindog44
Chicago is tough to mock in the first round because they have so many picks and so many players they could use. Laser has them picking up a great user in Skindog with their first pick, securing the future of their Dline. Ioe has burst onto the scene and racked up a 50m bank account in their very first season. That kinda drive makes them a steal for any team.
4. pick Nick L. Back - TE - Zoone16
I hate when a team has back to back picks. Makes mocking impossible. Laser has Chicago picking up Nick L. Back here to fill their TE hole. It’s a need that *has* to be addressed ASAP and Nick would be a great user to do that with. However this is where I’m gunna mock Laser a little bit. (He gave me permission to just change things but this is more fun and pays better). The Butchers will be required to pick up their GM in the second round. Dee Walt (user TheCC) is a tight end. While 2 TE sets are a thing I doubt Chicago will want to lock down 2 stellar TEs early in the draft when there’s other great talent on the board still.
5. TRADE to
->
9oa
23oa
->
5oa
Only Laser is bold enough to do trades in a mock. Draft trades are bound to happen but predicting them is so damn difficult. I certainly don’t have any reason to believe this one won’t happen. If it doesn Laser is truly the king of mocks.
5. pick Squidward Tentacles - WR - terriblehippo
Hippo has a lot of connections with NOLA and HO so it would make sense that they trade up for them. It’s a position of need for them and having 3 solid WRs is more important than ever in the ISFL. The question will be if it’s worth it to draft a WR so high when there 6 capped receivers from the S30 class already. That’s a lot of depth at the position.
6. pick Vincent Sharpei Jr. - WR - Muford
Another receiver goes. It would make sense that one of the key Minnesota players follows Russ to SJS. They’re going to need another ASAP and the connection is there. However, I’d be willing to bet Muford ends up in Chicago somewhere in the first round. Perhaps pick 4. SJS could go with the other Minny WR rookie, Mason Malone perhaps.
7. pick Konstantin Selich - DT - Tomen
People that know me know that I don’t like to keep information locked away, and prefer things to be available to the whole league when possible. That’s why I don’t feel too bad about revealing OCO’s draft strategy here. (Keep in mind these are Laser’s picks). So I’m willing to say that OCO is almost certainly just going to trade out of this draft entirely. If we can’t find any takers for that we’ll probably go with Sloth at kicker here. I’ve been testing some two kicker strats that look real promising. Did you know there’s no rule against playing a kicker at any other position?
8. pick Jason Waterfalls - WR - JayWhy42
Wraith’s get a steal down at pick 8, with the 3rd highest earning player and highest TPE wide receiver. While the Yellowknife receiving corps is pretty solid right now, they won’t stay young forever. They may be thinking about securing a future WR1 right off the bat. Alternatively I could see them going Domino's Pizzaman here. Lower TPE but I think the need at DT is greater, and the depth lower at that position in this draft.
9. pick Dominos Pizzaman - DT - MattBake12
Speaking of who, Dominos Pizzaman comes off the board at pick 9 to Austin. It’s a bit tough to make a strong case for this one but Laser probably has some galaxy brain reason or intel to justify it. Austin has a good few young and earning DTs already, and I doubt a position switch would push them to Austin this high in the draft. Maybe they just really like pizza?
10. pick Fuzzy George - S - goodfortunecoffee
Fuzzy Coffee! This user has been a big part of the community for a long time and is a great locker room addition. They’re also the second highest earning safety in this class. Unlike my class of S28, good safeties seem few and far between this class. Colorado does have 2 safeties already who aren’t particularly old. Nickelback seems to be well covered already. I haven’t spoken with fuzzy or the Yeti but perhaps this could be a position switch candidate.
11. TRADE to
->
11oa
->
16oa
S31 R1
Another trade :eyes: This one is interesting too. Hahalua would need to have someone they really like here to justify it I think. Butchers already had two 1sts and extra picks coming later this draft, so wouldn’t mind trading for draft capital next season.
11. pick Jason Garciaparra - CB- Starboy
So who’s worth this trade for Hahalua? Jason Garciaparra! Starboy ended their last career in Honolulu and seemed to like it there. If the feeling is mutual this pick makes a lot of sense. They don’t need a CB right now but this would definitely secure the future for that position. Of course, that’s assuming no position switch is in the cards.
12. pick Bernie Sanders - OL - caltroit_red_flames
The Sailfish have the most OL in the league, so it makes sense to draft the king of OL here in the first round. If Sarasota is committed to keeping an all human line then they’ll need to be proactive in grabbing them any chance they get. Bernie is looking to have a long hopefully award filled career so definitely a great pickup.
13. pick Mason Malone - WR - KenitohMenara
Another capped WR gets taken, this time to New York. The Silverbacks *have* to nail this pick as they have no other picks until round 5. Malone has already had a stellar DSFL career and is earning their pants off as the 8th highest TPE in the class. New York will want someone to step into the WR3 role very soon, so perhaps that will be Malone.
14. pick Calvin Hobbes - WR - Krazko
To cap off the first round we have another team securing their wide receiver future. Looking back at the mock now there are a lot of wide receivers but there is a lot of need for them right now. Berlin’s incredible WR room has been a huge part of their success this season. But they old. If Berlin wants to replicate this season I do think they have to pick up a max earning WR this draft. It appears they’ll get that in Calvin Hobbes.
Phew mock over. Now I kinda wish I did my own.... Anyway, my opinion is this is a really solid mock. I’m guessing 5 correct picks and 11/14 of these players will go in the first round. If enough other people publish some mocks in the next few days I’ll do another mocking the mockers media so get guessin’.