Usually, I am the type of person to step away from the spotlight and let my teammates get all the shine they deserve. But there are some exceptions where I have to be the captain of the ship. So the coach in me has to take charge whenever it comes to teaching a sport or any sports-related workshops. So when it comes to this point task, I'm the one advocating for myself to be the top dog on this assignment. I feel like my sports knowledge and experience is superior to ninety percent of the entire ISFL roster pool. Therefore, it is expected for me to be somewhat cocky, downright arrogant on this topic.
If I was still in Austin, I would probably have traveled down south, but since relocating to New York, I will travel to the central part of the world and visit Africa. Football as a whole is still unpopular to participate in competitively outside of the United States, but that doesn't mean there isn't potential and hidden talent out there in other portions of the world. Africa as a continent often gets underrepresented in the international stage despite being one of the largest talent pools on the planet.
My job is to simply introduce another fun alternative for the children and adults to enjoy. My first day consists of a celebratory welcome: providing all the attendees a new pair of cleats and turf shoes, a buffet watching a highlight reel of the major timeline in American Football, and a brief seminar explaining the rules and positions of the game.
On day two, I'll have players split into a group, and coaches into another. Coaches will be taught the principles of building a team, basic schemes, motivational techniques, and situational breakdowns on Madden. And they'll end the day playing in a Madden tournament with what they have bee taught. The players will rotate with positional coaches and learn the common drills, exercises, techniques, and skills each position needs and utilizes. At the end of their day, they'll play 7-on-7 scrimmages.
On the final day, the coaches will be teamed up and assigned rosters and we'll conduct a tourney. The players and coaches will utilize everything they have learned to win it all and earn a week vacation to New York and a luxury suite at a Silverbacks game. Before leaving, we'll have one last big party and everyone will be gifted a bookbag full of school supplies and some literature and a duffel bag full of athletic wear and a ball, because we still stress education equally to athletics.
The Chicago Butchers got a call from an international phone number that nobody on the team recognized. There was not any clues as to who could be calling, outside of the thick Australian accent in the voicemail saying a new youth football team had been trying to get started in Melbourne that wanted someone from the Butchers that could spend some time before the season began to actually help them get started. At first, the Butchers were weirded out that they would get the call, but then Jason Garciaparra walked into the office to ask about contract deals. Before the team even bothered to ask why they got the call, they informed Jason that he would be teaching football out in Australia to young athletes. Jason had no issue with the long distance trip and packed his bags to take a plane later in the day. However, the Melbourne youth team would soon see the downside of getting Jason Garciaparra who mostly would teach the basic fundamentals but only after watching The Departed and taking quizzes on what happened during the movie. Then came impressions of the movie while getting them to train defensive sides of the ball that only ended up confusing the youth players more. When Jason went back home, the Melbourne coach realized he would have a lot more training to do when his players were hunting the rat amongst themselves.
I’m so tired. I don’t even know what country I’m in. Who sent me here? Did I agree to this? What does this have to do with football?
It’s pitch black, and I can hear noises in the distance. Someone grabs my arm and pulls me forward. Half asleep, I walk. I walk for what feels like forever. Finally, we arrive. Well, we stop. The noise is deafening, but I still can’t see anything.
Someone hits the lights. Those old school lights from your high school gym. The ones that take forever to light up. I welcome it as my eyes adjust.
I see shadows. People? Players? I’m not sure. My eyes are still adjusting.
Finally, it’s clear. I see everything. And everything is looking at me.
I say everything because most of these are not human. Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith approach.
Football has become an intergalactic sensation, and it’s up to me to educate the universe. No big deal, right?
So, we get to the fundamentals. The rules, formations, it all comes easy to them. Advanced schemes are not difficult.
But, there’s one area where no one is up to snuff: the trenches.
And that goes to show you, no one is better than Plop.
Variants of football are played across the world. Canada, Germany, Australia, England, and New Zealand, to name a few, have American football, or “gridiron,” leagues and play with a variety of rule sets. The New Orleans Second Line are committed to the growth of gridiron football around the world as a member of the International Simulation Football League. Due to New Orleans’ French heritage, the Second Line have decided to focus on French-speaking countries in their outreach efforts, as most gridiron football leagues happen in English-speaking countries. Coaches, staff, and players will travel in the offseason to run football camps and clinics for children and teenagers who are interested in learning more about the sport. Linebackers Vincent Jones Jr, Sir Peter Jackson, and Busch Light will teach clinics in Canada. Defensive ends Medicinal Toblerone and Azarius Ranger, safety Steven Wadham, and kicker Taipan Pete will be touring France and Switzerland running football camps. Cornerback Andrew Witten, quarterback Ben Slothlisberger, and wide receiver Ed Barker will be traveling to Haiti for their workshops. The players will help run drills, talk about leadership and sportsmanship, teach kids about the rules of the game, and work on fitness and strength training. These popular football players will also contribute to the communities they visit through a variety of charity and service projects.
When the talk about going international hit the news of the team, kicker Levy Tate was the first one everyone on the team thought would jump on the opportunity, and boy did she. She has a nickname of “Sloths” because of how much she loves sloths, so she immediately offered to visit and help out Costa Rica. One hundred percent to help the local American football teams improve and definitely not to see sloths in person… Unphased by her bad and transparent reasoning, the coaches and her teammates all let her go on her trip, and she was thrilled come vacay day.
Of course, it wasn’t all sloths and trees, she did have to actually coach, and that was an experience in itself. Naturally, the kicker and punter specialist was not very adept at coaching any other aspect of the game. So to help the young players understand the drills better, she tried to use analogies. Sloth analogies.
“So to intercept the ball, what you will want to do is to track it down and then jump under it. You want to make sure you jump real high, though! As high as sloths can climb! And they can climb really tall trees despite their lethargic tendencies. So make sure you jump that high! But don’t fall from the tree, you’ll die just like the sloths that fall asleep and fall from the tree.”
Come the end of the week trip, many of the young players complained that they didn’t learn anything. But they did enjoy the field trip to the jungle and to see the sloths in person. So that was a win I guess?