*Season 31 DSFL Mock Draft

**unconfident**

Who doesn’t love mock drafts? It’s draft season and right about now you’re gonna be seeing just about everyone with an ISFL bank account and access to a word processor giving out their thoughts on who’s gonna be drafted where in this draft. And I wanted to be one of them, but I recently accepted the chance to join the Austin Copperheads War Room, so that’s not gonna happen since I sadly have privileged information. However, I am not in Bondi’s war room, so instead I will do something even more stupid. Try to create a DSFL mock draft (of the first round). I am a minor league GM over in PBE, and while I’ve only been around for one draft, if I tried to mock that one I’m fairly certain I’d have done terribly. The mix of wanting to get recreates who you know will earn or taking flyers newer users who might be great earners and big activity players one day. There's a lot of moving parts, it’s very hard to predict, and I’m gonna try exactly that.

Disclaimer: I am a casual football fan and both don’t know much about football strategy itself, or pay too much attention to what works/what doesn’t work in the sim. This is all my opinion and it is very likely to be wrong.

#1 Overall: London Royals

Now, the London Royals did not have a good season last year. This is a secret to no one at all. They won exactly one game, finished the season on a 10 game losing streak, scored the least points in the DSFL, allowed the most, and were generally a joke on the field. And yet, I’m sure they’re not too salty because that LR is fucking bumping. These dudes know how to create an active and welcoming environment. In terms of team needs, there’s a lot, it would probably be a harder question to answer what this team doesn’t need. However, they have a very good quarterback in Dustin Parmalee, and the Wraiths probably arent gonna look to call him up any time soon. So, I have the Royals taking Wide Receiver Troy Barnes. The Royals need weapons desperately, and Barnes has proven himself reliable as his last player went 11 max earning seasons, and is likely to find himself in the hall of fame with that player. Barnes is a wide receiver, and by the time the season begins he’ll very likely already have enough TPE to slide right into the #2 receiver role, and at least help the Royals not be the worst offense in the DSFL. Could look at running back too, but I think receiver will help out more long term.

#2 Overall: Norfolk Seawolves

The Seawolves hold the #2 pick, and it's not like they had much better of a season than London. 3-11, their offense was substantially better than London, scoring about 60 more points all season, but their defense was on a similar level of bad, allowing just 9 points less than Londons, at 463 points allowed. In terms of team needs, I think they really need a defensive piece here. Norfolk already has some great young offensive players, including 3 receivers and 2 running backs, all of which are good earners, by the start of next season those players will have a lot more TPE and will be able to wreak havoc as a team. So, I’m going to go with the first newgen of my mock draft, and say Norfolk will be selecting Defensive Tackle Zephyr “Tater” GreyWolf. First of all, the wolf thing is pretty convenient and would work great. Secondly, the Seawolves seem to have a noticeable whole on the inside of their defensive line, and could use a second player on the inside. Zephyr has released some media for that sweet money money already, and in fact, was already on Norfolk! Norfolk picked the dude up as a waiver pickup during the past season, so why not run it back with them, especially when they will be a future defensive star. That is right, you heard it here first.

#3 Overall: Bondi ‘Myrtle’ Beach Buccaneers

My Buccaneers. The team that claimed me off waivers back during season 29 and allowed me to immediately jump into the #1 tight end spot during our pretty abysmal season last year. This season, while we own third overall, was not that bad. 6-8, nearly split even on point differential, mostly because our offense was excellent. However, the defense did disappoint at times and thats likely where Bondi is going to look to improve... is what I thought until I remembered that Dexter Zaylren is being called up to Berlin for next season and now there is a quarterback sized hole that needs filling. What’s crazy here is that there are 3 quarterback prospects they could pick up at #3, and honestly probably not go wrong with any of them. However, the move for Bondi Beach is going to be Tobias Worthington III. Worthington had a decent career with his last player, and spent the end of this season with Bondi Beach as a defensive end. He has since made the swap, and in my opinion the cards all align here perfectly for Worthington to replace Zaylren, and KC15 is in addition a great user who will fit in great to try and lead Bondi to success.

#4 Overall: Kansas City Coyotes

The Coyotes could have found themselves in the playoffs this season had they not tied a game with Portland, but instead they find themselves at #4 overall. The Coyotes allowed the second fewest points in all of the DSFL last season but I would attribute that more to the strength of their linebacking corps and defensive line as beyond cornerback Tessie Garciapara the secondary looks quite weak. The Coyotes have a few options here, they could look to bolster a slightly lackluster offense, or go all in on the defense and make their opponents attempts to score points on the field a living nightmare. Which is why I have Kansas City taking former Birddog Safety LaDamien Beck. First of all, the Rob Lowe picture cracks me up every time I see it, so major bonus points to you my guy. Also, dude has been crushing it on the earning front, as he has produced some media and done every available task available since joining, including ultimus week god bless your soul Beck leads all season 31 prospects in TPE, and is also another guy who could be a star. For KC though, he will slide right into their defense and help out an already very competent defensive group.

#5 Overall: Portland Pythons

The first playoff team of the draft is the Pythons. The Pythons were first round exits this season, and weren’t destroyed by the Grey Ducks, but it wasn’t exactly close either. The Pythons do something I’ve never seen and honestly didnt think anyone would want to do, and that is run 2 quarterback sets. Panda Kyle and Wendell Sailor both man the quarterback position for Portland, and they kind of need another receiving weapon. The problem is that the receiving talent in this class isn’t too strong like last seasons was, and this could make for a difficult choice for Pythons management. With that said, I have the Pythons taking a flyer on Wide Receiver Modern Nazgûl. I’m just gonna call him Gravy. Gravy flamed out on his last player, but has returned to the ISFL saying that he now understands the commitment required to be successful, and is ready to make said commitment. And why not trust him? Pythons need weapons for their two headed quarterback dragon, might as well take a chance on getting a potentially very good one. Gravy has speed and will be able to play either inside or outside for Portland, who will look to run it back this season.

#6 Overall: Dallas Birddogs

The Birddogs had a very good, in fact the best offense of anyone in the DSFL last season, but couldn’t score when it counted as they lost by 1 single point to the Luchadores in the playoffs last season. With that in find, the easiest pick I’ll have to make in the entirety of this will be linebacker Kalam Mekhar. Mekhars user, ZootTX, is the former GM of the Birddogs and stepped down pretty recently, I think the Birddogs will look to bring him back. The Birddogs defense wasnt too great this season, ranking in the bottom half and Mekhar would be able to improve their pass rush and play a very good linebacker for them, in addition to having connections to Dallas already.

#7 Overall: Tijuana Luchadores

Tijuana this season were… pretty average. 8-6 but their point differential was just +6, they really weren’t wiping the floor with anyone offensively or defensively, as they finished middling in both categories. With all that said they still only lost the Ultimini by 3 points to the consensus best team in the DSFL, and could make another run at it this season. Their current quarterback IsHe Invisible is aging out of the DSFL this season and Tijuana is gonna look to replace him as soon as possible since they still have a great core that is ready to contend again. I have them taking former Luchadore, and quarterback Live LaughLove. LaughLove’s previous player earned very well and was a part of the apparently legendary season 22 ISFL draft class. Dude is also the former GM of Tijuana, so if they passed him up that would be just tragic.

#8 Overall: Minnesota Grey Ducks

The last pick of this article, and would you look at that, a Minnesota sports team not choking in the playoffs. Good job Grey Ducks, making the Minnesota faithful proud. In terms of actual football related things, this team is extremely stacked. They will probably get hit hard by callups because that’s the nature of developmental leagues, but dude I can’t find a whole here. Anyone they pick up will realistically be a depth piece for them. However, the Grey Ducks have made sure to get themselves some human offensive lineman, and it’s clearly working. I think they’ll keep it up and select the beegest of them all himself, offensive lineman Beeg Beeg Yoshi. Yoshi is more famous over in the SHL, but he is still a known commodity in sim leagues and will be a great LR addition and good earner for them. He will play a very good offensive line as he continues to earn, and while I will miss him on the Buccaneers he would do great for Minnesota if they choose to pick him up.