WSBL Affiliate (same username)
Oh boy. With a nefarious past (and present) like Bender's, this reporter could be talking about anything really. For starters it could be that Bender drinks and smokes cigars on the field during games. But this is well known knowledge and he has already been fined several times for that. hmmm what else could this mysterious dirt be? Bender recently flirted with the mafia's Donbot's wife and got kicked out of a casino because of it. No, that's too mild to be real dirt. Maybe it's that Bender once slapped his general manager because he chose to put up a statue commemorating somebody not named Bender. Nah, that can't be it either. The GM deserved it. Oh, I know! The dirt on Bender is probably that he owns and operates a football making factory in Mexico that "employs" children. Wait no, that's probably legal down there. Ok, ok I got it. Bender has also been skimming small amounts of money from each of his teammates totaling $4 million a season for the past 4 seasons. Yeah, this is definitely it. The release of this information could jeopardize Bender's relationships with his teammates. This cannot be allowed to happen. Upon hearing about this potential leak Bender would go straight to the reporter's office and smash his left knee with a baseball bat as a warning. If this information gets out, the other knee would have the same fate. Following this incident, the reporter immediately retracted the story. What a chump
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When the reporter told Beniri that there has been recent news about his past mistakes coming up, the 7 foot tall soon-to-be offensive lineman knew exactly what the reporter was talking about. The story starts back in high school when Beniri was (and still is) absolutely obsessed with pancakes whether it be homemade pancakes or pancakes from restaurants. Due to this addiction to pancakes, in 10th grade, Beniri decided to try all the pancakes available in his hometown, but he did not have the money to supplement this grande venture. Therefore, to help with his financial situation, he came up with a grande plan to pretend to be a food critic and request for the pancakes for free. At first, the owners were a little skeptical, but gave him the food for free anyways, but eventually people started to catch on and that's when the news story broke. "High schooler pretends to be food critic" was the headline and throughout that year because of it Beniri had to help each restaurant wash dishes for compensation. It was close to sticking to his record, but because of his community service it was alright. However, the dirt remains in terms of Beniri being a dine-and-dasher, so having thing story break would make restaurants a lot more cautious when he is around.
I think once the question is asked I'll have what feels like a decade of silence before I respond to the reporter. I'd first state that I'm only there so I don't get fined. The requirement to attend press conferences is long overdue to be abolished. Now I realize that I can't just ignore the question at this point. I'm know around the league as being a relaxed and enjoyable player. No need to ruin that over this one questions. I knew I had no where to run with this one....
Honestly, it was kind of nice being able to get this off my chest. I was sick of us having to hide it. My romantic relationship with Sid is something I've been wanting to share for awhile now. It's not that we are scared to love each other but with our positions on the team we didn't know how everyone else would react. I do hope this helps clear up my 5 year 70 million dollar contract we are in the process of signing. I just hope the team is still able to respect me and know I earned this spot. I don't want them to think that Sid's love for me makes my role something I didn't earn. I can't wait for this chapter in HON and how love will motivate our team. I plan to purpose at halftime of our Ultiimus this season. So team... Let's do this for LOVE! And to the report who broke this story. Thank you, and you a creep.
First I want to say this most definitely did not happen and I would never harm an otter. It is alleged that during a late night practice at the otters training facility that we ran out of football's. All the footballs we had left were deflated and we couldn't find an air pump to fill the ball back up. I disprove this with the fact of how would I lose all the football's if I never miss? Anyway inside the otters facility, actual otters live amongst the players and staff. As it's told I apparently saw an otter cross past me and in a act of desperation picked up the otter and placed it onto my kicking tee. From there I may or may not of kicked the otter forty yards wide left. Again, In never miss so how would I miss wide left, especially with such an easy thing to kick like an otter. From there me and some teammates begun running plays with otters rather than footballs. We all love otters very much and would never do such an awful thing to those animals who conveniently fit in my kicking tee. Apparently I did similar things but with dogs during my time with the Dallas Birddogs and encouraged by GM's. So if this were to be true (it's not) it's everyone else's fault not my own. I most certainly would never kick an otter nor a dog is my closing thoughts.
10-04-2021, 02:27 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-04-2021, 02:30 PM by Big_Papi. Edited 2 times in total.)
If a reporter ever tried coming up to the Billdozer and threatening him with blackmail, I am pretty sure I know exactly what that dirt would be. See, many years ago, before the Billdozer was introduced to this beautiful ISFL, the Billdozer was finding a hard time making ends meet. The bills were getting left unpaid, no water, electricity, or food. You see, Bill was desperate. And just then he was dick deep in opportunity. He ran into a long lost friend from high school who offered him an opportunity to make a little extra money. So, without much other options he took his friend up on the opportunity that was presented. So once Bill signed a few consent forms, he was led to a shanty dirty smelly house in the barrio. Upon entering, he noticed the house was full of men. Ungroomed, unwashed, burly men. You see Bill was offered money to appear in a short film. And let’s just say Bill did some things that has left him mentally scarred ever since. Upon finishing the filming, Bill could be heard in the corner with a look of sheer terror on his face muttering the words, “That was the easiest $50 I’ve ever made in my life!”
“My name is Dauterive comma Bill, I am also insane.”
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