(S32) Ultimus Week

[TheDangaZone]

SHL CW

[allbetsonjames]

PBE Full Championship Week Affiliate +10

[BRNXB0MBERS]

5 TPE
10. Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.

"Cap'n" Billy Stinkwater be a big-play threat wit' exceptional hands, an explosive burst o' spead, 'n the size t' beat the jam at the line.  He can overpower the defender or use a head fake t' create separation.  In addition t' size 'n speed, Stinkwater runs a beautiful route.  His cuts are crisp, plants are dynamic, 'n defensive reads impeccable.  Zone or scallywag, no coverage can seem t' stop 'im.  He can beat ye down the field or sit in the soft spot o' the defense wit' ease.  He has a nose fer the ball 'n ain't afeared o' contact.  He be willin' t' go o'er the middle 'n take the hits, but he has the finesse t' flawlessly execute a fade in the corner o' the endzone.  He can read the ball in the air like few 'ave done afore 'im.  Always aware o' the sideline, he always seems t' be in the perfect position t' utilize his exceptional body control t' get those extra few yards.  He excels at yards aft the catch while fakin' would be tacklers or simply runnin' 'em o'er.  He be fantastic in a supportin' role as well, deliverin' blocks downfield wit' ease.  On the field, his skills are simply unmatched.

Howe'er, he sometimes has problems outside o' game day.  He’s nah known fer his work ethic, 'n regularly  gives more effort in practice.  Still he be thar on game day, ready t' go.  He gets frustrated easily when he feels ignored in the offense.  That brutal downfield block might nah be thar if he only had one target in the first half.  Sometimes he will belay that on plays if he doesn’t reckon the ball be comin' his way.

If he can improve his effort outside o' game days, Stinkwater be in fer a mighty solid career.  Don’t be surprised when his award shelf starts fillin' up.

Code:

314 words

2.5 TPE each
32. What is your team doing this holiday season to help out the community? 

Stinkwater 'n the Pythons are fixtures in the Portland community.  They regularly volunteer at the local grub banks 'n homeless shelters.  This Christmas be no different.  The football season ended jus' in time fer 'em t' ramp up thar activity.  The Portland crew captains 'ave started a tradition know o' “The Touchdown Days o' Christmas”.  Fer each o' the next 7 days (one fer each point scored wit' a touchdown 'n extra point), the Pythons will be volunteerin' from 8-6 everyday.

Day 1: Preparin' 'n distributin' hot grub fer the homeless at the 31st street mission
Day 2: Meals on Wheels, deliverin' ready t' heat Christmas dinners t' seniors
Day 3: Holiday adoption drive fer the animals at the Humane Society o' Portland
Day 4: Buildin' houses fer Habitat fer Humanity
Day 5: Buildin' a playground wit' Kaboom! Fer the sprogs in southeast Portland
Day 6: Garbage pickup along Silence Creek t' the north o' the city
Day 7: The stadium will be open fer anyone 'n everyone t' come 'ave a meal on the field.

Code:

176 words

34. What are some of your player or your team's holiday traditions? 

We love some flair durin' Christmas.  We celebrate by goin' t' church, exchangin' gifts wit' family, 'n gatherin' fer a large meal. Grub on Christmas Day, the biggest feast o' the year, includes curry goat, rice, 'n gungo peas. Gungo peas usually ripen in December, jus' in time fer Christmas.  Aft grub, we liven things up wit' a wee shanties.  Wit' as many neighbors as we can gather, we travel from ship t' galleon t' serenade holiday gatherings.  The next day, we celebrate Junkanoo on Boxin' Day where masked revelers sing, dance, 'n drum thar way through town streets in an exuberant parade.

It doesn’t stop wit' Christmas though.  We also celebrate Three Kings’ Day on January 6. This day commemorates the comin' o' the Three Wise Scallywags.  We use this opportunity t' take down the Christmas trees.

All told, the celebratin' usually lasts about one month, when everyone has t' go back t' work in mid-January.  Thar are events occurrin' from November t' January, so thar’s always somethin' t' do.

Code:

171 words

[Briedaqueduc]

16. This task is exclusive to recreate/non-recreate rookies of the S33 class and later. The season is over and the draft is coming up. What do you bring to a team, and why should a team choose to take a chance on you next season?

Molki Koivu probably won't be a hall of famer or anything like that. He doesn't really have that special something to make it there. But he's one of the best team player out there. He is not looking for big money or good stats, he's looking to do anything that's necessary to have success as a team. For Molki, it's much more worth it to win as a team with him getting not really great stats, rather than losing as a team but getting a lot of stats. The ultimate reward in the league is to win the ultimus, getting personal awards is a bonus. Molki is also a very loyal player, as long as the team hasn't really pissed him off completely, he will stay there for the foreseeable future. Free agency is also not an option for him, he will always make sure to make it worth for a team if he needs a move, unless again the team really pissed him off. 
165 words

21. Now thats five seasons on the new sim. What are your thoughts? Do you think that it is better than DDSPF16?

To be fair I wasn't super around in the last five season and I'm not super knowledgeable on the sim engine, but I think it's been a good swap. Of course there's still some quirks that have carried over from the last sim, mostly questionable or straight up stupid play calls, but that's just how it is, I think we've grown to be used to it. It doesn't mean we still are very much mad when it happens, but we know it's a thing. Besides that, I think overall it made more builds viable, like QBs don't have to use the same build to do well, and all that. I think it makes the league more interesting, where not everyone has to make the same thing in order to have even a little bit of hope to have some success. There's definitely better builds than others, but I think most are viable in the end anyways. Again I'm not a sim magician, so I could be wrong about this.
169 words

25. Imagine your current position was not available to be picked when you created your player. What other position would you have picked, and why?

That's a really good question. I would probably stay on offense, that's just what I prefer personally. I'd either go back to offensive lineman or go at wide receiver. I liked offensive lineman, but this time around I wanted to do something a little different and went with tight end instead. Wide receiver seemed fun to me, but I think it's a position everyone wants to play, so I was worried I would not have gotten picked up by a team if I created at that position. Plus I think you need to earn quite a bit to be a good wide receiver, and I'm not sure how dedicated I want to be in this league. If it had to be defense, I would probably choose linebacker, for no real particular reason. Again it's not what I created at because I was told you had to be pretty high tpe to do well, so I ended up not creating there.
160 words.

27. What team do you think has the best branding in the league? What team do you think could use a refresh? Why?

Good question, in the DSFL, I pretty much like all of them, they are pretty much all original and none of them feels generic to me. I really like the Minnesota Grey Ducks and the Portland Pythons brandings though, but the others are very good too. I wouldn't change any of them really, they already seem fine as they are currently.  As for the ISFL, I really like the Hawks, the Sailfish, and the Otters. The Otters branding is probably my favorite one out of them all, as I really like otters in general, and their colors are cool.  As for teams that would need a change, I'd probably say Yellowknife and NOLA could use a rebrand or relocalisation. I think the Yellowknife logo is kinda bland and could be better, and their location makes absolutely no sense to me. As for NOLA, I think their branding is getting a little old and could be modernized a little bit. 
159 words.

[Kyle]

WSBL CW

[legion of slugs]

PBE CW Full +10

[Moosecop]

Full PBE CW

[Starboy]

Task 5

League history is something that can always be avoided by most of the general userbase since it does not affect them. Outside of major sim changes, there are not many different events that occur that can end up making the average user notice that something major had taken place. A team might break a record for most yards gained in a season, they might even set the most amount of wins in a season, or their quarterback might break every stat in the record book right before our eyes. However, this story is not about a team like that. The team that made history actually made no history at all as the only team that was created for an actual season, but never played a single down. The team without a stat is the Denver Grizzlies.

Our story begins before the first season begins as the folks setting up the Rocky Mountain’s first ISFL team, then the NSFL, had to come up with a proper team that could strike fear into the hearts of their opponents. There were teams already out there such as the Arizona Outlaws, Yellowknife Wraiths, and San Jose Sabercats who were all creating logos that the teams would eventually change but the Grizzlies were the only team that faced controversy due to their creation. The GM at the time decided that the “Denver Grizzlies” were far too generic of a team name since “everyone uses Grizzlies” when it came to sim leagues. Now, I cannot comment one way or the other since I have not was not in sim leagues prior to S15 of the ISFL, but I do not see a major issue with teams named after Grizzly bears or even bears in general. The complaints must have been coming from outside forces telling the GM that the Denver Grizzlies were too reminiscent of the Memphis Grizzlies and that seemed to be the tipping point, despite San Jose being the least original of the sim league teams, for change.

There were multiple ideas swirling through the mind of the first GM as he tried to decide what could be the replacement team name for the Denver Grizzlies. The two most important criteria that the team’s new name had to meet were: be original and be interesting. Nobody wants to play for a team that already has a sim league counterpart and nobody wants to play for a team named after something like a colored horse. The eventual decision is a team that continues to play today which took all of the possible stats away from the Denver Grizzlies since the change happened before the start of season one. The team taking its place is the Colorado Yeti.

There is plenty of debate if the “Colorado Yeti” is an interesting name or if the name is just something that everyone has grown toward liking. It meets the unique factor for sure, but there are plenty of unique names out there that might work well too and fit the area better. While I will not go into a full team name grading, the state of Colorado does not come close to the highest amount of bigfoot/yeti sightings in the continental US and immediately provides an issue with how well the name fits the area. It fits more toward the “San Jose Sabercats” end of the spectrum where team names do not match their areas. Beyond that, the new team has gone on to share in the greatest of highs and the lowest of lows. They are the only team in the league’s history to go winless for multiple seasons and win an Ultimus since the creation of the league. All that had to be sacrificed, were the Denver Grizzlies.

[terriblehippo]

Code:

975 words

For any team, certain players and users have gone above and beyond, shaping the legacy of the franchise.  Choose any ISFL or DSFL team and create a Mount Rushmore for that team.  Who in your mind are the four most noteworthy figures of the team's history?  Why does each one of your included figures deserve that recognition, and how did each of them make their mark?

The New Orleans Second Line have had many talented players don the purple and gold, so it's difficult to settle on just four faces to represent the team's long and storied history.  However, I've put a great deal of thought into this -- both for my own enjoyment and for previous point tasks -- so I think I'm up to the task.  Thanks to @JuOSu for putting together the spreadsheet of all-time stats for NOLA, which is what I referenced in writing this "article."  Here we go!

QB - Borkus Maximus III  @bovovovo
Despite the fact that almost 20 seasons have passed since Maximus last stepped onto the football field, he's still the gold standard for New Orleans quarterbacks.  He has the most passing yards (44,500) and passing touchdowns (251) in franchise history, and is third in career passer rating (86.08).  But while accumulating a mind-boggling number of passing yards, he also found time to pick up some yards on the ground: he's eighth in rushing yards (2063) and rushing touchdowns (18), which is incredible for a quarterback.  Plenty of incredible quarterbacks have played in New Orleans since Maximus -- Stan Francisco, Ben Slothlisberger, and Ishe Reallyinvisible, to name a few -- and have each have left their own mark on the franchise.  But none have had the overall impact that Maximus had. Factor in his collection of individual awards, and he's clearly the NOLA quarterback that should be featured on their Mount Rushmore.

RB - Forrest Gump @TomHanks
Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're going to get.  New Orleans probably didn't know that they were going to get a future Hall of Famer with the third pick in the second round of the Season 15 draft, but that's what they got.  Gump was one of four members of that draft class to play all the way through Season 27, and he made the most of every second.  By the time he hung up his cleats, Gump has climbed to the top of the New Orleans record books.  He finished with 10,504 rushing yards, which is not only good enough for first place but makes him the only NOLA player to end their career with 10,000+ rushing yards.  He scored 70 touchdowns in his illustrious career, only 7 behind the franchise leader.  His 4.21 career rushing average puts him at fifth in franchise history, in a race that's so tight he's only a quarter of a yard behind the franchise leader.  Gump also put in work on special teams: he's second in kick returns, kick return yards, and kick return touchdowns, and is first in those same stats for punts.  His trophy case is also full to bursting, including an Ultimus MVP award in Season 21. That's all I have to say about that.

WR - Vladimir Fyodorovich @majesiu
It's strange to look at a player who had a Hall of Fame career and ask, "What if?" but that's exactly the case with Fyodorovich.  What if the best wide receiver in New Orleans history had played at wide receiver his whole career?  Fyodorovich joined the league as a cornerback and played in that position for four seasons, but how good could he have been if he had been a wide receiver from the start?  He was pretty damn good as it was:  he's third in receptions for New Orleans, and is second in receiving yards (10,002), average (16.78), and touchdowns (53).  But special teams is where Fyodo really shines.  He's first in franchise history for kick returns (322), kick return yards (8351), and touchdowns (2).  For punts, he's second in returns (161), yards (1286), and touchdowns (3).  He was a critical part of the New Orleans roster throughout his career, and much of their success can be attributed to his raw talent.  Fyodorovich earned a staggering number of awards, but one achivement in particular stands out.  As far as I can tell, he's the only player in league history to win a Player of the Year award for offense, defense, and special teams.  When you take all of that into consideration, he obviously deserves to be on the NOLA Mount Rushmore.

LB - Quenton Bode @terriblehippo
No one has ever accused me of being biased before, but I could see how that label would apply here.  Nevertheless, I truly believe my first player belongs on the Second Line's Mount Rushmore as its sole defensive player.  Like Gump, he was drafted in Season 15 and played through Season 27, using that longevity to cement his status as one of the best linebackers in league history.  His biggest claim to fame is his tackles record: Bode made 1441 tackles over the course of his career.  That number is not only good for first in franchise history (in fact, he has almost as many tackles as second and third place combined), but makes him the league's all-time leading tackler.  He's the only player in league history to record more than 1300 career tackles, and while all of these records will almost certainly be broken in time, it's still an incredible feat.  Bode also leads the franchise in forced fumbles and fumble recoveries, and surprisingly is also ninth in franchise history for sacks (39).  Out of all of these players, his trophy case is easily the smallest, with only four Pro Bowl selections and one Ultimus ring to his name.  There were many factors working against Bode throughout his career: shorter seasons, his Coverage LB archetype, and the presences of other generational linebacker talents in the league, to name a few.  However, Bode was the foundation of New Orleans' defense for over one-third of league history, and the fact that he achieved so much in spite of everything is a testament to the power of dedication and hard work.  He's integral to the Second Line's history, and for that he is an easy selection for Mount Rushmore.

[Vikain]

32. What is your team doing this holiday season to help out the community?

For the Otters, the team has decided to help out in the orphanages around the community. The players all dressed as Santa Claus have bought tons of gear and toys for these children in need. “We want to help people in need and we thought this year or even maybe the next couple years, we can come out and help these kids in their tough situations” says the Head Coach of the Otters. Spending the day opening gifts and playing with their favorite football players, allows the kids to really engage and feel like a community is there to help. “Obviously we wish we could do a lot more in terms of getting the kids out of these places and into proper homes, but we can at least make them a happy day on Christmas”. Hoping for the best, the team has been promoting these local orphanages, to try and get more people to potentially think about adopting.

(2.5)

33. Your team is running Secret Santa, and your player is in charge of getting someone a present. Tell us who you have to get a present for, along with what you get them, and why.



For Raskolnikov the smile went wide as he saw the name he pulled out of the hat for Secret Santa. Goat Tank Jr. But as a rookie pulling for a vet, not only a vet, the vet. The Goat Tank JR. the player that just recently broke a record on most rushing attempts. What do you get a player like that. Well for starters maybe an actual Goat. Get it? A goat for the GOAT whose name is Goat Tank. Or we could get a Tank? No. NO. That may be  a little excessive. Lets just stick to a Goat that brings the Goat a plaque saying that he is the GOAT of ISFL. Well…we could have the goat in a tank bringing out the plaque. That would be cool. The Goat deserves goat things. It is starting to get confusing which Goat term I am using, hopefully the Goat would enjoy it. I mean the player Goat. Well the animal Goat too, we don't harm goats, or animals in general.

34. What are some of your player or your team's holiday traditions?

Feast, the feast of feasts. For the Raskolnikov family, it was always about food. Presents were nice but when you grew up strapped for cash, it was more about the family time and the food that was on the table made fresh by mama Raskolnikov. “We tend to get a ham and a bunch of Russian food such as palmeni, vinaigrette, and other salads. But man after you all that, we are mostly taking naps, it is hard work eating all that delicious food”. The smile creeps up on Raskolnikov's face, and his eyes turn to somewhere else, as if seeing the food in his head. The Raskolnikov face would also tend to play soccer, but in the past few years they have changed the game to American Football with Rodka’s success and ability to play in the ISFL. “It is always great to be with family, especially nowadays playing these tough schedules in ISFL, you really get no time besides the offseason to go and see them”.

22. You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do?

Finally, give me the power. Ultimus half-time show huh? We are going full out. A snail race. Not just any snail race. The Snail Race. The course goes from one End Zone to the other. These snails racing, have been competing all year, and these will be the best of the best. The players go into the room lockers, and the the snails come out. The stadium goes silent and whistle is blown and the snails take off… snail off? Slime off? The race goes, slowly but the thrill is there. People are watching attentively, eyes focused on the snails. The race goes on for over an hour, and finally some of them are close to the finish line. Finally number 3 crosses the line and the stadium erupts in huge cheer, then out of nowhere The Weeknd Comes out wearing the number 3 jersey of the home team and performs one song, only lasting 3 minutes exactly and disappears. The Ultimus Game resumes.