(S33) Ultimus Week

[Tayjay]

Pass

[SouljaBoy2007]

Task 1:

S33 was a major time of change for the league. We saw a ton of young QBs make their debuts and that is apparent in the playoffs. Three of the 6 playoff teams are led by rookie QBs. The Otters, led by Tron Carter, returned to the playoffs after a sizeable drought. Tron Carter had a solid season but didn't blow anyone away. His QB rating was about exactly average and he didn't throw a ton of touchdowns. The Otters got lucky just making the playoffs as they gave up more points than they scored. The Otters counterpart in the ASFC is the Outlaws who were led by Wendell Sailor. Sailor lit the league on fire by throwing 39 touchdowns and leading the league in passer rating. The Outlaws finished 2nd in the league in both scoring offense and scoring defense and looked to be the heavy favorites to take home some hardware. On the NSFC side, rookie QB Carter Knight managed to secure the 1 seed with the Sarasota Sailfish despite his reputation as a check-down artist. Like Carter, he didn't blow anyone away, but he made the plays he needed to make to get to the playoffs with the #1 scoring defense. Outside of the rookies we also saw Kazimir Oles Jr. have a bounce back year to take Chicago to the playoffs, Gimmy Jarropolo and the Hawks live up to their potential, and Jackie Daytona dragging Austin back to the playoffs. In the first round of the playoffs, there were a lot of great defensive performances. Baltimore held Oles and the Butchers offense to just 14 points and 2.4 yards per carry while the Otters held Daytona and the Copperheads in check to the tune of 16 points and 5 sacks. This set up an all rookie matchup in the ASFC championship and sent the Hawks down to Sarasota to face the daunting Sailfish defense. In the ASFC, the QBs both struggled mightily but OCO managed to jump out to a big lead thanks to the heroics of Goat Tank Jr. OCO gashed the elite Arizona defense to the tune of 8.4 yards per carry and despite Tron Carter’s best efforts to throw the game away with a late pick six, they eked out a win and an Ultimus berth. Over in the NSFC, Baltimore overcame some mistakes from Gimmy Jarropolo Jr. and took a 30-10 lead over Knight and the Sailfish. Two late touchdown drives by Sarasota gave them a tiny bit of hope but it ended up being too little too late as the Hawks advanced to the Ultimus. Busch Goose, despite reports of him being unhappy in Baltimore, was the MVP of the game with 3 total touchdowns. The Ultimus that followed was an absolute classic. Orange County, viewed as underdogs the entire process leading up to the game, silenced the critics with a 24-0 first quarter lead. Gimmy Jarropolo threw a pick 6 on his second pass attempt and Orange County was on fire after that. Baltimore turned the ball over on 3 straight drives in the first quarter and looked dejected. Fortunately for them, a touchdown drive to open the 2nd quarter helped to right the ship and a 55 yard run by Dante King helped to swing the momentum back the other way. Murmurs of a comeback started to begin. These murmurs were quickly silenced by a Tron Carter touchdown early in the 3rd to push the lead back to 3 scores. It was all looking up for the Otters. But it all came crashing down on Baltimore’s 5 yard line. Tron Carter threw a bad interception on what would’ve been the dagger and then Gimmy Jarropolo Jr. threw an absolute nuke on the next play. Carter managed to right the ship and throw a touchdown but Baltimore was just too hungry. They scored again, forced an interception again, and then scored their 38th point to tie it up with just 152 seconds to play. Gus Bus dropped a pass that would’ve given OCO a first down but they were forced to punt. Jarropolo then dropped a dime into the arms of Dante King to get into field goal range and that was all she wrote. OCOs desperation drive barely even got off the ground the Baltimore Hawks, even after a legacy of choking, pulled off one of the greatest comebacks in league history.

[Lowlycrib]

9.

Looks like my idea of buying all the lottery tickets has worked out and made me commissioner for the league. One of the first things I'd look to do would be to expand the league because everyone loves expansion and the excitement that comes with building an entire new team. A second thing I would implement would be the change in the salary cap system. This change would go from the imaginary money system we use with the "millions" we receive to a TPE system that has a set hard cap or a luxury tax system that removes 50% of the TPE for the next system if over a set limit. This new salary cap system would then promote activity in writing and producing media to then buy equipment for players as well as helping teams develop their young players or top load their stars for a championship run. A lot more strategy goes into a cap like this. A third change I'd like to see would be a much more interesting and involved free agency period because it should be one of the biggest points in any football sim league when in reality its pretty underwhelming and boring. Having a free agency forum or thread might help create a little more buzz around this time frame or even have a small product made on some of the top free agents of the league. A rule I would put in place to promote the moving of players across the league would be that 10% of a contract signed by a new acquisition wouldn't count against the team's cap to help encourage players and teams to keep things fresh rather than having the same 10 to 15 users over the span of a bunch of seasons. While these are only a small few things, there's probably a whole lot better ideas to improve but I think these could make the league far better and more active.

[ajtigger]

Task 4.

Sim gonna sim is the perfect way to describe the season that was endured by the San Jose Sabercats. The team had a horrific record with only five wins to eleven losses during the season, but that record does not tell the whole story for the Sabercats' season. The team had a staggering amount of one score games that really epitomize the frustration users face when it comes to the sim. Out of the sixteen games played this season, the Sabercats had eleven that wound up being decided by a touchdown or less. With so many games that were decided by so few points, you would have expected the Sabercats to have amounted a respectable season, not one that ended them in the basement. Instead the San Jose Sabercats were constant victims to the Sim.

Take week 1 for example, a 23 to 20 loss to the New Orleans Secondline. This game was back and forth with both teams punching into the end zone and having a hard fought battle. New Orleans took a late lead in the fourth quarter but with fifty three seconds remaining the San Jose Sabercats were able to tie the game on a Panda Mckyle pass to Higgins. The game seem destined for overtime as New Orleans did not have much success moving the ball so far in the second half. However, the sim decided that it was now time for the Second Line to have an offense. In just over 30 seconds, the Second line had completed multiple passes and got into long field goal range. Of course the Sabercats had their first heart break of the season as 51 yarder sailed through the uprights with just 17 seconds left on the clock.

It did not take long for the San Jose Sabercats to be struck by more unfortunate sim luck. Week 3 against the Baltimore Hawks saw the draft day pro sports gods strike down San Jose yet again. The Sabercats had tied the game late in the 3rd quarter and were in the midst of a valiant effort to hold the Baltimore Hawks out of the end zone at the end of the game and force overtime. But then, the sim had to sim. An unnecessary roughness call against the cats lead to a crucial first down for Baltimore and on the next play the Baltimore quarterback was able to hit his receiver for the go ahead touchdown. San Jose began to to mount a final drive, but it was stopped short by an interception as time expired. It was another late score that sent San Jose home unhappy.

The Sabercats again did not have to wait long to be beaten down by the sim gods. In their week 4 matchup against the Arizona Outlaws, the San Jose Sabercats were putting together one of their best games of the young season. A late touchdown from Panda to Higgins set the Sabercats up with a 34 to 31 lead with just over a minute to play in the game. It was at this moment disaster struck the team once again. On the last play of the game, Wendell Sailor of the Outlaws heaved a hail mary to the end zone. Staggs came down with the pass and no time was left on the clock for San Jose to respond. In just 4 weeks, San Jose had their heart ripped out three separate times.

As one can imagine, the rest of the season was the same for the San Jose Sabercats. Week after week they fought but week after week the sim decided to extract every ounce of hope the team had. While many teams like to make the claim that the sim is going to sim, the ISFL season 33 for the San Jose Sabercats is the absolute epitome of that phrase. We may never see a season like it again.

[Bigred1580]

15. Going to Disneyland! Who was the Ultimus Game MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland. (Can be completed after the Ultimus game)



18. Graphic Option: Create a graphic of your player with your teammate who exhibits a team-friendly attitude.



23. Create a billboard, magazine cover, unique trading card, or video game cover depicting a one of the league's stars.



28. Choose one existing award. Tell us why you think a certain player should win that award this season. Stats, or anything else possible should be used to support your case.

[BRNXB0MBERS]

10. Write a short biography or story about your player. This could include background about how they came to the ISFL and how they’ve done so far, a story about their role in an exciting game, or anything else related to their experience in the league.
Nah much be know about Cap'n Billy Stinkwater’s personal history 'cause he constantly gives outrageous 'n conflictin' accounts o' his past.

Startin' wit' his family, he has claimed that his elders are also his siblings 'n has made multiple conflictin' accounts o' havin' been married 'n havin' sprogs.  He claims his great grandfather was Civil War General Ambrose Burnside.

Maybe he’s a great athlete.  Remember when he came close t' a world log in the 100m hurdles while in college?

Wha' about language?  He learned sign language t' speak wit' a gorilla who eventually died o' lung cancer aft smokin' cigarettes together.  At various points, he has also spoken in Spanish, Korean, German, 'n Italian.  Or maybe he was jus' makin' stuff up.  Who knows.

Ok.  But why football?  'cause he was ghastly at his previous job as a janitor.  He did wee actual work, often sayin' that he spends only an hour 'n a half a day performin' his duties at work. He spent most o' the time tormentin' his coworkers, especially those who he feels 'ave wronged 'im.  Whether it’s a mess, disrespect, or putting a penny in the door, ye better nah cross Stinkwater.

Now he’s in the ISFL where his crew be his family, he uses his physical abilities t' hurdle would-be tacklers, speaks the playbook, 'n works hard all day every day.

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227 words

15. Going to Disneyland! Who was the Ultimus Game MVP? Give us a rundown of their celebratory trip to Disneyland. (Can be completed after the Ultimus game)
The MVP was clearly Goat Tank, but he's too cool t' go t' Disney World.  Stickin' wit' his military background, Tank went t' participate in the invasion known as Gasparilla In Tampa, Florida.

Fer more than one hundred years, pirates 'n fun-lovin' folks (some years more than 100,000) from the Tampa Bay area 'ave gathered fer a unique 'n interestin' celebration.  The Gasparilla Pirate Fest 'n Invasion started in 1904, but the first naval invasion o' Gasparilla didn' happen 'til 1911 (the pirates stormed the city by horseback afore that).

The invasion be led by a group call the Ye Mystic Krewe, who sails across Tampa Bay on the ship Jose Gasparilla.  Everyone knows o' thar power, so the city does nah even fight it anymore; the mayor simply gives 'em the key t' the city 'n allows 'em t' parade through the streets o' Tampa.  Stretchin' from January t' March, the timin' o' Gasparilla be perfect fer celebratin' aft winnin' the big game.

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164 words

18. Which teammate of yours is the ultimate team player and why? How does this person exhibit selflessness and put the team first? Are they a great locker room presence who encourages others? Do they play an important but unappreciated role on the team which doesn't receive much recognition for awards?
Let’s no keep this t' jus' one teammate. Let’s natter about all o' the underappreciated players in the league.

Offensive line plays a huge role in football. They make a huge impact on the field 'n are great leaders in the locker cabin off the field. Look at any left tackle. They protect the QB while puttin' up huge numbers o' pancakes, but do they get credit fer the TD pass? No, o' course nah.

They be often the community leaders as well. One crew this past season had the entire offensive line spend every Saturday buildin' houses fer the needy. Others 'ave volunteered wit' the Whelps 'n Lasses Club. Perhaps me fav'rit though, be the offensive line o' the Arizona Outlaws puttin' on community theater 'n readin' t' the blind. Offensive linemen are some o' the best role models ye can imagine.

I’m honored t' share the field wit' such great football players 'n – more importantly – great scallywags.

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159 words

22. You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do?
We’re recreatin' the 2001 Super Bowl halftime show.  Why?  'cause it’s the best o' all time.  It had somethin' fer everybody.  Pop.  Rock.  Rap.  Young.  Ole.  'twas the first one t' 'ave fans on the field.  Other than that sock, 'twas flawless.  We ne'er wanted t' say “Bye Bye Bye” t' the performance, 'n now we don’t 'ave t'.  Ye’ll be glued t' yer TV since “[Ye] Don’t Wants t' Wench a Thing”.  'n who be puttin' this masterpiece together?  “It’s Gonna Be Me”; I’m nah trustin' it t' anyone else.  Now, I know wha' ye’re thinkin': won’t this scallywag celebratin' a Super Bowl halftime show from 20 years ago jus' be grouchy 'n “Jaded”?  If ye “Walk This Way”, I’ll show ye why that’s wrong.  In order fer us t' be in sync wit' the current generation, we shall crew up wit' the Mary’s 'n J’s o' today.  I’m sure they’ll come up wit' somethin' better than the aerodynamic show previously proposed.  They will spear the perfect idea, 'n I will put it into action. 

Code:

176 words

[UberBJ]

1) WSBL Affiliate CW (1 Task) 2.5 TPE


21. What are your thoughts on the sim engine? Do you think that it is better than DDSPF16? 2.5 TPE

Is DDSPF 21 better than DDSPF 16? Yeah, definitely. Is it a massive improvement? Not really. The biggest change is probably the presentation and I honestly think I like some aspects of it better than 16, but some removals/changes absolutely suck. Not being able to control stat display and having that weird timed rotation of team vs individual is pretty annoying and frankly hard to read at times. The overall field and dot movement feels better, and the addition of an actual football to see passes is exceptionally welcome. However, this is the year 2021/2022 and that stuff should be the bare minimum.

So I’ll say this, I don’t think there is a better alternative out there for us to use currently, but I really wish WS would get some better funding or a new director to push for an overhaul. I don't expect a move to 3D or anything, but maybe making the game more modifiable and welcoming to the generic user would be a step in the right direction.



12. Choose a team or player to write about that isn’t your own. What did they do well in the last season? Have they shown any drastic improvements from previous years? What could they do better? 5 TPE

This one is easy, especially since I’m a Yellowknife Wraith’s alumnus and homer.

The man, the myth, the legend… Mr. Dustin Parmelee (@Dp-420). In only his fourth season in the major league he goes out there and sets several records and leads the league in tons of categories. He has the most passing yards by several hundred, he has a nutty 65% completion rate, and a season QBR of 100.4. He did this all while throwing less attempts than veterans like Negs and Caliban. Unfortunately this man does not run and is a statue in the pocket, so if the play breaks down it’s over. Not a big deal when you have a laser rocket arm though, right?

Now let us look at his improvement from the previous season to contrast the rise to elite talent status. He improved his passing yards by 800, yes that’s two zeros, yards. He increased his completion % by 2, which while seemingly small adds up to several more completions per season and with the deep bombs he throws, many more yards. He also raised his QBR from 86 to the aforementioned 100.4, a massive improvement. His TD/INT ratio jumped from almost 1:1 to a really nice 3:1, giving his defense more time to rest and owning the time of possession metrics.

Most shockingly, this improvement came from a team that has a very young and inefficient run game (theyll improve), a dropasaurus-reks in Bern D Brot, and an ancient Sakura. On the other hand, rising stars Buffalo Hunter and Mark Walker get honorable mention nods as they were both vital to Parmalee’s success, and should get a raise after carrying the other 2 receivers.  Is this down to having prolific talent grooming GMs in Arkz and Zoot? Maybe, maybe not. They are pretty dope. Either way, I really think the numbers he put up are crazy with all that in mind, and expect YKW to rebound strongly with him at the helm.

[dogwoodmaple]

17. Your team has announced that they will be laying ground on a new stadium next season. What additions would you like to see included in it. No graphics option available here.

The main modifications I'd like to see to our stadium are things that will directly benefit the average fan who comes to Silverback Stadium to see us play on Sundays.  It might sound boring, but things like additional and larger restrooms, more numerous drink refilling stations, and hundreds of power stations all around the stadium so fans can charge their phones if their batteries are running low.  These may seem obvious, but the whole reason we do this is for the fans.  And especially those fans who give their hard-earned money and sacrifice their time to come out and watch us play in person and give us the energy we need to get the job done and protect our home field.  Anything we can do to make their experience even moderately better is something that is a worthwhile investment.  Not to mention working out a new food and drink agreement with our vendors so that the average fan isn't priced out of the market.  It's all about the people here in New York and we need to do everything in our power to give back to Silverback Nation.  We are nothing without our rabid fanbase and we certainly wouldn't have won a pair of Ultimus without them!
(207 words)


22. You’re in charge of entertainment for the Ultimus or Ultimini half-time show. What would you do?

Oh this one is easy.  For halftime entertainment at the Ultimus, I'd require that all the head coaches and captains of all the teams who did not make the playoffs perform a song and dance number on a stage at midfield.  Obviously we're not going for musical acumen here, but not only would it be fun and entertaining, but it would be a small reward for those teams who did make the playoffs - their folks wouldn't have to do it!  Plus, just imagine the ad-buys for commercials and the ratings that the show would generate.  Can you imagine zayn out there leading the stadium in a Katy Perry song?  Or mithrandir having to break it down to some funky tunes?  Or Zoot rockin' out on the piano? It would be the event of the season and a great way to celebrate all the teams and give back to the fans.  Without them, this league is nothing and I know a show like this would be incredibly entertaining to everyone from small children to our most loyal, season ticket holders.  Set your DVR and don't miss the show!
(187 words)


26. Football is a game that has been going on for a while, loved by fans all over. But what if you were able to make some rule changes? Talk us through your new version of football, and what would be different and why?

One of the biggest changes I would make would be to introduce more scoring opportunities for each team.  Right now, there are only field goals, touchdowns, extra points, safeties, and two-point conversions. I would include provisions where touchdowns of 50+ yards are automatically already eight points before the extra point or two point conversion.  We need to have more big plays in the league and additional offense, and this accomplishes both.  You could erase a 10 point deficit in one long play plus a two pointer.  I'd also add a provision where you get one point for hitting the upright with any kick, including a kickoff.  Which also means that if you hit the upright and a field goal doinks in, you get four points (three plus one).  Same with a PAT - you hit the upright and it bounces in and you'd get two points.  These modifications add a layer of fun, excitement, and strategy to the game that we haven't seen so far in the league. I think the fans would love these new rules and it would help with ratings, attendance, and overall enjoyment of the league.  Plus, it makes kickoffs even more important. Aim for the uprights!
(200 words)


30. Affliate PT from either SHL/PBE/WSBL.
SHL Affiliate | +2.5 TPE

[Matty7478]

Task 14

To say Season 33 was not a weird one for Royals' QB Kaguya Shinomiya would be false on many levels. The team had quietly harboured high hopes going into the season, with Kaguya one of the players seen as ready for a breakout of big proportions. What followed in the first 5 games of the season was the entire opposite of this expected breakout; the Royals went 0-5 in this span. Kaguya did throw 5 TDs in these games, however this was counteracted by 7 INTs and a real lack of offensive production as a team - London scored 14 or less points in 4 of those 5 games. This losing streak would end in gameweek 6 against the Pythons, which in-turn began a 3-game win streak for the Royals. Kaguya led the team well in those 3 wins especially, throwing 10 TDs over those 3 games without giving up a single interception in the same run. Things were looking up for Shinomiya and the rest of the team, until another 3-game skid arrived straight after. Over the next 4 games - the last of which the Royals won by a point over eventual Ultimini winners Norfolk - Kaguya would throw a further 9 INTs, 4 of which were in that win over the back-to-back champs. Though the season would end with 2 wins and strong performances from Kaguya once again, the Royals would fall short of the playoffs by 1 game, losing out to the 7-7 Kansas City Coyotes for the final spot. Following the season, questions were asked about the future of Kaguya's stewardship of the team following this disappointing turn of events. Sure, she had thrown 29 TDs over the course of the year and had the gamebreaking speed that made the Royals near unstoppable on their best days. However, the constant throwing errors that led to a middling pass completion rate and 17 INTs during the year left a rift between Royals fans and their enigmatic QB. Ahead of the next season, Royals management have thrown the entirety of their support behind their star QB, and hope that their play next season - along with likely results - will appease supporters who, one can assume, have already grown tired of riding the wave of emotion that comes alongside the watching of Shinomiya's Royals team.

383 words

Task 17

The Royals have decided to lay ground on a new stadium in the outer regions of London's large landscape of buildings, in hopes of finding a new niche of supporters normally left solely to the reaches of association football. One addition that I would like to see in this stadium is not technically an addition physically, but more of an shift in tact; in-stadium bars that stay open throughout the match. Currently, since the Royals have been sharing a stadium with a London association football team, the rules around that sport of spectators not being allowed to drink in the stadium must be complied with during Royals' matchdays. With this new stadium, I hope that this can be changed, and that fans can have access to alcohol throughout the match - and not just during the fights in pubs before and afterward. Further to this, I want there to be a specific terraced section at one end of the field, similar in style to the Dawg Pound in Cleveland, or the Kop in Liverpool. Something like the 'Lion's Den', where loyal supporters can buy tickets to support their team alongside other Royals fans, rather than sharing space with fans of other teams like in other stadiums.

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Task 21

We have been on the newer version of DDSPF for a while now, with DDSPF16 being nothing more now than a dark memory known only by those of us who watched for years and tried our best to pretend there weren't obvious flaws in the logic and presentation. Looking back now, it is safe to say the steps forward in presentation are very obvious - not only down to the work of the game, but also down to the stream presentation team, good job guys - and our league is better for having this improved gameday presentation. Now... is it a better simulation of a football league? I would have to say that it is, mostly for 2 reasons; firstly, the game (21) has not been run into the ground by the same simulation menu that essentially turned this league into 'testing/spreadsheet simulator' for the longest time. The fact people attached to this league can go outside for a while in-between depth chart submissions because they don't have the capacity to test every little thing is nice. And secondly, there is actually more balance between all of the archetypes - something that definitely did not exist back in the world where less than 25% win rate in testing was basically an instant-win (I know that sounds weird, but back-to-back Sabercat wins tells me this was the case). Thanks goes out to the balancing department for that second point.

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[xenosthelegend]

6. Write 600 words or more on something about anything in the league that interests you. It could be related to statistics, a league issue that you take seriously, or a niche part of history that doesn’t fit neatly into either of the above categories. This must be directly related to the league, so don’t wax 600 words about your team’s participation on a Werewolf server or something.

Jacob Small is an anomaly when it comes to both kicking and punting. He should absolutely be a first ballot hall of famer, anyone who thinks otherwise is entirely incorrect, and what I want to say here would probably get me banned. Here is why I believe this is the case.

In the entire history of the ISFL, there have been 20 instances where a kicker has not missed a field goal in a season. The ISFL just had its 33rd season, meaning that there is an ~60.6% chance of this happening in any season by any player. That being said, in 6 seasons there were multiple kickers who had a 100% field goal accuracy. 3 happened in season 7, 2 in season 9, 2 in season 14, 2 in season 24, 2 in season 25, and 2 in season 26. If we treat it as seasons with at least one kicker who had 100% field goal accuracy, we end up with a probability of ~42.4% of at least one kicker having 100% field goal accuracy in a season. If we look at kickers in total, there have been 314 combined kicker seasons in ISFL history. The probability that one of them has 100% field goal accuracy drops to just ~6.4%. But out of all of these kickers who have had a 100% field goal accuracy season, I have left out their names. Because there is only one who has done it twice. The only kicker to have 2 100% field goal accuracy seasons is Jacob Small. Since S28, there have been just 11 instances where a kicker has had >= 90% field goal accuracy. Jacob Small is the only kicker to have a 100% field goal accuracy season over this time. During the season he had 100% field goal accuracy, no one else even reached 90%. This success was not from a lack of attempts either, he had the 3rd most field goal attempts in the league that season with 36. Which is tied for the 2nd most attempts for a perfect season in kicking field goals. The person he is tied with is himself from S26, where he attempted the second most field goals in the league. Jacob Small sits 2nd all time in field goals attempted, and field goals made. He has attempted more field goals from 40-49 yards than anyone else ever has, and has made more field goals from 40-49 yards than anyone else ever has.

Now for his punting ability.

I tracked punting stats on my own for a bit, and when I was doing it, Jacob Small was an absolute anomaly when it came to putting the ball inside the 20. He is one of 3 players who has had 7 punts inside the 20 in a single game. Jacob Small has had 4 instances where he had 6 punts inside the 20 in a single game. That being said, his S27 season is an outlier among his anomalous ability to get the ball inside the 20. Before S27, the record for most punts inside the 20 was set in S24 with 26. That record got broken 12(!!) times in S27. But among those performances, there was an outlier. That outlier being what is still the record for most punts inside the 20 in a single season at 48. This was ahead of #2 by 9. Jacob Small had the outlier performance in the season that all punters had outlier performances. That season also still stands as the highest single season %punts inside the 20, at 58.5%. If that wasn't enough, Jacob Small has more punts inside the 20 than anyone else by 40, and is the only player to have reached the 300 punts inside the 20 milestone.