For Pilot RedSun's training camp for kids, he would teach "The Dangers of Cocaine and Steroids: Why They Make You Good at Football but Bad at Life." There would be no parents allowed at this training camp. I would be teaching the kids the chemical structure of cocaine, how it effects the body, and how it makes me into a total animal when I step on the field. In addition, I would explain the effects of steroids on muscle growth, and I would constantly flex during the powerpoint to demonstrate how swole they can make you. However, I would also explain the intense rage issues I undergo as a result of these combined substances. I would then allow the children to insult me as I am presented with various objects to destroy, such as beer cans and squishimals. A gift bag would be provided to each child upon the completion of the camp, which would include a signed Pilot RedSun Dotts card, and a handful of pixy stix candy, which I would call "essentially training wheels cocaine, in case you want to practice." Finally, a line of lawyers would prompt then to sign Non-Disclosure Agreements before they exited, allowing me to sue any of the children that told their parents about this educational and fun-filled camp.
SHL Affiliate
https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid3240243 [OPTION] NAME: Lenard Graf
[OPTION] BIRTHPLACE: Munich, Germany
[OPTION] COLLEGE: Oregon Ducks
[OPTION] HEIGHT: 6'4"
[OPTION] WEIGHT: 250 lb
[OPTION] NUMBER: 17
[OPTION]------------------------------------------------------------
[OPTION] TRANSACTIONS:
[OPTION] S31: Drafted 3rd overall by Bondi Beach(DSFL)
[OPTION] S32: Drafted 1st overall by Baltimore Hawks(ISFL)
[OPTION]------------------------------------------------------------
[OPTION] Accomplishments:
[OPTION] S31: Pro Bowl Selection (DSFL) [OPTION]
I don't have time to train any kids what do you think I am some sort of glorified babysitter. Seriously why would I waste my time trying to train future generations of earth children how to catch a ball like me, if you can't grow a third arm then don't have a centipedes chance in a super nova of being able to get anything close to my amazing play. I guess I could train. Them to mix a good drink, and child labour is perfectly acceptable in the more disreputable corners of the galaxy so I could take some on as unpaid presidential interns, as long as they don't want to be paid or anything like that. I guess if you force me to come up with task I can throw a few balls around for them while trying to show the finer points of a perfectly mixed pan galactic gargle blasters but serious dude get a grip
Goat Tank is about to hold this awesome practice for the kids who are all really excited to learn from the running back named Goat Tank. However, all he really does is yell at the kids with the words GOAT and TANK. Some kids kind of try and figure out what it means and a couple leave to go to the local farm and pick up some goats and bring them to practice but the goats appear to really want nothing to do with being in a football camp so it kind of fails miserably.
One kid decides to go to the local army place and get an actual tank. That seems to disrupt the entire training thing and the kid gets in trouble and Goat Tank leaves. It was then decided by Goat Tank's public relations team that this like every other hair brained idea they had is probably not a good one. They continue to see if they can get Goat Tank to say more than just Goat and Tank. Code: 172 words
Jason Oexius would hold the greatest training camp of all time for the wee chaps of the universe. Thats right, players from all over the galaxy and beyond would marvel in this intense camp full of awesome drills. First off, Jason would employ the help of some American futbol legends. That will definitely make his job easier as he will just make them do most of the work. After that he will get the drills rolling, starting off with suicides that go from endzone to endzone. that will DEFINITELY beef these little shits up a bit. Next they will run 10 miles every day. A lot of running, I know, but hey football mostly contains running does it not? finally, they will all play scrimmage games. The oldest age group will be paired with the youngest age group. Don't worry it will definitely be a fair matchup. When its all said and done, Jason Oexius will leave them all with one final piece of advice... BERATE THE JANITORS AT ALL COST.
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