08-14-2022, 09:58 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-15-2022, 01:08 AM by dude_man. Edited 2 times in total.)
Hi! Come along with me on a draft recap journey not as a planned thing but because I'm lazy and trying to get double (and a half!) media before the time runs out, right against the deadline, because that's how I roll and man I would really love to actually get equipment this season.
So let's get to it! I'm just going to comment on how cool names are, whether I know someone or not, and how neat the render is. You know, the important stuff. Stats are for nerds. This is also super exciting because I didn't do the draft PT (it was posted on a Monday and due on a Friday, I'm one of those people who try to do everything on a Sunday, how dare they not cater to me smh) so I really have no idea who's in this class. Woo!
1. Charlie Thorsen - amidships
Hey! This is one of my Norway buds from SHL. We love an early defense pick and this is a fun name. Is the player North American? Are they Scandinavian? We'll never know! Yeah, we could check the player page but there is absolutely no fun in that. Also I hope kya did the graphic because that would be very cute.
2. Matthew Mara - High Stick King
THAT'S MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally love the other S62 SHL people who found the hockey league through reddit slowly infiltrating the other leagues as well. I think Gordo beat us all and is killing it everywhere, but so happy to see HSK in the wild too! Cricket is definitely A Choice for a render, and I hope there's some very fun media and graphics. I shall have to hunt for it.
3. Grayson Yates - arctic
I am sorry to say I do not know this person. My streak ends. Very preppy name and serious football render. The numbers on the draft sig are very large and I bet this person is a bonafide football person. Yeti are a lovely team and I bet they'll all be peas in a pod together! I'm in the LR to bug Isa and Schwarz to carry me in League so I will have to say hi to Yates.
4. Delores Bickerman - Kyamprac
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I should've known that if Amid was in a draft, Kya would be there too smh. Absolutely ADORE Kya and Betty White is absolutely iconic and would have killed it as a Quarterback, you are absolutely correct Kya. Delores will definitely be on my fantasy team in a few season. Again, hope amid did this sig because cute.
5. Preston Beatz - Darknessrising
I sense we are heading into the Hannah Knows No One zone. This person seems neat and I love that lil detective guy. I do not know his name but I know he's in a game and you detect things and that's cool. Is his name Preston? Again. We will never know. 0 Touchdowns seems super rude to put on a sig, especially for a top 5 draftee. At least pick a big number!!
6. Jason Oexius - moldycheez4
Yea this person is on my team!! They seem super great and I love a food name. Love having a fellow defense line member go high, and super looking forward to flattening some offensive opponents with my boy Jason! Oexius is a super neat last name. Sounds like someone from the Illiad. This dude totally battled alongside Ajax.
7. Bay Webb - thehammer43
Okay so. Funny story. In SHL, bbjygm (love him) made this awesome bot that you can invite to your LR and alerts you when a PT/AC is due soon and you haven't completed it yet. Absolutely incredibly for the lazy users like me. But somehow hammer got put on the Manhattan Rage update, so we'll get bot alerts that hammer needs to do a pt or got some TPE to claim. Hammer, if you see this, we're proud of you and we're always cheering you on in the Rage LR even though you are most certainly not there.
8. Inspector Gadget - gadget
Incredible amazing wow you ARE the moment. We love a same user name as player name, very dedicated and you know exactly who you're talking to and looking at. Does football have walkout songs? If so I hope the Inspector Gadget theme song blasts on the speakers at all games. What a bop.
9. Dusty Wilson - dustywilson22
I always assume that the number after the username is the person's birth year, so this person is either months/days/minutes old, or they're a centurion. Either way, incredible. Once again, dedicated to the cause and to the player. I wish you a very Dusty Wilson times two.
10. Jordan Hartline - rbdsouthpaw
I wonder if this person is like me, and is the southpaw from the SHL and went with a slightly different username here for funsies? Either way, serious player name and serious football render. Dedicated to the cause and has a sack! Good stuff, no zeroes here.
11. Nova Montagne - orbitingdeath
AY!!! Another S62 but a seasoned pro. Also I'm absolutely calling it now, Nova Montagne ROTY whenever she gets called up. Also OD always picks neat ladies from TV shows that I've never seen or heard of, which is super neat and I bet OD is gonna have some rad graphics and gifs for Nova.
12. Rocky Moreaux - qwest
I feel like I have seen this username before but also I have seen so so many. It is neat, and I love the last name. -eaux is always good stuff in my opinion. 5 touchdowns as a wide receiver sounds great to me! Go get the Yeti an Ultimus, but let me get one first please and thank you.
13. Dip Dhillon - Dip
Dip Dip! Three letter usernames are always impressive, like yeah! You did it! Short and to the point, love it. Question! Do we pronounce the H in Dhillon? Thinking like Duh-hillon or a little breath in after the D. Maybe the D is silent. That would be great. Awful for commentators and award presenters, but great.
14. Michael Touchback - Tacocat
Wow. Circle of life. Started out with round 1 with an SHL Norway bud and finishing with an SHL Norway bud. Tacocat is our lovely goalie there, and I bet will make a lovely Runningback here! Also love a palindrome, good stuff.
Okay let's take a break and acknowledge that we made it over 1,000 words. I love money, so we're going to do round 2 as well for some more cash and because I love to talk. Okay deep breaths in and out. Time for more garbage commentary with me.
15. Known Acquaintance - rotzbua
dogdogdogdogdogdog absolutely incredible for sure the steal of the draft, can't believe dog render didn't go first overall incredibly disappointed in everyone for not getting this aussie shepherd into a single digit spot. Just imagine. Dog playing football with people. If the sim engine had people like PBE and not dogs I would pay someone real money to mod a dog in there. Also great name.
16. Monty Ward - xqcfamous
So uh, you like overwatch streamers? Totally had a Everything, Everywhere, All At Once multiverse hopping-level reaction to reading xqc. Man. Haven't heard that name in ages. Anyway all those stats are in the double digits so that's neat. Pythons are treating Ward very well.
17. Stryker Brown - chxhawk
First Butchers pick of the draft and they picked an excellent name. Stryker strikes some fear into the heart and definitely sounds like someone who could wield a hatchet. Good stuff. And that username rocks. Chexhawk? Does the ch make a more guttural sound? Either way, good stuff. Dude in the pic has METAL CHAINS around his neck. That goes hard.
18. Brandon Mason - bmason0520
Wow. Born in May of the year 2020. A pandemic baby is amongst us. Incredible. (Oh jeez, some day pandemic babies will actually be on this site and I will be so so old). Dedicated to the cause member of the same name, same username club. Good stuff, probably watches some football.
19. Brock Landers Jr. - gucci
Another good name. Brock. Hope he has a frying pan that doubles as a drying pan. That is a lot of yards to run for one man, but his name is Brock so that makes perfect sense. Of course he runs.
20. Adam Rage - MrMom
Super jazzed to have MrMom in NOLA because they're on the Manhattan Rage with me in the SHL as well! Double teammates are super fun. Also I STILL don't know if they like the Michael Keaton movie. I've been meaning to ask for forever and just haven't. Also almost had to google to remember Keaton's name but I didn't because that would be cheating. I haven't looked up anything else and I'm not about to start now.
21. Tingis Pingis - negs
A fellow seawolf! There have probably been others but I have not been paying attention I am so sorry. But this is a fun name and those are some fun stats. 1 interception! They could do more, if they wanted to, but they just don't want to. Don't worry about it.
22. Gribbuh Fister - hontier
Back to back Liberty picks with absolutely nonsense names. 100% these peeps are pals because there is simply no other explanation. You don't get to see nonsense names like these everyday just for free. Have to pay the price of back to back picks. Also, he really does fist those gribbuhs, wow.
23. Ryan Murray - ryanm1414
Wow. Murray was born in 2014 in the 14th month of the year. You know how it goes December, Winter Holidays, and then That Weird Time After Holidays When All Time is Fake? Murray was born in that month. Which makes them a very powerful psychic person. Beware Ryan Murray on the field.
24. Luther Vox - luthervox
Okay, so. First of all, very cool name. Secondly, let's talk about the same username same player name. That is a lot of commitment. You are saying THIS is my player. Forever. Sure you can change your username, or have a million Juniors, but that's different. That's not the same player you start with, that you spent those first days, weeks, months getting to know and fleshing out. You can't just recreate with a John Doe. I mean, you can, but why would you? You've already pledged yourself to this one player. Also solid stats, sabercats nabbed someone nice.
25. Danny Nedelko - crunk
Outlaws nabbed a real great one with this pick. Again an SHL S62 bud, though I'm not certain crunk found the league through reddit. I'm not at all in the wrestling world but that's a cool render with a very nice hair accessory. I hope he has that on in all the photos.
26. Yummy Hotdogpie - fleshbagsoup
Hmm. I regret having eyes. What an evocative name and render. That's really something else. I hope Carissa never meets this player on the field, because that sounds like a Beetlejuice banana song type of fight. Also it gets hot out. One hundred percent that hotdogpie starts to smell a couple hours into the game. Also, really, who let a hotdogpie play?
27. Blibby Shpoopy - whatamus
Devastated that this player didn't go to the Liberty with their nonsense name. They would've fit right in. This is not the name of someone who wields a butcher, but someone who is butchered. But also I know very little and maybe this name will one day strike fear into my heart. Just not today, Blibby.
28. Deckerd Deshaw - Deckerd
We get to finish on a NOLA friend! Once again, a serious player name for a serious team that's really going somewhere in the next few seasons. Absolutely perfect and Deckerd will fit right in.
Okay, quick celebration for getting over 2,000 words with a very rambly and rapidly declining thought-pattern wise analysis of the S37 draft. Many many congratulations to everyone drafted and greatly looking forward to seeing everyone on the field!
So let's get to it! I'm just going to comment on how cool names are, whether I know someone or not, and how neat the render is. You know, the important stuff. Stats are for nerds. This is also super exciting because I didn't do the draft PT (it was posted on a Monday and due on a Friday, I'm one of those people who try to do everything on a Sunday, how dare they not cater to me smh) so I really have no idea who's in this class. Woo!
1. Charlie Thorsen - amidships
Hey! This is one of my Norway buds from SHL. We love an early defense pick and this is a fun name. Is the player North American? Are they Scandinavian? We'll never know! Yeah, we could check the player page but there is absolutely no fun in that. Also I hope kya did the graphic because that would be very cute.
2. Matthew Mara - High Stick King
THAT'S MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally love the other S62 SHL people who found the hockey league through reddit slowly infiltrating the other leagues as well. I think Gordo beat us all and is killing it everywhere, but so happy to see HSK in the wild too! Cricket is definitely A Choice for a render, and I hope there's some very fun media and graphics. I shall have to hunt for it.
3. Grayson Yates - arctic
I am sorry to say I do not know this person. My streak ends. Very preppy name and serious football render. The numbers on the draft sig are very large and I bet this person is a bonafide football person. Yeti are a lovely team and I bet they'll all be peas in a pod together! I'm in the LR to bug Isa and Schwarz to carry me in League so I will have to say hi to Yates.
4. Delores Bickerman - Kyamprac
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I should've known that if Amid was in a draft, Kya would be there too smh. Absolutely ADORE Kya and Betty White is absolutely iconic and would have killed it as a Quarterback, you are absolutely correct Kya. Delores will definitely be on my fantasy team in a few season. Again, hope amid did this sig because cute.
5. Preston Beatz - Darknessrising
I sense we are heading into the Hannah Knows No One zone. This person seems neat and I love that lil detective guy. I do not know his name but I know he's in a game and you detect things and that's cool. Is his name Preston? Again. We will never know. 0 Touchdowns seems super rude to put on a sig, especially for a top 5 draftee. At least pick a big number!!
6. Jason Oexius - moldycheez4
Yea this person is on my team!! They seem super great and I love a food name. Love having a fellow defense line member go high, and super looking forward to flattening some offensive opponents with my boy Jason! Oexius is a super neat last name. Sounds like someone from the Illiad. This dude totally battled alongside Ajax.
7. Bay Webb - thehammer43
Okay so. Funny story. In SHL, bbjygm (love him) made this awesome bot that you can invite to your LR and alerts you when a PT/AC is due soon and you haven't completed it yet. Absolutely incredibly for the lazy users like me. But somehow hammer got put on the Manhattan Rage update, so we'll get bot alerts that hammer needs to do a pt or got some TPE to claim. Hammer, if you see this, we're proud of you and we're always cheering you on in the Rage LR even though you are most certainly not there.
8. Inspector Gadget - gadget
Incredible amazing wow you ARE the moment. We love a same user name as player name, very dedicated and you know exactly who you're talking to and looking at. Does football have walkout songs? If so I hope the Inspector Gadget theme song blasts on the speakers at all games. What a bop.
9. Dusty Wilson - dustywilson22
I always assume that the number after the username is the person's birth year, so this person is either months/days/minutes old, or they're a centurion. Either way, incredible. Once again, dedicated to the cause and to the player. I wish you a very Dusty Wilson times two.
10. Jordan Hartline - rbdsouthpaw
I wonder if this person is like me, and is the southpaw from the SHL and went with a slightly different username here for funsies? Either way, serious player name and serious football render. Dedicated to the cause and has a sack! Good stuff, no zeroes here.
11. Nova Montagne - orbitingdeath
AY!!! Another S62 but a seasoned pro. Also I'm absolutely calling it now, Nova Montagne ROTY whenever she gets called up. Also OD always picks neat ladies from TV shows that I've never seen or heard of, which is super neat and I bet OD is gonna have some rad graphics and gifs for Nova.
12. Rocky Moreaux - qwest
I feel like I have seen this username before but also I have seen so so many. It is neat, and I love the last name. -eaux is always good stuff in my opinion. 5 touchdowns as a wide receiver sounds great to me! Go get the Yeti an Ultimus, but let me get one first please and thank you.
13. Dip Dhillon - Dip
Dip Dip! Three letter usernames are always impressive, like yeah! You did it! Short and to the point, love it. Question! Do we pronounce the H in Dhillon? Thinking like Duh-hillon or a little breath in after the D. Maybe the D is silent. That would be great. Awful for commentators and award presenters, but great.
14. Michael Touchback - Tacocat
Wow. Circle of life. Started out with round 1 with an SHL Norway bud and finishing with an SHL Norway bud. Tacocat is our lovely goalie there, and I bet will make a lovely Runningback here! Also love a palindrome, good stuff.
Okay let's take a break and acknowledge that we made it over 1,000 words. I love money, so we're going to do round 2 as well for some more cash and because I love to talk. Okay deep breaths in and out. Time for more garbage commentary with me.
15. Known Acquaintance - rotzbua
dogdogdogdogdogdog absolutely incredible for sure the steal of the draft, can't believe dog render didn't go first overall incredibly disappointed in everyone for not getting this aussie shepherd into a single digit spot. Just imagine. Dog playing football with people. If the sim engine had people like PBE and not dogs I would pay someone real money to mod a dog in there. Also great name.
16. Monty Ward - xqcfamous
So uh, you like overwatch streamers? Totally had a Everything, Everywhere, All At Once multiverse hopping-level reaction to reading xqc. Man. Haven't heard that name in ages. Anyway all those stats are in the double digits so that's neat. Pythons are treating Ward very well.
17. Stryker Brown - chxhawk
First Butchers pick of the draft and they picked an excellent name. Stryker strikes some fear into the heart and definitely sounds like someone who could wield a hatchet. Good stuff. And that username rocks. Chexhawk? Does the ch make a more guttural sound? Either way, good stuff. Dude in the pic has METAL CHAINS around his neck. That goes hard.
18. Brandon Mason - bmason0520
Wow. Born in May of the year 2020. A pandemic baby is amongst us. Incredible. (Oh jeez, some day pandemic babies will actually be on this site and I will be so so old). Dedicated to the cause member of the same name, same username club. Good stuff, probably watches some football.
19. Brock Landers Jr. - gucci
Another good name. Brock. Hope he has a frying pan that doubles as a drying pan. That is a lot of yards to run for one man, but his name is Brock so that makes perfect sense. Of course he runs.
20. Adam Rage - MrMom
Super jazzed to have MrMom in NOLA because they're on the Manhattan Rage with me in the SHL as well! Double teammates are super fun. Also I STILL don't know if they like the Michael Keaton movie. I've been meaning to ask for forever and just haven't. Also almost had to google to remember Keaton's name but I didn't because that would be cheating. I haven't looked up anything else and I'm not about to start now.
21. Tingis Pingis - negs
A fellow seawolf! There have probably been others but I have not been paying attention I am so sorry. But this is a fun name and those are some fun stats. 1 interception! They could do more, if they wanted to, but they just don't want to. Don't worry about it.
22. Gribbuh Fister - hontier
Back to back Liberty picks with absolutely nonsense names. 100% these peeps are pals because there is simply no other explanation. You don't get to see nonsense names like these everyday just for free. Have to pay the price of back to back picks. Also, he really does fist those gribbuhs, wow.
23. Ryan Murray - ryanm1414
Wow. Murray was born in 2014 in the 14th month of the year. You know how it goes December, Winter Holidays, and then That Weird Time After Holidays When All Time is Fake? Murray was born in that month. Which makes them a very powerful psychic person. Beware Ryan Murray on the field.
24. Luther Vox - luthervox
Okay, so. First of all, very cool name. Secondly, let's talk about the same username same player name. That is a lot of commitment. You are saying THIS is my player. Forever. Sure you can change your username, or have a million Juniors, but that's different. That's not the same player you start with, that you spent those first days, weeks, months getting to know and fleshing out. You can't just recreate with a John Doe. I mean, you can, but why would you? You've already pledged yourself to this one player. Also solid stats, sabercats nabbed someone nice.
25. Danny Nedelko - crunk
Outlaws nabbed a real great one with this pick. Again an SHL S62 bud, though I'm not certain crunk found the league through reddit. I'm not at all in the wrestling world but that's a cool render with a very nice hair accessory. I hope he has that on in all the photos.
26. Yummy Hotdogpie - fleshbagsoup
Hmm. I regret having eyes. What an evocative name and render. That's really something else. I hope Carissa never meets this player on the field, because that sounds like a Beetlejuice banana song type of fight. Also it gets hot out. One hundred percent that hotdogpie starts to smell a couple hours into the game. Also, really, who let a hotdogpie play?
27. Blibby Shpoopy - whatamus
Devastated that this player didn't go to the Liberty with their nonsense name. They would've fit right in. This is not the name of someone who wields a butcher, but someone who is butchered. But also I know very little and maybe this name will one day strike fear into my heart. Just not today, Blibby.
28. Deckerd Deshaw - Deckerd
We get to finish on a NOLA friend! Once again, a serious player name for a serious team that's really going somewhere in the next few seasons. Absolutely perfect and Deckerd will fit right in.
Okay, quick celebration for getting over 2,000 words with a very rambly and rapidly declining thought-pattern wise analysis of the S37 draft. Many many congratulations to everyone drafted and greatly looking forward to seeing everyone on the field!
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2014 words
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