09-20-2022, 10:10 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-22-2022, 10:25 AM by MobiausGrander. Edited 1 time in total.)
A lot of teams have been sniffing around thinking about draft me in this upcoming draft. Well let me save you all some time and make my needs apparent. I will be clear and say that any team that can meet these demands I will be happy to play for. If you don't meet these demands then Booter is not going to be happy with you.
1. Immediate call up to the ISFL
I am aiming for the hall of fame and I want as many chances as possible to demonstrate my kicking superiority. I do not want to spend a season toiling away in the DSFL so if you draft me you better call me up. I am happy to take a reduced role (such as KOS) but I want to be on that main roster
2. When you draft me, the picture used during the draft broadcast better include my face WITHOUT a helmet on
I was shocked and appalled that my DSFL draft picture included me in full uniform with me helmet on. I mean isn't it clear that my face is the money maker and best overall feature of my god-like body? When you draft me the picture put up on that screen better have my unobscured face on it. Think of all the marketing and jersey sales I am going to bring you. It is best to highlight that early.
3. I will not accept a league minimum contract
Yes you read that correctly I demand more than the minimum in my first ISFL contract. It is quite simple. I know that I am going to deliver above minimum value for you both on and off the field and I expect to be compensated as such. If you aren't willing to open up your wallets for Booter than don't waste your pick.
4. I must play with Snappy Gilmore
Look there is no way to sugarcoat this, my kicking stats aren't where they should be this year and there is just one reason for that. Snappy Gilmore is not on my team. Snappy was an amazing player with me at Williams and truly let me realize my potential as one of the greatest collegiate kickers of all time. Simply put, I need Snappy to be able to perform at my highest level and bring you greatness on the field. Any team that drafts me should do so knowing that I fully need Snappy as my long snapper for as long as I remain on the team.
So there you have it, my four non-negotiable demands. I stand by that I, Booter McGavin, will be the best draft pick your franchise has ever made. I am ready to bring glory to my team on the field and sell all the merch off of it. Booter will be all in for your team and I expect the same to be given in return.
Booter out Baby!!
1. Immediate call up to the ISFL
I am aiming for the hall of fame and I want as many chances as possible to demonstrate my kicking superiority. I do not want to spend a season toiling away in the DSFL so if you draft me you better call me up. I am happy to take a reduced role (such as KOS) but I want to be on that main roster
2. When you draft me, the picture used during the draft broadcast better include my face WITHOUT a helmet on
I was shocked and appalled that my DSFL draft picture included me in full uniform with me helmet on. I mean isn't it clear that my face is the money maker and best overall feature of my god-like body? When you draft me the picture put up on that screen better have my unobscured face on it. Think of all the marketing and jersey sales I am going to bring you. It is best to highlight that early.
3. I will not accept a league minimum contract
Yes you read that correctly I demand more than the minimum in my first ISFL contract. It is quite simple. I know that I am going to deliver above minimum value for you both on and off the field and I expect to be compensated as such. If you aren't willing to open up your wallets for Booter than don't waste your pick.
4. I must play with Snappy Gilmore
Look there is no way to sugarcoat this, my kicking stats aren't where they should be this year and there is just one reason for that. Snappy Gilmore is not on my team. Snappy was an amazing player with me at Williams and truly let me realize my potential as one of the greatest collegiate kickers of all time. Simply put, I need Snappy to be able to perform at my highest level and bring you greatness on the field. Any team that drafts me should do so knowing that I fully need Snappy as my long snapper for as long as I remain on the team.
So there you have it, my four non-negotiable demands. I stand by that I, Booter McGavin, will be the best draft pick your franchise has ever made. I am ready to bring glory to my team on the field and sell all the merch off of it. Booter will be all in for your team and I expect the same to be given in return.
Booter out Baby!!