Warning:
- What you are about to read will likely offend you, you will probably want to report this post and try and get me banned for expressing my opiniOn (looking at you, Baltimore). Read at your own risk.
Welcome to my roast of the NSFL/DSFL team logos, and by roast I mean completely burnt and blackened. Go ahead, look around the league, and tell me how many good ass logos you see...probably 2, maybe 3. The rest are shit and it's a crying shame, because logos and branding go a long way in how a league is viewed. Go over to the EFL, and you'll quickly understand the difference between quality graphics and utter garbage.
So I'm gonna roast the fuck out of the logos and brands I find repulsive.
Baltimore Hawks
- where to even begin? The Hawks recently announced a "new" logo, that was eerily similar to their original version, except this one features a brand new color scheme: puke green. I can just see the genius mind of whoever thought this was a good idea being like "I got it, I'm gonna take a canvas, throw up on it, and call it art!". This team should be ashamed, yall should of slapped the shit out of whoever presented this idea and taken your time to come up with something really bad ass. Instead, yall paid your two year old sister to throw up on it and cut it out herself. Well done.
Colorado Yeti:
- The Yeti are currently on their fourth Gm in as many seasons, and I can't help but wonder that maybe if they had a logo which didn't look like a retarded ape with a bleach blonde dye, they would of had better luck keeping a GM. Also, nobody even thinks of a massive snow monster when you hear the word "Yeti", everyone thinks of the awesome Yeti coolers, and if your me, you instantly hit Instagram and type in #yetibutts. And, like the Hawks masterpiece, it just looks flat and better suited for the trash can.
Philadelphia Liberty:
- if there is one thing I can appreciate, its patriotism and pure love of country. So while I credit Philly for their patriotism, I also have to wonder what the actual fuck they were thinking. Liberty? Seriously? That name is already being used by a WNBA team....a WNBA TEAM. That should be clue number one. Philadelphia is a bad ass city, their fiercely loyal and shit on everyone that isn't one of their own, and the Liberty failed mightily to harness that factor, and chose to take the most masculine sport in America and completely de-emasculate their brand. They swung and missed, badly, everything about this logo is low quality, from the basic stock font they chose to the weird texture effect thing in the wood above the bell- it's just fucking weak.
Chicago Blues:
- out of all the logos, this one pisses me off the most, because Chicago is my fucking city, so this one is personal. The only part of this logo that makes ANY sense is the four stars on the bottom, other than that, it looks like some gay fucking peace symbol had buttsex with the YMCA and gave birth to a fidget spinner. It's a disgrace, and much like the Liberty, they failed to harness what Chicago is. They tried, shittily, to grab onto the Blues music theme, but man did they fall short. This is an embarrassment to the city. Oh and another shit 2D rendition as well.
Portland Pythons:
- I literally laughed out loud when I saw this team. I would be ashamed to wear these jerseys, I'm still not sure what the fuck I'm even looking at. There is way too much going on, it's as if they were trying to be revolutionary or something, I can't pinpoint what their thought process was, but they were definitely baked when they came up with it. Oh, the logo, another fucking shield, and you can barely see the dark purple Python in the middle, and it was without question done in paint, this is a classic paint masterpiece. ALSO ITS NOT EVEN A PYTHON, ITS A COBRA. And someone explain to me why there is a FUCKING TRIDENT? Are these the SeaPythons or something? Gawd I just saw the jerseys again, they get worse every time I see them. This like a nightmare, MAKE IT STOP. Without question the worst jerseys I've seen in 13 years of sim league-ing. Fucking hideous.
Kansas City Coyotes:
- Another logo and brand better suited for the WNBA, we have the lovely Coyotes. Let's begin with the color scheme, first what's the big fucking craze over purple? Secondly, I see where the Hawks get the idea for the puke color scheme, as they must of seen how fabulous it looked in Kansas City. The jerseys look like a girls high school volleyball team. Again, another team trying turn the ferocity of football, of bashing your opponent into the ground and inflicting physical harm onto them, into some sort of patty cake convention where everyone exchanges safety pins and plays touch football.
Yall are lucky I'm not an admin. If you came to me and tried to put one of these hideous brands and logos into my league I'd laugh in your face and replace you simply for thinking these brands were even remotely good. There is something to be said for QUALITY, and it's incredible obvious which teams in this league actually knew what they were doing.
I guess if the league was trying to harness the ugly friend effect- where hot people take pictures with their not hot friends to make them look hotter, I see why they allowed this shit.
- What you are about to read will likely offend you, you will probably want to report this post and try and get me banned for expressing my opiniOn (looking at you, Baltimore). Read at your own risk.
Welcome to my roast of the NSFL/DSFL team logos, and by roast I mean completely burnt and blackened. Go ahead, look around the league, and tell me how many good ass logos you see...probably 2, maybe 3. The rest are shit and it's a crying shame, because logos and branding go a long way in how a league is viewed. Go over to the EFL, and you'll quickly understand the difference between quality graphics and utter garbage.
So I'm gonna roast the fuck out of the logos and brands I find repulsive.
Baltimore Hawks
- where to even begin? The Hawks recently announced a "new" logo, that was eerily similar to their original version, except this one features a brand new color scheme: puke green. I can just see the genius mind of whoever thought this was a good idea being like "I got it, I'm gonna take a canvas, throw up on it, and call it art!". This team should be ashamed, yall should of slapped the shit out of whoever presented this idea and taken your time to come up with something really bad ass. Instead, yall paid your two year old sister to throw up on it and cut it out herself. Well done.
Colorado Yeti:
- The Yeti are currently on their fourth Gm in as many seasons, and I can't help but wonder that maybe if they had a logo which didn't look like a retarded ape with a bleach blonde dye, they would of had better luck keeping a GM. Also, nobody even thinks of a massive snow monster when you hear the word "Yeti", everyone thinks of the awesome Yeti coolers, and if your me, you instantly hit Instagram and type in #yetibutts. And, like the Hawks masterpiece, it just looks flat and better suited for the trash can.
Philadelphia Liberty:
- if there is one thing I can appreciate, its patriotism and pure love of country. So while I credit Philly for their patriotism, I also have to wonder what the actual fuck they were thinking. Liberty? Seriously? That name is already being used by a WNBA team....a WNBA TEAM. That should be clue number one. Philadelphia is a bad ass city, their fiercely loyal and shit on everyone that isn't one of their own, and the Liberty failed mightily to harness that factor, and chose to take the most masculine sport in America and completely de-emasculate their brand. They swung and missed, badly, everything about this logo is low quality, from the basic stock font they chose to the weird texture effect thing in the wood above the bell- it's just fucking weak.
Chicago Blues:
- out of all the logos, this one pisses me off the most, because Chicago is my fucking city, so this one is personal. The only part of this logo that makes ANY sense is the four stars on the bottom, other than that, it looks like some gay fucking peace symbol had buttsex with the YMCA and gave birth to a fidget spinner. It's a disgrace, and much like the Liberty, they failed to harness what Chicago is. They tried, shittily, to grab onto the Blues music theme, but man did they fall short. This is an embarrassment to the city. Oh and another shit 2D rendition as well.
Portland Pythons:
- I literally laughed out loud when I saw this team. I would be ashamed to wear these jerseys, I'm still not sure what the fuck I'm even looking at. There is way too much going on, it's as if they were trying to be revolutionary or something, I can't pinpoint what their thought process was, but they were definitely baked when they came up with it. Oh, the logo, another fucking shield, and you can barely see the dark purple Python in the middle, and it was without question done in paint, this is a classic paint masterpiece. ALSO ITS NOT EVEN A PYTHON, ITS A COBRA. And someone explain to me why there is a FUCKING TRIDENT? Are these the SeaPythons or something? Gawd I just saw the jerseys again, they get worse every time I see them. This like a nightmare, MAKE IT STOP. Without question the worst jerseys I've seen in 13 years of sim league-ing. Fucking hideous.
Kansas City Coyotes:
- Another logo and brand better suited for the WNBA, we have the lovely Coyotes. Let's begin with the color scheme, first what's the big fucking craze over purple? Secondly, I see where the Hawks get the idea for the puke color scheme, as they must of seen how fabulous it looked in Kansas City. The jerseys look like a girls high school volleyball team. Again, another team trying turn the ferocity of football, of bashing your opponent into the ground and inflicting physical harm onto them, into some sort of patty cake convention where everyone exchanges safety pins and plays touch football.
Yall are lucky I'm not an admin. If you came to me and tried to put one of these hideous brands and logos into my league I'd laugh in your face and replace you simply for thinking these brands were even remotely good. There is something to be said for QUALITY, and it's incredible obvious which teams in this league actually knew what they were doing.
I guess if the league was trying to harness the ugly friend effect- where hot people take pictures with their not hot friends to make them look hotter, I see why they allowed this shit.
LAS VEGAS LEGION
Sponsored By Trump Athletics - Mr. 96th Overall- TPE= 280
Sponsored By Trump Athletics - Mr. 96th Overall- TPE= 280